Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in You Have To Trust Someone Eventaully

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in You Have To Trust Someone Eventaully

Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in You Have To Trust Someone Eventaully
Posted by… suppressed (48) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Sisnil pet the cat gently. “No, no fish for you. I’ll get you a different fish.” He said. Then he put one hand behind his back and quietly summoned a small piece of tuna with the computer while distracting the cat. Then he brought his hand around and showed her the tuna. “Oh, what’s that? Huh? What’s that?” He said. He broke the piece of fish in half and have half to Dradvia. “Here. Feed her.”

~ Zoi

There was a brief quiet ping of amusement in Dradvia before it was drowned in the despair. She took the fish and set it beside her. That was a mistake because Umbra pounced on it and tried to run away with the fish. It became a comical desperate game of keep away.

Dradvia tried to keep the fish out of reach while she gave the cat small pieces. Umbra would grab her arm and pull it down. She was surprisingly strong. Dradvia lost her balance, fell backwards, and the fish landed on her cheek.

Umbra sat on her chest, front paws on her chin, and started eating the fish.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil laughed. That was it, he had to get his hands on a cat. He had an idea. “Be careful or you’ll be swimming with the fish,” he said, grinning at her.

~ Zoi

Dradvia’s eyes went wide and she stopped in her movement to move Umbra. “Is she mmm mmhmmm mumble mumble.” Umbra didn’t like her perch moving and so she played down, paws on Dradvia’s nose, front legs and body keeping her mouth closed. Was the cat going to bite her? It seemed prudent to stay very still. Holographic or not, it would hurt. Her eyes cut to Sinsil for help.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil picked the cat up gently, careful of her nails, and then flipped her upside down and cuddled her. “You’re too much!” He plucked the fish off Dradvia and held it in his hand, letting the car flip over. “Here you go.”

~ Zoi

“Thanks,” Dradvoa murmured as she sat up. Her face felt icky with the oil. She asked the computer for a wet soapy cloth and scrubbed her face. It was holographic and would disappear when the program ended, but Dradvia didn’t like to be dirty. “I guess she was really hungry.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Or really likes fish,” Sisnil said, feeding her his half of the little piece of fish. Then he gave her a bunch more pet. “I’d give you more, but it’s not good to have too much.” Sisnil said. Not that it mattered, he could just change the program. But it did to him.

~ Zoi

“I see her running and climbing all the time. I’m sure she uses up all the food she eats.” She reached over, carefully and scratched her neck. “The monk in the kitchen sneaks her scraps all the time. I caught him.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled, “Well, I guess that’s fair. She’s his cat.” He said with a laugh. Umbra purred loudly and prodded Dradvia for more pet.

~ Zoi

Dradvia smiled, sadly, and gave in, letting Umbra have her way. The cat though would wander out of her reach and then cry insistently for Dradvia to keep petting her. Forcing Dradvia to ignore her or scoot closer little by little. “I didn’t think about who she belonged to. I guess he knows how much to sneak her.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled at the cat. “The others sneak her food too. Just not as often.” He watched the cat scoot away, roll over, cry for pet, and then repeat as Dradvia moved closer. It was funny to watch.

~ Zoi

The cat’s antics were causing Dradvia to invade her own personal space. Especially, since Umbra kept moving closer to Sisnil. Finally, she stopped, “No, Umbra, if you want pets come back here. You’re going to make me push Sisnil away if you don’t stop.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I’m not moving anywhere,” Sisnil said, grinning. He gave the cat a little pet. “She’s a cat. She’ll never stop.”

~ Zoi

“Well, she will either give up or come back if she wants pets.” Plus Dradvia was having that inexplicable feeling to get closer to him, again. She didn’t understand it, so she couldn’t give in to it.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Come on, Dee, is sitting close to me that terrible?” Sisnil asked, smiling at her. “Especially in pursuit of kitty pets.”

~ Zoi

No, it wasn’t. Even without kitty pets. That was the problem, it wasn’t awful at all. Dradvia didn’t understand herself or what she was feeling. There was no point in being silent, Sisnil could hear it anyway, obviously. “No, it’s not.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil looked at her. “Why does it make you uncomfortable?” He tilted his head slightly. “I don’t want to be nosy, I just want to understand. So maybe I can help.”

~ Zoi

She wrapped her arms around herself and looked away. “It isn’t you, Sisnil. It’s…” horrifying thoughts and memories of torturous cruel acts flooded her brain, “it’s before.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

It was easy for Sisnil to sense not only the feelings and thoughts, but the memories. Flashes of her memories before his eyes. “Dee… I’m sorry.” He looked at her and held a hand out, not touching her, not expecting anything, just on the ground between them. “The things that were done are unspeakable. But how can I prove I will never do anything like that if I’m not given the chance?”

~ Zoi

She didn’t think he would. Rationally she knew that, but… but some part of her couldn’t accept it. Couldn’t but the irrationality aside. It told her she wasn’t irrational to protect herself.

Everything had been okay until… until she realized her feelings weren’t simple. Over the last couple of weeks she had been finding herself comfortable around him, even looking forward to his company. She had even joked with him some.

She stared off in the opposite direction, unaware if his hand between them. “I… you know it’s…” She paused, fingertips dashing at her cheeks, her eyes closing on the internal torment. “I don’t think I can overcome the conditioning, Sisnil. It’s not a matter of proving you won’t hurt me. Even simple things, everyday phrases, bumping someone’s shoulder in passing, little things… I can feel myself reacting… obeying the rules we had to follow. Four years, Sisnil, and I can’t react normally.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“You’ll get there. I know you will.” Sisnil said. “Right now it feels like you won’t but you will.” He smiled, “And I’ll be here while you do.”

~ Zoi

“And what if I can’t? What if I can never manage a normal connection to someone?” Dradvia paused as rhe loneliness consumed her. “You won’t be here forever, Sisnil. You’ll get back to your brother and your crew.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“You will,” Sisnil insisted. At her words he paused. “I hope so.” He said, but he was split. Conflicted. He wanted more than anything to go home, but he didn’t want to leave Dee. But she’d never willingly come with him. Not back to the Syndicate.

~ Zoi

“You will.” She said with conviction. He was a pirate, he wouldn’t play by the rules. When he got the opportunity to leave, he would take it. He would have to dodge the Federation, but what else was new? Dodging authorities was a daily task in his line of work. He would make it home, and Dradvia would be happy for him.

She could wish that he would stay. He was the first person she felt connected to, had wanted to be friends with. She knew she wouldn’t want to lose that. She would though because Sisnil would never be happy here. She wasn’t happy here (of course she wasn’t going to be happy anywhere). The idea of going with him never crossed her mind because she could never imagine a scenario where he would ask her. If she thought about it, she would know she couldn’t. What little healing she had done would be lost returning willingly to the Syndicate.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil would never let her return as a slave, but as a full member of his crew. But it wouldn’t matter to her. Until the time came when he had to choose, it didn’t matter anyway. Sisnil smiled at her “Whatever the future holds, I will be here for you so long as we are together.”

~ Zoi

She nodded. For now, in the present, she believed him. She wasn’t too confident about the future. Dradvia didn’t really think too much about the future. One moment, one day at most, at a time.

Dradvia was quiet for a long time. Her fingers moving and then stilling on Umbra’s fur. “Sisnil?”

“Huh?” Sisnil asked, looking at her.

“I’m really tired. Could… would it be okay if we go back?” She was tired. It wasn’t an excuse, or an attempt to get away. She was physically exhausted from the last 36 hours and no sleep.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Of course,” Sisnil said with sincerity. He stood and picked up Umbra and set her down. Then he terminated the program. “You gonna be alright?” He asked.

~ Zoi

Dradvia shrugged as ahe stood. What was alright? “Yeah, I guess so. It’s harder to be okay when I’m tired.” She took a deep breath, “I’m going to go to bed early. I’ll be better tomorrow.” Or at least not so emotional.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“M’kay.” Sisnil walked with her back to her quarters. Just before she went in, he stopped her. “Dee? If you do need anything, promise to ask me… Okay?” He said.

~ Zoi

Oh what a tricky request that was. “I don’t know if I can Sisnil.” Dradvia never gave her word easily. Asking for help was hard for her, it required Trust. Not just of the other person, but trust in herself. “But I will promise to try. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but that’s the best I can do.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I’ll take that.” Sisnil said and smiled at her, then disappeared into his own room.

~ Zoi

Dradvia entered her quarters and looked around. There was nothing personal around. She had clothes, most were uniforms, and then a few things that she had been given when she had been rescued and that following year. There were no books, not when she could read on her PaDD. No pictures, no childhood keepsakes, nothing from the Academy. She never attended parties, or went to games, or local hangouts. She had managed to make friends with her roommates, but they were fleeting friends.

Dradvia slipped off her shoes and found a long sleeve shirt and sweatpants to wear to bed. She double checked the lock on her door and then changed rapidly. She crawled into bed and under the blanket.

She was so close to falling asleep, but couldn’t. The images in her mind’s eye were too real. In a.moment of spiked panic, she crawled to the floor and into the corner. She wedged herself in, the desk and chair hiding her. She finally drifted off in exhausted sleep.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Dee’s panic woke Sisnil, an old safety reflex. If something woke Noril, Sisnil would wake, too. He contemplated checking on her, but soon felt her calm and decided to let her be. Then drifted back to sleep himself.

The next morning, he made his way to the galley at his normal time in search of breakfast, holding his PaDD. He had ‘work’ to do.

~ Zoi

Dradvia had started her early morning shift in earnest now. No more planned alternate shifts. She hadn’t minded, but with a new doctor on board things were evenly covered. She got to finally make a routine. So, that meant early breakfast before Sisnil ever woke up. Dradvia felt bad missing him, and hoped he didn’t think she was avoiding him. But the solitary breakfast let her contemplate quietly. If he was asleep, he couldn’t hear her, right? That’s what she told herself anyway.

She took a brief break midmorning to grab some coffee. She wasn’t really tired but the hot dark liquid was comforting. Shebused to drink Hot Chocolate, but it reminded her too much of Kryssa.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil spotted her on her way to the galley. “Dee! I didn’t expect to see you.” Yes, he knew her shift changed. “How’s your day?”

~ Zoi

She paused and turned toward him. She didn’t smile, but she felt lighter. He was glad to see her, or seemed to be. He didn’t seem to think she was avoiding him. “Slow, routine. Not much to do on a ship this small. I don’t mind though. It let’s me read up on all kinds of things I still don’t know.”

“What are they having you do today?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Not too much. Honestly, I finished a while ago and didn’t tell anyone so I could work on my own projects.” Sisnil shrugged. “Nothing I do is of importance anyway. I think some of them are just happy when I’m out of the way for a while.”

~ Zoi

That just wasn’t right. Why have him here if he wasn’t going to do anything? “You’re good with computers. I know we’ve been waiting on some database and software updates. Maybe they would let you do it. None of it is marked confidential.” She wasn’t trying to give him busy work, it was an honest suggestion.

“Can’t, I’d have access to security protocols. They don’t quite trust me with that yet. They know I could use the non confidential access to make holes into the confidential stuff.” And then he winked at her, “What they don’t know is I don’t need their bread crumbs to make my own access, that’s how I knew Remy’s history.”

Dradvia rolled her eyes. “It’s Medical equipment. Upgrades to our WTR-600 Wearable Tricorder XIIs. They ate out of date and glitch. They are going to cause a misdiagnosis. I mean I would rather not use it, but away from sickbay they can be really useful.”

“Are you making another holoprogram?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Yes. Another nice one, not one that’s going to get me shot.” Sisnil said and smiled.

~ Zoi

“Good,” she smiled. “I mean I’m decent at patching people up, but I would rather not have to.” She ordered her coffee and then stepped away from the replicator. “Any hints?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled. “Hope it’s never more than patching.” He said. “Hmmm.... It’s a holo-game set in a city.” He said. “That’s all the hint you get.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia sipped her coffee, her mind tumbling over possibilities. She had a quick mind and was quite bright, despite her reserved shyness. “Hmmm… I’ll have to think on that.” She smiled shyly, “For now I have to get back to sickbay. Have fun programming Sisnil. Maybe next you could do a pool hall for a weekly poker game.” Then she hurried out the door back to her shift.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Or a casino. It was a good idea. But his programming was going slower than usual because he was working on a different project. There was a breeder of the right kind of cats in this part of space, Sisnil had already contacted them. Soon he’d have confirmation and be able to set up the shipping. He’d loop in Morris, no way he’d say no, so no reason to sneak around when it wasn’t necessary.

Then he worked on his holo-game the rest of the day. He sat in the lounge while he worked quietly.

~ Zoi

Dradvia went back to her shift. It was mostly routine and quiet. A few scraps, burns, one chemical gas inhalation. All easily taken care of. Dradvia enjoyed the routine and the simple tasks of helping someone else. Healing them, caring for them.

While she worked, Sisnil could feel her ease and confidence in what she was doing. At some point that changed to a sense of anger and intense dislike. Boiling distaste and simmering aggression. It wasn’t coming from Dradvia.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

There was ease and confidence. Dradvia’s emotions made him happy. At least there was somewhere she was at ease. But soon they were drowned out by anger and dislike, aggression that he had to be sure to distance himself from. He closed his PaDD and stood. He started to head towards medical to see if it was someone near Dradvia, or someone somewhere else.

~ Zoi

It wasn’t hard to find the source of the feeling. Down on deck 6 just past the engineering section within view of sickbay, was a brooding figure in ops gold. He was watching the doors to sickbay and alternating to his watch. He was waiting and watching.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Stevens. He ought to have known. He stood a distance away and leaned on the wall, legs crossed, body relaxed. “Stevens. What’cha waiting for? Have a medical appointment?”

~ Zoi

He looked up and as the saying goes: if looks could kill. Anger, jealousy, wrath, desire, competitivenesd all swirled off him, and to his credit a flutter of concern. “I’m here for Dradvia.” He could imagine himself stalking the distance, grabbing Zoi and throwing him into a bulkhead.

What stopped him was a healthy dose of self preservation. “I saw it all. You made her run away in tears. I also heard you tell her she could never leave you, no matter what she wants. I’m taking her to Lt. Theinna to report you. If they don’t listen then we’ll go to Captain Morris.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil laughed. “You heard what? When?” He shook his head, “You know who makes her want to run away in tears? You. You’re obsessive and overbearing. You make her uncomfortable. You don’t listen to what she wants and worst of all? You only want her because she’s Risan.” Sisnil gave him a disdainful look that said I think of you like the chewed gum on my boot. “You think she’s not worth it? If you weren’t such a constant thorn in my side, you wouldn’t be worth the thoughts I’ve wasted on you.”

~ Zoi

“Yesterday. Outside the holosuite,” Stevens sneered and pushed his larger frame away from the bulkhead. “That was before,” he said of Zoi’s reminder. He was jealous that Dradvia wanted Zoi over him. “Now I realize she was afraid to speak up. Afraid of what you will do to her.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I’d love to just walk away,” Sinsil said, “But I can’t allow you to harass her.” He stood, still relaxed and easy, despite Stevens’ more intimidating stance. The man was much larger, but Sisnil was still confident he would be no problem physically. As long as he didn’t land a solid hit. “Do you know what assuming does? Funny little human saying, but so much truth to it. Turn around, walk away.”

~ Zoi

His eyes narrowed at Zoi and his hands flexed into tight fists, taking a half step forward. Something about Zoi was… like walking into a dark alley on a crime world against an enemy Boss. Stevens almost walked away, deciding to try and get to Dradvia some other time. Except…

Dradvia walked out of sickbay. She was smiling and had a lighter step than earlier. It had been a good day. She was starting to get a feel for working with the nurses and other staff. Even though everything had been mostly routine she felt like, at least on duty, she had started to settle in just a little bit. She saw Sisnil and inside she lit up. She shouldn’t, but there was just something about the fact he was waiting for her. He wanted to see her, and stopped what he was doing to come meet her after her shift. She tried not to smile too much as she walked just a little faster toward him.

“Dradvia, don’t.” She was stopped quite suddenly with a firm unmoving grip. It didn’t hurt, but it clearly communicated not to move. The sudden aggressive contact froze her, her mind swirling in a thousand directions, trying to determine what was coming next. “Dradvia don’t go with him,” she glanced over, confused, it was Stevens again. “He’s trouble. I heard him. I saw you crying.”

She tugged her arm experimentally, “No, leave me alone.”

But instead he moved closer, into her space. “You don’t have to go with him. It will be okay. You’re coming with me.” The last was said firmly without question and without room to refuse. Stevens thought he was projecting confidence and reassurance, but it came out far from that. It was a command an order back by anger, frustration, and a whole lot of jealousy. She wanted to go with Sisnil and Stevens had to make her realize she couldn’t.

Sisnil saw her posture change immediately. Shoulders bowed, head bent, eyes down, body braced for whatever would happen if she tried to refuse.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Her fear and submission swirled to Sisnil. His posture changed, from relaxed and easygoing to ready to pounce. One of his own was being threatened. He was trying not to look too frightening, he didn’t want to scare Dee. But he looked more like the angry criminal she’d met initially, dangerous, wearing a dark expression. “Let her go.” It was a command.

The tone, the control the dangerously low volume made Stevens look up. The look on Zoi’s face, his posture, made him let go immediately and take a step back. He faced Zoi, watching him warily, guarded. He knew instinctively he wouldn’t win. Stupid pride stopped him from walking away right then. Now it was less about Dradvia and more about not losing.

“Dee,” he said, voice much softer. “He won’t hurt you. He… He thinks he’s helping you.”

~ Zoi

“I’m not the one hurting her. Why would she think that?” Stevens finally actually looked at Dradvia and his brow furrowed. She wouldn’t look at them, she looked terrified. She hadn’t looked like that when she first came out of sickbay. She couldn’t be afraid of him could she? Zoi was the one who had told her she couldn’t leave him no matter what she thought. How long had this been going on? He may have to report this himself. Watching her, standing so still, like she was beaten, was disturbing.

Dee. It cut through the panic and flashback. It didn’t stop them, but at least she heard him. She didn’t believe it though. She didn’t believe Stevens was really trying to help her. He was using helping her to justify his own selfish actions. All her experience screamed that at her. She didn’t look at Sisnil, she didn’t dare. Stevens was too close, and if he got mad, she was in such easy reach. She wanted away from Stevens. Sisnil was safe, but she didn’t dare move. Her chest hurt as her heart pounded and her whole body tingled with the adrenaline rush.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer