Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in One Step at a Time

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in One Step at a Time

Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in One Step at a Time
Posted by… suppressed (92) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
She had a stare fit for any Captain when she had her confidence. Sometimes Sisnil wondered what she might’ve done if the Syndicate hadn’t sold her to Lokhar. “Okay. Fine. But only if I have to.” He relented.

~ Zoi

Dradvia actually rolled her eyes at him. “Obviously.” She adjusted the sheet around him. “Try to sleep. I will be here the whole time.” She knew he had a hard time resting when he was vulenerable.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil grinned and looked at her. “Okay. Wanna play with Simon? He needs to, even if all he wants to do is lay on me.”

~ Zoi

She grinned back at him, she couldn’t help it, even as her cheeks flushed. “Yeah, I’ll entertain Simon. You rest. When you wake up we’ll try to eat a little something. By then the medicine should be fully working.” She gathered Simon into her arms, despite his protesting cries and went and found a toy.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisni slept lightly for maybe an hour. When he woke, he looked for Dee. “Did I sleep?”

~ Zoi

Dradvia was sitting just as she had the night she had stayed with him. She was watching the door and him at the same time. Except she was sitting on the floor with a sleeping Simon in her lap. He had collapsed there after playing full tilt for half an hour. Dradvia gently slid him off her lap and then stood and walked over to the bed. She reached out and touched the back of her hand to his forehead. “About an hour. How is your stomach?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

It was warm, but seemed a little better. “Better than it was, not good,” he answered with a shrug. “I’m not good for you,” he said with a little grin. “Making you act paranoid.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia looked at him confused and sad. “I am paranoid, Sisnil. You didn’t do that to me.” She bathed his face gently. “Do you want to try more tea or some broth?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He shook his head. “Not feeling hungry. Or thirsty.” He said with a little shrug.

~ Zoi

That wasn’t good. Dradvia opened her tricorder, pulling out the small scanner and ran it over him.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Dee, I’m fine,” he said when he saw her open the scanner.

It showed the meds had lowered his fever, his temperature wasn’t normal, but it wasn’t as high. His body was still fighting the infection. He would be completely dehydrated if she hadn’t made him drink earlier.

Normally he’d be fine, but with throwing up and sweating from the fever he was exhausting his body’s water supply more quickly. His stomach was empty, but it had only been just over twelve hours since he’d eaten.

He’d thrown up some of his last meal the first time when he’d thrown up that morning. With the anti nausea meds he should be able to keep something bland and light down, but his stomach was hurting still and the idea of food was sickening.

He was focusing on his senses as she scanned, waiting for her reaction.

~ Zoi

She wasn’t happy. She was genuinely concerned. “Your fever is down, but not enough. I’m going to give you acetaminophen to help, that should help with the pain in your stomach. 15 minutes. Then you have to try to drink. If you can’t I’m hooking up an infusion unit. You are getting dehydrated a lot faster than you should.”

As she spoke, Dradvia loaded the hypospray and pressed it to his neck. She rubbed the spot gently to help disburse it. Then she stood suddenly. She jerked the sheet back and off the end of the bed. “Alright, shirt off, come on. We have to get your fever down.” She made a give me motion with her hand, indicating he needed to hand over the suddenly offensive garment.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Hey, Dee…!” Sisnil complained, reaching for the blankets. “I’m cold. Gimme those!” He said, doing ‘grabbie hands’ towards the blanket.

~ Zoi

“No.” The sheet and blanket landed in a pile on the floor. “Shirt. Off. Now.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Alright,” he said in a tone of voice that said ‘you asked’. He pulled his shirt off and tossed it on the pile. “Anything else you want off?”

~ Zoi

That was the loaded question of the century. If Dradvia wasn’t so focused on her concern for his medical state, she would have melted right into the floor in a puddle from the heat of her blush. Instead she shook her head. “You can keep your shorts.” She sat back down, grabbed the cloth, soaked it in the cold water, wrung it out, and then proceeded to bathe his chest and arms with it.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

And Sisnil knew it, too. But he didn’t push it any further. He was trying to be funny, not embarrass her maliciously. “Dee, that’s cold.” He complained. “Trying to freeze me to death?”

~ Zoi

“I know it is, but I’m not sorry.” She did have sympathy for him though. She gave him a glare. “No I’m trying to freeze you back to health. You are too hot.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“One day of being too hot’s gonna kill me?” Who knew he could complain so much? Still, Dee leaning over him, gently washing the cloth over his skin.... Wasn’t exactly unpleasureable, the cold aside. She didn’t need telepathy to know that.

~ Zoi

“It could since you are already severely dehydrated after just a handful of hours. Your bed is soaked in sweat. I need to change the sheets. Be glad it is just a cold cloth and not an ice cold shower.” She was doing a good job of not thinking about it. But making herself not think about it meant she was thinking about it.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I am not taking an ice shower.” Sisnil said. “I can change my sheets, don’t worry about it. You’re not a maid.” His body was sore and achy but he always insisted on doing things for himself.

~ Zoi

“No, I am not a maid. But right now I am both your doctor and your nurse. And laying in those wet sheets will make you clamy and uncomfortable. Being a doctor is about more than giving hypos. I care for all parts of you. So stop being tough and just say, ‘Thank you, Dee’.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

”........Thanks, Dee.” He said, reluctantly obediently. “Tell me when you want me up, I guess.”

~ Zoi

“As soon as I’m done cooling you off.” She smiled surprised. “You are a grouchy patient. I wish I could make this go away instantly.” She bathed his arms, neck, chest, and down his legs. “Alright, do you think you can sit up? We can get clean sheets on and dry clothes. You can try to drink something.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I can sit up. I’m sick, not dying,” Sisnil said with a grin. He sat up carefully, coughing some. He stood out of the bed and lumbered towards the closet.

~ Zoi

She was just worried he might be dizzy or hurting too much to get up. After he stood she made quick work of changing the soiled sheets for clean dry sheets. She replaced the pillow cases as well and then turned to look at him. “Do you want to sit in bed.or the chair to try and eat?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“The chair,” he said as he pulled a shirt out of the closet. “Sure you want me to put this on? I mean..... I might get too hot.” He teased as he sat in the chair with it.

~ Zoi

She eyed him, stalked across the room and took the shirt from him. “You’re right, leave it off. It will do you good to sit in the cool.” She would not enjoy the view.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil looked quite pleased with himself despite how cold he was. He sniffed the tea and put it down. “So what am I probably not eating?”

~ Zoi

If Dradvia was a telepath he would be in a lot of trouble. Luckily for him, she wasn’t. She looked at the various things on the table. “I have chicken broth, plain crackers, toast, andSkadi soup. I looked it up. I know you didn’t grow up on Betazed, but apparently it is made for people who are sick.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I know what it is,” he said, in a soft tone of voice she’d never heard him use. He didn’t reach for any of them though. None of it looked appetising just then. “Uhm....”

~ Zoi

She watched him. “How about just some water? Just a few sips?” Had she upset him? She must have brought up a memory he didn’t want to remember. So much for not making him sad.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Please don’t worry, Dee,” Sisnil said, looking up at her. “I… I’ll try to drink some tea.” And he did pick up the cup and try to drink some.

~ Zoi

“You can’t stop me from worrying. I’m sorry I made you sad.” She busied herself with tidying up. There wasn’t much really, but it let her hands be busy.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“That’s not your fault.” Sisnil almost wanted to tell her why. Almost. But he didn’t. “It was a touching thought. Thank you.”

~ Zoi

“You’re welcome,” she tossed over her shoulder at him. It seemed the harder she tried the more she failed. Dradvia paused, standing absolutely still, eyes closed. She breathed past the sudden fear in her gut, the guilt, the hopelessness, the despair, and the desperation. She had tried so hard to please Lokhar. Working tirelessly to remember every minute detail of how he liked things. How to act, how to look, how to breathe. She always failed. She always disappointed him and hurt him with her failure. She had earned every punishment he gave her.

She breathed fighting with the memories and brainwashing.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil stood and came up behind her, hugging her.

She didn’t hear him get up or walk across the room. She was alone in her memories and then someone was grabbing her from behind. Dradvia froze, swallowing back a scream that would only make what was about to happen worse. He was bigger, stronger, massive compared to her. Lokhar didn’t need his weapons, but he liked them.

“I know I probably shouldn’t touch you, but you need this.” He said softly. His body was warm from the fever. “You don’t have to be perfect, Dee. It’s okay.”

~ Zoi

A quiet sob escaped her at his voice. Relief and shame and shock made her knees go weak and she shivered. Her hair brushed his face as she shook her head. It wasn’t okay, it could never be okay.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil held onto her gently. “It is okay, Dee. I’m here.” He said. “You…” He was a little dizzy, the illness mixed with not eating all day. “You can’t blame yourself for not knowing my past.”

~ Zoi

That wasn’t what had been beaten into her. She was responsible for everything. Now wasn’t the time to fall apart though. “Y… y… you need to get back in … you need to rest.” She wanted more than anything to let him hold her, but she was there to care for him. He was sick.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil kept hugging her. “I will. But Dee, it’s not your fault.” He said it again. She needed to hear it more than once, he knew she did.

~ Zoi

She closed her eyes and tried to breathe. Her body was shaking at the strain of holding the panic at bay. She knew it was Sisnil behind her, but apparently this was one of those triggers she didn’t know about. “Please.” She wanted him to hold her, but not like that. It brought back too much terror. “Please let me go.” She could not lose control now. She had to take care of him. “Please.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil immediately let her go. “Sorry. Sorry, sorry. See, I’m not perfect either.” He said as he stepped back. “You okay?”

~ Zoi

She reached back for his hand and held on to the lifeline. “I… I didn’t know.” She hadn’t known that would bother her. “I will be. It’s not your fault, I didn’t know either.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil squeezed her hand. There was another small wave of dizziness that he did his best to ignore. “Okay. I won’t do that again, until you’re ready, if that happens.”

~ Zoi

“Thank you.” It was whispered, but he could feel the strain begin to leave her immediately. Would it ever stop? She turned to look at him, not meeting his gaze at all. She looked and felt small, vulnerable and fragile.

She could see that his whole body was flushed from the fever. “You need to lay down. Get some sleep.” She still wasn’t fully looking at him.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil sat on the bed, but didn’t lay down. He took the tea and the Betazoid soup and put them on the side table as he sat down. “Dee, look at me.”

~ Zoi

She didn’t want to, but it wasn’t a request. It wasn’t an order either. It was a coaxing. Her eyes lifted, but she was doing that thing where her eyes were up but looking just below his and to the side. Looking at the wall behind him.

She didn’t want to see the disappointment or the pity. She knew. She saw how he laughed and relaxed when she forgot everything else and was just a doctor. How he teased her more, the subtle body language that told her he liked her that way. The only place she felt confident and in control. He preferred that person to what she really was.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Come on Dee, you can do it,” Sisnil said, not fooled. The trouble with mind readers. He could tell. He smiled and hugged her from the front. “It’s going to be okay.”

~ Zoi

Could she? Yes, she could force herself to look at him, despite the sick way it made her stomach churn, but she didn’t want to look at him. She didn’t want to see what was or was not there. Dradvia didn’t mind him reading her mind. It reminded her of Kryssa. Before they were taken. It was hard for Kryssa at first to adjust, but she always knew what Dradvia was thinking. She couldn’t help commenting or teasing her. It was like they had their own secret language. A little club that only they could belong to.

She was tugged closer, and Sisnil was hugging her. She let him; she liked when he hugged her. He was warm and felt safe. His skin was hot. His fever still hadn’t broken. “I’m fine.” She wasn’t, but she had to be. She pulled away and handed him his shirt. “Try to drink something and then sleep.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He pulled the shirt aside and picked up the tea. “I’m fine too,” he said, to make a point.

~ Zoi

Dradvia nodded. He wasn’t, but she knew what his point was. She didn’t feel like talking about what was wrong with her. For a brief flash she considered calling his bluff. If he was fine then she didn’t have to stay. But her heart wasn’t in it. She turned and picked up her own cup from the desk and then proceeded to pick up the dirty sheets and linens and put them aside to be cleaned.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I’m not making you stay, Dee. I’ll be okay.” Sisnil said, reading her thoughts. “But I don’t think leaving will make you feel better, either.”

~ Zoi

She wanted to stay. She didn’t want to leave. The thought had been simply to tease him. She just didn’t have the heart to tease him. “I want to stay. You can’t take care of yourself.” Nothing made her feel better… except being around him. But she kept getting it all wrong.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He took exception to the idea he couldn’t care for himself, but now wasn’t the time. “I wish I could help.” He said softly.

~ Zoi

Deadvia sighed. “You do. You help more than you realize. I’m just damaged, Sisnil. Beyond repair.” She fiddled with the cuffs of her sleeves, staring at her hands. “I told you I don’t have much to offer. That I didn’t know what would bother me or not. I haven’t had anyone, never wanted… to be… even friends with anyone.” He was wasting his love on her. “Everything was okay before you said that,” she was whispering, thinking out loud. “It was okay that I loved you and you never knew or felt the same. Only I would get hurt.”

She sank to the floor where Simon had woken up and was rubbing her leg.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil looked at her, shaking his head. “You’re not beyond repair, Dee. Damaged, maybe, but I have sensed your emotional healing. It’s slow going, it always is, but you are getting better.” He wrapped an arm around his stomach and set the tea down. “You have so much to offer, not hugging you from behind you isn’t a big deal at all. You’re so caring, you don’t hate me for what I’ve done, who I am.” He looked up at her, “You just admitting you love me, and if that was all you could offer, I’d be okay with that.” It’s my choice to love you, and if I get hurt because of it, then that’s on me.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia shook her head. Did she say that? She had thought she was only thinking it. It was true. Or at least she thought it was. She didn’t really know anything about love. What if it wasn’t right? What if she was doing it wrong? Well he knew all her thoughts and feelings anyway. Even before she did. It was no revelation to him. He had said he could tell her, but she had to figure it out for herself.

“I don’t want you hurt.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I know,” Sisnil said softly, “but sometimes you have to risk being hurt, or there is no reward.”

~ Zoi

Did it ever work that way? Deadvia had risked a lot at times, but all she ever got was pain. The reward of having him in her life was everything. She knew she would be hurt though. He was leaving, and she had to make sure he had no reason to stay.

She gathered Simon into her arms and stood. She carried him over and set him on the bed to cuddle with Sisnil. She touched his arm around his stomach. “Are you hurting again? Here, lay down. You need rest. We can argue over my… quirks later.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Simon curled up next to Sisnil’s side as Sisnil lay back. “It’s okay… I’m sure it’ll settle down again soon,” he said.

~ Zoi

She sat gingerly on the side of the bed and used her tricorder to check his temperature. Hopefully it had come down some more.

“Try to sleep. Do you want music or something?” She pulled the clean dry sheet up over him. It wasn’t too heavy and shouldn’t warm him up. Hopefully it would soothe his chill a bit though.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

It had dropped exactly .3 degrees. “No,” he said. “I want you here.”

~ Zoi

She couldn’t give him anything else for a couple of more hours. She soaked the cloth again and bathed his face. “I’m not leaving. Promise. I’ll read or play with Simon while you sleep.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He nodded. He didn’t plan on falling asleep but as soon as his eyes shut he drifted off for a couple of hours. When he woke, he pulled the sheet closer to him and then sat up a little bit.

~ Zoi

When he woke, Dradvia was in what she thought of as her usual spot. Sitting in a chair angled to watch the door and him. She was holding a PaDD and reading. Seeing him move she lowered the PaDD. She stood and walked over to him. “Hi.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled and even seemed to relax a little when she came over. “Hey, Dee,” he said. Simon was still curled up next to him and put a paw on his side and mewed.

~ Zoi

“How are you feeling?” She bathed his face again, chuckling as a drop hit Simon’s head and the cat cried.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“A little better, I think,” Sisnil said. He reached down and pet Simon’s head. “It’s just a little water. Remember when you got all greasy and I bathed you?”

~ Zoi

“Oh dear. Did you get unto mischief, Simon?” She scratched his ears, but he was only interested in Sisnil for now. Dradvia ran another scan.

He needed to eat. And to drink more. He wasn’t much more dehydrated than before, but it hadn’t really improved, either. Other than that, he was the same.

“Do you think you could try a little water?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He frowned at the cup of water from earlier. “Maybe.”

~ Zoi

“Okay, is there anything that appeals a little? Anything at all? I’ll get it for you. Or we can skip that and go with an infusion pack.” It wasn’t worse but not better. It would get worse if something didn’t change.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He sat in silence while he thought about it. There wasn’t really. “I don’t have to go to sickbay for the infusion pack, do I?”

~ Zoi

Dradvia considered it and the various medical protocols. He was awake, cognizant, and rational. He wasn’t in immediate acute medical distress. He needed to stay quarantined until he was past it. Levodian flu was very contagious and spread quickly. Short lived, but having the whole crew down for over a day was bad. An infusion would be preventative rather than emergency. There was one in her medkit. “No, I can give it to you here.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Then I’ll let you do that. It’ll hydrate me faster than me tryig to force down two sips at a time of something. Should put you at ease that I’m not dying of dehydration.” Sisnil said, looking up at her.

~ Zoi

“You are not going to die of dehydration. I won’t let you.” She reached for her kit and set it on the beside her. She took out the infusion unit and then a bag of fluids. She prayed his arm with antiseptic. “Besides,” she searched her memory for the name, “I am not giving your Eli any excuse to come after me. Battlefield medics are scary. You don’t mess up with their patients.” She looked up while covering his arm with the she sheet. “All done.” Usually there was a pinch, but her touch was so light he didn’t notice. “The fluids will be cold and probably chill You. I’ll get you a blanket.” She got up and then came back. She laid the blanket over him and tucked it in around him.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil looked at his arm. “You already hooked me in?” He asked. Battlefield medics were awesome for saving your life, but often rough around the edges. Eli wasn’t the most gentle. The fluids started to flow and like Dee said, he could feel the chill run through his system. The blanket made it more comfortable. “Thanks, Dee.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia nodded, “I got really good at being gentle and quick when…,” she took a steadying breath, “when I treated the other slaves. We went through enough, you know.” She fussed with the blanket a little. “How’s the pain? I can give you something more, now.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I wanna curl up but I know it won’t help,” Sisnil admitted. He was starting to look tired again as the fluids helped his system.

~ Zoi

“Then curl up. Here.” Dradvia lifted the blanket so he could roll over. She propped his arm with the infusion unit on an extra pillow and then tucked the blanket back around him. Simon sniffed and cried, so she tucked him under the blanket in a safe spot next to Sisnil.

Her fingers brushed softly across his forehead, sweeping his hair back. “Sleep. I’ll be here.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil rolled over and pulled his legs up to himself. He hugged Simon to his chest, who obediently purred loudly against him. “They were lucky to have you around, you know. The other slaves.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia smiled sadly. “Thanks.” She wished she had known more then. Had been able to do more, save more of them. In the end though,she knew she helped more than they would have gotten otherwise.

While he slept again, Deadvia resumed her spot in the chair and read to keep her mind away from the memories.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil slept another few hours, but it seemed like he was dreaming. He muttered softly in his sleep. Simon squirmed away and moved to a safer place as Sisnil moved some in his sleep. He woke later on and seemed a little out of it as he glanced around the room.

~ Zoi

Dradvia glanced up from the PaDD to look at him. He had dreamed, but high fevers did that. All she could do was keep the cold cloth on him.

Seeing him awake she got up and walked over carefully, he seemed confused. “Sisnil? It’s Dra…it’s Dee.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

The confusion cleared after a short moment and he nodded. “Of course, I know that.” He covered. He stretched a little bit, pet Simon, and then rolled onto his back. “What time is it?”

~ Zoi

She sat down and took another scan. “About 1420. You slept a few hours this time. How are you feeling?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

His fever was up a bit again. Confusion was a rare symptom of this illness, so it would explain the momentary disorientation. “I’m fine,” he said and smiled, and brushed her hand that was holding the scanner gently with his. “Just a bit of stomach pain still.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia smiled at him, the heat that tingled up her arm had nothing to do with his fever. “You are not fine. If you were you wouldn’t be in pain and have a fever.” She set the tricorder down and reached for the hypo. “It’s time for your next dose of Tryptophan-lysine distillate. I’ll give you something for your stomach too.” Her fingers brushed his hair off his forehead again. She wanted him to get better. He was about halfway through now. She knew he would get better, it just…she needed him better. Nothing she seemed to do helped. Though, logically, she knew it would be worse if she wasn’t treating him.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Eh, everybody gets a little sick from time to time,” Sisnil said with a little shrug, letting her give him the hypos. “If I’m not gonna die of it then I guess I’m fine.”

~ Zoi

“Then it’s a good thing I’m here, or you wouldn’t be. Levodian Flu is fast and burns out quickly, but can be devastating and deadly if you don’t take care of yourself. You’re stubborn and won’t admit you need a break or rest when you need it.” She hoped Eli was as rough and stubborn as Sisnil said. Otherwise who would make sure Sisnil was okay and took care of himself when he left? She pushed those spiriling thoughts back into their box before she cried. She could cry after he was gone.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil chuckled in response to her thoughts. “You’re scarier than he is but he has his ways,” he said and grinned at her.

~ Zoi

Her brows went up and she got this really concerned look on her face. Maybe he was more delirious than what he appeared. “I’m scarry? Now I know you are making fun of me.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Relax, Dee, I’m teasing you. I’m all here, I promise.” Sisnil said and patted her hand again.

~ Zoi

“Okay.” She picked up the cloth again and wrung it out in the water before bathing his face and neck. Then she checked the infusion unit. It still had a little time left. “Is there anything you want? Anything I can do?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He shivered slightly under the touch of the cloth. “No, I’m alright. …I might be feeling well enough to play cards or something.” He said.

~ Zoi

Setting the bowl and cloth aside, Dradvia glanced around. “Do you have any? If not I can run to the mess. I think there are some there.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“In that desk,” Sisnil pointed. “They’re casino quality. Easier to shuffle.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia moved over to the desk and searched the drawers, feeling awkward about going through his things. She found them and came back. “What do you want to play?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer