Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in Temp Quarters- Assessing the Situation

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Leah Hart (Nurse Practitioner/Counseling) in Temp Quarters- Assessing the Situation

(snip)

“Call me Rand, please.” The young woman was not at all surprised by any of it. She sat up a little straighter. “I have no illusions about the severity of the situation, Lt. Hart. I know this is where he is. He’s been fighting this a long time. I know you can’t tell me, but for the record he added me to all his HIPPA paperwork last year. But he won’t trust you, and I know why. I can talk to you, even if you can’t tell me anything yet.”

Yeoman Rand

She nodded slowly. “There’s lots I don’t know, and the problem is that we’re working on a finite timeline here. There’s only so long we can keep him off duty before we’ll be forced to take more permanent action, but we also can’t rush this process and we can’t release him until we know for certain he doesn’t pose a risk for himself.” Leah didn’t fully buy that Roman would never trust* her, but it was the time factor that was working against her. But the way Rand phrased things definitely caught her attention. She would get to that shortly.

“You say you are worried, which you should be under the circumstances. But which worries are the strongest right now?”

~Leah Hart, NP

“That he doesn’t want to put in the work. Even if he is willing to put in the work if the crew were to find out… He would be to ashamed to stay. He lives for Star Fleet. It’s his only purpose in life. Roman is not an emotionally intelligent person. Questions that are easy for us to understand elude him and he honestly doesn’t know how to answer. You say you are on a tight time line, but he has to learn things he was never taught, and find a way forward. It’s a long journey to make in so short a time.”

Yeoman Rand

“You’re right, it is a long journey and those are all realistic fears.” Leah’s expression softened. “But if you set those fears aside, what do you know is true about this situation, about Roman himself? Things maybe he doesn’t yet know”

~Leah Hart, NP

Rand spoke without hesitation. “That Jay’s death is not his fault, and it’s okay for him to keep living. He is not a consolation prize.”

Yeoman Rand

Leah knew who Jay was, and she knew Roman’s file, but details on a page did not give context. There was no way for her to know the background details of someone’s life unless they told her. This was the messy process she was working on with Roman and Rand’s words were more than just insight. It was a catalyst. She certainly wasn’t going to turn this info away, nor would she tell Roman that Rand told her. The PTSD had been the direction she wanted to move with him, but he spooked easily and lashed out. She was hunting for different ways in and here was one dropped in her lap. She’d have to be exceptionally careful though. “Say more,” Leah said.

~Leah Hart, NP

Rand looked at her and recognized caution. “What do you want to know. I will tell you.” Roman wouldn’t forgive her, but that was okay. She’d live with it, as long as he lived.

“Whatever you feel comfortable with and is necessary to share.” Insight from loved ones was often extremely useful. Leah wasn’t going to waste this opportunity, but she also wanted to make sure that no matter what was said, she was simply taking the information as from Rand’s lens. It was her interpretation of aspects of Roman and this was simply allowing Leah to form a more full picture of the man and his life.

“Roman and Jay met when they were 5. They went through school together, entered the Academy together. Jay’s father is the reason Roman entered Star Fleet. They learned and competed in jiu jitsu together. When Roman’s family disowned him, it was the Calianos who took him in, gave him a home, and raised him, loved him.”

“Roman’s ancestry goes back to British nobility, and his family has an over inflated sense of their worth. They raised him to believe he is better and entitled, but he isn’t that way. He was raised by nannies. When he didn’t fall in line with their desires, his family disowned him. Their behavior toward him was abusive.”

She had wondered if there was something along the lines amongst all this. The withdrawn, almost fear-based reactions struck Leah as being deeply rooted.

“They hadn’t talked to him until…” Rand sighed, “until his brother and his family were murdered, assassinated. They demanded he come home and fulfill his obligations to the Alden line. He is the only living male heir. They had ‘no choice bit to let him return, now’.”

“The Calianos write him regularly. In fact they were the ones that told him about his brother, not his family. They miss him, they want to see him. Roman feels he can’t replace Jay. They don’t want him too. They just want their other son back. Roman may not be the Calianos’ blood, but he is their son.” She looked past Hart for a moment. “Then the group that went after his brother snuck onto the Sentinel and went after Roman and then me. He was stuck in sickbay when they bombed my office. He blames himself because I got hurt.”

Yeoman Rand

Leah nodded. “Thank you for your insights. As with Roman, whatever we share is confidential. I don’t know how any of this will help me yet, but if it does I’m grateful to have some more context.” She gave Rand a rueful smile. “His pain is deep. Anyone can see that. And this process of a psyc hold is difficult for everyone. We always do our best to maintain as much dignity for a person while also protecting them from themselves. It’s a contradiction that we can’t avoid. But as soon as it seems right, my goal is always to bring things back into the mix that can help them feel connected to their life.” Leah leaned forward, her gaze deep. “I’m not going to lie, Rand. I’m worried that if he were to go right back to living with you that we would have a tragedy on our hands. It’s not about you or what you can and can’t do for him. He needs more help than you can offer and I know that’s why you talked to Doctor Kreed. I want you to know that you have given him a precious gift he doesn’t yet realize and that is a fighting chance at life. I want you to remember that in the coming days when the hard moments come, okay?”

“Now, the concern I have is that as you said, Starfleet is the reason he exists. To an extent having a singular focus can be wonderful for us at different times in our lives. It gives us direction when we might otherwise wander. But when we tie our identity to something so fully, it can become an unhealthy obsession and anyone who gets in the way can become collateral damage, whether that person realizes or not. And I’m trying to understand an aspect of all of this, so I have one more question before I get to the reason I wanted to see you. Can you tell me how you two met and about your relationship? I would like to understand this piece of his life a bit better. from your perspective.”

~Leah Hart, NP