Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in Fear and Grief

Posted by Lieutenant Kreed (Chief Medical Officer) in Fear and Grief

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in Fear and Grief
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
It was one of his lab notebooks, definitely. But it was open to a page with what looked like a letter - or rather, multiple drafts of a letter. Each one started out similarly, with a few differences:

Miranda,

I love you so much I cannot bear to make you care for me any longer. You’ll be sad, but ultimately better off without me. There were a couple like that, with various wordings, down the page with a space between each draft. Then the next section:

It’s nothing to do with you, but I can’t keep going like this forever. I’m sorry to write you this way but if I were to tell you beforehand, you would have attempted to stop me.

The letter went on in such ways, with several different drafts with different wordings for each section. Finally, it ended with the same drafts of:

I’m sorry to leave you this way. It is no fault of yours, rather my own shortcomings.

Love you always. There were a few alternate closings to the same effect. It overall took up a few pages of the notebook. There were small wrinkled spots on some of the pages… tears.

~ Roman

Rand felt cold and couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t see much either through the tears. She had the absurd thought that she wasn’t the only accomplished actor. She knew he was sad, that he was depressed, but this…she never suspected this. She knew what she was supposed to do. That was abundantly clear. She wished Randy was here. He and Roman had finally created a rapport. He wasn’t and there was only one person she could tell. She didn’t know how to help him herself.

She closed her eyes briefly. He’d done this for her, she could do no less now. She wouldn’t do less. He would never forgive her, but as long as he was okay in the end that was all that mattered. She found her boots, slipped them on, grabbed Pipkin and put her in her cage. She went into the bathroom, twisted her hair quickly into a bun and splashed her face. She couldn’t breathe, but no one could know that. They would go find Roman, tell them she was sick. She tucked the notebook into her PaDD and slung it over her shoulder by the strap. She tried to breathe deeply and put a smile on her face. She was just a yeoman going about her duties. People were used to seeing her run from place to place. Now just to make it to sickbay without anyone from sciences seeing her.

She walked into sickbay and approached the nurse. “I need to see Lt. Kreed immediately.” He said she could talk to him, and she was going to do so. She bit the inside of her cheek to help keep her breath steady. She knew with his enhanced vision Kreed would know she was distressed, but for now, as far as the nurse knew, she was simply the CO’s yeoman with duties that needed to be completed.

Yeoman Rand

The nurse nodded and said “Just a second, Yeoman.” and she pressed a button. “Doctor, Yeoman Rand to see you.” “Send her in.” the CMO’s voice said. “He’s in his office.” she said and nodded towards the door.

“Thank you,” she hurried past the nurse and towards Kreed’s office. She stepped through when the door opened and let it close behind her.

The door slid open and Kreed was seated at his desk. His reptilian face looked up from a notebook as she entered and he said “Yeoman Rand, what can-” and he stopped short and said “What’s wrong?” as the door slid closed.

Kreed, CMO

Rand tried to take a breath but it was unsteady, and her hands shook as she took a notebook out of the compartment of her large bulky PaDD. She set it down in front of him, open to the drafted letters. “Help him.” Her voice was pleading, but it was all she could get out and keep her breath steady and not absolutely break down in sobs. It was difficult anyway, but added to the heightened anxiety from the meds it was impossible. Her eyes teared up again, but otherwise she forced herself to stand quietly.

Yeoman Rand

Kreed read the letters and then looked at Rand. “You did the right thing in coming to me. He is a very troubled individual… but we will do what we can to help him. But right now, Lieutenant… he is a risk to this ship.” Kreed reached over and pressed a button. [O] Chief Medical Officer to Captain Asam. Report to Sickbay immediately. [C] He then pressed another button and said [O] Medical to Security. Find Commander Alden and bring him to Sickbay immediately. [O] He looked at Rand and then added [O] We have a situation and need his expertise. [C] He vlosed the comms and said “Please… sit. And I am sure your anxiety is in heights you haven’t dealt with in some time. If you need it, we can give you a mild sedative. It won’t impact your cognitive abilities, but it will help ease any discomfort.”

Kreed, CMO