Posted by Captain Eela Dasca (Lt. Governor) in Dasca’s Apartment- The Comfort of Friends

Posted by Civilian Astrid Rousseau (Chief Justice) in Dasca’s Apartment- The Comfort of Friends
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Long before Eela disclosed her and Roger’s one night trist, Astrid could guess it was coming. A deep friendship of that nature meant that at least some time in their lives, they each had considered the other for partnership. To deny ever thinking it would have been a disservice. Why wouldn’t you consider someone who was that close to you and that in tune with your wants and needs as a partner? For a moment, Astrid felt envious of her friend.

“I am glad you have had that with Roger. I think he is your safe harbor. And…” She paused, considering her words. “I believe if a one night didn’t hurt your friendship, a relationship will not. If you are as close as you say you are, even if it does not work out romantically over the long term, you are good enough friends and people to respectfully end the romantic side. You might need a little space after, but it won’t end your friendship at all. Therefore, you should go for it. Who knows, Roger may ease that sense of being so overwhelmed. You owe it to yourself to give it a chance.”

Rousseau, HotJ

It was so unexpected but as the tears welled in her eyes Eela realize that Astrid’s words were everything she had needed to hear. “You’re right, of course. You don’t maintain a friendship for over thirty years without knowing how to talk things through. I mean, it’s not like we haven’t had arguments or rough spots. And he has always been there for me no matter what.”

Her heart sympathized as Eela’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. Maybe she simply needed to talk all this out with an understanding ear. It made Astrid feel a bit needed and that helped her as much as her words helped Eela. Astrid had been missing friendship from her life for a long time. Urg was a good Klingon and she knew he would want her to come to him for anything, but she knew that some aspects of friendship were best left for women.

She drew in a deep breath. “I confirmed with a friend that something with Roger scares me, because I know it would be intense. And it’s complicated now because I have feelings for another person who is here on Oed. It’s all very complicated.” She snorted. “I suppose it wouldn’t be my life if it wasn’t.” She had picked up that thread of envy from Astrid, but she wasn’t sure yet how her empathy would be handled by her new friend. It took time to work those issues out and so Eela tried to be cautious at the beginning. Goodness knows she had gotten herself into serious trouble in the past when she hadn’t been mindful.

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

“Intense and complicated. Why didn’t you say so? It sounds like the easiest thing in the whole universe!” Astrid shrugged dramatically and then began to laugh.

Rousseau, HotJ

Eela laughed too. “Ahh, I keep joking that if my life were boring I’d be dead, so I might as well just get used to the drama.”

Eela turned to face Astrid more fully, mindful to not twist her back. “I’ve always been non-monogamous. A good number of my peole are, so it’s not uncommon. But I married a Human was was monogamous. Our arrangement was simple: when we were together, it was just us, but when work meant our lives were apart at times, as they often could be, then we were both free to seek companionship as we needed. I had thought he understood that need because I was Haliian. I’m not sure if I’m ready for serious relationships yet. Cory’s… visit, and him grabbing me just shattered so much of what I thought had been reality. And then Dash dying. But I have known that I don’t want to be monogamous. I don’t want to make compromises anymore than deny who I am. Who I love. I let everything else chip away at the person I had been. And now that I’ve found that person again, or a new version of her, I don’t want to repeat the same patterns. I want to be free to love whomever my heart is drawn to, but I realize that not everyone that meets that qualification will be okay with my being with others. And then of course I am the Lieutenant Governor, and in the public eye. I don’t fear judgement in that way, but I won’t be able to protect my partners fully from the media. So I feel like I have to live in secret to keep them safe. Or am I just making it more complicated than it needs to be?” It was a genuine question with a plea in her tone. Eela wanted Astrid’s opinion whether she had direct experience with the subject or not.

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

Astrid smiled ruefully and shook her head. “You apparently have not employed the Public Relations person I have recommended yet.” She gazed at Eela for a long moment, the pleasant expression remaining on her face. She wasn’t offended that Eela had not hired the person or only used that person for the struggles with Cory. Lt. Governor was a social and political position even though it was a Star Fleet position. The same rules still applied. “I believe there are many people in offices of power like ours that still live significantly private lives. I believe Polyamory is prominent enough that it isn’t scandal worthy if you are honest about it if asked. Simply reiterate that you and your partners like to lead private lives and you ask the public to respect that.”

Rousseau, HotJ

Eela gave a sheepish grin. “Soon, I promise. It’s been… hectic.” She sighed and leaned against the sofa, letting her thoughts percolate as she took in her patio. “I suppose the comment about safety is more than just a public presence.” She gazed at Rousseau again. “It’s hard to let down my guard and just let people take care of everything. My home’s safety was breached a second time after Cory. Unrelated to him, I’m fairly certain. But it put into the spotlight that those around me endure a level of risk, and as much as I trust my team to take care of everything, to let them hold responsibility for my safety, that’s a lot to ask of potential partners, even ones I have such a deep connection with already. After Dash… I’m scared Astrid. For me. For others. He…” She swallowed and forced the tears back. She’d cried enough lately. “He died a very short time after leaving my bed. It’s hard to shake that, especially after everything else I’ve been dealing with lately. I’m trying to not shut down, and to keep letting people in, but it’s almost painful how hard I have to fight that impulse.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

At the mention of Eela’s home being breached twice, the blood left Astrid’s face, making her look far more pale than she usually was. For a moment, she was back in her kitchen facing Tyson and knowing that she was in visceral danger even with an entire kitchen island between them. She blinked rapidly and shifted to check the tea, busying herself with preparing cups as Eela expressed her concerns and her heartache. She struggled to pay attention and not live in her own world of fear and remembrance. She told herself firmly Eela obviously needed a friend and she needed to put her trauma aside to help.

The Chief Justice looked up as she heard the hitch in her friends voice. Taking a deep and steadying breath, she said with deep compassion, “You are doing just fine. You have a lot of emotions right now. You don’t have to let people in right now or you can go the opposite and let yourself lean on others. Either decision is yours to make and is neither right nor wrong… it is simply what you need. People will understand and if they don’t they are not people you want around you.”

Rousseau, HotJ

One did not practice as a therapist for as long as she had without being able to pick up cues from people. Eela was also an empath. “Sometimes it’s hard to know what you need, and if that truly is the right choice. What can feel right n the moment can cause problems afterwards.” She reached out and, after hesitating a moment, rested her hand on Astrid’s arm. “Are you alright?” She reached up with her other hand and tapped her head. “Empath.” She almost explained how being next to someone in an open conversation like they were required her to keep her mental shields lower, but the reality was that it was partly cultural and partly just her still being a bit frazzled in less control of her mind after the Kuskaaritz.

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

Astrid placed her hand on Eela’s and squeezed before pulling away. She felt cold despite the temperature and she didn’t want to be touched but she also did not want to make Eela feel bad for having touched her. She gave her an apologetic look before continuing to busy her hands. “I too had a break in twice in my home. I actually think I might sell it and find another home. I feel… like it’s not mine anymore. What once was a sanctuary, now feels wrong.”

Rousseau, HotJ