Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in Holodeck - Janaran Falls - 1600

Posted by Lieutenant Dr Tealor Tessan (CMO/CNS) in Holodeck - Janaran Falls - 1600

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in Holodeck - Janaran Falls - 1600
Posted by… suppressed (37) by the Post Ghost! 👻
Dradvia thought her first shift went fairly well. The nurses were all experienced and friendly. They helped her find her way around and get used to their routine. She’d eaten and then at 1600 she reported to the holodeck, still in her uniform. She didn’t know if Dr. Tessan would want her to wait outside for him or go in, so she waited.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Bump
The doors to the holodeck swept open Tealor’s warm smile greeted her as he motioned for her to step inside, he too wore his duty uniform as he had not had a chance to change yet. “Ah your hear excellent come in, come in” he noted turning and heading back into the suite.

Dradvia nodded and followed him inside rhe holodeck. She would never ever be late, unless she was dead. Punctuality, actually early arrival, was survival. She paused inside the door, allowing her eyes to roam over the simulated image.

Stepping into the holodeck was like transitioning to paradise, the duel cascading falls became one in a small pool half way down the three hundred foot cliff, continuing down in a mix of mist, water, and a multitude of colors caused by the light of Betazed’s twin suns.

The sound of the waters rushing to meet the tranquil waters of the pool below roared in time with the wind that was blowing lightly, the sway of the massive trees guarding the basin synchronized with the sounds and wind in a way the calmed the most restless of spirits. Sweet scents of various flowers drifted around the area creating a nature for of aroma therapy.

Dradvia noticed the timing and harmony and wondered if that was how it really was. It seemed to perfect to be natural. So programmed then to give a specific experience.

Various paths wound their way up to the top of the falls creating a scenic hike for any who chose to walk the paths. Around the basin of the pond groups of flowers and stones were placed in an offering to the area by various religious people seeking the tranquility of the area. It was clear to anyone walking in the area why people from all over came to seek peace inner healing here.

Dradvia could see why others liked it, but it seemed to chaotic and closed in to be peaceful. Nooks and crannies and small private spots abounded. Places to hide and surprise.

Tealor watch as she took it all in, her body language was very different from those who saw the falls for the first time.

“Would you like to change into something more comfortable?” he asked his eyes taking in the sight.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia’s eyes flicked up, widened in alarm, and she took a cautious step away from him. Something more comfortable. “No,” she said immediately. “Why? I’m fine this way.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor’s raised a hand and smiled warmly, “Just giving you the option to change into something more comfortable to hike in, I unfortunately have a meeting right after” he noted not really acknowledging her change in demeanor. “It’s a shame really no matter how hard the programmers try they can’t quite capture the euphoria you feel at the falls. It’s almost like someone drugs you when you first experience it.” he smiled down at her, “Shall we walk I would like to take you to the top of the falls if that’s ok the? We can talk along the way.”

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“I’m fine with my, Sir.” Her uniform and fleet issued boots were more than sufficient for hiking. For anything really. She looked back at the falls and shook her head, “I prefer things that don’t put me in an altered mental state.”

Her eyes scanned the falls and the climb, then she nodded, “That’s fine with me.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor looked to the the eastern path it was an easier hike and only took about an hour. “It does not really alter you physically it’s just so beautiful it feels fake,” he paused a moment. “If that makes sense? ” he said starting down the path. “So is there anything you need or would like to talk about?” he asked

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

It didn’t really make sense to Dradvia at all, but it did to him. She shrugged as theyvstarted walking. “Probably a need, but I couldn’t tell you what specifically about. I feel like I’ve talked so much over the years, that it’s on auto play. I don’t engage in the conversations anymore, honestly. It’s not that I am against counseling, but it’s always the same questions that I don’t have to think about the response anymore.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He continued a nice pace up the walk ways, small flowers and insects the resembled earth butterflies and Dragon flies scurried about in the air enjoying the various air currents provided by the falls. He thought on her comments and they totally made sense to him, if he had to talk about Elara one more time in a counseling session he would probably go mad, then again talking about her kept her present in his mind so that was something.

The hike wasn’t too bad. It was more strenuous than her daily activity, but it felt good to stretch.

“I think I understand that, so lets talk about something else. We can certainly talk about your past if you so chose, our pasts most certainly help shape us and mold us into who we are, but it does not have to define us or dominate our life and conversations going forward. ” he noted stopping looking around and took a kneel for a moment next to a small flower with a bulb on it. “Makaea Blooms!” he said as he picked two and handed her one then ate the bulb out of the middle. The bitterness made his eyes squint momentarily and then the slow sweet taste of the nectar beyond the shell made him smile, it almost tasted like milk chocolate and ice-cream he thought as he savored the flavor of it.

Dradvia watched him eat it and eyed the bloom dubiously. It wasn’t the real thing, but this was something she could do for Kryssa. She plucked the bulb and ate it. She showed no reaction to the bitterness or the sudden subtle sweetness.

Tealor made a mental note around her lack of reaction, but showed no indication that he had noticed it. She had certainly master control over her emotions.

“The monk’s say that Makaea Blooms remind us of people with great destinies , they all seem to start in hardship and flourish into something great and needed by us all” he said in a silly mocking tone. “I’m not sure I buy into the whole enlightenment thing of my people but they do make sense sometimes” he chuckled.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“All cultures have some form of enlightenment in their history. I think it is one of those universal milestones of a growing culture. Kind of like babies have universal milestones as they grow.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer
He nodded in agreement as he spoke. “That is an astute observation, you would make a good xenoanthropologist” he noted he continued up the winding path they would be nearing the first view point soon. “So tell me something about you that I don’t know, something not in your file” he requested.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

She was quiet for a moment. “I was almost adopted when I was really little.” She didn’t wait for him to ask before she continued. “Ms. Keighla worked at the orphanage where I grew up. She brought her daughter, Kryssa,” there was a strong ming of grief that even blocked Tessan could feel, “to work with her. We were best friends. She was going to adopt me, but she died. Kryssa ended up in the orphanage with me.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor was visibly shook by the wave of emotion,it was not often that they made their way in uninvited. Perhaps it was the environment. He stopped and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Mmm you loved her very much” he responed in more of a response to the emotion of it than the actual words she had said. “I’m sorry, ” he said

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia nodded, “I loved them both very much. I miss Kryssa every day.” There was that pang of grief again.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He started walking again fighting his instict to put a fatherly hand on her shoulder it would not go over well he expected. “Hmm I know that all too well, ” he said his thoughts drifiting to Elara momentarily. “I miss my Elara every day, I wish I could say that feeling fully goes away” he said with a simpathetic look, “But to be fully honest, I’m not sure I really want it too. Do you know what I mean?”

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia nodded, “I do. It’s a small way to keep her alive. No one else will remember her but me. When I’m gone…” She shrugged. There would be no one else to remember Kryssa. That hurt almost as much as her loss. She glanced at Tessan as they walked. “Elara was your wife?” Dradvia hazard a guess. Maybe a sister or daughter?

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor stopped looking over the area bellow remembering when he and Elara had stood here, she was so fascinated with swirl of colors below. They had been everywhere together. This place was not special to them in any real way but it was a memory. “We were best friends through school, dated after and were engaged to be married but fate chose another path for us” he noted. “I would love to hear about Kryssa when you are willing” he said still looking over the area they had walked up from, light lingered every where in sparkles of color that danced over every surface that would reflect them..

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

He didn’t seem to want to say more, so she didn’t ask. She looked over the falls at the sparks of light catching on the spray. “Kryssa would have liked it here. She always wanted to go to Betazed.” She took a deep breath, “She was Betazoid, but had never been there. She wanted to see how the things she read about really looked, the places where her mom grew up.” She started walking again. “Kryssa laughed over everything. She was constantly curious and drove our teachers crazy. She was kind and bright. She always did the right thing, the moral thing.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He smiled. “Sounds like Elara, her laugh was infectious, so kind so, smart. It sound like I would have liked Kryssa” he moved up along side her again as he continued. “My parents were kind enough to bring me here after my talents manifested early, so I spent a lot of time here. It was very overwhelming for me at first when I got back to earth, everyone’s thoughts and emotions exposed. Elara helped me so much, we were 8 and she thought what she said which made her the one person who was not confusing.” he said and paused a moment before continuing.

“Kryssa’s came late. She… she had no one to teach her. She was supposed to go to Betazed for training.” It had been a nightmare for Kryssa with no help.

Thinking about how hard it had been with the help of his parents and his training on Betazed, he could hardly fathom what it would have been like. “I know how hard it was with help, I can’t even going through it alone, ” he paused, it was a miracle that she had not gone insane or worse. “She must have been very strong willed to make it through that process without going mad.” he noted.

Dradvia looked away. The pain in her chest stabbed through her. “She didn’t.” Her voice was tight around the knot in her throat. She swallowed and breathed. “She was strong willed, but she didn’t make it. The Syndicate drove her past the edge.”

“I hope you don’t mind?, I try to make our time more bi-directional , one sided counseling feels sort of fake to me, it needed sometimes but for general check-in’s, I don’t think it helps much” he noted

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia shook her head, “No, I don’t mind. Everyone loved Kryssa. She had a way with people. Perhaps your Elara and Kryssa have met in the next life.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

The thought of that, brought him a little comfort. “Well I suppose that if they are watching over us, then they almost certainly have met, and likely telling stories about us. ” he finished looking around as if waiting to hear the two laughing. “I wounder what they are saying” he laughed.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia shrugged. “I’m not sure.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Bump
OOC: Sorry thought I responded.

Tessan became a little more somber, “I guess we will have to wait and find out,” he noted. “I’m glad we are having this chat today, I tend to avoid talking about her unless pressed.” he looked down at Dradvia as they walked. “I tend to lose my self in my work, how about you what do you do to keep sane?” he asked.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia shrugged. “Work, I guess. Not really sure I am sane, Dr. Tessan. I mean I can do my job and make moral decisions and I don’t hallucinate or hear voices or anything like that.” She paused to climb a rock over the next spot rather than the easier trail. “I’m not sure it’s possible to still be ‘sane’ after… after everything.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tessan noted the change in direction over the rock but had no inclination to get more of a workout. “The Ironic thing is the very fact that you processed the information that way, are able to function and deal with the day to day, ,suggest that you are indeed, sane” He said as they reached the third view point over looking the entire valley.

Dradvia didn’t agree with him. Being insane didn’t mean you weren’t intelligent and couldn’t think things through. Plenty of brilliant people, in all fields, were claimed to be insane. Dradvia didn’t feel sane most of the time. She’d been told all of this before, expressed the same self-introspection to be told and reassured she wasn’t insane. What did she know? Her life had ceased to hold any normal standard six years ago.

Stopping to take in the view he considered his own sanity briefly. “I feel,” he said taking a canteen out and handing it to Dradvia while he took a swig of his and swished it around before swallowing. “Trauma does not make us sane or not, but the resulting actions we take are the things that define it.” he looked down over the pool of water below, “Our minds can be a fragile thing, some people move on despite the trauma , making the best of the life they have and move forward, learning to deal with and heal from it, if possible. ” he noted. “Others are driven mad by it, stuck in a moment in time that no longer exists, unable to move on, replaying it over and over. The trauma they experienced becomes a sort of mental quicksand that they can’t escape on their own.” he finished contemplating his own 2 year spiral into darkness.

“So from what I can figure it would seem that the question is not so much one of sanity, but one of happiness and if there is a way to restore a healthy measure of it, or perhaps it’s joy.” he noted

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“I don’t know. I don’t understand my own psyche much less anyone else’s. It seems to me that joy and happiness are transient, so the pursuit of it is meaningless. If you are constantly trying to catch something, you are never satisfied, never happy, never content, because you never get it. Other times I think happiness is a myth and no more than a mask to fool people. That there is not a lot to find Joy in.” Dradvia shrugged. If she was Vulcan no one would ask her how she felt and why she did or did not feel things anymore.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor thought about what she was saying. “Hmm,” he started with a push of air, “pysche, is not something I try to focus on, I’m not sure most of those things that we take as, proper or sane, or happy or not, are not social constructs we use to make us feel safer and in control. But that is more of a philosophical debate than anything useful here. ” he responded now really just thinking out loud more than anything else.

Philosophy was not a past time Dradvia had ever indulged in. She was never likely to do so now. There was too much badness in the universe to waste time on day dreaming about how and why things should change or happen or stop or start.

He continued as they moved up toward the top. “My job” he said with a little hit of dissatisfaction. “at the end of the day as ships counselor, is to make sure you are not a danger to yourself, the crew, the ship, and are able to perform your duties. To listen when you need an ear, something I have not done such a great job of today ” he chuckled a little and continued. “My desire as someone who cares about the people he interacts with, is to help you reach and become the best version of you I can. ” he said. “No one can tell you, what your life should look like, certainly not me and for sure not society, its something you have to figure out,” he said with a brief pause “or not” he noted. “You have to decide what that should look like for you. If being happy more often than not is your goal, I can help you with that, though It would most likely be a journey we would have to take together, because I’m not there yet myself. ” he noted with more honesty than his professors would have liked. “I can tell you that until Elara’s death happiness had been my modus operandi, now” he said not finishing his sentence.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia graced him with a rare but understanding smile. “I don’t mind listening. I’ve done a lot of listening, I’m decent at it. I can’t give you advice, but sometimes listening is all that is needed.” She shrugged not really knowing what to say. “I don’t think I’m a danger to the crew. I would never hurt anyone. Not even someone trying to hurt me. I suppose that is a kind of danger to others though, isn’t it?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He smiled back. “I may take you up on that sometime.” he noted. “Hurting someone in the defense of self or others is a choice we each have to make, often in the moment, and something that we are critiqued on later.” he said as he moved over a log that had fallen on the path. “Nothing I have seen in you suggests that you meet any criteria for concern at this point. you, like most of us, have things that need to be worked on.” he said in response to her question.

She was so tired of ‘working on things’. From a medical stand point she knew the requirement and justifications and reasonings. At the same time she was so exhausted with it all.

“So Climbing the rocks. Is rock climbing something you do? or were you just passing the time differently?” he asked.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia paused to think about it. Looking back at the rocks and the path. “It’s something Kryssa would have done.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He spotted something else that Elara loved to look at and he smiled. “I ask because there is another way up to the top, it’s a bit of a free climb but it is, in my mind the best way up.” he stated.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia shrugged. It was a holodeck. Worst that would happen was she fell and a forcefield caught her. “Sure.” She waited for Tessan and then followed him.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor nodded, “It’s to hard of a climb,” he noted. As the moved to the bottom of the cliff face the 60 meter climbed seemed much higher than it was. There were plenty of good foot holds though and the climb, other than being high, seemed fairly straight forward. “Well no time like the present he said pulling himself up to start the ascent. “would you take the risk of a fee climb like this in the real world?” he asked wanting to change the subject a little.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia watched Tessan intently as he ascended. She watched where he placed his hands and feet, moving one thing at a time. She mirrored his movements, except she was shorter and so moved more slowly. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. “I’ve never done anything like this. I mean, I had the basic survival courses at the Academy, but I’ve never done any rock climbing. There’s all kinds of outdoor activities on Risa, but at most I hiked. I never did any climbing. I wasn’t super adventurous as a child. I wasn’t timid, but I never had a need for an adrenaline rush.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Computer, place belts with chalk bags on each of us.” he requested, moments later they materialized and the computer aknowladged. “Please feel free to take your time, it’s more of a slow dance, if you need to rest let me know and i’ll show you a little trick.” he noted placing his had on a hold and pulling himself up a little. He glanced down to check on her to see how she was doing.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia watched Tessan chalk his hands and then did the same. She kept climbing. She focused on copying Tessan’s movements, watching for where he placed his hands and feet. Dradvia had stamina and single minded focus. She wouldn’t stop if he didn’t. She wasn’t going to slow him down. Plus she was too busy concentrating on climbing safely to think about it.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Good Hold here” he called down as he let him self dangle from one arm holding himself to the side a little as he pointed at it and then slid his hand back into place. He knew she might miss it on her own as it was not an obvious one but made for an easier transition. He was obviously in good shape and very strong but he was also much taller and she would not be able to reach the longer holds, so he took smaller reaches. “You doing ok Ensign?” he asked

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“Yes, Sir,” Dradvia responded. She was, it was different and a challenge but she was alright. Though truthfully she wouldn’t say anything if she wasn’t. Don’t show weakness. It was okay to ask for help in sickbay. That was about her patients and their well-being. She would face the consequences of weak ess for them, but for herself, she wouldn’t ask for help. Well, most of the time. She was getting better at it. Even if the confrontation created anxiety and panic attacks she was getting better at speaking up for herself. It would always be a struggle though.

She continued to climb, finding the hold he pointed out as she reached it. Carefully, one step, one grip, at a time. She was too busy concentrating on the climb to engage in conversation. She assumed they would do more of that when they reached their destination.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

They worked there way up the cliff face with relative ease. It was not a challenging climb but certainly took focus. Upon reaching the top, Tealor lifted him self up, turned around and sat on the edge. He lowered a had to help pull her up and over. “It’s a great climb, helps clear the mind” he called down.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia pulled herself up, focusing too intently to notice the offered hand. She was fit, of course. Training required it, but she moved in a way that hid the scars and physical trauma Tessan knew was there. It had to hurt and her records showed it limited her stamina and flexibility. She had been in physical therapy for a long time after she was found.

She turned, sitting cross-legged a bit back from the edge. “Not dangerous really, but it allows the mind to focus on a single thing - not falling.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor smiled warmly at here “It does clear the mind that is for certain,” he said pausing looking the view, rainbows bounced in multiple directions as the light reflected through the layers of mist and trees below. It was breath taking, and it was certainly one of the places he and Elara had spend hours talking over their lives together, the dreams they had of their future. It was a memory that was fading as the years moved on.

“How are you settling on the ship?”

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine