Posted by Civilian Jezem (Upstanding Citizen) in Runnin’ From The Daylight (Tag Séan)

Posted by Lieutenant Séan Iven (Counselor) in Runnin’ From The Daylight (Tag Séan)

Posted by Civilian Jezem (Upstanding Citizen) in Runnin’ From The Daylight (Tag Séan)
Posted by… suppressed (32) by the Post Ghost! 👻
<snip>

Just let me know where. Jezem had puzzled over those words for a day or so. The counselor had his revenge by getting someone of his own to disrupt Jezem’s session. Though, the Orion did not doubt for a second that the counselor’s wicked streak ran deeper than mere Even Stevens. The counselor has proved himself to be clever and cunning and those parting words held deeper meaning. Jezem shot the following message to the counselor: Can we meet at your office again?

He doubted the counselor would let another person cut their session short twice in a row, but those words implied that he expected Jezem to change the location. He waited to see the response before calculating his next step.

Jezem

A simple, one word reply came back: Sure.

Counselor Iven

As before, Jezem arrived right on time. Dressed in his more expensive garments, his favorite gold gorget and shimmery gold and silver bracelets. His hair pinned back with gold pins. “Counselor,” Jezem greeted, tone cold. He did not take a seat right away.

Jezem

“Jezem. Welcome.” Séan smiled back at the Orion.

Counselor Iven

The orion held his ground, arms crossed in front of his chest, “Are you satisfied, counselor? Are the games over or do you hate your job that much?”

Jezem

Séan leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers together on top of his chest. “I quite enjoy my job. It’s very stimulating to navigate through a person’s problems and formulate a plan to help them overcome whatever it is they fear or are ashamed of. I also find it satisfying when a patient has a breakthrough and their life improves. That being said, I think it’s far more appropriate for me to ask if you’re done with the games. The back and forth can be entertaining but I’m not at all interested in a power struggle. Either we proceed as equals and in good faith or you’re wasting both of our time. Now please, have a seat.”

Counselor Iven

Jezem bared his teeth, his body tense, hands curled into fists, “Am I done with games? I did not come into our last session to play games. I came because I recognize that I needed help- that I needed your help.” He came on time. He came unguarded, without the armor of his finery and gold. Presented himself as calm and relaxed. Jezem wanted this to work. He wanted to find the path through the dark twists and turns of his mind and the counselor spat at his efforts. Jezem understood the drive for revenge. In any other context he would have commented the counselor for getting back at him.

The Orion’s hands trembled, “I came to you with an open mind and you betrayed that trust.” And now here he was. Guarded. Armored in silk and gold. Jezem wanted this to work but now he questioned if the answers he needed were really his to find.

Jezem

“You recognize that you need help, which is a fantastic step. You chose me to be that help, likely because it was expedient and my deal with Thyr affords you a decent amount of discretion. I’m not going to rehash everything from the beginning but we didn’t have the best of starts. Our first session started escalating in a way that would not have been productive for either of us. My superior arriving was happenstance but provided a good excuse to deescalate things.” Séan took a moment to let that linger before continuing. “I do apologize for the manner I utilized it though. Part of it was me getting you back for showing up unannounced, but another more important part is that I will not be intimidated. I can let a lot slide but that will not be one of them. So if you can agree that not utilizing intimidation in our sessions is a boundary you’re willing to respect, and do a clean slate from here on, so will I.”

Counselor Iven

While he spoke, Séan hadJezem’s full and complete attention. The Orion’s eyes cold and sharp as he processed the words and contemplated their worth. After a long, long pause Jezem’s hands relaxed and he took his seat. “A clean slate then,” Jezem wasn’t sure if he felt forgiveness. Not yet. But this was something he wanted and with the boundaries put in place the two of them could reestablish their positions.

Jezem couldn’t shake the clamp on his feelings. The unease racing through him. Jezem did not hide behind his walls, but defended them. As the humans said, offense was the best defense. How does he manage without that? He watched the counselor carefully and decided to let him take the first step.

Jezem

“Okay.” Séan said as he shifted forward into a more neutral sitting position. “What is your biggest fear?”

Counselor Iven

Jezem sat with a straight back and a stiff posture. A myriad of thoughts and answers popped into his head. Many. Too many. “Argam dying” But that wasn’t quite right, it wasn’t the greatest fear. Jezem did fear losing Argam, in any way. He couldn’t conceive of a life without his husband. Jezem didn’t fear death.

Jezem

“The fear of losing a loved one is natural.” Séan said with a nod. “Once in your life it’s hard to imagine it without them. Does this fear of losing Argam influence your actions and decisions?”

Counselor Iven

“I would do anything to keep him safe,” Jezem said without hesitation. Automatic. Impassioned. “I want to make him so happy that he can’t think of living without me.” Where Argam went so did Jezem. What Argam did, Jezem helped. “I make his meals, I help with his businesses, I keep his employees happy, I give him everything that is within my power to give.”

Jezem

Séan nodded again. “I can’t speak on having feelings nearly as intense as that, but it certainly sounds like you care deeply for him. Is he appreciative of your efforts?”

Counselor Iven

“Yes,” Jezem said. Argam loved him. He knew Jezem at his most selfish, most cruel and still found him worthy of love. “Argam. . .” Jezem trailed off, undecided if he could discuss the softness of husband’s love. “Argam is good for me and I try to be good for him. We get into little fights but we make-up. His only complaint is that Orion food is often too spicy for him. ” He played with one of his ring fingers, admiring the soft shine of the gold in the artificial light.

Jezem

“I wouldn’t expect your marriage to not have the occasional conflict but it’s great that you both can resolve your differences.” Séan paused for a moment in thought then decided to change the topic. “What’s another fear that you have? It doesn’t have to be your biggest but instead one that seems to linger in the back of your mind.”

Counselor Iven

The Orion looked away, his gaze locked on some unseen object far off. Gold laden fingers flexed against exposed thighs, nails lightly scratching emerald green skin. A life of covering secrets behind lies and obfuscation, hiding weakness behind violence and aggression screamed at him to take the offensive. What is your biggest fear, counselor? What thoughts keep you up at night? Fear that stalked the forests of memory, lingering where time has not worn the hurt. That kind of fear festers in the soul, rotting a body until it turns to poison.

Jezem’s nails dug into his thighs. Left deep green welts a hairs width away from breaking skin. He wasn’t sure he could give a name to that fear. A name would make it far too real. “Just how many fears am I to confess?”

Jezem

“As many as you’re comfortable with.” Séan replied simply. Knowing Jezem’s fears were helpful in maneuvering around his very convoluted mindscape but right now the reactions Jezem had were better for establishing a baseline. He needed to more certainly know the base Jezem, stripped of the various facades and laid bare. “Is talking about what terrifies you a difficult thing to do?”

Counselor Iven

“Is it easy for anyone?” Jezem answered, returning his gaze to Séan . This was safer, more comfortable territory. He considered his words carefully before speaking, “In some parts of this universe, revealing any weakness could mean your death. All it takes is one slip-up, one careless sentence and the next the dagger is in your back. I have learned to guard my weaknesses and to protect my back at all costs. Because even the one you loved and trusted above all could take your secrets to cut you down.” Jezem brought his breathing under control.

“So yes, it is difficult for me,” Jezem tried not to growl the words but didn’t quite succeed.

Jezem

Séan nodded in acknowledgement. “So would you say your easily shifting facades is a part of your guard? So much easier to play the fool or the petulant to drop someone else’s guard while keeping yours up.”

Counselor Iven

“Adapt to your surroundings,” Jezem said, a strange quality to his words. As if he were repeating something he heard instead of being his true words, “Learn how they think, see how they act then play to their expectations. Give them what they want and they’ll never see beneath the mask.” Jezem shrugged, “Expectations and perceptions are powerful tools. Personas and masks as valuable as any armor.”

Jezem

“Perceptions are especially powerful in counseling. It’s very common for patients to put forth the face they think the counselor wants to see. A good counselor has to be experienced and equipped with the knowledge necessary to see past that.” Séan added his perspective to counterbalance things.

Counselor Iven

Jezem hummed, acknowledging the counselor’s perspective. He wouldn’t be here if he thought the counselor incapable of discerning a mask from the real reality. Jezem could not always be forthright. Not when lies and deception came second nature to him. The Orion couldn’t even been honest with himself, and needed an outside voice to point out the lie he had sold to himself. “Sometimes I feel as though I am a room of mirrors. Reflections upon reflections upon reflections.”

Jezem

“So then we need to identify each ‘you’ and then determine which is still useful to keep and which are superfluous.” Séan laid out what he felt was a good first step.

Counselor Iven

“And how do we go about that?” Jezem asked.

Jezem

“Well so far I’ve seen you be friendly and congenial, cold and calculating, aggressive and intimidating, petulant and spoiled, and for just a brief moment… scared.” Séan described each facet that he observed. “What are you like with Thyr?”

Counselor Iven

“Commanding or bossy if you asked him. It’s his fault for still treating me like his captain. I don’t know, sometimes friendly. We watch Orion soap operas together. He used to pretend he hated them but now he’s hooked. All I have to do is mention a new episode and he appears. Our relationship is different than before. We fought back then, sometimes because he annoyed me. Or because we wanted to vent. Now when we fight we talk about our feelings between punches. It’s weird. He’s annoying and paranoid and I want to trust him with managing his own affairs but he gets in over his head and I have to step in before he drowns because the s’loh won’t learn to swim before getting into the deep end.”

Jezem

“Have you kept tabs with any of the other crew you had under you?” Séan asked, hoping to determine if Thyr was singled out for a reason other than he had been in trouble.

Counselor Iven

“No and I haven’t heard from them either. I hadn’t thought about Thyr until he came up behind me spitting my name into my ear. Sisters, he was a mess. Wearing clothes that looked like he looted them from a donations bin and the haircut of a Starfleet cadet that lost a battle with a buzzer. He said he needed a place to lay low and I called in a favor to get him a simple gig. Once he had enough money he planned to take the next ship off the colony. Except then someone from his past came along, he got hurt. . .

“It was bad. He would have bled out and died if I had not intervened. Then. . . well he told me just how bad things were and I knew if I let him leave like he planned then he’d die out there. Thyr can take care of himself, but by the Sisters he could never grasp how deep the waters were.”

Jezem

Séan nodded solemnly. He had heard stories of the cruelty the Syndicate were capable of. They were willing to mess with Starfleet if the gain was big enough or the enmity deep enough, but usually stayed within their own sphere of influence and intrigues. “Thyr hasn’t told me what happened beyond a job that went sideways, and I’m not sure I want to know, but by your estimate how badly do they want him?”

Counselor Iven

Jezem wondered if Séan grasped the true ‘they’ after Shivan. He didn’t doubt for a second that the Andorian accidentally dropped that it was the Syndicate after his hide. How much of his own affiliation did he wish to reveal? Did it matter what Séan knew when Jezem himself was too deep into this mess? Shivan’s crimes were his too because by not turning him in Jezem was just as guilty. “How badly? It’s not a matter of how badly they want but a matter of “principal”. Orions value loyalty. It is absolute. The punishment for breaking that loyalty is steep. They are after Thyr to make him into an example. A reminder that there is no escaping your debts.” Betray the Syndicate and they will not be satisfied by one traitor’s death. The traitor, their family, their friends, their colleagues, on and on until the Syndicate decided the debt was paid.

Jezem

“Let me rephrase my question then. How much effort are they willing to put into finding him to make that example?” Séan asked with a bit of concern. “He has already told me that my association with him will make me a target if they find him, hence the random meeting locations and all, but if I’m a target then obviously so are you.”

Counselor Iven

Jezem had spent far too long pondering the same thing and this was his best estimate, “Thyr is but one man. A man they want but one they would not be in any rush to find. Thyr wasn’t exactly someone important to them, nor did he know any dangerous secrets. He kept his head down and that is honestly one of the best things I can say about him. He minded his own business and did what he was told.

“The most likely scenario is that they outsourced the job to trusted contractors and posted bounties where they last tracked his real name to. A nice little net that’s efficient and cost effective. Thyr wouldn’t be worth an expensive and involved headhunt. Unless he was the bastard son of someone really important, or had sex with said important person’s family member. So long as they feel confident they’ll find him eventually then all they have to do is sit back and wait patiently.

“As far as I’ve been able to learn they are not active in this stretch of space, likely due to the Federation and Starfleet’s presence. There is nothing of exceptional note out here nor is there the kind of criminal markets that they would want to stick their fingers into nor any opportunities to exploit. Thyr’s fake identity is solid and whatever loose ends he may have left have been since cleaned up by myself.

“The effort comes when they find him. That is when the hells erupt and the seven rivers rise to drown the damned.”

Jezem

Séan nodded solemnly. That sounded very bad, the part after the Syndicate finds Thyr, but at least the relative safety on Oed was decent. Though… “Aren’t you one of the damned to be drowned though?”

Counselor Iven

Jezem shot Séan a an annoyed look, “Worry less about me and more about yourself. Like planning for an emergency vacation that you’ll forget to tell anyone about and whoops, you’ll also forget to mention where you’d be. Should Thyr have any unfriendly visitors I’ll alert you.” It wasn’t like Jezem and Argam hadn’t already discussed it to death twice. Argam, too kind for his own good, was adamant they help Shivan. Jezem hadn’t been so sure at first. Argam’s safety came first and the Syndicate would not hesitate to hurt his husband if it would hurt Jezem. The two agreed they should help Shivan however they could for as long as they could.

Jezem

Séan rested his chin on his hand and gave Jezem a placid look. “Forgive me if this comes across as bravado, but joining Starfleet means preparing yourself for death. Maybe not a grisly, torturous one at the hands of nasty people but all the same going into space carries risks. Helping people can carry risks too.” His voice trailed off softly as he fought the urge to reach down and rub his thigh. “If you’re so worried about my well-being though, why didn’t you attempt to scare me off?”

Counselor Ivan