Posted by Lieutenant Commander Sharah Fayth (Chief Star Fleet Medical Officer) in Managing Dual Personalities

Posted by Lieutenant Tandra Mika (Counselor) in Managing Dual Personalities

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Sharah Fayth (Chief Star Fleet Medical Officer) in Managing Dual Personalities
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻
Sharah left the house in a swirl of blue lights, appearing outside the hospital. She bounded up the stairs two at a time, and hearing the tell-tale thoughts that she must be hurrying because something was wrong, she slowed her pace trying to keep mindful of her own feelings and not the ones that weren’t hers. She clasped her hands behind her back as she walked the corridors, resisting the urge to shake them as if she’d discharged some static electricity. Her first instinct was to go to her office, lock the door and call Korczak. The man was incredibly busy as the head of the Academy counseling program. If he couldn’t answer or had no time, Sharah would just be left where she was. He was always telling her to make connections, well she did…and this one backfired....that made her want to laugh, but she knew if she did it would be on the hysterical side. She paced the corridor thinking, rolling her shoulders and shaking her hands whenever she was sure the corridor was empty.

She turned into the stairwell suddenly and used the three flights to the counseling unit to try and rid some of the excess energy. Mika wasn’t in her office. Sharah closed her eyes and counted slowly for a breath. =/\=Fayth to Mika. Could I need to see your office as soon as possible....please=/\=

Fayth, SFCMO

=/\= I’m on my way back. Hang on, Fayth, I’m on my way. =/\= Mika replied near instantly, picking up the urgency in her friend’s voice. It was near fifteen minutes later that she showed up coming down the hallway, breathing hard like she’d jogged or maybe run here. She unlocked her office and ushered Fayth inside. “What’s wrong?”

~ Lt Mika, CNS

Sharah had been pacing in an empty room at the end of the corridor and when she felt Mika nearby she had moved toward her office. Once inside she began pacing again. She gave the impression of a 4 year old who had been given several shots of espresso. “I don’t want to put you in this position, Tandra. I know you’re seeing Eela on my recommendation. You’ll be seeing her after all this, and I don’t want to influence your perspective before you see her. And you’re my friend. I really don’t want to cross that line…I have so few that really know me.”

Her voice cracked with clear heartache, even as she continued to pace, shake her hands out, roll her shoulders and her neck. “I know you’re trained to handle those lines and relationships, but I really need your friendship.” She met Mika’s gaze for a moment, “that’s why I kept my appointments with Korczak. Your friendship is to precious to me. I need it separate.” Then she started laughing, a happy giddy sound, but was unnerving and off in it’s suddenness and contrast.

It did bother Mika that Sharah had never asked her for help when she needed it. But she also understood the want for a separate friend and therapist. If Mika hadn’t worked on a starship, that would be the ethical standard. Mika smiled kindly and shrugged, trying to hide her hurt about the topic. “I know, Sharah, I know… You don’t have to justify it to me.”

Oh but she did. Her choice hurt Mika and she hadn’t meant it that way. Mika’s friendship was more important, more valuable. It wasn’t that Sharah didn’t value Mika’s expertise, far from it. She thought Mika was brilliant. She had been Sharah’s mentor, doctor, most importantly her friend. Honestly Mika had never been her therapist so she hadn’t thought about that. Really, it was a compliment that Sharah thought of her as a friend only.

She slammed her back against the wall and stared up at the ceiling, “That’s not even what’s wrong.” She thumped her head against the wall a couple of times, tears slipping down her cheeks. She started pacing again. “I’m in crisis I think, but I can’t wait to call Korczak. I know everything that has happened is about Eela and not about me. I’m not trying to lessen what’s happened or ignore her struggle, but I need help, and no one can help me.” She leaned against a different wall and then sank to the floor. She hung her head, elbows on her upraised knees and her hands laced together behind her neck.

Sharah

“Let me help you.” Mika crouched in front of her on the floor, looking at her with an intense gaze. “Sharah. I know it’s not ideal for you, but you know I can help you. You can talk to me today, and tell me what’s wrong, and then you can continue your regular visits with Commander Korczak. I can send him my notes, if you want. Okay?”

~ Lt Mika, CNS

“I know you can, that’s why I’m here.” She started to laugh again and she punched the floor, gritting her teeth to make herself stop. “I’m drowning in it, it doesn’t stop. It’s like treading water in a hurricane. Then instead of just standing in the storm, someone just dunks me under. They don’t do it to be mean, but they do it because they need to. They don’t think about what happens to me. It’s not their concern, it’s not even on their radar.” Sharah stood suddenly, pacing, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “I get caught up in other people’s emotions, their desires, their hopes, their fears, their happiness. It happens sometimes, I become too attached, too invested. I can’t stop it no matter how much I want to. It’s in me and I can’t get rid of it.” Sharah threw herself down onto the couch, hard enough she bounced a little. “I can’t live like this anymore.” Her tone indicated more than just a choice to alter her habits and behaviors but something much much more final.

Fayth, SFCMO

Mika stayed on the ground, sitting against the wall herself. She thought it would help more if she remained calm, not feeding into the anxious, hyper energy Sharah was showing. “I know it’s hard to…” But then Sharah plopped herself down on Mika’s little chaise sofa and said that. Mika rushed to her feet in fear for her friend, “Sharah no!”

She needed to take a deep breath and calm herself. That response wasn’t going to help her or Sharah. Sharah was her best friend though, and the thought of her doing something so… final, so selfish… No! Mika wouldn’t let her do that, as a counselor and as a friend. But the way she’d be of the most help right now was as a counselor and that was the face she needed to put on now. “I’m sorry. My emotions got away from me…”

Sharah would be able to feel Mika was doing a poor job hiding her fear, but she wanted Sharah to know how much she cared. She took a deep breath, sat in a chair across from Sharah, and gave Sharah her level, counselor’s look. “Did something happen to make you feel this way? I know you were doing well before.”

~ Mika, CNS