Posted by Civilian Karilan Massat (Owner, Quill and Parchment Books) in Unpacking More Than Books -

Posted by Captain Eela Dasca (Lt. Governor) in Unpacking More Than Books -

(snip)

The question caught her off guard and she was genuinely surprised, not the least of which was that Kenzo had lost control of his emotions. Eela didn’t even have to speak for Karilan to know without absolute certainty the answer to their question. And yet, she knew she’d have to explain, not because she owed anyone that explanation, but because she trusted Karilan and she suspected they would understand in a way others might not. So Eela nodded slowly, leaning in closer.

“It wasn’t planned, that was for sure, and I believe that the heart is infinitely capable of many kinds of love with many different people. But…” Her hazel eyes shimmered. “I’m Haliian, and it’s so hard to explain what that means sometimes, but without connection in all its forms we suffer. The truth is that when I told you that I hadn’t been with anyone save for one night since my accident, that included my husband, Karilan. And I’ve been so uncertain about my body all these years that despite how much I want something wonderful to happen with Dash and I, I think I was holding back because I didn’t trust myself, didn’t trust my body.” She smiled softly. “Even if he hadn’t given me the tremendous gift of helping me feel connected to my own body again, Kenzo and I have a deep friendship that is hard to explain. The job we have is so large, so difficult some days, it’s not unlike the bonds people experience in a war zone, which I’ve experienced. Some days it feels like the two us against the galaxy, desperately trying to make sure neither us nor anyone around us drops a key piece that will make everything crumble. And, as they say, it’s lonely at the top. “

Karilan stared blankly for a moment and then shrugged and picked up their wine. “On top would probably be easiest on your back.” and took a drink with a wicked gleam in their eye.

“Oh, I’ve got it worked out, don’t you worry,” she tossed back.

Eela pulled back and sipped her juice before leaning back in with a tiny smirk. “Also, not going to lie, there was also a significant amount of alcohol involved. He has one I call Evil Green, and for good reason.”

~Eela

“Oh, I will have to ask for some then.” they replied. “He invited me to dinner to thank me for helping. I tried to decline but he is rather… intense.” and they snickered. “As I guess you know.” and they smiled. “I will not breathe a word. But I will tease you. Because that is ah-mazing. And I’m very happy for you. And I hope that bodes will for you and-” and they started singing “- Mister. Mister Joh-ones.” and then they laughed.

Karilan

Eela laughed. “Oh stop,” she said, even as she couldn’t help but beam. “I invited him over after I got home… Dash I mean. I felt it… necessary to let him know what all happened, because this is almost starship sized baggage I’m dragging along with me now. But…” She couldn’t help the giddy grin that traipsed across her face. “He’s just so unfazed by it all even though he knows it’ll be an up and down sort of thing. I think I can actually call our evening a proper date and it’s been long, long time since I’ve had one of those. Even a bit before my accident. I think I’ve missed dating,” she said matter-of-factly. Some people were terrified of dating, but Eela relished the process of meeting and getting to know new people. It helped that she never went on dates with people she didn’t have at least a rudimentary connection with.

“So is Dash not going to be a solo act, then?” and they grinned. “Or are you saving room for Asian cuisine?” and they laughed.

Eela laughed, which lately felt like a precious commodity. She leaned in, her eyes glittering. “I make no promises either way, but all I can say is that after navigating a complicated semi-monogamous marriage for forty-years, I’m happily sampling from the buffet.”

“Oh, and when the Governor invites you to dinner, my dear, you go.” Eela smiled. “He doesn’t offer unless he finds someone he believes worthy of getting to know better. It’s the sincerest sign of respect you’ll get from him.”

~Eela

Karilan nodded. “I did agree. He was very insistent.” and then their face froze and they said “He wasn’t meaning a date was he? I… I couldn’t. No.” and then they took a drink and then a breath. “No. He is not the kind to couch a dinner invitation as a way of asking someone on a date subtly.” and she looked at Eela. “Is he?” they asked.

Karilan

Eela reached out and rested her hand on theirs, taking a slow and steadying breath while radiating calm. “No, he’s not. He’s very forthright in most matters. He and I can tease each other much more subtly, but we know each other well. It’s different and he would never want to make you uncomfortable.” Kenzo had too much respect, both for himself and those around him, to intentionally do anything of the sort. He was a man of principle.

“If you really aren’t comfortable going, Karilan, then don’t. I think he will understand. But, and this is just me extrapolating, it’s hard for people in our position to find those we can trust enough to let into our inner circles. I think he’s willing to trust you because you and I have such a trusting relationship. He knows this simply by my request for you to find my father’s book alone. I think for him that’s all he needs to know.”

~Eela

Karilan turned their hand and held Eela’s looking intently at her as she spoke. “Well… if thst is the case… I apparently have dinner plans day after tomorrow.” and they chuckled. They squeezed her hand for a long moment, just looking at her, and then let go. “I have no idea what to wear.” and they laughed.

Karilan

Eela laughed as well, her hands still warm from the contact. “Just be your usual dapper self. It’s not a black-tie affair- we’re saving that for the Vren. But if you need suggestions or reassurance, call me tomorrow and show me what you’re thinking of.”

“Though I will say, I’ve never complained about an opportunity to dress up and the gown I have for the gala is…” She shook her head. “I have never felt so beautiful and powerful in the same moment. I know clothing can portray many things and help us express that, but it’s pretty extraordinary for a swath of fabric.”

~Eela