Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in Facing the Music

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in Facing the Music

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in Facing the Music
Posted by… suppressed (15) by the Post Ghost! 👻
Rand got the notice she could have dinner with Roman. She hadn’t expected that. She hoped that meant his evaluation was going in a positive direction. They always ate late because of Rand’s off schedule. She wanted to rush, but she knew that would make more work for her later.

She changed into a skirt and blouse, one Roman always said he liked, then picked up a tray from the mess and made her way to his temp quarters. She was nervous. She missed him, she was worried about him, but she also knew he was upset with her. Even if he didn’t say so, she knew him well enough. She couldn’t have made any other choice though.

The security officer and nurse checked the tray when she pressed the chime, and then let her enter.

Yeoman Rand

Roman was playing his violin when she arrived. It was a heartfelt, sad, almost conflicted melody. When he heard the door open, he turned, and immediately set the instrument down, took the tray from Rand, set it on the table, and hugged her tightly. “Miranda.”

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

The melody was emotionally moving and gave more than a hint to his internal landscape, but Rand was glad to hear him playing. Pipkin was laying at the corner of the bed listening.

She went into his arms easily. The sound of her name in his voice was the sweetest caress. She held onto him tightly. “Roman.” The power of her trained voice was able to convey everything she felt in two simple syllables. Her love, concern, worry, hope, loneliness, relief, loyalty, and devotion.

Yeoman Rand

Roman leaned his head on her. “I love you.” He said softly. He sighed against her as if finally home after a long trip.

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

“I love you too.” She could only pray he believed that. That he wouldn’t give up on her, them, or himself. He deserved love and a home and a family.

He did, he knew she did. It wasn’t ever that he didn’t believe that, or that he was giving up on her. It was always himself and his own internal conflicts he couldn’t handle. Like losing an internal battle that would never end.

Her arms slipped up over his shoulders and behind his neck. She pressed her face into the hollow of his throat and held him.

Yeoman Rand

Roman stayed like that for several long minutes before he finally pulled away. “You must be hungry. You’re eating okay, aren’t you?” He asked, knowing she’d be worried and sometimes that made her not eat.

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

Rand nodded, “Yes. I think Captain Asam is making sure. She’s ‘had to have’ me work through meals with her because she ‘needs’ my assistance. She always has food waiting. I don’t want to offend her, so I eat.” Though it had been hard. Rand hadn’t felt like eating because she was so worried. She was grateful for the captain though. She’d even come and sat with Rand for a long while the first night. She’d been kind and understanding. “Are you hungry?”

Yeoman Rand

Roman sighed softly. “I guess.” If Rand could eat, so could he. He didn’t need to cause her more worry. He hugged her again. “I’m glad the Captain is understanding.” Then he sat down and looked at the tray.

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

Rand went about setting out their meal. She had his tea, just like he liked it, but she had no idea what else Gorshin had fixed. She hadn’t looked or asked. “I like Cpt. Asam. She doesn’t ignore me or just give me petty tasks.” She looked at him as she sat, “She’s concerned for you.” She watched her hands as she meticulously set her napkin on her lap before looking up. “I wanted to tell you earlier, but I forgot. Captain Asam told everyone you are working on a classified assignment with Lt. Kreed and are unavailable. She put Franks in charge of the labs for now.”

Yeoman Rand

Roman nodded. “Thank her for me.” He took a drink of his tea as he opened his meal. It was as he liked it, like always. “I don’t know anymore, Rand. I don’t know.” He said softly.

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

Rand paused and reached over to take his hand. She squeezed and relaxed as she breathed with him. Silent, steady support for him to explain when he was ready.

Yeoman Rand

Roman’s breaths followed her rhythm. Slow, steady. He started to look more relaxed. He moved over towards her and leaned his head on her, keeping her hand in his. There was a lengthy silence. “....I know you’re waiting for me to say something. I just don’t know what to say.”

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

Her other hand reached up, and her fingers gently combed his hair. “You don’t have to say anything, Ròmanach. We can simply be here in the silence if that is what you need. Or I can babble on about nothing, or just listen if you need those things too.”

Yeoman Rand

Roman sighed gently against her. His body relaxed into hers and he closed his eyes. He looked so comfortable he might just be asleep. But then he said, “I love you, Rand. Nothing you ever do will change that.” The way he was leaned on her, his head was against her chest, the way she often liked to lay on him.

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

She ran her fingers down and up his back. The way Roman did for her. She kissed the top of his head and then rested her cheek there. “I love you, too Ròmanach. Always, for eternity. I will always be here, No matter what we have to face.”

Yeoman Rand

“I don’t know if or when Hart’s going to let me go, but…” Roman sighed, “Even then, I’m not sure what’s going to happen.” His hand tightened on hers, “I’m sorry, Miranda.”

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

She shook her head. “No apology is necessary, Roman. How you feel is how you feel. I don’t know what will happen either, but whatever it is, I will be there.”

Yeoman Rand

Of course she’d say there was no apology necessary. But he knew there was. Because if he’d been stronger, if he’d just been better, neither of them would be here. All he had to do was not write that note. So he just stayed quiet and nodded against her. Right now, his mental health was still volatile, easy to sway one way or another. It wasn’t a good place, though slightly better than before.

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

Rand knew it was early in the process. She was proud of him for not giving up. She was also in awe of the strength of his live for Jay. She wasn’t sure this wasn’t the time to say it. She didn’t want to set his progress back. She wished Randy was here to ask. She thought through the small exchange. “I accept your apology, and I want you to know that none of this changes how I feel about you and us. I love you, I want to spend my life with you. The good and the hard. I still want to be your wife.”

Yeoman Rand