Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in It’s Not Simple, No Matter What You Say

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in It’s Not Simple, No Matter What You Say

Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in It’s Not Simple, No Matter What You Say
Posted by… suppressed (33) by the Post Ghost! 👻
Dradvia hadn’t seen Sisnil the last day. She wasn’t exactly avoiding him, but she was too upset by her own feelings to deal with them. There was no one to talk to about it, and that made her miss Kryssa all the more. She could tell Kryssa anything, and know she would listen and still accept her. Dradvia was too timid around strangers now to make much of an effort to get to know anyone. She was NOT comfortable discussing this with Dr. Tessan at all.

Sisnil hadn’t been waiting for her during her break or after her shift. He was probably with Simon. The kitten needed watching, and Sisnil had a companion now. She told herself she was relieved and also making something out of nothing, but she was still sad. She checked the holosuite. It was empty and so she ran the garden program. She found a small secluded grove of trees and sat. Soon Umbra found her and curled up in her lap. Dradvia leaned her head against a tree and absently pet the holographic cat while she watched a storm blow across the program.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil entered the holodeck, cradling a harnessed Simon. He had meant to test his cat playground, but apparently someone else was using the place unscheduled. He checked the name. “Oh. Dee?” He said, raising his voice so she’d hear him. “You in here?”

~ Zoi

Umbra sat up and meowed loudly. Dradvia lifted her head and looked around. Then she heard him. She swore at her stupid heart that started racing with happiness and her stomach the flipped and flopped at the sound of his voice. He had come looking for her. She stood up and Umbra jumped out of her arms and toward the cooking house. “Sisnil? Over here,” she said as she emerged from the trees.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil set Simon down, who ran over to Dradvia and rubbed against her leg. He headed over to her and smiled. “I’m glad you’re using this.” He said.

~ Zoi

Dradvia smiled and bent down and swept Simon up into her arms. Was he why Umbra ran off? She was holographic, would another animal really bother her? “Hello baby. Did your Daddy let you out?” She nuzzled his fur as Sisnil walked up. “I like it here. No one else was using the holosuite, so…” she shrugged. She had been looking for him, when she didn’t find him she decided she would cuddle with Umbra instead.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“You were looking for me?” The thought was quiet, not intended for him, but he heard it all the same. It made him smile, though. “Well, glad I came by then.” He gestured to Simon, “I’m getting him used to being in his harness and being out around the ship.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia shrugged and put Simon down. “I hadn’t seen you in a few days. I… I was just wondering how you were doing.” He hadn’t been looking for her. She slammed the disappointment away, she hoped before he felt it. She kept her eyes in the kitten, “How is he adjusting?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“He seems to like it alright. Likes it a lot more when I take him with me.” Sisnil smiled. “Your wondering is.. nice.” He pointed to Simon, “I finished his playground! I want to see how he likes it. But I don’t wanna disturb you either, so I’ll wait till you’re done.”

~ Zoi

“Oh no, go ahead. I wasn’t really doing anything.” Mostly she was just hiding from an empty room and visiting Umbra. The cat had run off anyway. She wouldn’t want to hurt Simon by giving attention to a fake cat anyway. At least not while he could see. He wouldn’t understand.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil changed the program. It turned into a jungle with trees and vines, things to chase and crawl through and climb, all built with Simon’s safety in mind. There were other animals, to get him used to the sights and sounds of other animals.

~ Zoi

Dradvia looked around, turning in place. She was sure Simon was going to love it. Everything a cat could want, she was sure. Not that she knew what that might be. She didn’t like it though. Too enclosed, too many places for someone to hide and drag you away unnoticed. Not enough clear exits, and it also felt very isolated, too far away from the safety of a crowd.

She let it all go with a breath. This was the holodeck, escape was simply an uttered word away. Besides the program wasn’t for her, it was for Simon, and he already seemed to be enjoying the different sounds and smells. Or at least was very curious. He was fun to watch, it was a simple joy.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil stood behind Dradvia, close, but careful. He was just behind her - close enough to catch the soft scent of a men’s cologne. “I’ve got your back, Dee. No need to feel so exposed, not with me here,” he said softly, gently. “Let yourself relax. Watch Simon hunt and play.”

~ Zoi

When was the last time anyone stood that close behind her? And not used it to hurt her? Dradvia couldn’t remember. He wanted her to trust him, to feel safe, to chose to relax with him. It wasn’t that simple. She wasn’t afraid of him. He would not harm her. At the same time he terrified her. He could shatter her with very little effort. He voice was almost hypnotic. Like he was leading her through a meditation exercise. Her eyes strayed to Simon as he explored.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil could. But he wouldn’t. “You’ll always be safe when I’m around.” He said softly. He wasn’t manipulating her emotions. He wanted her to calm on her own, not to feel like he was trying to fool her somehow.

~ Zoi

She wasn’t nervous or anxious, she was just incredibly vulnerable, confused, and sad. Dradvia only nodded silently. She believed that. It didn’t matter that it was true. Even if it wasn’t, she needed to believe she was safe with him. Wasn’t that pathetic? Not that it mattered. Sisnil wouldn’t be staying. He was going back to his twin and his crew. In the end she had only herself, and whatever safety there was, was illusion.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil watched Simon as the kitten went up to Dradvia and rubbed against her leg. “Look, he wants attention from you.”

~ Zoi

He was close enough she could feel his body heat, the warmth of his words on the nap of her neck, and the smell of the jungle erased by the scent of his cologne. The longing to simply lean back against him made her chest ache with pain. A simple movement that really wasn’t simple at all.

Her head tilted down as his words gave her something else to think about. She knelt, carefully, and scratched Simon about the ears. “Don’t you want to explore?” He gave a pitiful mewl and she pet him again.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil sat on the ground, leaned against a tree. “There’s holographic bugs, but they’re programmed to never land or crawl on you.” He commented, grinning.

~ Zoi

She wasn’t avoiding sitting to stay away from bugs. It was a defensive thing. It was easier to get up and run if you were still on your feet. She was certain Sisnil knew that, and why he said what he did. Dradvia scratched Simon’s chin gently. “If the bugs won’t land, then how are you supposed to investigate, huh?” She knew she was exaggerating the point Sisnil was making. She was doing it on purpose. “Bugs are fascinating and beautiful, but can be dangerous. You don’t have to worry about that here,” she told the tiny kitten. She did sit, but she moved so she could see him out of her peripheral vision. She just couldn’t bring herself to look directly at him. She didn’t know why, but she had this deep seated instinct not too. Right now she felt calmer giving into that instinct.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

That didn’t bother Sisnil. “Well, see, they’ll land on him, I just don’t like them on me.” He said. Simon wandered off, his attention caught by something.

~ Zoi

She could understand not liking bugs. Dradvia hated to be dirty. She always had, even as a child. But bugs didn’t mean filth or bacteria, though they could. They never particularly bothered her. Of course Risa cultivated the type of insects on the planet. They didn’t want anything to ruin the tourists vacations. Her eyes followed Simon like magnets. Watching him hunt and play. The way he ran back to Sisnil when he got startled and then set out again. She liked watching the way Sisnil was with Simon, and the way the cat seemed to be so full of wonder about the world around itself. Everything was new and exciting.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Simon seemed to help Sisnil relax a little. Though if Dradvia were paying attention, she’d notice he was always, always aware of his surroundings. Surveying for threats. He pet Simon gently each time the kitten came and checked in with him. He was quiet for a while, just watching Simon play and enjoy his holoprogram.

~ Zoi

Dradvia was just as quiet, watching the cat, silently cheering him on every time he tried something. She didn’t really notice how alert Sisnil was. More to the point, Dradvia was hyper aware of everything, and it didn’t strike her as different in Sisnil. She was nowhere near as dangerous as Sisnil, but she was just as aware. The jungle made her uneasy, even though she knew it was holographic. It was a good exercise for herself, she supposed, to stay in a place that felt unsafe and force herself to be calm and rational because her mind knew it was when her instincts said otherwise.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil leaned back against the tree and watched Simon play. “It seems like he likes it. That’s good. I felt a little bad keeping him in my room when he tried to climb the wall.”

~ Zoi

She watched as Simon tried to climb the trunk of a tree. “He does seem to want to climb. Maybe he needs something tree like in your quarters.” She watched as he lost his grip and fell as he tried to catch a bug. Dradvia winced as he landed hard on his feet. She wanted to scoop him up and cuddle him until he was okay. “Maybe a holographic projector of a flying bug?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil nodded, “I’m sure I can arrange that.” He said. Then he smiled, “Good idea, Dee.”

~ Zoi

She shrugged, “All children, all babies are the same I guess. They want to play and explore. If you don’t give them safe things, they get into mischief.” She’d spent a lot of time around the babies at the orphanage. All the older kids did, trying to give what they hadn’t had.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I guess.” Sisnil and Noril hadn’t gone to an actual orphanage. He’d never spent time around younger children. “I want him to be happy. I.... I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t have brought a cat on board.” It was first time pet owner remorse, common, but hitting Sisnil a bit hard due to his other anxieties.

~ Zoi

“Don’t start that, Sisnil,” she said, glancing fully at him for a moment before looking back at the cat. “He’s already attached to you. He’s curious, active, and happy.” She chanced another glance at him quickly, “and you’re happy too. You did bring him here, so now you are committed to keeping him. You can’t dwell on what ifs. He’s wonderful. Please don’t regret it.” She sounded wistful and … something else. Almost sad, but not quite.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil chuckled through his nose and smiled. “You’re right. I know, I know, you’re right.” He wasn’t going to say he was a worrier… But he was.

~ Zoi

“It is a big responsibility, that caring of another’s life. You can’t go back on it.” She was quiet. Dradvia always was, but there was a seriousness, almost fierceness, that creeped into her voice. This was a sensitive subject to her - the willy-nilly abandonment of the young and innocent. There was no hint of accusation in her emotions and thoughts. It never crossed her mind that Sisnil would do that, but people did and it bothered her deeply.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I know.” There was a similar seriousness, that in his voice, with his demeanor came across dark and brooding. “I have the responsibility of a life on my conscience already.”

~ Zoi

It wasn’t his fault really. Dradvia was just timid and uneasy around dark, brooding, and intimidating. She wrapped her arms around herself in a defensive gesture that she wasn’t even aware of. She immediately thought of Noril. “I know you do,” she said earnestly, scared she’d offended him or done something to upset him. She wasn’t usually so vocal about her opinions. She had to stop, there was no way to know what would set people off and what wouldn’t. “You’ll get back to Noril. I know you will,” she said in barely a whisper. She had to believe that, she needed to believe he would get back to his family.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil looked at her and moved closer. “‘S alright, Dee. I’m not upset.” He sighed softly, “Noril, yes… But also Vash. I don’t consider her… You know, property. But she is my responsibility. They both are.”

~ Zoi

Whether from long instinct to protect her personal space, or from fighting her reaction to lean into him, her posture stiffened. It was hard for Dradvia to know which was the reason.

“I thought you said she was given to both you and Noril?” Dradvia knew he didn’t think of Vash as property, but Dradvia also knew what happened to a slave whose master went missing. “Noril will take care of her. You said there was more between them.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil nodded. “He will. I have full confidence in him.” But he shouldn’t have to. Sisnil should be there. “A slave can’t have two owners, Dee. It’s like…” He felt gross saying this, but, “owning a pet. Ugh, that sounds terrible. But anyway, we both ‘own’ her, the same as we both own that ship,” again, ugh, he hated having to talk about Vash like a new ATV in the garage. “but, everything goes in my name. It’s another little security precaution I took to protect Noril.”

~ Zoi

She wanted so badly to comfort him. All she could manage was to briefly brush his arm with her finger tips. Even that was hard today. “It is terrible, but you don’t need to explain. I know.” She stared off through the trees, memories intruding as well as fear for Vash. Sisnil couldn’t protect her if he was gone.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer