Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in Temp Quarters- Assessing the Situation

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Leah Hart (Nurse Practitioner/Counseling) in Temp Quarters- Assessing the Situation

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in Temp Quarters- Assessing the Situation
Posted by… suppressed (11) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Roman listened intently and politely. “They cared for you, those you worked with. You accepted the help they knew you needed. There’s no shame in that. And you were able to do right by your father.” He smiled politely, but there was genuine care and concern in his look. “I’m glad you’re doing well now. And I’m sorry for your loss.” He set the violin down gently. “The crew must look out for each other. Always.”

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

She gave him a soft smile. “Thank you. And yes, they should. Do you think the crew looks out for you?” She purposefully avoided using his rank. He was so determined to keep the formality that it was getting in the way and Leah was done going gently in that area. However, bashing through a wall rarely created an optimal therapeutic rapport. As usual, Leah was going about it sideways.

~Leah Hart, NP

“I look out for them. It’s my job as their commander and first officer. Not only that, I won’t lose another crew.” His look was stubborn and determined. He used formality as a shield, it was the way he was raised and he felt comfortable that way.

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

She shook her head and fixed her gaze on him. “That’s not what I asked you. I asked you if you thought the crew looked out for you.”

~Leah Hart, NP

Roman shrugged. “Not their job. It doesn’t matter.” He patted his lap to call Pipkin and the rabbit came hopping over. “I wouldn’t ask them to.”

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

She tilted her head, watching him intently. “Are you not part of the crew?”

~Leah Hart, NP

“I am, but, it’s different when you’re command staff.” Roman replied with another shrug.

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

Resting her hands loosely in her lap, Leah looked at Pipkin for a moment before focusing on him again. “Tell me more.”

~Leah Hart, NP

“More about what?” Roman wasn’t playing stupid, he honestly didn’t understand what more information she was asking for.

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

Hart kept her expression neutral as she replied. “About what exactly is different for command staff that means people can’t care about you.” That wasn’t exactly the question she had just asked, but it seemed necessary to guide Roman a bit more. That was okay- some people needed that- even if it was a general therapy no-no. But she was breaking all sorts of ‘rules’ today, what was one more?

~Leah Hart, NP

“We’re in charge.” Roman looked at her, “I know every crew member’s name, their face. I know what shifts they prefer, what jobs they like and don’t like. I expect a lot, but I have high approval ratings within every crew I’ve worked with. The crew… They’re too busy managing their own jobs to care. My job is to care.”

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

“But you just told me a crew should look out for each other. It’s not their job to care about other people. Their jobs are denoted by their position and its place within the structure of the ship. So, if they’re not to busy to care about those around them, why wouldn’t you be included in that group?”

~Leah Hart, NP

Roman shrugged again, almost uncomfortably. “I… I don’t know. Why is this relevant?”

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

“Because you just told me there was no shame in needing help, that it was good that my fellow staff at the hospital intervened when it was clear I was not able to tkae the necessary action myself,” Leah said. “And I would agree with my assessment. And yet, you avoid my questions, and seem to believe that what applies to others does not apply to you. So, what makes you so different? We’ve established that there is an issue that led to you being here. Are you not deserving of care and help?”

~Leah Hart, NP

“What? What kind of question is that?” He crossed his arms and humphed, giving her a look akin to a stare down. “How did you get to that conclusion? Why in all the space between here and earth would I believe something like that?”

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

Leah wore a placid expression, utterly unruffled. People lashing out at her was nothing new and a part of the job. “Because you don’t believe the crew should look out for you. It’s an easy conclusion to make, but I could be wrong,” she said with a shrug. “If I am wrong, by all means explain with an example that shows to the contrary.”

~Leah Hart, NP

“What is this? Secondary school? I haven’t got an example to the contrary.” Roman never rose his voice. He never would. But that sarcastic, dry tone he got was indication enough he was lashing out. “It doesn’t matter whether they do or don’t, this conversation is irrelevant.”

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

“It absolutely is, Roman. You wrote a suicide note. Stop playing games with me.” She didn’t raise her voice, but there was a seriousness and command to it. “I want to help you. I told you so on several times and you agreed to give this a chance. But you can’t go where you need to go because you don’t believe you are worthy of the help. That you can be helped. You’ve given me so many examples of why your career holds value in your life, on how you are an asset to this ship and crew, but it seems completely divorced from reality. You were the one who wrote ‘I can’t do this anymore’. That was your truth, but it’s not all of the truth. Whatever is making it so hard to be Roman Alden, to live this life, isn’t going to go away because you wish it to. If it could, it would have already.”

~Leah Hart, NP

“That’s… Don’t you understand? It has nothing to do with this ship.” He seemed to flinch slightly at her using the wording out of his letter. It wasn’t intended for her, her reading it was embarrassing, though he knew she would have. “I know it won’t go away, there’s one way to make it and… That’s why we’re here.”

~ Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

“Bullshit,” Leah said firmly. “You said there’s no shame in accepting help. Why aren’t you allowed to accept help?”

~Leah Hart, NP