Posted by Captain Eela Dasca (Lt. Governor) in Tenkiller’s House- Tipping Points

Posted by Civilian Kenzo B’tren-Hyrushi (Governor) in Tenkiller’s House- Tipping Points

Posted by Captain Eela Dasca (Lt. Governor) in Tenkiller’s House- Tipping Points
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Kenzo didn’t reply. But he did something he never did… to anyone.

He stepped up to her and took her in an embrace and dropped (most) of the barriers he maintained. He flooded her with concern, support, understanding… and love. A deep, soulful love not born of attraction or desire… but of deep commitment and respect. She was his partner… his friend like no other… and he shared all her feelings at that moment. Her anger. Her sadness at the ugliness that her once-love had inflicted. Her disappointment in Cory… and her fear of what this would do to her children. Kenzo became an emotional sponge. It was… he was not supposed to be able to do something like this. Sure, empaths could sense and some could even project emotions. Kenzo was actually absorbing some of hers. Not taking it away, that was impossible. But the sharp edges of her whirlwind of feelings were rounded off and made… more manageable.

Her surprise was obvious. Their deep respect for each other had been obvious to her after they had settled into working together, and had shown that to her on many occasions, but Kenzo was not what one would call an affectionate man. At least not in day-to-day interactions. Even their playful banter about riské subjects had its limits. There was a firm line and they did not cross it. Strangely, this was not crossing any line either. It was more like this whole situation had prompted a shift of the line. So as he mentally softened the pieces of her that were so like her broken vase, Eela let him. She sank into his embrace in something akin to an emotional sigh.

When he finally, after what seemed like forever but was in fact just a minute or two, released her; his obsidian eyes were wet with tears and rimmed in red. He had quite literally taken her pain and made it his own. His hands still on her shoulders, he said “Better?”, his voice the same even and nonplussed cadence it always was.

Kenzo, Eela’s Friend

It was so strange to see him this way, a mirror to her own experience. For a moment she could see and understand how the others had been experiencing her chaos and it only made her more grateful to all of them. Eela reached up and touched her hand to his face. It was brief but filled with intense gratitude.

She nodded. Eela wanted to say he hadn’t needed to do that, but that was the point, right? None of them had had to do anything but secure her physical safety. The rest was the result of a simple truth coming to light: she was home.

Eela took a moment to grab her smoothie and take a sip, smirking. “I have been ordered to eat. But I can still chat. The den is just over here.”

She moved inside and took a seat where awhile ago she had fallen to entirely apart. It felt like it had been days ago when really it had only been a couple hours at most. “When I told you about the Khari and the aftermath where I was not okay, I told you my feelings didn’t feel safe with him. That moment in my apartment was just like that, but somehow worse, because a part of me feels like I should have seen it coming. I know it’s not true, but well, I don’t think we’re expecting my emotions to necessarily make sense right now. But oh it was so stealthy. I’ve fought in a war, I’ve faced the Borg, and nothing made me feel so terrified as being in that situation with him. But it’s not him I was terrified of, Kenzo. It was me. I was worried about what I would do next if he didn’t leave. And it made me hate him so intensely for encouraging me to be afraid of myself. He was so good at what he did he got me to gaslight myself into thinking I was making a big deal of nothing. Sharah said he probably didn’t even realize what he was even doing. I think she’s right. But it was still an extraordinary performance.”

~Eela

Kenzo sat, the composed and placid expression returned and firmly affixed to his countenance. “Realization or no, there is no excuse for… that.” The amount of derision in that last, single word was like a waterfall of loathing. “And you did nothing to deserve it; nor did you make a mistake or miss anything. You have nothing to blame yourself for, Eela. You did what was proper in offering to hear him out. He was the one who invaded your space, your home… your existance here. And for one to do so with no concept of what they are doing is simple narcissistic behavior.” He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled.

Eela’s instinct was to interject, to qualify events, but she stopped herself. Wasn’t that the whole issue? For three and a half years her confused mind had been turned on itself. She blamed herself for so many things, even if it was a subtle as letting someone off the hook for whatever. Because of course she couldn’t do anything right, right? Wasn’t that what she had written down with Sharah and shared with Tandra. So, she could try to argue with Kenzo but she was going to have to go through the process of unlearning a negative self-concept that had snuck in when she wasn’t even looking. That was going to take time. Perhaps a lot of it.

She just sighed.

“Now. Do you wish to discuss what transpired after his removal from your home? Or would you prefer to wait… or not know at all, even. And no, no physical harm of any kind befell him… regardless of how many requests were made for it.”

Kenzo

The easy answer was no, she didn’t want to know. Plausible deniability and all that. What happened after he was removed from the building had not involved her. However, reality struck just as hard and what she didn’t know about she couldn’t adjust for and couldn’t factor into the reactions of others. “Well, I’m grateful people listened to my request. I understand why they might no, but adding more violence to the situation would not help. I don’t want to know. I would rather just push him from my mind and try to move on. But I have some decisions to make in the coming days and I might need that information. I’m not ready for it now. So, send me a message, tell me later, however you like. But after I’ve returned home, or the office, whichever comes first. I suspect I’ll be in a better place to deal with the information. Tenkiller told me he’s gone and that’s enough for me right now.”

~Eela

“He is. And he will not be coming back.” Kenzo said with a finality that was as if the gods themselves had spoken.

Eela nodded. It seemed to be the general consensus and everyone’s surety helped a great deal.

He looked at her and said “Very well… do you wish to talk about what transpired from your perspective? Or would you like to simply rest?” He did glance down at the smoothie and then back up at her expectantly.

Kenzo

Again, choices. Earlier she couldn’t make the simplest choice but now, between everyone’s kindness, the massage and bath, and Kenzo’s gift of ease Eela was more clear-headed. At least about some things. She gazed off through the transparent wall, sipping her smoothie and gave him a ‘happy, now?’ expression.

“I don’t want to, but even though I’m exhausted I don’t think I’ll sleep unless I walk through it.” That and she would tell him at some point anyway. Might as well be now. “Be warned, this might take a bit.”

She drew in a steadying breath. “So, I was finishing something up on the patio and waiting for Jal’na to arrive for physio and Ensign Haskins called up saying I had an unexpected visitor, which could happen but it wasn’t someone who had been there before. He tells me it’s Cory and I said I’d come down. There was no way I was just going to let him come up.” Eela sipped her smoothie. “The thing is that Cory and I had a system since the separation. We could ping one another and request a chat or give a heads up that we were sending a message, but we weren’t to surprise each other. It was entirely our own decision if we wanted to contact the other back. And that’s how we kept things amicable. Well…” She gave a lopsided frown. “As amicable as we could.

“I go down and he’s there and… Kenzo he was happy to see me and that just put me on edge. He said that since the divorce he had been doing a lot of thinking and that he came to realizations he needed to share with me. But that he felt had to be shared in person. He asked for ten minutes and I relented. I could handle ten minutes of whatever he was going to say. So Haskins clears him and we go up. And”-she gave a sharp chuckle-“he’s surprised by all the security, as if he really doesn’t understand what I do now and who I am here.

“I let him in and we sit on opposite couches in the living room and he starts telling me how that conversation-” She interrupted herself and sighed. “I requested a call the day we got the decree. Sort of so we could both acknowledge that this was it. And it was good. Sad, bittersweet. But there were no insults or tempers from either of us. He apologized for causing me pain, and I knew he meant it even if I couldn’t accept it from him. He did ask for a moment of honesty between us, which is what we used to ask when were discussing aspects of the non-monogamous times of our marriage. Which is a different topic but relevant. Anyway, he brings up how that conversation felt like us again and how much he missed me.

“I was so indignant. I pointed out that I had been with him that whole time. And he acknowledged that and said he wasn’t his best self and that the divorce somehow reset things for him?” She felt that earlier confusion so vividly. For her, the divorce had been a release, if a hard one. “I got up and moved towards the foyer because being even that close was confusing. His emotions were so hopeful like of course I would see it the way he would. So I asked hypothetically what he expected. Was he going to move to Oed and we could start again? And he waffled.” She let out a bitter laugh. “He doesn’t understand that his ex-wife if a woman of power and responsibility. I always was! But I don’t…” Eela shook her head. “I don’t think he ever truly understood what I did, or how I did it. The cost of it. He saw how it affected him, not what my service to others gave to everyone. So I basically told him I wasn’t interested in starting over with him. That I am happy here as I am, without him. That our marriage had become toxic and we were both better off. And that is when he asked me if I was with Roger now. Because he and I had one night together that I confessed to Cory during our call about the divorce and he seemed to now make assumptions, even though it was counter to anything he knew about me over the last forty years. I said no, but oh the jealousy, Kenzo! Never in our entire marriage had there ever been jealousy. You can’t have an open marriage during periods of your life with jealousy you don’t express and deal with. And it was never our issue. But it was Roger and he understands that that man is an unmovable person in my life. He will always have a place in mine. Roger gets me in a way that I don’t think Cory really did. I told Cory Roger and I weren’t together, but I really don’t think he believed me. Then he ask if there is anyone else, as if I was somehow obligated to tell him anything, which I reminded him was none of his business, and that even if there was I wasn’t interested in monogamy. That the arrangement he and I had when married wouldn’t work for me now in the situation I was in. I told him to go find someone who wanted to be with him the way he wanted them to. And that’s when I told him he could let himself out and I turned to walk away.”

She took a moment to sip on her smoothie, trying to breathe and steady her rising emotions. But true to Kenzo’s earlier efforts they weren’t so overwhelming. Eela set the smoothie down on the table and moved the short sleeve of her t-shirt to reveal the now darkening imprint on her bicep. “I felt his desperation a moment before I felt pain and turned to look back at him only to see that it was him who was causing me the pain.” She gazed at the marks, the clear thumb on top, and she turned her arm a little to where the pads of the rest of his fingertips had dug in. Eela looked back at Kenzo, her eyes misty. “It was like we were actors who had been given a script for parts we didn’t realize we had been asked to play. We just… froze. And he was still gripping my arm so I told him to remove his hand or I would since I could still defend myself. He let go and I told him to leave. He tried apologizing saying he hadn’t meant it to happen and I lost it. I yelled that I didn’t care what he meant. That he and I were done for good. I didn’t want to see him ever again. And then…”-her right hand closed in a tight fist-“then he tried to use the family we created together as some reason I should reconsider! And that’s when I threw a vase of flowers on the floor,” she said, her voice quietening. That uncomfortable rage. That rage that felt dangerous, unpredictable. Eela shook her head.

“The next thing I knew, four agents in tactical gear stormed in, and Agent V’ter asked me if everything was okay. I said it was not and that they should escort him out.” Eela knew her mind was very muddled in those moments, that it had been hard to process anything. But something suddenly made more sense. She slapped a hand to her mouth to stifle the laugh but it escaped anyway.

“Oh my god,” she said, laughing. “Hasid gave Cory two options! Go quietly or…” Eela laughed harder. “Have flying lessons. He even told me I could insist on option two myself.” Was it just as funny back then in that moment, or only now that she had distance from it all? Eela fell against the soft back of the couch, laughing, hand trying to suppress it, because it should not be a funny situation. But right now it was hilarious! “It would only take them four or five times to get him through the window!” Tears streamed down her face and this time they were only partly from sadness.

~Eela

Kenzo didn’t laugh, but he did nod in satisfaction. “I believe a comm3ndation is in Agent V’ter’s future. My only regret is that we did not get a definitive answer to the question of how many tries would have been necessary.” There was definitely a touch of mirth in Kenzo’s words, and the corners of his mouth turned ever-so-slighty up in a small grin… but there was an air about him that said there was more than a kernel of truth in his words.

Kenzo