Posted by Captain Johann Dvorak (CO) in Deck 5 Corridor - Going in Circles?

Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Deck 5 Corridor - Going in Circles?

Posted by Captain Johann Dvorak (CO) in Deck 5 Corridor - Going in Circles?
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻

SNIP

“I don’t know if that’s true in my case,” he said. “Though, it’s less about the time and more about the activity. If I’m not trying to think about something, that’s when I get the best ideas about that thing. Like if I’m in the shower.”

This caused a little laughter to ring from her lips as she leaned up against the corridor wall and crossed her arms enjoying his company.

Should I blather about this? he wondered to himself. Do I know how?

“That’s not really what’s going on now,” he said a moment later, as if to put a footnote on the previous comment.

– Johann Dvorak, CO

“Oh?” Sienna seemed nonchalant and mildly curious. Usually a hazard of the job, not showing what you feel, in this case, it was helpful.

Nox, CNS

“I feel a little stuck in a rut,” he said. “I mean, professionally. Almost exclusively professionally. My personal life is going pretty well and there’s a lot of new exciting things happening there.” He was obliquely referring to his engagement to Vora, which was something that he hadn’t actually told anyone about yet, having just recently happened. It prompted him to reflect on other areas of his life, and he wasn’t entire happy with what he saw.

Sienna frowned unconsciously. It wasn’t that she didn’t wish the best for this Johann in his personal life. It was that it reminded her so much of her own life and who she missed. It was also hard sometimes to differentiate the two if she wasn’t careful. It was hard to see this Johann loving another. She couldn’t help the flash of anger, betrayal and hurt she felt when she let herself really dwell on it.

“I’m not sure if I’m really doing what I wanted to do with my career. I mean, accomplishing the sorts of things I wanted to accomplish as a starship captain, before I actually became one.”

– Johann Dvorak, CO

Refocusing on him and his needs, she listed and contemplated this problem. Not feeling like she had enough information, she asked, “Is it that the missions are not exciting enough? Science not your favorite ship? Or are you wanting to become a Fleet Captain and continue to move up the ranks?”

Nox, CNS

“No, I don’t think I want to do that,” he said reflexively in response to that last suggestion. He was immediately reminded of what he said to Vora when they had gone up to Fleet Command on Black Rock recently: This is the most phallic place in Starfleet…

Johann had never thought particularly highly of working on a staff someplace, even though he knew it would be foisted upon him at some point if he stayed in Starfleet long enough.

She was relieved he didn’t want to move up the ranks. No doubt he would be able to if he wanted but she would miss him even if he was sort of a ghost of her husband. She would still miss him and their odd friendship, budding as it was.

“We have been lacking in excitement lately, also, though that’s not really it either,” he said. It was probably a good thing that he hadn’t ordered any collision courses in a long time. New crew weren’t terrified of that anymore.

“I think… I don’t know what what I’m doing has had the kind of impact I wanted it to,” he said. “I mean, morally I guess.” He was having some amount of difficulty putting whatever he was actually thinking into words.

– Johann Dvorak, CO

Morally? She had to wonder at the implications of morality as an impact. Did he mean having others molded by his own ethics or Star Fleet’s? Did he mean something different than moral fortitude? She had to think yes since she couldn’t understand what impact morals could have in a career in this context. “I suppose,” she said with a little laugh, “I am not understanding. What kind of impact are you wanting to make?”

Nox, CNS