[O]You’re not serious? You want to go?[o]

Breath, Leah. Deep, full breaths and maintain a soft smile. “Yes, Mother, it’s a great opportunity and they need my skills.”

[o]But it’s a starship. You were making such progress where you were. You’re not even going to have a separate department.[o]

“I’m a nurse practitioner. I’m there to do whatever they have need of, whether that is conducting a crew physical, assisting with a trauma case, or helping someone with their mental health needs. It’s exactly what I should be doing.” Why? Why did she let herself get sucked into these debates with her every. damn. Time?!

Dr. Liliana Hart pursed her lips and gazed at her daughter with nothing short of reproachfulness. [o]So what about your career? If you stayed at Starfleet Medical, you’d be the senior NP on the wards in a couple years. You’d have your pick of any assignment you want. Hell, you could go anywhere you want, within or outside of Starfleet.[o]

And there it was, yet again. The not-so-subtle ‘you shouldn’t be in Starfleet’ dig. “I’m happy in Starfleet and I don’t intend to come back to Aldebaran to work there. At least not at this point in my life. Besides, rank and position aren’t everything. I want to enjoy my work.”

Sadness swept through Liliana’s brown eyes. [o]You used to be so much more ambitious. You are capable of so much Evangeline. So much more. I just hate to see you get ten, fifteen years down the line and regret not trying more.[o]

It was always the criticism couched as concern, but Leah knew it for what it was: disappointment that Leah insisted on making Liliana look bad. Anger at her rejecting her mother’s ‘help’, and for joining Starfleet when her mother had absolutely said no. But Leah was a grown woman who was fully capable of making her own decisions, thank you very much. And her mother’s use of her first name (the one she had chosen for her daughter) despite knowing Leah’s preference just spoke to the fact that nothing was going to change.

“My career is not up for debate, Mother. I just called as a courtesy, because it felt rude not to tell you before I left since I obviously won’t be able to make my trip there. And since it’s a new assignment, I don’t know when I’ll get leave.” Leah leaned in towards the screen. “You could just say congratulations on the new position and good luck.”

Her mother sighed. [o]I didn’t mean to sound so critical, but… I worry about you. I just want you safe.[o]

Leah sighed. “I know, but living life at all is dangerous. Yes, I am in a place where I am exposed to more risk and that will increase. But on a planet or a ship, they are risks I’m willing to take because I believe in the oath I made. And there are people who need me.”

[o]Your family needs you.[o]

Leah shook her head. “This is about you, or Anabel, or Abuela. This is about me and what I feel called to do.”

Hurt swept across Liliana’s face. [o]Maybe one day, you can factor your family into the equation. But be careful, Evangeline. Not everything will be just waiting for you when you finally come to your senses.[C]

The screen went blank, and Leah sat back with a jolt. Just once she would love a conversation with her mother that didn’t inflict a guilt trip or make Leah somehow feel like she had done something wrong. She knew her mother wasn’t going to take this change well, and she even understood it. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t left hurt and frustrated every time. Why did she put up with it.

A voice came to her mind, familiar in its rolling accent and warmth. Family is everything, it’s what binds us together, gives us life. It is messy, but mi amor it’s worth it.

Some days she thought her father was right, other times she felt he had seen only the good and ignored the bad. And he tried so hard to get Leah to find peace with her mother. But it was never the other way around. It was always her bending over backwards trying to make her mother see her. Liliana refused, or was incapable. Either could be true. But that was not her problem, certainly not today. Right now she needed to finish packing and go tie up loose ends at the hospital, because she had a transport to catch.

[To be Continued…]

~Leah Hart, NP