Posted by Lieutenant Séan Iven (Counselor) in Eela’s Apartment- A New Place to Begin

Posted by Captain Eela Dasca (Lt. Governor) in Eela’s Apartment- A New Place to Begin

Posted by Lieutenant Séan Iven (Counselor) in Eela’s Apartment- A New Place to Begin
Posted by… suppressed (6) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

“This is an incredibly complex situation you find yourself in, as you’re definitely aware.” Séan stated the obvious with a sympathetic look. “If I can summarize everything as I currently understand it, and you can add to or correct anything I get wrong, then the core issue is that your mental health affects your physical health but similarly your physical health affects your mental health. Which adding on to that is the trauma of literally experiencing a loved one die, with the added physical impact that had on you. This business with the Vren consuming all of your energy, not only physical but mentally and emotionally as well. Your staff are carrying more of the administrative and diplomatic load than you intended, and despite their assurances and insistence that you take the time to recover you’re unable to keep from worrying about them and everything else. You’ve got a very complicated family thing going on that we’ll need to unpack at a later date but it still bears mentioning. This potential surgery will touch on every aspect that is causing you stress and what you care about.”

He paused to let that sink in and took a sip of his tea to wet his throat.

Counselor Iven

She let out a bitter chuckle, mindful of her coffee resting on the couch before her. Closing her eyes, Eela drew in a long breath before she looked at him again. “Well, when you put it that way.” She chuckled again. “I guess I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t care. It would be easier to just throw my hands up, think only of myself, and walk away, but that’s not who I am. Who I’ve ever been. And while I untangle the truths about my life as a result of that complicated family situation, and sometimes I have felt a stranger to myself, I have found myself remembering some key pieces. I know how I want to live my life and what I value. I think the key is trying to strike a balance between how I want to show up for others, including Oed and the Federation, but also not undermine my own needs. I did that for too long, out of fear, out of… obligation. But clearly I can’t do that anymore. Dash’s death might have been an extraordinary event- the same could be said of my accident- but it still is what I’m dealing with. I can’t ignore that. Clearly I’m being asked to pause and process, but despite all my years as a therapist, I won’t say it’s something that comes easily to me anymore.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

“I think all of us who’ve been counselors and therapists find that it’s so much easier to analyze a patient’s problems and devise a treatment plan that has the best chance of success. Who has the time for self-reflection when we have so many patients who need us? I’ve certainly been guilty of that.” Séan said with a slight grin. “Luckily those of us who have difficulty focusing on our own needs have others to give a light kick to the rear when necessary. This is going to be one of those times I’m afraid.”

He looked up and around the room they were sitting in for a moment as he thought of the best way to push forward. He sighed as he brought his eyes back to Eela and spoke with sincerity. “You have too many things on your plate and I don’t see a way that you’ll be able to balance them. Not in a way that’s satisfactory to your recovery. And your recovery is my priority for you above everything else. So the way I see this going is for us to figure out a ranking of priorities on what has to be accomplished while still allowing you the necessary time and care to recover.”

Counselor Iven

“Well, I’m off work for at least a week, so while it is hard I can actually put those concerns aside for now.” At least in practical terms. Eela knew there would always be a small part of her mind that would at least be aware of everything. “I do trust my team. They are excellent at their jobs. And the Governor and I have a remarkable working relationship and deep friendship. He’s been very adamant that i take this time for myself.”

“If we’re talking abut what’s left, well let’s see, the list is still pretty lengthy,” she said rather idly. “There’s Dash’s memorial or whatever. Don’t have a date on that yet but it’ll be sooner, probably in the next few days. And of course I’ll be there. There’s my best friend arriving in a couple days, which is a lovely surprise and I’m very much looking forward to. He was supposed to be coming for Batarael, the six-day Haliian holiday that is very important to me and starts next week. He’s arriving earlier because of Dash. But my daughter is also here for the holiday and to spend time with me, so her, her husband and their baby girl will be guests but also Caridee has bene planning the holiday with me. I did consider cancelling, but I’ve been looking forward to it for more than just social reasons. I haven’t celebrated in years and it has a deeply spiritual component to it that I have missed, that I need right now.” Lying there on the sofa, trying to be a good patient and protect her back, she threw up her upper arm. “And then there’s the inevitable conversation with my daughter about the fact that her father assaulted me. I mean, she knows. She found out via the video that was posted of him being escorted by security through the hotel. So that was fun, but the rest of the conversations that need to be had about, oh our whole lives together, will be a process for sure.” Eela couldn’t help the sarcasm. It felt good right now. She wasn’t ‘on’ and needing to project an image. “I could go on, but that seems like enough.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

“So if official duties can be handled in your absence then we need to determine whether everything else is within what you can handle or too much.” Séan said with a nod of understanding. “I can talk with Caridee about postponing that talk until a few more things are off the list. As things stand now I don’t recommend having it until you’ve recovered more emotionally. It is hard to say when that might be appropriate exactly but we’ll need to take it day by day and assess. The memorial will of course be important for you to attend as you’ll need some closure to things. Having visitors should be fine as long as you’re aware of your limits to socialize and emotionally cope with what I’m sure will bring good and bad feelings.” Séan paused as he thought of the holiday and the unknown components to that. Spiritually refreshing oneself was typically a positive thing for those who believed. “Tell me what usually happens during Batarael.”

Counselor Iven

Eela lit up, especially in her hazel eyes. “Batarael is a six-day celebration that is effectively our new year. It is about about reflection of our lives and the year that has passed, celebrating those in our life and our community and preparing ourself for the year to come. It’s a time of great connection, to ourselves and others.”

“Each day has a theme and Day One is Gather. Everyone gathers together with friends and family for an intimate candlelit dinner and the Horath is sung, thus officially started the festivities. There’s tons of food, music, stories. The gathering often goes into the early hours of the morning. Caridee and I have been planning the various pieces of Batarael since I first got here and she told me her and Kian were travelling out here to celebrate with me.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

Séan nodded again. “I think as long as everyone is aware that you’ll need frequent breaks and down time that it shouldn’t be a problem. Though I’m going to have a talk with Caridee to be extra observant of you. I have a distinct feeling that you’ll get swept up in the festivities not realizing that your battery is low until you crash.”

Counselor Iven

Eela laughed, but there was more amusement to it this time. “She’s already such a worrier, I doubt you’ll have to worry too much.” Her expression sobered. “She effectively played the role of my caregiver after the accident. Roger too, as much as he was able. But Caridee… my husband struggled to be at the hospital and my son wasn’t around too much. Even after I was released. from the hospital, I still needed help and Caridee was the one who was there. We’e always been close, and we still are, but…” She drew in a deep breath. “Sometimes I feel less like her mother, and more like her patient. Which the whole situation with the Kuskaaritz just exemplifies. I’ve always been extremely independent, Séan, which I think you can tell, and I can ask for and accept help, but being in a state where I can’t function on my own is very hard for me. And yet, I’m so grateful she was there. It could have been so much worse if she hadn’t.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

Séan listened carefully, nodding as Eela spoke about her daughter Caridee and the complex dynamics of their relationship. “It’s evident that Caridee loves you deeply and wants to do everything she can to support you,” he said gently. “But I can understand how it might be difficult to balance being grateful for her care with maintaining your sense of independence.”

He paused, considering his next words carefully. “It’s not uncommon for caregivers and their loved ones to experience a shift in roles that can be challenging to navigate. Your need for independence is a fundamental part of who you are, and it’s entirely valid to feel conflicted when circumstances force you to rely on others more than you’re comfortable with.”

“One way to address this might be to have an open conversation with Caridee about how you’re feeling. Acknowledge her invaluable support, but also express your need to maintain your independence where possible. You might find ways for her to help that don’t undermine your sense of autonomy, allowing both of you to adjust to a new balance that feels more comfortable.”

Counselor Iven

Eela nodded slowly. “In some ways my coming to Oed has forced some shifts, some reblancing as it were, but yes, you’re probably right. She’s going to be here awhile and we’re going to have to figure out that balance here in this new setting with these new variables.”

She took a sip from her mug, trying to not lift her body too much but it still caused her some mild pain. “I did have to explain some of my unease with all the help I’ve required from everyone to Karilan. I mean, it’s one thing to get help moving from one space to another, it’s quite another to need help dressing for the day. And I’m not embarrassed by having them help me, but I did express that I worried it might impact how we react if I sometimes got frustrated by the fact that it was necessary in the first place. They were lovely about it, as I expected, but something between us has been shifting lately and the whole thing with Dash and the Kuskaaritz has made it more pronounced, more obviously romantic. It certainly wasn’t intentional on either of our parts, but it’s something we’ll have to talk about when the moment is right.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.