[snip}

Glen sighed. No wonder she is hurting. She was meant to have forgotten all that, and being back here where it all happened once again… he thought. “Then the mind-meld didn’t work? Or was it only temporary? I have trouble thinking about those events myself, but I just can’t imagine how hard it must be for you. The ‘not being able to talk about it’ makes it even harder still, but I sometimes think it is what draws us together as a ship, because so many of us who experienced those times together are still here....” Glen paused then continued, “…You speak like you already know Joe. Have you served with him before? You see, my other problem with telling him anything is whether I trust him enough yet to tell him all of this, but if you can vouch for him, that would go a long way to help. Like he’s not another spy is he?” Glen laughed.

‘’The mind-meld did not make the memories go away it made them less painful ,so I tend not to dwell on them’‘.

“I probably should have known that,” replied Glen. “Sorry! That mind-meld stuff is all Vulcan emotion woo woo to me!”

Regarding the fact that she already knew Joe, Cross shook her head ‘’To be honest when I do look at him there is this vague memory that I cannot quite put my finger on maybe its due to the mind meld which made me forget irrelevant small things ?’’ she asked more to herself then to Glen .

Glen nodded his understanding, It made sense to him.

‘’I cannot vouch for him, he has only been the ship’s XO for a few days, actually what I do see is the devil himself!’’ and Cross went on to explain about the crew man with the broken nose and ‘’ Joe’s insisting that I punish Hunter!’’ she exclaimed raising her voice in irritation .

“I should have been made away of this,” Glen was now shocked himself. “Discipline and human resources are a part of the XO’s job, so he has every right to get involved, and as Hunter’s DH you should definitely reprimand him… You know that I was always very lenient with you, don’t you? First, because you were subjected to the stigma of your father’s genetic engineering, and then later because of the kidnap, torture and your loss. And that you selflessly saved my life too. Some people who didn’t know the facts, couldn’t understand why I was so lenient. Even Kord thought you should have been punished for insubordination. But a ship can’t function when crew don’t obey orders or the hierarchy. Discipline must be enforced to keep the ship…” Glen tailed off as he knew Cross did understand, but her mind grappled with the weight of everything else.

‘’I did actually send him to the science dept until further notice, may be he’ll work out something now that a shaped like egg was found in one of the sphere and his actions will go in his records’’ Cross passed her fingers through her hair ,it was evident she did not want to reprehend Hunter but obeyed the XO.’‘I know I was causing problems and that was the reason I left the ship, it was not because I wanted to act that way but rather the urge for stimulation and it was literally beyond my control’‘.

Okay, okay Cross, easy breaths calm down the female doctor thought to herself ‘’Captain he can very easily find out one word here another there, Joe is far from stupid and from what I have seen he has an inquisitive nature ‘’ Cross gave him a long wide eye stare ‘’Captain its your decision but if I was in your place I’ll tell him, better find out about what happened from you then from another source ......we still occasionally get crew members who are suffering from PSD and and....are you 100% sure we shall never come across them again’‘. even at the very thought Cross shuddered.

“I will need to tell him, but I still don’t know exactly how much,” Glen decided. “I need his full confidence in me. As for the other question, who knows? I can’t say if we will ever see them again. The whole point of the last mission involving the future was to the clear the Merrimack of the chroniton flux that had been causing us to become a Nexus for those anomalies. As far as I understood it, the Harvesters were banished from our time, and in the past, the Ancients and Elders were held back from a rise to such great power, However, in the future, the war goes on, and where manipulation of time is involved, there is always that possibility of altering the past again. In the future, the Federation has ships that travel through time to enforce and protect our timeline from changes. I guess we have to have confidence in that.”

“But Miriam ,” Glen added, “Maybe you don’t appreciate it, but my mind was addled by the experiences too. I don’t know if things I experienced in our timeline actually happened, no longer happened, or were imagined, or if they were inserted into my memories by the Worm. It’s all mixed up! So, that’s why I seem unsure of things, or forget things and events, or remember them a different way. Like… do you remember when we were transported for one night to the Ball at Black Rock in the future, where the USS Merrimack had become a floating museum and there were aliens and androids who were now officers in Star Fleet? I sometimes remember you being there, but I think it was long before you had joined the ship because I remember that Noelle Ghassan was my CMO. That night was a very good one, because we saw the Federation at peace, and we saw a future without war and horrible events taking place. It made me confident that we were doing some good out here… I’m sorry, I need another coffee. Do you want one too?”.

She could not remember seeing the Merrimack in the museum but did hear Sulu telling the Captain about it,which had made her wonder.... where they living in the past, present or future?.

‘’Oh Captain if you only knew how worrying and defeated I felt when I could not do anything ,not knowing the repercussions of what could happen to you by either removing or killing the worm ‘’ with arms clutching her body as if to hold it together Cross went on ‘’Either the worm was searching for memories for their own agenda or purposely putting in false memory into your brain cells or it could be both. So I don’t blame you for you’re interpretation .Could it be because of such memories that were put with the intent and aim on making you reluctant to tell anyone?’’ the doctor asked or better still offered a hypothesis.

And as for an offer of some coffee Cross smiled ‘’I thought you’ll never ask!’‘.

Glen called over the waiter again and asked for two more coffees. He wrote it down and went away.

“Yes, Yes… Captain Sulu and Ambassador Spock did brief me,” Glen remembered. “So, I’m not imagining that part, but I do wonder sometimes what was real and what was put into my head, and I have wondered before if I was going mad. I have even seriously considered your idea of hiring a Ship’s Counsellor for the Merrimack. “

‘’That’s exactly want they wanted to question our own sanity, if you bring a counsellor he/she too would find our experience hard to believe and it the long run it would do more harm then good’’ .

“I’m not so sure about that,” Glen replied. “I’d want someone who was a very good listener. Someone who listened to how you are feeling without being judgemental or questioning.”

When the coffee came Cross put her fingers around the cup while taking in the aroma she sipped it quietly ,then got up ‘’ I better go back to sickbay someone might miss me ‘’ she joked.

“Already?” Glen asked, “You only just got your coffee… And I’m the Captain. If someone else wants to speak to you, they can stand in line!”

But before the female doctor left she went up to Glen and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek ‘’Glen don’t loose faith in your ability as a Captain and em I hate to say this but you’ll find our new Cmdr an asset’’ and with those last words Cross left.

Cross Dr.

Glen remembered that of Cross. She always made a quick exit. It was like she was afraid that someone would get through all her barriers, and afraid of anyone inside them. or that if she hung around too long her defences would come tumbling down. However, Glen felt better for the conversation he had had, short though it was. It had cleared up a few questions that had been on his mind for some considerable time. He had also expressed his own feelings, much as he would have to a real counsellor, and he felt good about getting all that out in the open. He also knew better where Cross was emotionally, so that he didn’t need to pussy-foot around her any longer. Finally, he had a second take from Miriam on how he should approach the new XO and had almost decided on full disclosure, whatever that would mean. Miriam was a good judge of character, and she did seem to speak as if she had spent some time with Joe, while John had spoken only very briefly to him.

He finished his coffee off and asked for the bill. It was still very quiet on the promenade. The wood carver was now working alone and the giggling officers had left long ago. it was Joe, himself, who had told John to get himself away from the Merrimack for a while and it had turned out to be excellent advice. When the bill was presented he paid with credits and got change in pieces of Latinum strips. Very quaint, he thought.

Glen sat a while longer until eventually he thought that he had better leave himself. Miriam had mentioned the Sickbay, and the investigation of the silver spheres, and he was quite keen to get an update on the progress being made. He stood up, but before he left, he wrote some comments in the cafés book that they really should start serving Raktajino.

Glen left the Rue du Rivoli coffee shop and his next stop was the barbers. He hadn’t had a good professional haircut in several months. Not only did the Merrimack need a Counsellor but she could do with a hairdresser too. Glen knew that Faith, his niece and yeoman, spent hours every day to create her beehive.

He found the barbers after a short walk on the promenade, and he was quickly directed to sit in the empty chair. As he sat, he thought again about his conversation with Miriam and how it had cleared the air. However, he was sure that Miriam had been hiding something from him, and as he thought about it longer it was obvious. She did know Joe Milligan. She definitely knew Joe from some earlier assignment, and either her memory was mixed up from the mind-meld, or she was deliberately keeping that fact a secret. The reason she had suddenly disappeared was because she had remembered something about him and she now needed to find him and tell him? Warn him? Whatever it was, if it didn’t involve the ship then it was no business of Glen’s, but he couldn’t be sure that it did not.

“Just a short back and sides,” Glen told the barber. “No problem,” the Kreetassan barber replied before launching into a profusion of questions about his taste in sports, the space station commander, and the difficulties of having a cat as a pet on a space ship. The haircut seemed to take a lifetime, but was probably no more than fifteen minutes. A soon as he was finished, Glen paid the barber and left. He wanted to get back to the Merrimack as soon as possible. He needed an update on the spheres and the child in stasis, but now he also wanted to know why Miriam had told him that she only had some vague memory of Joe.

=Glen, CO