Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in It’s Not Simple, No Matter What You Say

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in It’s Not Simple, No Matter What You Say

Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in It’s Not Simple, No Matter What You Say
Posted by… suppressed (4) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
“Oh.” Her voice sounded over loud and out of place in the room now. It startled Simon. Thinking to him was like the quietestwhisper. It was private. I’m sorry I make you uncomfortable. I don’t mean to. Her eyes were still closed as she brushed at her cheeks. You don’t have to say anything you know. I mean, I can’t stop how I feel or know how to stop you from feeling it, but I won’t mention it if you don’t.

Her head tipped to the side and her brow wrinkled. This is hard for you? It was half question half statement.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

I wouldn’t say hard exactly, but yeah, it takes effort. I’m projecting to you my thoughts and feelings. That’s an active task. Something I have to focus on. Sisnil explained.

~ Zoi

That made sense. She understood why Betazed was such a peaceful planet now. How this deep understanding of each other would lessen the amount of conflict.

This certainly wasn’t the way she had thought he would explain. She didn’t mind though, it was really wonderful. She understood Sisnil so much better now. She was also quite fascinated by it all. It was overwhelming, she had to concentrate to keep track of herself. She knew things about Sisnil now, but she didn’t really know how to identify them. It was also extremely intimate, but it didn’t frighten her. She recognized that and was surprised, curious, and delighted.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

It really was the only way to explain. How could words possibly describe it? She felt his own cautious affection for her, battling with fear and worry and concern for her. It would be obvious to her Sisnil liked her, really liked her, but worried what getting involved with him might do to her.

She could also tell despite the effort it took to do this, it helped his loneliness somewhat, the understanding between them something he had deeply missed. He could read thoughts, but the back and forth was what made it truly special.

~ Zoi

He liked her. He felt affection for her. Feeling and recognizing his emotions eased her own confusion about how she felt for him. It forced her to recognize and acknowledge her own swirling emotions. She liked him too, more than liked. She felt safe around him and the affection she felt was growing. There was even a hint of attraction. The loss of confusion only caused a loud, sharp terror and deep throbbing heartache. Her flight response was even stronger for him, shared like this.

She didn’t pull away though because she could also sense how much this helped him. She wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. He could feel her drawing in fragile threads of courage to stay. She couldn’t be cruel, ignore it, and let it continue. You can’t like me, Sisnil. I have nothing to give you. It felt like someone was slowly scrapping the dust of her heart out of her chest. She could wish it wasn’t true, but there were no fairy godmothers to grant them.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Her response made him feel like getting up and leaving. Thankfully he was more than used to separating himself from those around him. He wouldn’t have felt it at all if he didn’t have to leave his mental ‘walls’ down to do this for her. Dradvia felt his confusion. What do you feel like you have to give me?

~ Zoi

She was very uncomfortable. In the chair, she drew her feet up and wrapped her arms around her knees. It all swirled and raced through her mind. Each thing that came to mind was immediately followed and intimately connected to traumatic violent experiences. Friendship, affection… intimacy. She wasn’t meaning just physical. Trust. Not that I don’t, but I’m not capable of the kind you deserve. I’m not capable of the self-trust and the give and take the kind of affection you feel would naturally lead to. Never mind the fact she felt it too. Even if one day I could, you… even in her thoughts she had to pause, you’ll be gone, back with your family, by the time that might happen.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

You give me those all the time, Dee. Sisnil replied. I’m in your quarters, aren’t I? That’s trust, for one. Sharing this with me? Intimate. I can feel your affection. Treating me here when I hurt myself, friendship. He shook his head. We can keep selling ourselves that fairy tail, but the reality is, it’s unlikely I’m ever leaving.

~ Zoi

She shook her head. She didn’t know how to explain it to him. It was like… like feeling moisture in the air on your skin, but unable to drink and fill yourself up. Her emotions were like fuzzy reflections on a dirty mirror. Sisnil deserved more than that. He would need more than that if he was stuck here.

You don’t know that. We… we haven’t even tried yet. They will try to find you. It just might take awhile.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil shrugged. They’ll find me, I don’t doubt it. But of all the ways he pictured things going, almost all of them didn’t end well for him.

~ Zoi

Don’t worry over things that aren’t here yet. Isn’t that what you told me? They would deal with it when it happened. Until then all they could do was wait. We dock at Olian 6 in 3 days.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer