Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Leah Hart (Nurse Practitioner/Counseling) in En Route- Mental Health Priorities

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in En Route- Mental Health Priorities

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Leah Hart (Nurse Practitioner/Counseling) in En Route- Mental Health Priorities
Posted by… suppressed (11) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

There was a long silence. Roman glanced off screen again, then back to Leah. “I… avoided a physical. Doctor Kreed had to give me something for uhm…” It was embarrassing to him. The words didn’t want to come out. “for anxiety. To finish the physical.”

~ Roman

She nodded. “[o]Okay, that’s actually really good to know. What part about being in Sickbay makes you anxious?[o]

~Leah Hart, NP

It doesn’t, he almost said. That was his usual answer. He couldn’t say that if he wanted to keep his career. His position. “I don’t know,” he said instead.

~ Roman

[o] Well let’s break it down then. When do you first notice the symptoms of your anxiety showing up?[o]

~Leah Hart, NP

“I don’t know, when I get to Sickbay?” That definitely wasn’t true, but Roman objected to calling it anxiety in the first place, he didn’t realize the symptoms really started at the bare mention of Sickbay or medical.

~ Roman

Leah nodded, her unseen hand moving across the PADD as she took notes. [o]Describe it. What does it feel like in your body? What sort of thoughts go through your head?[o]

~Leah Hart, NP

“It used to feel like nothing.” Roman said with a shrug. “Now… my heart races and I feel like I can’t breathe. I get… sweaty.” He shrugged again. He looked very uncomfortable.

~ Roman

She looked down at her PADD and then back up at him. [o]When did you first notice this change? The new symptoms?[o] Leah had enough background info from his file to make some experienced and educated guesses, but especially in a situation like this, it was important that Roman use his own words and not rely on other to tell him how he felt and what he experienced.

~Leah Hart, NP

“Last year.” Roman replied simply, not wanting to go into detail. He really didn’t want to talk about it. He hated talking about this stuff. But it was after the attempt on his life that left his heart damaged that his anxiety symptoms changed.

~ Roman

She gazed at him, her brown eyes searching his features. [o]Tell me more…[o] Leah said more softly.

~Leah Hart, NP

Roman shifted in his seat, averting his gaze from the screen. He shrugged almost awkwardly. “After… I was in Sickbay last year it was like… My body started responding differently to stress.” He shrugged again and shook his head. “I know it has nothing to do with what happened to me medically. I just don’t understand it.”

~ Roman

It was a lot like she had said earlier, people often knew their truths, but they either couldn’t face it it it was covered with other things. She could drive hard and force him to see it, but that wasn’t useful for him and it didn’t help her end goal. [o]Sometimes when we experience a really difficult moment or time, our minds can’t really process it at the time. But our body remembers those feelings. So it might not be the physiological side of that experience in Sickbay, but your body could be saying’ Hey, remember that time? That was hard. We need to go back and make it better’. Or, sometimes it’s that our nervous system gets stuck in a loop, because something felt dangerous about being in Sickbay. It’s that reminder that that all felt terrible and we don’t want to feel that way again, so if we find a way to not feel that way again, we’ll do it. It’s not conscious, Roman. You’re not deciding to feel that way, to have those reactions. But the only way to stop them is to interrupt the loop, to address the triggers so that they have less power over us, and we get to decide how we react.[o] She paused there to assess his reaction. Her use of his first name was intentional as well. She felt that they had pushed past that fine line where rank was necessary.

~Leah Hart, NP

The use of his first name was a bit jarring to him, no one really called him that except Rand and Randy. His rank, or his surname, was more common. It wasn’t just that, but his usual rejection of mental health issues, that caused him to push back. The fact that the trigger she was mentioning, was linked to something he wasn’t willing to talk about. “I’m not here for a session, I’m here for an eval.” He said, crossing his arms once again.

~ Roman

Leah was nonplussed. [o]That might be, but I can’t evaluate a situation I don’t understand. These symptoms you’re experiencing aren’t going away and they didn’t come from nowhere. They will only continue to get worse the more you ignore them. And we both know what the outcome of that situation will be. Since we’re both committed to avoiding that outcome, we have to push, and yes, I’m going to make observations about what you’re telling me. It’s fine to be defensive, but I did warn you this wouldn’t be comfortable. If its comfortable, this whole discussion is pointless and won’t get us anywhere.[o]

[o]Now, how often have you been in Sickbay since last year. And don’t bother lying to me, I can check the records,[o] Hart said firmly.

~Leah Hart, NP

Roman scowled, Rand always said the same thing. “Since last year?” He counted them out. “Four follow-ups, all last year, and yesterday’s physical.” All the other medical stuff had been before that.

~ Roman