Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in You Have To Trust Someone Eventaully

Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in You Have To Trust Someone Eventaully

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in You Have To Trust Someone Eventaully
Posted by… suppressed (61) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
“Then stop giving advice that sounds like you are,” she said softly without any seriousness. Then she looked torn. “Sisnil, I don’t want to leave you alone,” wow that was a loaded statement. “But I think I’m ready to call it a day.” It had started so well, but then it all went sideways. Now, now, after spending time with Sisnil, she was relaxed and tired.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil patted her gently on the back. “Then go to bed. I’ll use your fancy sleep maker and get some sleep myself. Okay?”

~ Zoi

She flushed and wasn’t sure why. “Okay.” She stood up and waited awkwardly for a moment. She was a big girl she could walk by herself. “Good night, Sisnil.” She left the lounge and went straight back to her quarters. She hurried, afraid of another surprise encounter. She stopped around the bend from her quarters and watched a moment, to make sure no one was waiting for her. She told herself she was being ridiculous, she was safe, but she waited anyway. Then she hurried into her quarters and locked the door.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil headed up a few moments later. He told Dradvia he’d sleep, but.... Instead he took a long shower, dressed in something comfortable but functional (something he could sleep in, but was prepared if something happened), and sat down at the desk in the space to work. It was past midnight when he lay down to try to sleep.

~ Zoi

Dradvia had changed into long cotton pajama pants and a short sleeve t-shirt. She crawled into her bed and closed her eyes. Sleep was slow to arrive, despite her exhaustion. Her mind played over every detail that had happened to her again.

As she dosed off her reflection of the day, turned into flashes of made up memories. She was on a ship on the holodeck, except it was real. Sisnil was there. Two of him… Sisnil introduced her to Noril and Vash. She was nervous and clung to Sisnil’s arm. He put his arm around her, pulling her close. Dradvia leaned against him, warm and safe. In love with him. “I told you, Dee, I couldn’t come back without you. I want you here.” Sisnil held her hand as she followed him through the ship. They were going to have a life together. She was going to have Sisnil and a family.

She was yanked back suddenly. So forcefully her arm popped out of socket. She cried out as she was tugged like a rope between them. Sisnil was suddenly larger than life. “Let her go Stevens. There is no Star Fleet to protect you now.”

“I can’t do that Zoi. She is a runaway. My runaway. You will be rewarded handsomely for her return.” Dradvia looked up, confused. It wasn’t Stevens. It was Lokhar, back from the dead. Lokhar sneered at her, tugging her back by her hair. “I’m so glad to have you back Dradvia. I will enjoy reminding you how you should behave.”

“SISNIL! SISNIL HELP. HELP ME!” She tried to scream but it wouldn’t come out. No matter how hard she tried, she remained silent. He was saying something, but she couldn’t hear him as Lokhar dragged her away. The last thing she saw was Sisnil standing beside Noril and Vash, being welcomed home. The hatch closed, and the pain started immediately.

She screamed and screamed and screamed.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil was just barely starting to fall asleep. Then came a feeling of intense fear, enveloping him. Dee. He sat up for a moment, eyes closed. It was her. Her nightmare flashed before his eyes, telepathically. He heard her screams.

In a moment he was up and in her room. It was only a quick moment to break through the door lock’s encryption. Then he was in her room by her bed, gently shaking her. “Dee, wake up. Dee!” He said softly. It’s okay, I’m here. He said it telepathically, unsure if she’d even be able to hear him. He calmed himself, and then extended that calm to her. “Come on, Dee, I’m here. I came for you.”

~ Zoi

The gentle shake was like a Klingon pain stick. Transmutting into her nightmare as torturous pain. Her body arched in pain and a whimper of agony escaped. She was tangled in the blanket. Her shirt and pant legs twisted around her. She was covered in a cold sweat and her heart punded hard enough to be felt.

She begged Lokhar to stop, pleaded, and screamed as it continued. It only came out in gasps. True terror studded her heart beat as Lokhar turned from the stunningly handsome Orion he had been to a walking decaying corpse. Then he started his favorite ‘consequence’. Dradvia whimpered and begged him to stop. She cried it out loud in her sleep.

The night terror was too real, too embedded in memory, for his gentle calm to soothe her quickly.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

That didn’t stop him from trying, keeping his calm extended to her. Bits and pieces of her nightmare appeared in his mind. One of them had him crawling up onto her bed, detangling her from her bedding, and cradling her. “Dee, you’re okay. I’ve got you. He’ll never touch you again.”

~ Zoi

She calmed for a moment once she was free. It even seemed that maybe she was calming, as he cradled her. His words didn’t quite reach her, but she recognized his voice. She shifted to curl into his chest.

And began to thrash and fight as her mind registered she was being held. It reasoned she was trapped and her nightmare was real. She came awake all at once. She pounding her small fists against his chest, bruising them, but not him.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He held still and let her punch and trash, trying to make sure she didn’t hurt herself. “Dee, it’s me. I’m here with you. You’re okay.”

~ Zoi

She stopped suddenly. Dee? Tears clung to her lashes, pooled in her eyes, and streaked her cheeks as she looked up at him. Sisnil. She was absolutely still for 2 rapid heart beats. Then she was pressed tightly against his chest, fists bunched in his shirt, her racking sobs muffled against his chest.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil held her and let her cry, still using his ability to help calm her. He set his arms gently around her. “You okay, Dee?”

~ Zoi

She seemed to bury herself against him. Trying to hide inside him. She was clinging to him, afraid to let go, afraid to look up, afraid to answer. She was afraid of breaking the spell, the illusion that she was safe and cared for. She shook her head against him. No. She wasn’t okay.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He sat still with her. “I hope you don’t mind my coming in here. I… I heard and saw what you did. Telepathically,” he said softly. “Sorry.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia was ashamed, embarrassed, and humiliated that he was seeing her like this, saw and heard her nightmares. But she wasn’t upset he was there. She hated that she had disturbed his sleep. He wasn’t sleeping enough as it was. She didn’t want him to go. The night terror had left her rattled, edgy, and jumpy. Frightened and scared, but at that very moment, with Sisnil, she felt safe and not so lonely. She wasn’t afraid of being held, just comforted.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He stayed with her quietly, just letting her calm down. “Do you want me to stay the rest of the night?” He asked after several quiet minutes. “I can sleep on the floor next to your bed.”

~ Zoi

She did. She didn’t want to be alone, but she couldn’t. She shouldn’t. His calm soothed her, made it easier to think, but the decision was no easier. She couldn’t speak through the threatening sops anyway. Not yet. Her emotions betrayed her fear, though, as she curled tighter against him, refusing to let go. After long stretches of aching silence and emotional shudders…

“Don’t go…” she whispered quietly.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Okay,” Sisnil said softly. “I’m not going anywhere.” He stayed with her on the bed, letting her cuddle into him. He closed his eyes and leaned against the bed’s headboard as he held her. “Take your time.” He said, trying not to yawn.

~ Zoi

“Okay,” she whispered into the darkness. She didn’t move for hours. The only sound she made was to breath and the occasional hiccup or sniffle. She was afraid to fall asleep again. The only way to hide from her dreams was to stay awake. She tried not to doze off but she did off and on through the rest of the night.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil wanted to sleep. He really did. But each time he began to doze off, a wave of her fear, her sadness, or simply her moving around, woke him up. In the end, he didn’t get more than an hour of sleep that night. He didn’t end up moving to the floor, either. Dradvia never asked him to go. So as morning came, he lay quietly, waiting for her to need to get up.

~ Zoi

Dradvia didn’t get much more than two hours herself in multiple small spurts. She didn’t want to go on duty. She didn’t want to face people. She didn’t want to talk to Tessan about it. She didn’t think she had the energy to hide it. And she was too exhausted to work safely. That would require her to tell Tessan and explain.

She didn’t want to wake him when she moved. She didn’t want to move. She wanted to fall asleep like that, and wake up safe beside him.

Why had she asked him to say? What had come over her? Why was she so confused? Why was she still so terrified of Lokhar finding her? He was dead.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil hugged her gently. “If you can’t work safely, you shouldn’t work. Your job matters. You could hurt someone,” he said softly. “Tessan will understand. He doesn’t use his telepathy. Doesn’t like to.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia knew that. Tessan had told her the same thing. “He’ll make me talk. I don’t want to talk, Sisnil. I don’t want to remember anymore. I want to sleep and not dream.” She sounded lost and forlorn. “I want to live one day without the trauma. Just one day to be normal.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Even the best therapy in the world wouldn’t erase it from you. Not even if you wiped all your memories would be be entirely gone,” Sisnil said softly. “There is a short term Vulcan tactic I’ve heard of… But like I said, it’s short term. Doesn’t last.” He sighed softly. “You need to go tell him.”

~ Zoi

“I know.” She wanted to beg him not to make her go. To let her stay there just a moment longer. But already her skin felt too tight, her muscles tight, twitchy, ready to run the moment she had a chance.

As she gave in and started to move, she realized how close, how tight, how intimate they were as he had cradled her all night. She was unsure how to move, how to get up without wishing she didn’t have to, without giving away how much she needed to stay there like that. It had been so long since she had been able to accept comfort, and even longer since it had been offered.

She moved away shyly and stood, turning away as the cool air stole his warmth from her and she started to cry again.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil stayed where he was for a moment and then stood and stretched. He patted her shoulder gently. “I wish I could do it for you, but I can’t. It’s your work. Your Starfleet.”

~ Zoi

She wiped her face before she turned to look at him. It was a struggle to hide her despair, replace the non reactive mask, but she did. He would still feel the internal turmoil, but at least it didn’t show. “Thank you for not leaving me alone, Sisnil. You should get some rest.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be alright.” He said gently. “Go. Comm me if you need me. I’ve got something I need to do today.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia nodded, “Okay.” She grabbed her things and headed to the shared bathroom for a shower. She wouldn’t call him. She was too embarrassed and full of shame. What would she say? ‘Oh, hey Sisnil, I’m still scared and anxious and I can never feel anything for you, even though I do, but will you sit with me and my conflicting emotions and daydreams that I can’t acknowledge or do anything about?’

No, she would not be doing that. She also didn’t take her shift off. She ate a light meal and downed caffeine with a little coffee. It was quiet that early in the morning so she stayed busy cleaning and sanitizing. It was all automated, but a good hand scrubbing was never bad.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil went back to his own quarters and spent some time setting up. Then he went down to the cargo loading bay. Today was shipment day and he had something to pick up. Twenty minutes later, he headed back up to his quarters. Around noon, he commed Dradvia. “Dee, I’ve got something to show you. Come to my quarters.”

~ Zoi

Shr was past exhausted. She’d passed a second burst of energy about an hour before. She was day dreaming of falling into bed when the call came in. =/\=My shift is almost over.=/\= After what he did for her last night, she wouldn’t put him off.

Half an hour later she pressed the chime on his door.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“You’re supposed to not be working.” Sisnil scolded her, but said nothing else. When she pressed the chime, it took him a moment to answer.

She felt a warm shiver raced up her spine and settle in her chest. When was the last time someone worried about her? Too long. Work kept her mind off of everything. She would have just panicked alone in her room.

Then the door opened, and Sisnil stood in the doorway with something in his arms. Something tucked into his elbow. Something that looked up at her with green eyes and made a high pitched noise. Mew?

~ Zoi

She looked curiously at him when he opened the door. Then Dradvia’s eyes landed on the cat. A cat! “Oh! Oh, where… where did you find a cat? It’s gorgeous.” She reached out and scratched the cat around the ears. “Hello,” she whispered in awe at the feline.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

The kitten tried to smell her fingers and then mewed softly. He was grey with black spots, and he looked eight or nine weeks old. “Took some looking but I found someone who works with them in this region of space.” Sisnil said. He rubbed the cat’s body with his hand gently. “He arrived today. His name’s Simon.”

~ Zoi

“Oh, Sisnil, he’s adorable.” He looked like Umbra, just smaller. Watching Sisnil cradle the tiny baby did funny things to her stomach.

She let Simon sniff her fingers and then pet him some more. “Aren’t you handsome, Simon.” She grinned and looked up at Sisnil. “You finally got a cat.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil grinned. “I did.” He waved her inside and set the cat down. Simon started wandering around the small space. There was a food and water bowl on a small mess matt, a litter pan, and some toys. “He’s curious about you,” Sisnil reported. “You should sit down, let him come to you.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia hesitated at the door. She felt frozen, old fears keeping her from going in the room. She’d been there twice, nothing had happened.

Simon settled it for her though. Sisnil put him down and she had to step inside so the doors would shut. She stood just inside the door awkwardly watching the cat. She was envious, but thrilled for Sisnil. She knew how much he wanted a cat.

She moved out of the way of the door and sat, on the floor, with her back to the wall. Just like with Umbra she watched the kitten with fascination.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil sat down too. Simon checked in with him, and then went over to Dradvia and sniffed her. Then rubbed against her. “He wants pet.” Sisnil said.

~ Zoi

Dradvia stretched out her fingers and let Simon sniff. His long whiskers shook with each rapid tiny breath. Then he rubbed his face against her fingers. She grinned, enthralled with the cat, and pet his head and back, and then scratched his ears and around his neck. She murmured to him in a language the computer didn’t quite catch at first. Risian, her native language. “.... o handsome. Yes just a baby, you want to be loved.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled. “He likes you.” He said softly. He tossed a cat toy, a fake mouse, towards her. “He has a lot of energy. Play with him.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia fumbled catching it. She flinched away from the toy because she was startled by the sudden fast moving object being hurled at her.

Simon pounced on the mouse before Dradvia could pick it up. It was almost as big as Simon’s head, but he was determined to carry it off.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“He’s something called a Bengal. He’s small now, but he’ll grow to be big for a cat.” Sisnil said. “Also means he’ll need his energy spent.” It would be good for him, give him something constructive to do with his time.

~ Zoi

Dradvia took the toy and waved it about, pulled it back and forth against the carpet in front of Simon. She glanced around the room. It wasn’t big. “How fast do they grow?”

Simon pounced and missed, tumbled over himself and lept up and swatted at the offending toy.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“He’ll be full grown in two years.” Sisnil said with a shrug. “But they grow a lot of that in their first few months. I figure if I train him no one will mind him coming out with me, supervised.” Yes, Morris had said ‘keep it in your quarters,’ and yes, Sisnil fully intended to ignore him.

~ Zoi

Would Sisnil and Simon still be here in a few months? She tugged the toy away again and shook it. “Maybe you could program a cat playground in the holodeck.”

Simon chose that moment to try and bite the toy and use his claws to grab it. “Ow!” Dradvia squeaked. She tossed the toy and rubbed her hand. “Like needles.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil grinned. “Careful. You can teach cats to play carefully.” He said. “And yeah, that’s a good idea.” His telepathic ears picked up her question and made him frown. “Dee, even if I do ever get away.... I don’t think it’ll be in a few months.”

~ Zoi

“Eventually though,” she smiled, wanting to encourage him. “A cargo ship would be more fun for Simon to explore.” She gently pushed the cat over and dangled the toy above his face.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He swatted at it playfully and then lept up and tried to bite the toy. Succeeding in getting it, he gave it a hard tug.

Dradvia rewarded him by letting the toy go. He rolled, jumped up, and carried it over to Sisnil to show off his prize.

Sisnil smiled. “Thanks, Dee.” He looked at her with a conflicted expression. “It’s odd - of course I want to go back, but at the same time, I really don’t want to leave you.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia felt hot and cold all at once. Her stomach churned, and she gave that awkward shrug. “You have to go back, Sisnil. You belong with your family, with Noril and Vash and the rest of your crew.” She was just a temporary bandaid until he could heal. To help keep the loneliness away until he could get back.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“You belong with a trustworthy family, too.” Sisnil said softly, as he took the toy from the kitten and began to play with him. “Let’s just not worry about that right now.” She was, after all, part of the reason he went ahead and got a cat.

~ Zoi

Dradvia gave that unco.fortable shrug again. She had acceptrd a long time ago she would never have a family. “Okay.” She watched him play with the kitten. “What will you do with him when you can’t be here? You know when they have you running pointless errands.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“He’ll be alright on his own as long as I’m not gone for more than a day. Once I’ve got him trained though…” Sisnil grinned micheivously. “I’ve got plans for my boy.” He said.

~ Zoi

She laughed softly, almost a giggle, from the look on his face. “What are you up to Cap’n?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Shoulder cat.” Sisnil said. “You can train Bengals to do almost anything. He’ll ride on me around the ship. I get my cat, Morris gets his clear halls.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia looked at him and then at the tiny kitten, “What?” She wasn’t quite following. Maybe she was tired. Morris was going to carry the cat around?

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“No, Dee, I’m going to carry him around.” Sisnil said and laughed. “Morris said he couldn’t be in the way.”

~ Zoi

“Oh!” That made more sense. “Hopefully he stays with you and doesn’t start wandering the Jeffries tubes.” Dradvia smiled and reached over to scratch Simon, who rolled over and attacked her hand.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil grinned. “If he does, some engineers will get a surprise.” He said. He tossed a toy at Simon. “That’s for attacking. Not hands.”

~ Zoi

Simon rolled and pounced after the toy with such abandon and intense purpose it elicited a delighted laugh from Dradvia. “Why Simon?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Name of a crewmate from years back,” Sisnil said without explaining further. He took the toy and tossed it high in the air - and Simon lept after it, higher than one would think possible for such a small kitten.

~ Zoi

Dradvia was surprised and impressed. “Oh, impressive. You are going to need a lot of area for him.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I’ll make a holoplayground for him, like you said. And I’ve got ideas for my own room too.” Sisnil said. He grinned at her, “Relax, I’ve got it figured out.”

~ Zoi

“I know,” she said softly. Dradvia watched as Simon jumped and lept and then walked back over to Sisnil and meowed pitifully as he tried to climb onto him, half falling over.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil pet the kitten and then picked him up carefully and put the kitten on himself. “There you go, little guy. You’ll figure it out.” He said to it cutely.

~ Zoi

Dradvia grinned, chuckling mentally at the scene of her rougish pirate babying a kitten. Simon mrwled again, sticking his nose out and then trying to nurse Sisnil’s sleeve. He looked up at Sisnil and cried again.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I know you’re hungry but you have to wait a teeny bit, okay?” Sisnil said and booped the kitten’s nose. He pet Simon’s head a little and then offered a toy.

~ Zoi