Posted by Captain Eela Dasca (Lt. Governor) in Eela’s Apartment- A New Place to Begin

Posted by Lieutenant Séan Iven (Counselor) in Eela’s Apartment- A New Place to Begin

Posted by Captain Eela Dasca (Lt. Governor) in Eela’s Apartment- A New Place to Begin
Posted by… suppressed (4) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Séan listened carefully, nodding as Eela spoke about her daughter Caridee and the complex dynamics of their relationship. “It’s evident that Caridee loves you deeply and wants to do everything she can to support you,” he said gently. “But I can understand how it might be difficult to balance being grateful for her care with maintaining your sense of independence.”

He paused, considering his next words carefully. “It’s not uncommon for caregivers and their loved ones to experience a shift in roles that can be challenging to navigate. Your need for independence is a fundamental part of who you are, and it’s entirely valid to feel conflicted when circumstances force you to rely on others more than you’re comfortable with.”

“One way to address this might be to have an open conversation with Caridee about how you’re feeling. Acknowledge her invaluable support, but also express your need to maintain your independence where possible. You might find ways for her to help that don’t undermine your sense of autonomy, allowing both of you to adjust to a new balance that feels more comfortable.”

Counselor Iven

Eela nodded slowly. “In some ways my coming to Oed has forced some shifts, some reblancing as it were, but yes, you’re probably right. She’s going to be here awhile and we’re going to have to figure out that balance here in this new setting with these new variables.”

She took a sip from her mug, trying to not lift her body too much but it still caused her some mild pain. “I did have to explain some of my unease with all the help I’ve required from everyone to Karilan. I mean, it’s one thing to get help moving from one space to another, it’s quite another to need help dressing for the day. And I’m not embarrassed by having them help me, but I did express that I worried it might impact how we react if I sometimes got frustrated by the fact that it was necessary in the first place. They were lovely about it, as I expected, but something between us has been shifting lately and the whole thing with Dash and the Kuskaaritz has made it more pronounced, more obviously romantic. It certainly wasn’t intentional on either of our parts, but it’s something we’ll have to talk about when the moment is right.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

Séan nodded slowly as he took that all in. “I’m not even really sure on what sort of advice to give on that.” He said with a wry grin. “Relationships haven’t always been my personal strong point, though we counselors have plenty to tell our patients. I guess I’d just have to recommend that you take it slow and try not to dive headlong into anything in the moment. Though if you do that won’t exactly be the end of the world and I’ll be here to talk it over.”

Counselor Iven

She couldn’t help the smile that slipped onto her face. “Well, relationships are something I’m very experienced with. I’m not monogamous, Séan. Though most of the time, Cory was. He knew when he met me how I was, and how I thrive too much on connection, both emotional and physical, to be fully monogamous. So we had an arrangement, an agreement with rules: when he were living together, we were together, just us. But because I was in Starfleet and his work was a lot of contract jobs that required him to be on various sites, we would be apart. During those times I was free to have whatever connections I needed. So was he, though he very rarely did, that I know of. There was always supposed to be open and honest communication about it all, so he always knew if I went on dates or what not. I never hid anything from him. But after that has happened and all that I have realized, but can’t be one hundred percent sure that honesty was reciprocal. I’m sure if I asked my friend Roger, he’d have something to say about it.”

Eela blew out a breath. “That is all to say that Karilan and I have had this fascinating connection since we met at their bookshop and cafe soon after I arrived. It’s been my favourite place to work away from the office, and frankly I like being about them as well. They designed and had built all those bookcases you see here in the apartment. Ever since then, ever since… I guess I let them in in ways. Seeing a person’s book collection is personal. Intimate. And they even designed a safe room system in my office so I wouldn’t have to worry about being feeling unsafe in my home again. It was such a beautiful and unexpected gift. And so are they. And they encouraged my flirtation with Dash and supported me through taking that big first step of letting someone so obviously into my heart again.” She looked down at her lap. “The thing I’ve realized is that I have been letting people into my heart in much smaller this whole time on Oed. I just didn’t know it. And it’s taken rather dramatic events each time for me to realize how deeply I care about people here, and they me. And I think that’s a part of why I am struggling to articulate what Dash’s death is for me. It’s not just losing someone I was intimately involved with. It’s something so much deeper than that.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

“I think it’s perfectly natural to be lost considering the complexity of your relationships, be they romantic or otherwise.” Séan took another sip of his tea. It was a very pleasant blend and he made a mental note to ask Eela later where she got it. “Your experiences with your ex-husband has understandably guard your heart. I’m not sure of your relationships apart from him but I would think the nature of being assigned to different postings with Starfleet would make them transitory.”

Counselor Iven

She nodded. “Yes, it was always understood between myself and whomever I was involved with that I couldn’t maintain long-term relationships, especially given my agreement with Cory. It didn’t make some of them less intense or less special, but we were always aware of the limitations inherent.” She inhaled deeply and sighed. “I probably had my most… important, for lack of a better word, relationship while I was first officer on the Leeds. those were rough years, Séan. Our ship was involved in the second Borg invasion and the Battle of Sector 001, and of course the Dominion War. Those years were the times I was away from Cory and the kids the most, for their own safety. But it was lonely, so I let myself find companionship and comfort. But there was a trauma surgeon I connected with. It was… passionate. We used the canar frequently too. I had never had that experience before. And I was crushed when Rikell was killed in skirmish with the Jem’Hadar. But there was so much death that I needed a release from all the stress, so eventually I and our Chief Tactical Officer had sort of a ‘friends with benefits’ situation. We just both needed to be tethered while it felt like the universe was falling down around us. There were other before them, but far fewer after.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

His tea finished, Séan set it on the table in front of him then took a neutral posture with his hands in his lap. “All of that is something we’ll likely need to come back to later and try to unpack. Suffice to say you have definitely impressed upon me how vital it is you have connections with other people. My question to you is this, what do you think you need to be able to do that without overstressing your body, your mind, or running dry on energy?”

Counselor Iven

Eela sipped on her lukewarm coffee and was quiet for quite awhile as she gave his question deep consideration.

When she felt ready to speak, Eela drew in a deep and slow breath. “I’m not entirely sure. I do know that this week off will be… illuminating. Having time away from work will give me time for myself, for my needs, which we both know I’m terrible at recognizing until it’s too late. I do think, despite the energy output it will require, that Batarael will do more to ground myself in my body, in my community, and in the Universe itself, than just about anything else. There is a special ritual I was planning on, but we borrowed a piece of it to deal with the Kuskaaritz. Despite my trepidation, I think that ritual will be the key to unlocking a great deal of healing. And then there’s Dash’s memorial, or whatever it will be. Not sure how I feel about that, but that tiny piece of closure will help too.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

“It sounds like you’re ready to face the week ahead, at least as much as we can get you. I’m sure your medical care team will be monitoring you throughout for anything unforeseen that might pop up but call me at any time if you need me.” Séan said with a gentle smile. “Do you have any other concerns or topics that we should talk about?”

Counselor Iven

From her reclined position on the couch, Eela shook her head. “I think we have more than enough to come back to,” she said with a mirthless chuckle. “I appreciate you coming by, and I also know that this is all a process and we’ll have to pick things apart little by little. After Cory’s appearance I realized that I can’t pull at too many threads at a time, or else I wouldn’t make it through. That’s still true now, I think.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

Séan nodded with a look of sympathy. “Healing spiritually and mentally have a very direct similarity to physical healing. The therapy has to start off easy until the various hurts lessen enough to increase the intensity. We obviously don’t want to worsen things.”

Counselor Iven

“No we do not. There are too many people counting on me, too much I want to do here. I love what I do on Oed, Séan. I don’t want to mess that up but making myself more unstable, but nor do I believe that I can just skim the surface of all this and expect to make the progress I need. I haven’t been my whole true self in such a long time, if ever in my adult life. Certainly not in forty years. I need you to push me as needed, because I do know the rewards will be great.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

“I’m willing to give you the push you need but you have several events coming up that are going to push you enough as it is.” Séan said with a rare, stern look on his face. “Let’s get through the week first before we start the heavy unpacking. As you have these emotional and spiritual experiences we’ll meet, basically do a debrief, and unpack how you’re feeling at that moment in time. When the holiday, the funeral, and your heart-to-heart with Caridee has been completed is when we can afford to reassess and begin in earnest.”

Counselor Iven