Posted by Major General Charles Tenkiller (Vice-Commander, Colonial Customs and Defense Agency) in Safe Harbors

Posted by Civilian Yavia Crockett (Nurse - Sacred Heart Hospital) in Safe Harbors

Posted by Major General Charles Tenkiller (Vice-Commander, Colonial Customs and Defense Agency) in Safe Harbors
Posted by… suppressed (24) by the Post Ghost! 👻
Sharah had the most important things she needed, and it wasn’t like she couldn’t stop and get whatever she wanted from a merchant on her way home. Or tell the computer and it would be delivered. But there were personal things she wanted though, and as she stood staring at the dresser drawer she realized a week’s worth of uniforms wasn’t quite the same as a week’s worth of normal everyday clothes. She slipped into a pair of jeans and soft cotton, off the shoulder shirt. Plus the plants she had back in her apartment had to be cared for. She couldn’t just leave them. She also had her next appointment with Korczak. It was her day off, so she’d have time.

She made her way upstairs, and it was quiet. Yavia was at practice and she could feel TK in his studio. She didn’t want to bother him, but she thought she should at least tell him she was going out incase he went looking for her later. She walked through the den and over to the door and knocked softly. “Umm…Charles, I’m going out…I’ll probably…be gone awhile.”

Sharah

There was a brief moment of silence and then the door opened. Charles was in jeans and barefoot with no shirt on. His hands were covered in a bright array of colorful specks of paint, and some had gotten on his chest. In one hand was a paint brush,in the other a painter’s palate covered in bright colors. He smiled at Sharah and said “Hey! Ok, no worries. I’ll be here if you need me. Just call and I’ll come a’runnin’.” and he chuckled.

Tenkiller

Oh he looked good like that. Slightly disheveled, boyish happiness, and all male. Sharah shook her head and grinned, “Oh I know you will. Just…” her grin turned slightly mischievous, “make sure you put clothes on. Don’t think you wanna go running around the fleet barracks in your birthday suit.” She kissed him, attempting to avoid the paint splatters.

Sharah

He laughed and said “Naw… this show-” and he stepped back and did a slow turn with his arms stretched out and a grin on his face, “- is just for you and V. I promise no nude streaking through Fleet facilities.”

Tenkiller

Sharah let out a slow wolf whistle as he turned. “Oh that’s good, because I think Yavia’s bat might get a little too much practice if you did.” She stepped back before she decided distraction with him was better than doing what she needed to do. “Shoo,” she waved him back into his studio, “or I might not let you get back to it.”

Sharah

He grinned and turned to walk back into the studio. He stopped at the door and looked at her. “You got this, Sharah. I believe in ya. But if you need me, just call. Love ya, gorgeous.” and he winked at her and walked back the piece he was working on, humming softly.

Tenkiller

His words made her unfathomably happy. He and Yavia both, kept telling her that over and over. Eventually, Sharah would be able to remind herself of those things. She left out the front door, choosing to walk and think, rather than take the car service.

After their dinner date, things had gotten much harder as the noise and storms returned, seemingly with a vengeance. Sharah had become withdrawn, losing that playfulness and flirtatiousness (it was there, just buried so deeply it couldn’t breathe or see the light of day). She wasn’t as severe withdrawn as she had been before. But it was quite obvious now how much it took out of her. She spent a lot of time in her room, the need to be still, to decompress, the feeling of the plants growing in the soil above her became a haven. Sometimes she closed the door, a lot of times she left it open. It was a small gesture, but some days it was the only one she could make to ensure they knew she wasn’t hiding or shutting them out. She didn’t sleep well and so had tried sleeping in her room because she didn’t want to wake them. That had been totally unacceptable to both Yavia and Charles, and surprisingly (to Sharah anyway) she slept better being next to them. Sometimes it was so bad all she could do was cry, others were easy and she was present and active and lively in their combined life. But always she was worn down and tired. Things were also different, with her, with her condition, and she couldn’t quite put her finger on how.

These thoughts bounced around in her head as she walked. She was surprised to already find herself a block from her old apartment. Wasn’t that strange? It was her old apartment. The line was short at the coffee stand, and remembering the last time she was there she seriously considered not getting a hot chocolate, but it was an indulgence, and she wasn’t quite ready to return yet.

Sharah

Sharah waited quietly in the line, and then taking her hot chocolate with her she walked the last block to the building where her quarters were. She was grateful the security officer at the door didn’t ask any questions about where she had been. Of course she worked a lot of long and odd hours. She moved through the beige and grey corridors until she reached her door. She stood there staring at it before finally placing her hand to the lock and stepping in.

A week and half away from this place had given Sharah a new perspective. Well being away from this place and the influence of the two most significant people in her life. She stepped through the door and it hissed to a close behind her. She let her eyes scan the room and take in what she was seeing. Taking a step back from being in it, to looking at it from outside. Oh, she’d been in trouble. She’d known that though, it’s why she’d reached out to Korczak, but this was....Sharah shook her head. No wonder Charles and Yavia had been so insistent on getting her out of there. She had known but hearing the thought was much different than being able to understand it.

Sharah wandered the apartment at first, just taking it in. This was not her…when…no how had she let this happen? She took a breath, time for that question later, and not here, not alone among…whatever this was. She walked over to the table and found a PaDD on it. She had to start somewhere. She picked it up and turned it on.

Sweetheart, at some point you are going to come back here. Maybe we’ll be with you, maybe you’re alone, or maybe it’s with someone else. But don’t sit in the silence. Get out of your head a bit, okay. So before I followed you and TK out of here, I put together a playlist for you. Listen to it, feel the beat and listen to the words, and let it fill you up. Then when you’re done, listen to the very last song, and come home to us, okay.

I love you, Sharah.

Yavia

Sharah grinned. Yavia never ceased to surprise her. She opened the file and connected it to the speakers in the room and let the music play. Then she made a call to ops asking for some transporter tags, and anti-grav sled, and storage crates. The very first thing she did was check her plants. The ones outside would be fine, but these…some were in need of water, some were going to need a lot more than that. The seedlings Charles had planted were doing well, the seeds hadn’t broke the surface yet. The memory made her ache and she cried a little, but it was a good cry.

Then she began to pick up the chaos and actually listen to the music. The sketches, paper, pencils and other clutter on the floor was scooped up in large stacks and put on the table to sort. The table ended up being a total mess, but she thought it was better to sit there than on the floor amongst the chaos. About half way through the list, Sharah laughed. Each song had been carefully chosen and the order as well. Yavia’s point was quite clear. She was in the process of collected the clothes scattered like so much trash about the room when the chime on the door rang.

“Hello, ensign. Just place them there.” She pointed just inside the door. Spotting the pots and seed trays, “You helping set up another garden, Lt?” Sharah smiled, she supposed it could be looked at that way, “I am. It’s easier to have it all transported rather than try to carry it myself.”

“If you want to go ahead and give me the coordinates, I’ll give them to the transporter chief, so he can just send them over as you activate the tags.” Sharah nodded and taking an empty PaDD from the desk she put the coordinates in and handed them to him. “Thanks, I appreciate it.” If the disarray of her quarters didn’t seem to phase him much. They saw all kinds. He figured the doctor was just really busy. He took the PaDD back and left.

Sharah returned to straightening up. The pieces of her life, of herself, discarded and tossed where they landed. The evidence of manic desperation, fear, and hopelessness were everywhere. The person who had lived her was not okay. She was not fit. How did no one notice? Sharah was packing clothes into a crate and sank on to the edge of the bed as the truth came to her. Because she made no connections with people. Korczak pushed her to find those connections, to make them, to try. Why was it so hard for her to attempt those connections? Because she let herself buy into the fear and untruths her people fed to her growing up. She left Betazed because it was never going to be home…she took a breath, no she left to find a cure so it could be home. That wasn’t going to happen. Even if she did find a ‘cure’, she would never be accepted. She couldn’t change them, but she could change herself.

Sharah took a breath and wiped her face and stood up. If only it was that easy, to think it and make it happen. She checked each drawer, under the bed, and the closet before closing the crate and placing it by the door and slapping a transporter tag on it. ‘Yavia.‘

Yavia paused, stepping back from the batting cage. Her telepathy didn’t have the range Sharah did, but if she formed the thought she knew Sharah would hear her. ‘Sweetheart, what is it? Are you okay? Do I need to come home?‘

‘*I’m fine, I just…thank you for the music. No, you don’t need to come. Enjoy your practice. I love you.”

Things weren’t so easy after that. The next thing needed to deal with was the painting. It was half crated and was labeled for the Oed museum. She loved it, it had made her feel…seen. Wasn’t that wild. But in the aftermath of the protest and loneliness and fear, it had been too hard to look at, and…well she recognized now, that she had been finalizing some things. She had wanted the painting to go where others could enjoy it. The painting held so much more meaning now. She removed the label and placed a tag on it. She packed her books, her PaDDs, a few various keepsakes. The blanket she’d half stuffed behind the couch went into the recycler.

It was the plants though, that broke the dam. The ones that Charles had planted. What he’d done with the sketches, everything he and Yavia had done since then, everything they had done since then. Breaking down and packing the various planters and supports, securing the small seedling starters that hadn’t been planted yet, the seeds, food, soil, etc. But this, all this work half done, half abandoned, left almost forgotten, ashamed of, until Charles decided to do something with it. This was a project she’d wanted to complete for…well it had bounced around in her mind for years. She had never quite embraced it, until she came to Oed and then everything fell apart. More than her incredibly empathy that made her such a skilled doctor, it was her connection, her affinity, for plants that Sharah really felt illustrated who she was. She’d always hidden it, kept it a secret because it was strange and weird and it made her more different. She hid it because it made her even less normal, but she needed to stop comparing her normal to others’. She was packing the whole project up again, but she could do whatever she wanted with her room. He said it was her space. Charles walked right in and just acted like it was totally normal that she couldn’t leave behind a potted tree. Hope had to come with her. He took the thing she hated most about herself, those invasive sketches, and used it to care for what she loved most, her plants. Like it was perfectly normal.

The dam broke and she began to cry. Sobbing really, but this time it was a cleansing cry, a release, letting go of things that she didn’t need to take with her from this place. Suddenly it came back to her, what he’d said to her, when she’d sat in the shower sobbing. When you need us… whether you want us or not… when you need us, call us. She needed him. She wasn’t sure she needed him to come running, but she needed him, at the very least to know he was there.

A moment later the comms at the house sounded followed by her voice, “Charles?”

Sharah

He was still painting,but the comms stopped the music he was listening to when she called. =/\= Hey, hun. You doin’ ok?” he asked, the Oklahoma accent more noticeable on the comms. =/\= I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout ya. How ya holdin’ up?”

Tenkiller

There was a telling shuddered breath over the comms, and if that wasn’t enough the strain and catch in her voice told him she was crying. Sharah looked around the quarters and the still slightly manic disarray with spots of…improvement. =/\=Better than I should be…but not as well as I wish I was.” In other words she didn’t really know for sure. “It hurts. I wanna come home....but I’m not done.” There was a long silence. “I can’t come back here.=/\=

Sharah

Charles’ first instinct was to rush over to help her… but he was also experienced enough to know that sometimes… sometimes had to do the hard things on their own. =/\= Ok, I get that. And you don’t have to. You have a home here with me and V. That’s not even a question. So what can I do to help you? Do you need me there? Or do you think that this is something that needs to be done by you? Closure and all that. You tell me what you need, and I’ll do my damndest to get it for ya. =/\= and he chuckled. =/\= After all, you’re the Doctor. I’m just the guy that makes life hell for the bad guys. =/\=

Tenkiller

She wanted him there, but that wasn’t what she needed. Just like when she told Korczak she didn’t want to do his homework. She had to do what she needed, later they would worry about what she wanted. She wanted them there, but that was allowing dependency. It wasn’t just not being alone, it was allowing them to make the decisions for her. Shebhad to be an active participant and not just follow along. His last words made her laugh, and it was a relief for her. =/\=I want you here, you and Yavia. But I think I need to…” Sharah had been in counseling ling enough to be truthful with herself, to at least attempt to step back and see it from a distance, even if it was hard. “I need to be able to walk away on my own. Right now I…” what did she need right then? “I just need you to be there when I get home.=/\=

Sharah

There was a laugh and he said =/\= Hun, I’m half-naked and covered in paint. I really wasn’t plannin’ on going out today. =/\= and he laughed again. =/\= C’mon home wehn you are ready. I’ll be here for sure. And V should be back after practice. Take your time, Sharah… do it right. And know that we’ll be here for ya when you get home. =/\=

Tenkiller

=/\=How should I know. I have seen you run naked through the woods.” There was soft laughter though neither doubted she was done crying. She took a deep breath and nodded to herself. “I will. Charles…I love you.=/\=

=/\= Love you too, hun. See you soon. =/\= he replied and the comms went silent.

Sharah pulled herself off the floor and looked around. Totes and crates were half full, areas half packed. Things just tossed in to get done, but then she had moved on to the next thing to avoid dealing with it. That wasn’t her. Not really. She needed to do this right, so…

Slowly, bit by bit Sharah emptied each area. She went through it all, deciding now what she wanted to keep and what she was discarding. Then those she was keeping were carefully packed. Then bit by bit the crates, totes, and potted plants were tagged and disappeared from the room to rematerialize in a swirl of lights outside next to the steps.

She went through the sketches and chaos she’d collected from the floor. It took forever, but she felt it was important to not have to sort these later. Trash was discarded, sketches slipped into her bag, and broken pieces of pencils and charcoal disposed of as well.

Eventually all that was left was what she had planted outside. She took three trays of transfer pots and began to dig them up and settle them into their temporary new homes. She tagged those and they disappeared. Then she played the last song on Yavia’s list while she made one last walk through. As the music played, Sharah closed her eyes. She’d cried enough that day, but she was moved. She took a PaDD out of her bag and sent a message to them both, I’m done and on my way, but I think I’ll walk…at least a little ways.

(Special thanks to Hunter Hayes Wanted )
Sharah

Tenkiller

It was mid afternoon when Yavia walked through the door. She was hot, sweaty, and dusty. She needed a shower and clean clothes. But first…”Hey Lovers, I’m hooome!” She chuckled, that felt good. “What’s with the boxes outside?” She set her bag down by the counter and raided the fridge fir anything cold to drink, preferably really cold water. Downing half the bottle she looked around.

Yavia

Charles was in the den, having cleaned up and waited for either of the ladies to come back. “I’m in here! We should talk when you get cleaned up!” he said. “And the boxes are Sharah’s. She’s cleaning out her apartment… by herself.”

Tenkiller

Yavia appeared in the doorway, “Really? Is that good or bad?....never mind . Shower then talk. I’d kiss you first but you want none of this near you right now. Might ruin the perception that I’m devine.” Yavia chuckled and disappeared grabbing her bag as she headed down the stairs. 15 minutes later she reappeared, freshly showered smelling of a soft spice and wearing a rich cotton robe type garment that was midnight blue and shimmered slightly as she walked. She collapsed on the couch next to him with a groan. “I’m beat.” She sat up and kissed him like she hadn’t seen him in days and then sat back again. “Okay, so what are we talkin’ about?”

Yavia

A vid was playing, one about some old Earth group of mercenaries who were on the run from the authorities for a crime they didn’t commit. “She’s cleaning put her apartment.. moving fully into here. Today. And she’s on her own. No one there with her. And yeah, I checked. But… I spoke to her a few hours ago. She seemed… better. She’d been crying, but that’s not unreasonable. And I asked if she wanted me or you or us there. She said she could do it. And so far, boxes and bags are arriving pretty regularly. And she sent a message to us. Said she had finished up and was walking back. I have a car following her though… thats a hell of a long walk.”

Tenkiller

“She reached out to me about an hour before lunch. I left her a note on a PaDD before we all left when we were there. She wanted to thank me. I knew where she was, but when I offered to come she said she was okay and to enjoy the practice.” She glanced in the direction of the door. “It is, but she may need the time to physically decompress.” A mix of concern and hope playing across her face. Hopefully Sharah wasn’t trying to hide a back slide of depression from them. “I wish I could reach her, as easily as she does me.”

Yavia

Charles nodded but put an arm around V and said “I want to go get her, but everything in me says to let her have the time. So… we just sit and wait. Sometimes, thats all we can do.”

Tenkiller

V leaned into him and sighed, “I know, but that doesn’t mean I like it. I mean we could just call and ask if she wants us to, now that she’s done.” She knew he was right, and possibly necessary, but that didn’t make the waiting easier. “What did you do here in this big old house all alone, all day?”

Yavia

TK smiled and said “Who said I was alone all day?” and then he laughed. “I did whatever I wanted. And I had the occasional party or three. And there were… ‘overnight guests’ occasionally. But for the most part, I got the place so my family could come see me.”

Tenkiller

Yavia laughed, “You outrageous man,” she kissed him, “I meant today. What did you do today while Sharah and I were gone?” She chuckled.

He laughed and said “Painted. Turner wanted a new piece for a client. Other than that, just waited here for Sharah and you.”

“Well I’m glad you had some quiet while you worked.”

“Do you think your family will come visit?” She made a little motion between them, but incorporating the absent Sharah, “What do you think they will make of this?”

Yavia

He shrugged and said “I dunno. I hope so. They only visited me twice in all the time I was in Star Fleet. But now that I am ‘settled’, maybe they’ll be more inclined.” He looked thoughtful for a moment and then said “As far as the three of us? I dunno. I mean, they won’t hate you two or anythin’. Far from it. In fact, I imagine my Ma will love Sharah and you more than a little. My Pa, though… he’ll be a tough nut to crack. He’s always hoped I’d settle down and have some Osage kids. But he’ll come around.” and he smiled at her.

Tenkiller

Yavia looked at him thoughtfully. She remembered TK telling her that his father was very passionate about the tribe and their traditions. “Well we will just have to make a good impression. Though I have to admit, little versions of you running around is kind of appealing.” That was a topic none of them had broached. “Do you want children?”

Yavia

The house comms chirped with an incoming message:
Sorry the driver is freaking out. I crossed a park and he couldn’t follow. I’m having to wait for him to catch up. Thank you for sending it, Charles. Sharah had no doubt it was his idea.

Sharah

TK stared at Yavia for a long moment in shock. “Uh… well shit… I… uh…” and then he laughed loudly. “Holy crap, I never actually thought about it!” and he laughed some more. He then looked at her and said “You know… I’m not averse to the idea. Not at all. But one thing I would be adamant about… no kids unless I was married. What about you? Ever thought about having kids or being hitched to somebody?”

Tenkiller

“I have always wanted what my three-times great-grandparents had. Life long commitments are very, very rare on Delta. It’s not rare on Earth though, and I think it’s beautiful. My grandma Ralea embraced it and they were wonderfully happy. I would like that, but I knew finding someone to share that with would be a slow and careful process. But I knew it was worth taking my time with. As for kids,” Yavia laughed slightly with disbelief and shrugged, “I love kids. I don’t think I would mind having my own, but I never thought that far ahead. I wanted to find the right person to share that with first.”

Yavia