Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Vora Zorell (Scientist) in Side Sim- Mining Colony of Feru III- The New Dawn Festival

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Avik (XO) in Side Sim- Mining Colony of Feru III- The New Dawn Festival

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Vora Zorell (Scientist) in Side Sim- Mining Colony of Feru III- The New Dawn Festival

(snip)

Vora was still mulling over both the loveliness of the cavern and the revelations that had been made within. Things were awkward between her and the XO and yet, she truly felt like she understood Avik a little. And so after a minute of chatting with the others, she excused herself and joined Avik at the tree, settling her tall body onto the ground, maroon eyes taking in their surroundings while she spoke. “You know, sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I had had my mother throughout, or for even a few years longer. But, I didn’t, and when she died suddenly when I was five, the trajectory of my life sent my down a path I’ve not always been able to reconcile. Do I champion the hard work I put in to turn my life around, to face my addiction and stay clean? I’ve been working through some very deep trauma, and some days I wish my mother were here to see me be at peace, successful in all the areas of my life that are actually important. I miss her. Just I can imagine you must miss your own mother. I don’t know what it’s like to watch a parent slowly slip away from you so harshly, but I can empathize with the absence of that person in my life.” She didn’t look at Avik, keeping her tone conversational but soft as to not be overheard by the others.

~Vora Zorell, Sciences

From Vora’s words, it was clear to Avik the woman had discovered her mother’s fate. A moment of silence settled in her thoughts while the Vulcan woman untangled her emotions and weighed her words. At this point, she didn’t want to ruin an otherwise pleasant day for them. Yet, the topic couldn’t be left untouched and it might enlighten Vora to why she struggled to connect some times.

With a deep breath, Avik braced herself for what might come from this conversation. Good or bad.

“Trauma is a strange thing. Logically it shouldn’t hold power over an individual, but it can be the most painful experience and hardest to control.” She began, reflecting on the last series of events spent with her mother.

“Hearing you approach the topic, it sounds like you might’ve learned of what happened to my mother?”

The Tenraith nodded her cherry coloured head. “Yes, I did.”

Avik digested the answer then considered her next words.

“The day my mother revealed her disease, we discovered I had more than touch telepathy. It was not the best way to learn I could sense thoughts and emotions of anyone near me, especially when I had little control with my own emotions.” With Avik’s touch on the subject, she had showed Vora the topic was open for discussion and questions were welcomed. Still, she decided to make it absolutely clear.

“Despite the pain and trauma, I will talk about it if approached. In this case, I believe my upbringing didn’t help as Vulcans are encouraged to seek out information and form their own logical thoughts. Not all species work the same way.”

She noticed her brother’s glance as he gently shepherded his family a bit farther away, giving them more privacy.

-Avik, XO

“No, no they don’t,” Vora said. “On Tenra, people are varied and operate differently. Some or more logical, others, more emotionally forward. But I think in recent years I’ve been discovering just how bound I’ve been to a small way of thinking that pervaded the neighbourhood I lived in. You have to understand that when I speak of Tenra and my experiences, I’m speaking of a world that is only roughly two kilometers by two kilometers. While I lived outside of that are for a brief time when I was living with foster families, the majority of my life was spent within that area. It’s all I knew. Even now I have a hard time imagining that people on Tenra are different, that there are different ways of living and acting and feeling.”

She turned her head to gaze at Avik, her maroon eyes deep intense. “I ran away from abuse in my foster home and subsequently become an addict through my boyfriend at the time. After he was arrested, I was homeless until I was coerced by an organized crime group he was working for to become, well, a prostitute. Addicted to narcotics and alcohol, I lived a terrible life, Avik. But I made a concerted effort to change my life when I found out I was pregnant. My son Jerrin is the reason I am where I am. But I wasn’t equipped to be a mother. It wasn’t safe. I was in a terribly abusive living arrangement I assumed was love but it nearly destroyed me, and I nearly lost my life. So I gave Jerrin up and we were only reunited a few years ago. I’m telling you this because you already know about my eidetic memory. So when we were captured and in that cell together, I had a flashback. For me they are vivid and as I’m reliving it in that moment, I have a hard time knowing the difference between memory and reality.” She lifted a hand. “Touch is my strangest sense for my memory. It makes it even more unpredictable to know how I will react, even though I’ve gotten better at not breaking from reality. I’m an emotional person, and I can understand that that is uncomfortable for you. But imagine trying to keep the emotions of living through all those experiences contained. It’s impossible. It would destroy me the way others tried to. So I don’t anymore. I have learned to feel things. But I can understand if that is hard for you as well. My emotions are key to more than my survival, but my evolution as a person.”

~Vora Zorell, Scientst

Though Avik retained her indifferent expression, she listened to Vora tell about the small place she called home. While her colony had a mix of cultures, Avik’s parents favored a logic-based environment to raise their children. The galaxy, despite their origins, would only see them as one thing: Vulcans.

A mental sigh washed over Avik’s mind as she continued to absorb Vora’s tell. Gradually, missing information began to fill in the problem’s source and more.

When Vora finished, Avik nodded softly.

“It explains your confidence and trust issues. However, I can’t relate due to not sharing the same experience. I do appreciate your sharing. For me, it’s much harder to explain. My childhood was normal until my mother fell ill and everything drastically changed.” She licked her lips and took a breath before she continued.

“After I recovered, I could no longer visit my mother without supervision. One of my older siblings or my father lingered in the background, their hand on my shoulder. Eventually, I learned to block it out. On occasion, someone broke through my defenses and overwhelmed me. Before my assigned mate’s death, Sivr and I were trying to work on this.”

Avik once more paused to collect herself.

“Letting your emotions influence your actions or mind is… I believe the human word is taboo?” Avik struggled for a moment with the correct wording. She had spent far too long on a Vulcan ship to remember all the proper words.

-Avik, XO