Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in You Have To Trust Someone Eventaully

Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in You Have To Trust Someone Eventaully

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in You Have To Trust Someone Eventaully
Posted by… suppressed (23) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
She stopped at the door and turned back. “You’re welcome, Sisnil.” She left and hurried to get ready for her shift. The showers were occupied, past capacity. Dradvia settled for splashing her face and hurring out. She put her hair up in a quick bun and then went to the mess. Coffee. She needed a lot of coffee. Something to eat too, but not too much. A full stomach always made her sleepy.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil stayed in bed another few hours before getting up later. He headed down to the galley for breakfast, and then hung around the lounge.

~ Zoi

Dradvia could have taken a break for a meal, but she ate before her shift and was done just after lunch. She could wait to eat. Normally a full mess was welcome, but this way she was able to avoid uncomfortable encounters. Which she had been doing for a couple of weeks now. She entered the lounge and was glad to see it populated but only very. She knew a couple of faces at a glance, but only that they were part of the crew. She knew no names.

She grabbed a sandwich and a hot drink from the replicator and then found herself a seat at one of the smaller tables. The rest of the people were a small group of late break takers and a smaller group playing a board game by the lounge chairs. She was eating in the companionable silence when a figure sat, uninvited, beside her.

“Hey Drad. I haven’t seen you in a couple of weeks.” Stevens knew she had been mad at him, so he had given her some space. He had seen glimpses of her, but had not spoken with her. Plus she always seemed to be around that guy. Today she was not. He was irritated over the other man’s…Zoi he’d heard his name was, being so possessive of her. What gave him the right to say whether he could or could not talk to Drad? He also saw this as his last chance since he saw her sneaking out of Zoi’s quarters early this morning. “How are you doing?”

Dradvia looked at him, sandwich halfway to her mouth. She set it down, but didn’t let it go. “I’m fine.” Something in his demeanor made her uneasy. He kept glancing around, and it was awkward to look at him where he was sitting so close to her, rather than across.

He smiled, “Has Dr Tessan finally given you a steady shift rotation? I never understood why the DHs do that with all the newly graduated cadets. It’s almost a regulation.” He chuckled.

“Yeah, I think so.” She picked up her cup and drank. What did he want?

“Yeah?” he was hoping she would say when. It would be easy to figure out, it was a small crew, but he wanted her to tell him herself. “Some of us lower deckers are thinking of having a small get together. You know, get to know each other and what not. You should come. It’s just for junior officers. You know, no guests or senior officers to perform for.” He chuckled again, missing the wince that particular wording caused.

“Umm, I guess it depends on when it is and my schedule,” she was uneasy about outright saying no.

He reached over and took her hand, curling his fingers around hers, his thumb rubbing over her knuckles, “Well, tell me when your schedule is, and I’ll make sure to plan it when you’re off duty.” Her hand twitched a little and he smiled, taking it for attraction rather than the extreme discomfort and rush of anxiety it was. “I could pick you up before and we could grab dinner. There will be snacks and what not, but not the same as a good meal.”

Dradvia pulled her hand back but he wouldn’t let go. He didn’t hurt her, but he applied just enough pressure to create a tug of war she was sure she couldn’t win. Sisnil said that he didn’t think Stevens meant any harm, but she didn’t like it. Stevens squeezed her hand reassuringly, or so he thought.

“Dr. Tessan keeps me fairly busy.” She couldn’t say she didn’t like parties because then he would think she wanted to spend time alone with him, which she did not. “I’ll keep an eye on the social calendar. If I’m off, I’ll decide if I want to go or not. I’m not up for anything right now.”

“Hey, if groups aren’t your thing we can just hang out the two of us. Get to know each other. It’s hard when you don’t know anyone on board.” She smiled cajolingly at her. He tugged her hand a little, ducked his head to look at her a bit, and then pulled her hand toward him. “Come on Drad. You deserve to do something fun.” And he would be more than happy to help her do that. He had to get her to agree before Zoi showed up again. He wasn’t going to lose to that guy.

Her anxiety was out of her control, the sick feeling in her stomach spreading and she felt a need to hide and sob. It rolled off her. She tugged her hand harder until it freed with a slight pop against the table top. She quickly filled her hands with her sandwich. She looked at it, and considered just throwing it away and missing another meal. He leaned forward, his chair moving so they were closer. “Hey, relax, it’s alright,” he set a hand on her arm. “I won’t let the crowd overwhelm you.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil was headed to the galley when he felt roiling anxiety, so much so his stomach almost felt ill. It wasn’t his, it was Dee’s. He turned into the galley and looked around. Quickly he spotted Stevens harassing her. He cut to the front of the line, grabbed food quickly, apologizing to the officers he’d cut in front of, and then strolled casually to the table and forcefully inserted himself between the two. He ended up pushing Dee more than Stevens, but at least he was between them. “Hey, pals, how’re we doing today?” He asked, looking at Stevens.

~ Zoi

Dradvia’s relief was palpable to Sisnil. She had to move some, but she didn’t mind. How did he always know when she needed support?

Stevens was having a similar thought. How did Zoi always know when he was trying to talk to Dradvia? Rumor was he was an Intel officer. Why was he keeping tabs on her. He was dangerous, he could feel it. “We were doing just fine. We will be again when you realize this table is full.”

Dradvia touched Sisnil’s arm. It was the first time she had done so voluntarily. Please please don’t read anything into this. “Sisnil, you’re here. I thought you were going to have to cancel.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

But she didn’t have to worry about that. Sisnil knew her plan as soon as she thought it. “I finished up early,” he said easily, smiling. “I mean, how hard is it to run around the ship carrying things anyway?”

~ Zoi

Stevens eyed them. That was too easy. He had been watching Dradvia, she was shy. Though she had spent the night in Zoi’s room. One night wasn’t a commitment. “Actually, Drad and I were just finalizing plans for Thursday night. We’re having a small gathering for crew members only. I’m going to make sure she gets settled in properly.”

“That’s okay, I’m not a party guy anyway. And if you actually cared about Dee rather than just like how she looks, you’d know she doesn’t like them all that well either.” Sisnil replied. He knew she hadn’t agreed to that, it didn’t take telepathy to know she never would.

Dradvia was too stunned to say anything for a good fifteen seconds. They had not agreed to that. They weren’t a couple, and certainly they weren’t going anywhere together. Stevens stood, reached over Zoi to take her hand back, and she felt like a rope in a tug of war. “No.” It was soft and came out on a confused tone (which was better than scared). What was he playing?

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil let Dee speak for herself. He was there if she needed him, but he didn’t own her. He knew that better than most. She needed to speak for herself if Stevens was ever going to listen.

Dradvia knew she had to speak up. She had learned to do that. “I didn’t agree to anything. I’m not interested, En. Stevens. Please leave me alone.” Stevens wasn’t sure, but he hesitated. His attention was turned away from her by Zoi.

He couldn’t help though but input, “And for further observations you’ve missed, she doesn’t like to be touched.”

~ Zoi

“A Risan who doesn’t like to be touched?” He was derisive. Risan’s were known for their open sensuality. Dradvia realized very quickly with that statememt why he was so interested in her. Stevens glared hard at Zoi. “She certainly didn’t mind being touched when she stayed in your quarters all night.” Dradvia gasped loudly in shock.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“You were spying on her? Are you a stalker now?” Sisnil snorted. “Not that you’re worth sense but she wasn’t staying over for anything like that. She was helping me recover. I broke my ankle in the holodeck yesterday.” Yes, he would admit it, to protect her and her reputation. “Now instead of gossiping about your crewmates’ personal lives, how about being useful for a change?”

~ Zoi

Stevens didn’t believe it. A broken ankle was a fast fix in sickbay. It didn’t require a house call. Dradvia hadn’t removed her hand from Sisnil’s arm. Stevens’ eyes narrowed on her hand and his arm. Doesn’t like to be touched, huh? Well, I can do better than her anyway. His eyes raised to hers. A barb on his lips.

“My personal time is no one concerns but mine. Leave me alone. I’m not asking.” She didn’t want to report anyone, but she would go to Dr. Tessan if she had to. Stevens raised a single brow and glared at her. “Maybe you two deserve each other.” It didn’t sound like a compliment. He was taller than Sisnil, and glared down at him, a threat. He didn’t like him.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil stood his whole 5‘4’’ height and stared right back at Stevens. “I don’t really care what you think. Leave me and her alone and I’ll leave you alone.”

~ Zoi

Zoi made him uneasy before, made him think twice, and that one time had outright scared him. This was worse. “No problem.” He looked at Dradvia. She stared back, but it was hard. She didn’t like the way Stevens kept coming around. “She’s not worth it.” It was a loaded and sickening comment that was meant to tear her pride and save his. He left and Dradvia felt sick. Somehow she felt like the moment Sisnil wasn’t around, Stevens would never leave her alone.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil simply turned and sat back down as if nothing had happened at all. “C’mon, Dee, let’s save this meal.” He poked his fork at her, “You know you can’t go on saving people on an empty belly all the time.” He said and smiled. It was as though the tiff with Stevens were so insignificant he didn’t care at all. He wasn’t worth the thought or trouble. Oh, Sisnil would never hurt him, like he’d promised Dee. He’d strike out in ways that didn’t cause bodily harm if Stevens couldn’t keep to himself.

~ Zoi

She smiled, picking up the pretense, and took a bite of her sandwich. Though she didn’t feel as hungry as she had before. Just more tired. That last verbal jab, had poked deeper into still healing wounds than anything else. She was nervous and anxious in confrontation. Afraid of the consequences, of retribution. Physical connection and trust were near impossible. Close relationships of any kind were a wish that wouldn’t come true. But not being worth it. She shook her head at herself, that… well that was a truth that was her living nightmare. She hadn’t been worth finding, worth searching for, had no meaning to anyone. Just one less mouth to feed in an over crowded orphanage.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Her thoughts rushed through Sisnil’s mind, her despair crushed him. Her pain hurt him. In an instant he switched from jovial and fun to serious and caring as he dropped his silverware and turned to Dee. He set his hands on her shoulders like he did from time to time. “Don’t… ever… tell yourself that lie, Dee. You are worth it. The opinion of scum like him doesn’t matter.” He lowered his voice, “After that comment we both know why he was here anyway. You’re a person. Not just his idea of what a Risan should be.”

~ Zoi

She didn’t bother to try and smile. She just pulled away from his hands. It was uncomfortable. She wished it wasn’t. Sometimes she did better, but right now it was too raw, too tender. “It’s okay. He is one of those who would try to convince a Deltan to break their vow, or date a Betazed to see if the rumors are true. He doesn’t see people as partners, just temporary ultimate diversions.” She shrugged sadly, “Not the way he meant it, but it’s true. No one came looking for us, no one was going to. If the Syndicate took me again, no one will come after me. I have no family to demand it, no rank or importance to make me valuable. If they knew I was taken I would be listed MIA, if they didn’t I would be listed a deserter.” She looked back down at her plate and forced herself to take another bite.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Am I not worth it either, then?” Sisnil asked. “Sure, Noril might come looking. Or he’ll bow to the Syndicate. You think Starfleet would come to my rescue?” He snorted. “They’d think the trash took itself out.” He didn’t set his hands back on her, he instead rested them in his lap. “Besides, Dee, I care. I’d rip the Syndicate apart if I had to.”

~ Zoi

“You have someone that cares about you. Two someones at least. Noril and Vash. They may have to be very careful, but Noril will never stop looking for you. Just like you wouldn’t for him.” She sighed. They both knew Star Fleet would look for him. To make sure he hadn’t stolen secrets. Maybe not the ideal way to get rescued, but it was there.

She looked at him sadly. He sounded so sincere. It made her chest hurt in a way she wasn’t gamiliar with. It made her want to cry. “I’m sure you mean that right now, but you can’t. You would put Noril, Vash, and the rest of your crew in danger if you did. I’m… I’m not worth their lives and semi freedom. It’s okay.” She had a terrible sense of swlf-worth. Oh she had been throughbtherapy for it, but it was a hard thing to overcome.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Maybe not all their lives but yours is worth the same as mine or anyone else’s.” Sisnil said. “And maybe I’d have to do it carefully but I’d still be trying to find you.”

~ Zoi

She stared at him a long time, her food forgotten, her drink getting cold. She didn’t understand why he would do that, but she believed him. “Thanks Sisnil.” She turned back to her food, staring at it instead. Picking at it, but not really eating.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil was giving her a look. “Eat.” He said, in his best compassionate Captain voice. He started eating his own food.

~ Zoi

She glanced up at him, startled out of her self pitying thoughts. “Aye, Cap’n,” she said so softly no one else could hear her and grinned. She turned back to her food and made herself eat. All she really wanted right now was sleep. It hit her hard as the adrenaline crash hit her.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil finished his food and made sure she finished hers. His smile was unmistakeable when she called him cap’n. “Okay, let’s go,” he said when she was done. “Do you want to go to your quarters or the hologarden?”

~ Zoi

Dradvia was tired, she should go to bed, but she loved the hologarden he made. The mention of it perked her up. “The garden.” They got onnthe lift and headed down. “Sisnil,” she said his name hesitantly, “Thank you. I… well it sounds stupid, but my brain sort of stops processing when I … get put into situations. I know what to do, but it’s like my brain can’t send the signals. So, anyway. Thank you.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled again. “I’ve spent so many years using my abilities for bad reasons.... I guess I’m trying to figure out how to do it right again.” He said. “I just… I don’t care what anybody thinks of me but for that officer to see you that way… And the way he made you feel…” He clenched a fist and then relaxed it. “I promised you I wouldn’t do anything and I won’t. But I hope my warning was heard loud and clear.”

~ Zoi

She turned to look at him, “You were surviving.” It didn’t excuse everything, but there weren’t always choices in those situations.

“Was I?” It was a question he’d struggle with for the rest of his life.

She touched the back if his hand. Light and fleeting, but she did. He was angry on her behalf. It stunned her and then made her feel warm and comforted. She shouldn’t say so, but, “I hope I your warning was heard, too?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

There was a warm, fluttery feeling as her hand brushed his. Sisnil smiled at her, relaxed as ever. “If not, there are ways to be persuasive without causing bodily harm or ruining his life or anything.” He grinned, “I can be very mischievous, my dear Dee.”

~ Zoi