Sharah had worked for a couple of hours in the Arboretum after getting Lt. Marsh’s approval. She had a volunteer list up so that anyone who wanted to help could. It consisted on potting plants from the flower beds to pots and removing some of the decoritve pieces to storage. Once the beds were cleared she would change the list to add the new elements for them. Some of the plants needed to be planted from seeds and so she had started those, but her mind was still jumbled despite the hours working with the plants. She headed back to her quarters and shut herself in her room to send a letter.

Her letter was sent out unexpectedly early, in the middle of Joseph’s shift. Sharah was in her room and something was obviously wrong. Her little bonsai tree was sitting in her lap and she’s gripping the sides of the pot. She starts to speak a few times but stops. She looks away from the screen and takes a deep breath. “The Atlantis has gone missing. Oliver was on the Atlantis.” She wishes Joseph was there, it would be so much easier to share her thoughts and feelings rather than trying to verbalize them. “I know things happen on and to ships all the time. That there are lots of explanations and they are usually okay. I…I just realized that..Joseph I just” A tear slips out and she brushes it away…”I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you. I know there isn’t anything I can do about Oliver. I just needed to know you are still okay. I love you, Imzadi.”
Love,
Sharah

Much to Sharah’s surprise Joseph’s reply is quick to come back. She’s still in her quarters. He must have read it almost immediately. Joseph looks at the screen, his expression visibly in a concerned state. “Imzadi. I am okay. I am sure Atlantis will come back up, entire ships don’t just disappear like that.” He gave her a soft smile. “You don’t need to spend any energy worrying about me, I promise you I am fine. Try and stay calm. Oliver will be fine, just give the situation some time. I love you imzadi.” She smiles softly at his image and whispers, “I love you, too.” Joseph is always so matter of fact, it calms her racing thoughts so she can process.

She sends back a reply later that afternoon after she’s taken care of some of her notes for her research project. Now that she’s able to put the problem of Oliver out of her mind, that is another matter she needs to talk to him about. The decision isn’t just about her, but it has to potential to affect him as well. She needs an outside opinion as well, a fresh perspective, and there isn’t anyone else she wants to ask. Her brother and her parents would be too…they wouldn’t treat her like she was capable of making the decisions. They would dictate to her what to do. Joseph will give his opinion and let her decide. ‘I know. I just needed to hear you say it. I know Atlantis will be okay. I just…there is so much out here we don’t know. I was blindsided by the news. That hasn’t happened in awhile.” She’s quiet for a moment and then takes a deep breath as if she has something really important to talk to him about. “Dr. Zarath has a…has offered to teach me some mental discipline techniques. He was, well I guess he must have done some covert work before. But it has helped him be able to block telepaths. And he’s offered to show me, and try to adjust the technique to help me block the noise. It sounds…too good to be true, I guess.” She stops, thinking about it. “He is concerned that it might be…well he said the original technique is meant to break the person down and remake their mental discipline. It sounds…I don’t know…promising and terrifying. I know Zarath won’t do anything to endanger me. And he told me to take a few days to think about it. I can call stop if it makes things worse or isn’t working. I don’t know if I should do it though. I feel like I’m too close to the problem to know if it’s a good idea or not. He said it wouldn’t be anything close to how he learned it, but that it could become uncomfortable. I don’t know what I should do. I miss you Imzadi.
Love,
Sharah” After sending the message she waters and adds food to her bonsai tree and then goes to bed. Emotionally she’s wore out, but her mind is just too active worring over the problem and she wakes in the middle of the night. Joseph has already responded: Joseph had his head resting on his hand, which was clenched into a fist. He was in a thinking posture. And Sharah could tell by the look in his eyes he had been in this mindset for at least an hour. “Imzadi…” He began, a reflective tone coming from his mouth. “This is your decision, and yours alone, but, in my opinion. I do not think you should try.” He paused for a moment, as if trying to select the exact right words to use. “We all have struggles in life, and the way we cope with those struggles can help define who we are.” He looked at the screen directly, as if staring straight into Sharah’s soul. “Your gift is extraordinary, and the way you have naturally overcome it on your own has made you into a strong woman and empathetic doctor. You know what it is like to be in pain because you experience it all the time. Thus you are better able to understand the people who need your help in life better than most in your profession. You also know what it is like to live and struggle through that pain.” He pauses again, and for one of the first times Sharah can remember, Joseph seems apologetic for his opinion. “I guess this may be selfish, but I don’t want you to change and become somebody you are not. I think the way you have lived your life because of your gift has affected your values and principles. I worry those might change if your gift does as well.” He looked down, as if ashamed for saying that. “Like I said, it is your choice, just not either way. I love you Imzadi.”

Sharah pauses the message and then re-watches it. She smiles, feeling a lot of the tension melt away. Even from so many light years away he knows exactly what to say to help her focus on the real issue presented to her, when all the other static gets in the way. She send a reply and then is able to go back to bed. “Joseph don’t be sorry for telling me your opinion. This is why I asked you. We don’t have to always agree, but in this case, we do. Even this far apart you are able to reflect my jumbled thoughts better than I can. I think you are right. I will talk to Dr Zarath tomorrow and I will express our concerns about how this might change my gift, my ability to be such a good doctor, and my own personality. I don’t want to change who I am, and from his hesitation I don’t think he wants to either. I think he just generally wants to help me, and…” she shrugs, “I’ve exhausted most techniques already. He found a different solution for me already rather than the alpha inducer. We’re using delta waves instead which are safe to use every day and don’t require any special medical equipment. And it’s helping with my sleep. It’s not great, but so much better than it was. I think he can probably come up with different ideas. How is your investigation going? Any progress yet? I miss you Imzadi.
Love,
Sharah”

She Sharah gets up the next morning to get ready for her shift she has another message from Joseph. Checking the time he had sent it not too long after she sent hers.
He’d stayed up to send it, and that knowledge, as silly as it was, made her feel very cared for and loved at the moment: Joseph smiled into the screen “I’m glad we agree Imzadi. I’m also glad you have found a way to cope with the delta waves, as long as my mental wall doesn’t have to compete with it.” He chuckled. “The investigation is still continuing. I have a no concrete leads as of this moment, but the crew is on standby and we are ready to catch whoever did the deed.” He looked away from the screen for a moment. “I wish you were here. You could just read everyone’s mind and find out who did it. I love you imzadi.”

Sharah wasn’t sure if Ashyln had left for shift yet or was still sleeping. She hadn’t checked her friend’s schedule the night before. Sharah grabbed an apple and then headed to sickbay for her shift. When she arrived she checked in with NE Dr Borenson and reviewed the files for the patients still in sickbay. Afterwards she went and spoke to them to see how they were doing. After that she left a note for Dr Zarath that she would like to talk to him when he had a free moment that day or the next. Then she made herself busy checking the inventory for the surgical suite there in main sickbay.
En. Fayth, Doctor