Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in It’s Not Simple, No Matter What You Say

Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in It’s Not Simple, No Matter What You Say

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in It’s Not Simple, No Matter What You Say
Posted by… suppressed (31) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
“Oh.” Her voice sounded over loud and out of place in the room now. It startled Simon. Thinking to him was like the quietestwhisper. It was private. I’m sorry I make you uncomfortable. I don’t mean to. Her eyes were still closed as she brushed at her cheeks. You don’t have to say anything you know. I mean, I can’t stop how I feel or know how to stop you from feeling it, but I won’t mention it if you don’t.

Her head tipped to the side and her brow wrinkled. This is hard for you? It was half question half statement.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

I wouldn’t say hard exactly, but yeah, it takes effort. I’m projecting to you my thoughts and feelings. That’s an active task. Something I have to focus on. Sisnil explained.

~ Zoi

That made sense. She understood why Betazed was such a peaceful planet now. How this deep understanding of each other would lessen the amount of conflict.

This certainly wasn’t the way she had thought he would explain. She didn’t mind though, it was really wonderful. She understood Sisnil so much better now. She was also quite fascinated by it all. It was overwhelming, she had to concentrate to keep track of herself. She knew things about Sisnil now, but she didn’t really know how to identify them. It was also extremely intimate, but it didn’t frighten her. She recognized that and was surprised, curious, and delighted.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

It really was the only way to explain. How could words possibly describe it? She felt his own cautious affection for her, battling with fear and worry and concern for her. It would be obvious to her Sisnil liked her, really liked her, but worried what getting involved with him might do to her.

She could also tell despite the effort it took to do this, it helped his loneliness somewhat, the understanding between them something he had deeply missed. He could read thoughts, but the back and forth was what made it truly special.

~ Zoi

He liked her. He felt affection for her. Feeling and recognizing his emotions eased her own confusion about how she felt for him. It forced her to recognize and acknowledge her own swirling emotions. She liked him too, more than liked. She felt safe around him and the affection she felt was growing. There was even a hint of attraction. The loss of confusion only caused a loud, sharp terror and deep throbbing heartache. Her flight response was even stronger for him, shared like this.

She didn’t pull away though because she could also sense how much this helped him. She wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. He could feel her drawing in fragile threads of courage to stay. She couldn’t be cruel, ignore it, and let it continue. You can’t like me, Sisnil. I have nothing to give you. It felt like someone was slowly scrapping the dust of her heart out of her chest. She could wish it wasn’t true, but there were no fairy godmothers to grant them.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Her response made him feel like getting up and leaving. Thankfully he was more than used to separating himself from those around him. He wouldn’t have felt it at all if he didn’t have to leave his mental ‘walls’ down to do this for her. Dradvia felt his confusion. What do you feel like you have to give me?

~ Zoi

She was very uncomfortable. In the chair, she drew her feet up and wrapped her arms around her knees. It all swirled and raced through her mind. Each thing that came to mind was immediately followed and intimately connected to traumatic violent experiences. Friendship, affection… intimacy. She wasn’t meaning just physical. Trust. Not that I don’t, but I’m not capable of the kind you deserve. I’m not capable of the self-trust and the give and take the kind of affection you feel would naturally lead to. Never mind the fact she felt it too. Even if one day I could, you… even in her thoughts she had to pause, you’ll be gone, back with your family, by the time that might happen.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

You give me those all the time, Dee. Sisnil replied. I’m in your quarters, aren’t I? That’s trust, for one. Sharing this with me? Intimate. I can feel your affection. Treating me here when I hurt myself, friendship. He shook his head. We can keep selling ourselves that fairy tail, but the reality is, it’s unlikely I’m ever leaving.

~ Zoi

She shook her head. She didn’t know how to explain it to him. It was like… like feeling moisture in the air on your skin, but unable to drink and fill yourself up. Her emotions were like fuzzy reflections on a dirty mirror. Sisnil deserved more than that. He would need more than that if he was stuck here.

You don’t know that. We… we haven’t even tried yet. They will try to find you. It just might take awhile.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil shrugged. They’ll find me, I don’t doubt it. But of all the ways he pictured things going, almost all of them didn’t end well for him.

~ Zoi

Don’t worry over things that aren’t here yet. Isn’t that what you told me? They would deal with it when it happened. Until then all they could do was wait. We dock at Olian 6 in 3 days.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

There was a sense of amusement and gratitude. Yes, it is. He said. Are you going to try and send that message? He asked. There was tentative hope, but a need to not force her to do it.

~ Zoi

I am. I’m supposed to have a few hours where I can go down for some shore leave. As long as I get to go, I will send it. It was the very least she could do. To ease his and Noril’s worry for each other. I just need to know where to send it.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

I will give you that information that day. Telepathically, like this, when you’re sitting at the terminal. Sisnil said. As much as I want off this ship, I won’t go when we dock. He looked at her, It’s safest that way. For everyone.

~ Zoi

Can you do that? From the ship? That seemed difficult. She knew when she offered that she would go alone. Even if he was willing to go, she wasn’t sure Sisnil would be allowed off the ship.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

That is easier than this, Sisnil told her. Noril and I can sense each other over great distances.

~ Zoi

Dradvia was surprised. I didn’t know telepaths could sense that far. Then she lifted her head and looked at him. He’s very far away isn’t he? You can’t sense anything.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil nodded. He is. Probably still near Earth. When I was caught, they did something to me, made it so I couldn’t sense anything. Specifically so I couldn’t warn him.

~ Zoi

Dradvia had a sick feeling. What if Noril had been caught as well? She slammed that thought down. Sorry. She didn’t want him to worry more. They drugged you? She shook her head. There were telepathic inhibitors, but they were for Medical use, not for control of arrested individuals. No medication should ever be used without consent unless the situation was life threatening. That obviously hadn’t been the case. Unless carefully monitored and watched, such things could cause permanent damage. It was unconscienable.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled. Don’t worry about it. Believe me, I’ve considered it. But they’d have waved it in my face if they had. There was a sense of confirmation, as if he were nodding, but his head didn’t actually move. I wasn’t told exactly what I was on, but strong telepathic inhibitors for sure and judging by how I felt probably mild sedatives at the least. I was also held in essentially a faraday cage.... Which I guess is a compliment.

~ Zoi

Dradvia did shake her head, but there was a kind of resigned amusement. Only you would be flattered by your jail cell. She saw why he saw it as a compliment, but still.

She shook her head again, I don’t know anything about telepathic Faraday cages. I’ve never heard of such a thing. Lokhar used to drug Kryssa with something. I never found out what. It wasn’t an inhibitor though. It made her telepathy stronger, made it so she couldn’t ignore or block it. She shied away from the memories. But there was enough of a glimpse for Sisnil to know what had happened.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil shuddered. Yeah. I’ve… I have experience with those. He shook his head, Not for my telepathy, the drugs took care of that. For electronics. It means no signal could come or go from where I was held.

~ Zoi

Dradvia shuddered when he did. I’m sorry you had to experience that.

That made more sense. It was hard following along. Even though he was ‘telling’ her specific things, she was still getting the rest. She couldn’t always match everything up right. I mean why a Faraday cage though? Just use old fashioned locks and buildings without all the tech. That would be far easier. Well, as long as you can’t pick a lock.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil chuckled. Picking locks is easy. Most things they can come up with I could escape, given long enough, and should I get my hands on anything electronic I could release the entire prison. Yeah, they think I’m worth that level of security.

~ Zoi

This is that whole ‘I’m the best pirate ever’ thing again, isn’t it? Her thoughts, at the moment, were light and teasing. But what would you do if there were no electronics? Huh? You’d be stuck.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil grinned, there was amusement again. You’ve seen me do my training programs. How stuck was I?

~ Zoi

Not at all, but you were never without that PaDD, and you could do anything from that. I was watching. Take that PaDD away and you wouldn’t be so impressive. She adored his grin, seeing him relax just a bit, even if it wouldn’t stay.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Fine, next time you watch me train, there will be no PaDDs. Sisnil said, shaking his head. Finally, his emotions faded, no longer sensed by Dradvia. His voice in her head though, she could still here. Sorry… I’m getting too tired to keep it up.

~ Zoi

He was suddenly gone. Dradvia was alone again. It was like taking an extremely deep breath after exercising. But it was still lonely. Immediately she was certain she had made him mad, offended him. The apology was already forming in her head. She had only been teasing, she didn’t mean to hurt him. Couldn’t he see this was what she meant? She had nothing to give him, nothing positive to share with him. Sharp slicing pain radiated from her chest down her arms. She didn’t mean to make him mad. Please don’t be mad, she didn’t mean it, she didn’t.

He was tired? “It’s alright. Thank you… for showing me.” It was a bright experience. She’d never for get it.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

I’m not upset, promise. Sisnil said to her. He looked tired if she really looked at him. “You’re welcome. I.... Well, it was nice.”

~ Zoi

“I’m glad.” He had seemed to feel better, but maybe that was just wishful thinking. She did look at him. “You should get some sleep. I’ve interrupted your rest enough for a month.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“No, that really did help,” Sisnil said. “It did.” He shook his head. “I’m alright. I don’t mind, really. I’d rather be here for you.”

~ Zoi

She really didn’t understand why, except that … well maybe she did. She didn’t judge or act better than him. She understood lonliness and didn’t mind just sitting with him. He didn’t have to pretend with her, unless he wanted. “Okay. You can’t be comfortable on the floor though.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I’ve slept on worse.” Not really. This was the most uncomfortable carpet he’d ever encountered. He might as well be laying on bare metal. “Maybe I can find a cot or something at some point.”

~ Zoi

She rolled her eyes but it hid her apprehension. Cot or not, that wasn’t something she felt she could handle. “Sisnil, you have a bed. And dirt is more comfortable than these floors. Don’t be macho over the floor.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Dirt.... Well, it actually is more comfortable than this crap,” Sisnil replied. “I have a boring, lonely bed. That’s worse than the floor.”

~ Zoi

What? No, no, nope, No no. She couldn’t help him with that. What…? Why? No, her brain couldn’t even process that comment without hyperventilating.

“You uh could use some replicator rations for new sheets?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil was confused for a moment. Then realized she thought he meant his bed was worse than the floor due to quality. “No, that’s not… I don’t need sheets.” He looked at her and smiled, “C’mon, Dee, you were ready to let me stay here when I broke my ankle. Do I need to break something?”

~ Zoi