Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in You Have To Trust Someone Eventaully

Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in You Have To Trust Someone Eventaully

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in You Have To Trust Someone Eventaully
Posted by… suppressed (9) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Sisnil sat next to her - also facing the room. But the way he sat was placing himself between her and the room. He’d ordered himself some Orion food. Eating it seemed to bring him some sadness and longing. Even so, his attention was always on those around them.

~ Zoi

Dradvia wasn’t so upset that she was unobservant. She noticed how Sisnil sat, blocking the room from her. Giving her space from the crowd. He also didn’t block her in. She also noticed he seemed sad. Her hand almost moved towards his. “Sisnil? What’s wrong?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Oh. You know. Just… Vash cooks this.” Sisnil shrugged and forced a smile. “‘S alright. It’s just food, anyway.” He said softly, half heartedly. “I’ll be fine, Dee.” He said.

~ Zoi

“Tell me about her.” There wasn’t anyone else Sisnil could talk to about, well, anything. Dradvia also knew how much it could hurt to not be able to talk about or openly remember the people that were important.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

There wasn’t. It was part of what made them so close, that people like Stevens couldn’t understand. “If she were here right now, she’d set her hand on my arm, like this,” he mimed it on the table, knowing she wouldn’t want to be touched. “and say everything will be okay.” Sisnil looked at her, “Vash is part Deltan, but she’d never manipulate my emotions without knowing I was okay with it. She wouldn’t make the loneliness, the emotional pain, go away, but she’d dull it. Make it more bearable.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia guessed they were closer than most people. With her Deltan empathy and his Betazoid telepathy. It must make the three of them really close. “Vash is kind of like the mother hen, huh? Makes sure you’re feeling okay, makes sure everyone eats, and stuff.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil thought about it. “I guess so.” He finished his food and pushed the tray aside. “She’s not the only one, though. Our medic’ll let you have it if you’re not making his job easier.” He grinned, “He likes to pretend he doesn’t care.”

~ Zoi

“It makes it easier,” Dradvia said. “When people are scared and hurting and they depend on you for comfort and to save them… it helps to pretend you don’t care.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil looked at her, “Do you do that?” He asked. He couldn’t see her pretending she didn’t care. Even with his training mishap, she’d been incredibly concerned and worried.

~ Zoi

Dradvia nodded slowly, “Sometimes. Not so much anymore, ya know.” She twirled her fork in the beans watching it for a moment. Remembering. “Now, I have access to the best medical equipment and treatments. I don’t see anything that can’t be taken care of. Before, though,” she looked up at him. “They get so scared, so it starts as a way to reassure them. Don’t show your shock or concern. Be really analytical so they stay calm. Then sometimes it is so bad it becomes an intellectual thing because you know you can’t do anything. They will live, but maimed. Eventually though the guilt and fear and anger starts to eat at you, so you have to hide even from yourself. Eventually, that bleeds into everything. Your friendships, your meals, yourself. The emotions are still there, but they belong to someone else.”

Her shoulders slumped, and she twirled her fork again. “I never fooled Kryssa though.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Never fool me, either,” Sisnil said. He had been the hurt one before, and while he wasn’t maimed, it hadn’t been clear whether he’d make it. He liked to know not be lied to.

~ Zoi

She looked up at him, “I didn’t mean it like that. I never lie to people. I meant about how scared I was. How much it hurt to lose someone, to not be able to help.” She held her hands out, palms up, helpless. “If I panic and cry, they will do worse. If Every case gets to me, eventually I won’t function and can’t help. Kryssa always knew how much it all got to me.” She studied his face for a moment, “I imagine you will too.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil nodded. “I will. My empathy is pretty strong.” He sat back in his seat, “I probably won’t be as helpful as she was.” He’d seen plenty of terrible, and he’d been unable to help. But he’d shut down the part of himself that cared that deeply a long time ago.

~ Zoi

Her mind glee backwards to that time. To a brown haired young girl. Black eyes full of fear and pain. “Kryssa, wasn’t really helpful. I hated she could feel it. I hated I couldn’t hide it from her. It made everything worse for her.” She shook her head, “Her telepathy… was out of control. She hadn’t had it long before we were taken. There was no one to teach her.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil seemed to almost wince at that. “Then I’ll be a lot more helpful than Kryssa.” In an environment like that.... Well, it was no wonder what happened, happened. “It takes practice to learn to separate other emotions from your own.” He said, voice gentle. “All the negativity around her… And the telepathic defense of a teenager. It would’ve been torture. I’m sorry.”

~ Zoi