Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Bridge - Some ideas are so bad…

Posted by Captain Johann Dvorak (CO) in Bridge - Some ideas are so bad…

Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Bridge - Some ideas are so bad…
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻

SNIP

“Well, sure,” he said. Though he really wasn’t sure that’s what this all was actually about. He was right to suspect more was going on, but he had nothing remotely close to a real clue as to what it was.

“I just want to make sure you really do intend to go through with this. Not that I doubt your commitment, but the interest there does seem… sudden, and was definitely prompted by my lapse back there. Don’t know if you want to make career decisions quite that… abruptly.”

— Johann Dvorak, CO

She sighed and lifted a hand to her mouth, touching her bottom lip in a nervous gesture. She was sad and angry and she missed her family and friends. She wanted more than anything, in this moment, to go home, but it wasn’t possible and she was trapped. Feeling the constriction, she stood and paced. “Sir, permission to speak frankly?” She asked, looking back at him sitting at his desk. It was almost laughable how little he knew about.... anything really.

“Of course,” he said rather casually.

“It is difficult for me to be here. I miss my life. Not your Sienna’s life… Mine.” She pointed to herself and continued to pace obviously trying to stay calm. “I understand why I cannot return home yet. I understand that being here helps people and I am generally happy with that compromise. I want to serve.” Her control slipped inch by inch. Sienna couldn’t keep it in check as she usually did. “If I didn’t serve here, I probably would lose my mind feeling so idle, but it doesn’t change the fact that I am heartbroken.” Her voice cracked and she finally stopped pacing. Her hands fell on the back of the chair she had been sitting in.

At that particular moment, he again noticed the ring on her left hand that had been well cared for.

“I wouldn’t have to go for a command position after the training. I don’t want to be a Captain or an XO full time.... I just…” Sienna tried to come up with the words to convey how she felt and found it rather hard so she tried from a different route, taking a deep breath and looking at him squarely. “It is hard to be seen as someone else… to be reminded I am not who you think I am. To be reminded I am not home and don’t have a home anymore. I don’t know what else to do to stop that from happening when I am on duty.”

Nox, CNS

“I see,” he said a moment after she finished talking. Though, he actually didn’t. He had all of the clues: her talk of home, her use of the second person pronoun, the model of the Korolev that was sitting in her office, the familiarity that they had shared but few others on the crew seemed to. All of the dots, but no idea that they could be connected.

“I mean, not really, because you are in a situation that is especially unique and frustrating with no easy solution. So I say ‘I see’, but I don’t really. I can only see that you’re very upset by it.”

She nodded, understanding what he meant and glad at least, that he had clarified his thoughts. He acknowledged that he saw and understood her to be upset but couldn’t genuinely understand what she was going through as he had never been in such a situation himself.

He seemed to think a bit more about this for a moment or so, and in so doing let out a sigh. It was easy for him to see her as the woman he used to work with, because that was a useful distraction from the fact that she was in peril somewhere over some dumb secret mission that he didn’t know about and still resented, and that he couldn’t actually do anything about that.

As he sighed, she also sighed inwardly, relaxing her shoulders visibly. Sienna walked around the chair and sat down once more, a bit deflated now that she had let her frustration be known.

“I don’t know what else you should do on duty either. I’ll still approve this; it’s probably better than doing nothing. Though…”

There was a hesitation as he stopped to choose his words with extreme care. “… I’m probably wrong here, but… is it possible that you’re trying too hard not to be you? That we see you as someone else because that’s who you’re trying to be?”

– Johann Dvorak, CO

Curious at this line of question, she tilted her head and asked, “What do you mean?”

Nox, CNS

“I mean… that…” He looked off to a corner as he thought about word choice very carefully.

“You seem very… guarded… sometimes.” He considered whether to explain more, but decided it was better not to say anything else, lest it sound accusatory.

– Johann Dvorak, CO