Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side - sim: Lost in the Dark

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in side - sim: Lost in the Dark

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side - sim: Lost in the Dark
Posted by… suppressed (53) by the Post Ghost! 👻
Rand didn’t sleep well. She didn’t have nightmares, the medication took care of that. But she was restless, and didn’t actually fall asleep like Randy thought she had. Even when Roman came to bed she didn’t sleep for a long while. An ache in her chest and the feeling like she would be sick woke her. She did her best not to wake Roman as she dragged herself out of bed. Once in the bathroom her dinner decided it wouldn’t stay in her stomach.

She sank to the floor, pulling a towel down. She was almost wedged between the cabinet and wall, curled in a fetal position. The night’s events replayed over and over in her head. Each time making the sick feeling worse and worse until she thought she might be sick again. She fell asleep, her sobs muffled by the towel.

She woke sometime later and and used the chair to drag herself up. Her head hurt, her nose was stuffy and she looked like she had been crying. She used a cloth to wash her face and then brushed her teeth. She stumbled around in the dark on her way to get water and bumped into the table and almost knocked a chair over, making a lot of noise.

Rand

Hide in the bathroom and cry

Roman was deeply and most comfortably asleep, enjoying the escape a deep, long sleep could give from his own problems. He did not budge when Rand got up, nor while she was in the bathroom. Even after the few good night’s rest he’d had, his body was still catching up on quality sleep.

The rustling of the table and chairs was loud enough to jolt him out of his sleep with a start, grabbing next to him for Rand in that protective stance of his. Realizing she wasn’t there, he called out, his voice a little groggy, “Miranda…?” He turned and glanced around the room, too tired to see well in the dark. “What’s going on?”

~ Roman

Rand tried to steady the chair but just fumbled it. She made a slightly distressed sound when he said her name. She didn’t want to wake him up. If she was quiet maybe he would go back to sleep. Then he asked her what was going on. She didn’t answer right away. Her throat was tight and she was afraid he would know she had been crying. She had to say something though. “Bha mi dìreach ag iarraidh beagan uisge. (I just wanted some water.)” She tried to edge around the table, slowly, shuffling her feet to keep from running into anything, but bumped the other chair in the process.

Rand

Roman sat up and then slowly stood, steadying himself before moving over to help her. He reached her and hugged her, pressing her to him, and felt wetness against his shirt. “Were you crying?” He asked, concerned, trying to lead her back toward the bed. “Let me get your water.” He thought she was having trouble with her head, and that must be why she was running into everything. So he’d sit her down and get the water for her.

~ Roman

She leaned into him as he hugged her. Oh…she didn’t want to tell him she had been crying because then he would ask why. So she lied…kind of. It wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t telling him everything either. “Fhuair mi tinn. Dh’fheuch mi ri glanadh. (I got sick. I tried to clean up.)” She was having trouble withbher head, made worse by the long bout of sobbing, the uncomfortable way she had fallen asleep and then standing up way to fast.

Roman led her back over to the bed. She held onto him, swaying a little against his arm. She sat, wringing her hands in the dark. She should have just stayed in the bathroom then she wouldn’t have tripped into the table. “Cha robh e airson do dhùsgadh. (Didn’t mean to wake you.)”

Rand

She was speaking in Gaelic again, and if she got sick? These were bad signs for her head and really worrying to Roman. He got her a glass of water and gave it to her. “Let me handle cleaning up. You rest and drink that.” Then he went into the bathroom. She’d done a decent job of cleaning up, but while he was in there, he paged Randy and told him about her symptoms.

~ Roman

Rand held the glass on both hands. She nodded dociley, “Tha,” she muttered agreeing. She sipped, clearing her mouth. The water was cold and after the first sip she drank it all too fast. The cold and thinness of the water hitting her aching stomach. Roman was in the bathroom and she groaned at the dull ache. She considered getting up for more, but she thought moving might make her sick again.

Randy was a bit groggy when Roman paged him. It was 0300 and he had been fast asleep. Randy pulled a robe on and made his way next door, and didn’t bother knocking. The light flashed inside from the corridor as Randy came in. Randy caught a glimpse of Rand sitting on the bed, her face was red and blotchy, and more than a little green. She had one arm wrapped around her stomach. Randy hurried over and sat down next to her. “Rand what’s wrong?”

“Fhuair mi tinn. Tha mi a’ smaoineachadh… dh’òl mi an uisge agam ro luath. (I got sick. I think…I drank my water too fast.)” Randy took the glass from her and set it aside. He put an arm around her and then a hand over her forehead. No fever, but he couldn’t tell if her words were slurred or if her she just felt that sick. “Alright. Let me give you something?” Rand wanted to say no but she just shrugged. Randy helped her lay down and then opened his med kit. “Roman, would you bring a cold cloth?”

The tricorder didn’t show any signs of fever or infection, but her heart rate was high, and her BP was higher than normal. He fixed the hypo and gave it to her. “Lay on your left, that will help.”

Rand

Roman had finished up in the bathroom and came out with the requested cold cloth. He sat by Rand, bringing her another water along with the cloth. The water went on the side table for now. The cloth he gave to her. “Do you feel any better?” He asked, worry in his voice. He knew she might not have wanted him to call Randy, but he was way too worried about her not to.

~ Roman

Rand wanted the water, but her stomach still hurt. She took the cloth but just fidgetted with it. Randy took it from her and used it to wipe her face and then folded it and laid it on the back if her neck. Rand reached for Roman’s hand. “Chan eil. (No.)” Her stomach ached sharply but as long as she was still she was okay. After a few minutes her stomach calmed and she was suddenly very tired and she blinked her eyes a couple of times. Had Randy given her something to make her sleep? “Uisge? (Water?)”

Randy stared at her as she kept up the Gaelic, but he decided not to say anything for now and upset her. He wanted her to relax. He nodded to Roman. “Just sips.”

Roman gave her the water and let her sip it, trying to make sure she sipped slowly. When she was done, he let her lay back down. It didn’t seem like long before she was dozing again. Roman moved to the table, carefully, and sat across from Randy.

When Rand had seemed to doze off Randy moved over to the table and waved Roman over with him. “Her pulse is running high and her BP is normal but high for her. Could be because she was sick and hurting. No fever or sign of infection. She’s also dehydrated. I don’t like she’s reverted to Gaelic again. But she doesn’t feel good.” He shrugged, not sure what to make if it. “I will check her again in the morning. I gave her something for her stomach. An ice pack might help if it’s the concussion, but the cold cloth will help calm her. Let her rest, but call me if she wakes again. Do you need anything?”

Rand

“Her head seems fine? No extra swelling?” He questioned worriedly. He nodded when Randy said he’d check again in the morning. “No, I’m fine.” Roman looked really tired. Rand had woken him from a good, deep sleep.

~ Roman

Randy shook hisbhead, “It’s the same as it was when Elbbirt scanned her last night. The bandage will help, but it’s too soon to see. I’m not sure why she got sick, but it’s possible it’s nerves or simply aggrevated her concussion.” He stood up and patted Roman on the shoulder. “Try to sleep.”

Rand was truly out that time. With the Zofran to settle her stomach, Rand didn’t wake again, and since she wasn’t allowed to work, she hadn’t set her alarm. No need to get up early or maintain her routine.

Rand

Roman made his way back to the bed and plopped down. He cuddled back in against Rand and was quickly back to sleep. When his alarm went off, it felt too early. He turned it off to let Rand sleep and slipped out of bed, getting ready, and then sat at the desk to get started in the morning reports. He wanted Rand’s help, but he was worried after she was sick. She needed her sleep.

~ Roman

There was a soft rustle of sheets when Rand rolled over. She reached to put her arm around him searching for his hand, but his absence woke her. He was gone. Every horrible thought and feeling she had had the night before flooded through her like painful molten ice. The lost lines, the gapping missing holes of herself, the way he had looked at her, knowing she had lied and it broke her heart, Elbbirt taking her off duty again, not just off duty but confined to her quarters. The feeling settled in her stomach, ripping and churning while hot tears tracked down her face. She hid her face into the pillow letting it muffle the sound - unaware of the time or that Roman was working at the desk.

Rand

Roman turned when he heard the sheets rustle. Rand had rolled and had her face against his pillow. Roman did not seem as happy as yesterday. Randy had given him the same meds, and they were helping, but it was a lower dose so he could move around and work and today was still very hard. “Morning Rand.” His voice was soft and loving and he was giving her one of those I love you so much I don’t even know what to do with it looks. He patted his hand against a stool next to him - it was already there waiting for her. “Want to help with these reports? Or do you need more sleep?”

~ Roman

Rand went really still when she heard Roman’s voice. He was still there? “Roman?” Her voice was all muffled. She rubbed her face against his pillow to wipe away where she had been crying. She took a slow controlled breath and then looked over at him. The room was dark except for the light of the computer. He was giving her one of those wonderful looks that she didn’t deserve. He patted the stool and she smiled a little, but she didn’t quite feel it. She pushed herself up to sit shaking her head. “Chan e, chan fheum mi barrachd cadal. (No, I don’t need more sleep.)”

Were they really going to let her work? She knew Randy said she could work from the room, but she thought he just said that to placate her. She didn’t say anything about that though because she didn’t want Roman to change his mind. “Tha mi an-còmhnaidh ag iarraidh cuideachadh. (I always want to help.)” It was easier to hide the tear strained quaver in her voice with Gaelic. She still had to think about English most days, which stressed her out and made her voice sound upset anyway.

She moved to the side of the bed and spotted the rest of the glass of water and reached for it. It would be quite obvious as he watched her that she was being very careful not to spill it. She sipped the water until it was gone. Remembering dropping the plate the night before, Rand set glass back on the table before standing. She stood carefully, she wasn’t sure where her robe was, and she guessed she didn’t need to get dressed since she was confined to the room again. Getting up obviously made her dizzy and she kept a hand on the wall. She looked at the stool, and wasn’t sure she would be steady enough without a back to lean against. It wasn’t tall like the one in the lab, so she sat carefully and pulled her PaDD toward her, one hand holding onto the desk.

Rand

Roman put an arm around her when she sat on the stool, supporting her against him. “I’ve finished some of them, but…” He sighed, “they go faster when you help.” And then he gave her a little squeeze. “How is your head? You seem like you’re having some trouble balancing.”

~ Roman

Rand leaned against him and looked at the report and then the ones he had finished. Normally this was something she did rapid fire. Scanning them a short second faster than she flipped the page. Now she paused and read each carefully. She paused and looked at him. He was worried and so she made an effort at English. “Umm…okay? The zo…zofran…makes mmme dizzy…too.” Then she turned on her PaDD. The wring disk was in it. She rummaged around the desk until she found it and switched them out. She looked at the next report, the astrometrics lab, then opened several more files. Then in very quick order with a couple of taps the report was filled and on his screen waiting for him to read, fill in the sumary and then sign. She looked up too fast to make sure it was on his screen. Her stylus clattered against the desk top as she dropped it to grab the edge if the desk.

Rand

Roman nodded though it worried him she was still having trouble with English. A couple of taps and a finished report showed up for him to sign. He was reading over it when he heard her stylus drop and he reached over to help her. “Rand?” She said she was okay but then she kept making herself dizzy. She said Zofran always made her dizzy which made him feel a little better… He knew Randy was coming by in a little bit. Randy would do scans.

~ Roman

“Duilich. Gluais ro luath. (Sorry. Moved too fast.)” Rand picked up her stylus and opened another blank form and labeled it for the biology lab. She opened the submitted notes and the lead’s report as well, and soon she had the report filled and waiting for Roman to review. While she waited she pulled up each of the final lab reports to start compiling thr department report.

Usually she would start compiling Rogers’ reports in between, but she didn’t have them. She would have to go collect them. She even started to get up to get dressed so she could.

Rand

Roman finished the reports she’d put together for him and then saw her getting dressed. “Rand? Where are you going? You’re staying here today, remember?” He didn’t want to have to get up, he was still having a bit of his own dizziness. But he would if he had to.

~ Roman

Rand stopped, “Oh…” Right, she was confined to their quarters. She dropped her stockings to the floor and pushed her boots away with her toes. “I…I have to g…get the reports.” She waved at the computer. “Ddddidn’t come…come through.” She couldn’t do her work if she didn’t have them. Roman wasn’t going to let her leave. She slipped her robe over her pajamas and pulled it closed. She got up and made her way back over to the stool and sat down. “Ummm…” she flipped through the reports. “I…I think,” she nodded going through them. “That’s all of yours.”

“Randy will get them.” Roman said, soft but firm and full of worry, and gestured for her to sit down by him. “Your head needs rest. Not you running all over the ship.”

Rand stared at her hands as she sat. Of course Randy would get it. Randy took care of everything. Even gave up a career he was passionate about to follow her and make everything alright. She sighed. She didn’t mean to bother her head. She didn’t even remember running. She just wanted to be useful. She didn’t like other people having to do her job, even if that person was Randy.

There was a knock on the door announcing Randy’s arrival.

Rand

“Enter.” Roman called, still sitting at his desk. He was glad Randy had arrived - there were too many things that could be her head that were worrying him. He was trying not to focus on other things that might be bothering him. It wasn’t as easy as yesterday, but it wasn’t as difficult as normal, due to the meds Randy had given him the night before.

~ Roman

Randy walked in with a tray of a hot full English breakfast. “You’re both up. How are you feeling Rand?” He set the tray down and then set his PaDD on the desk.

Rand looked up at him. The food smelled awful.
He was going to make her eat all that. She licked her lips and spoke very carefully trying to hide the stutter. “I’m…okay.” She forced herself to smile, then she stood up and as quickly as she could without making herself dizzy she went and hid in the bathroom.

Randy sighed. “Really mad at me for telling Elbbirt, isn’t she?” He sat down in a chair. “Well how has the morning gone?” Randy looked as tired as he sounded.

Rand

The food looked unusually good to Roman. The meds were keeping his stomach settled and apparently his body was taking advantage of that to catch up on all the missed meals. He found himself reaching for the plate. “It’s been… Alright.” He sighed and glanced at the bathroom where she’d gone. “She’s dizzy, still speaking Gaelic… She just seems off, somehow.” He shook his head and shrugged. It was really worrying him.

~ Roman

“I’ll give her a full scan. I’ll ask Elbbirt. He might want her to come in for more detailed scans. She is due for another eval at the end of the week. But she still struggles translating, so if she’s not feeling well Gaelic may just be easier.” He sighed but was relieved to see Roman eating, really eating. “I will talk to her. I know she’s bored and is probably upset about being restricted to her room today.” He lifted his PaDD and started sending files over. “Did she help you with your reports at all? How did she do?”

Rand

Roman nodded. “She won’t like it if she gets asked to sickbay.” He warned. She was almost as averse to sickbay these days as Roman was. Maybe he’d been a bad influence on her in that way. He nodded again to answer the second question, talking between bites of food. His plate was nearly empty in, what was for him lately, a record amount of time. “She helped. She did fine with them, I didn’t notice any issues. Then she started to get ready to go get the captain’s reports.” He sighed, “She… Wasn’t exactly happy when I said she can’t go.”

~ Roman

Randy had to stop himself from telling Roman to slow down. He didn’t think he had ever seen Roman eat that much, that fast. It took all his composure to not even appear to notice. “The Captain’s reports?” He sighed, “They are sent to me and we do them together. That way I can run and get whatever is missing.” Randy grinned, gently an adoring look as he turned to look at the closed bathroom door. “She is so quietly stubborn.” He shrugged, “She might not like it, but she may just have to go. As her brother I don’t want to put her through that, but also as her brother, I don’t want her to get worse, either.”

Rand

“I don’t want her to get worse, either.” Roman agreed. He nodded, “When she comes out, you two can finish them, then.” He finished the last of his plate and then looked at it as if surprised it were empty, or looking for more. “Is there more of this? Chef’s cooking is excellent today.”

~ Roman

Randy lifted the second plate off the tray and passed it over. “Here you go. I brought one for Rand just incase, but since she was sick I brought toast and oatmeal too.” He stood up, “I’ll go get another plate. Be right back.” He stood up and slipped out the door, calling down to Gorshin to make another plate.

Rand had no intention of coming out until Randy left. It was stubborn and pointless. Randy wasn’t going to leave. She heard Randy leave, but also heard him say he was coming back, so she stayed in the small room.

Rand

Roman munched the food off the second plate, feeling a little bad about eating Rand’s too. When about a quarter of it was gone, he went to the bathroom door and knocked. “Rand? Are you okay in there?” She had been in there forever.

~ Roman

She had been in there forever, but she didn’t want to come out. She’d been crying again. Plus she didn’t want to talk to Randy. “I…the food…the smell made me sick.” That was true, all that grease and rich smells made her stomach rebel rather than feel hungry. “W…wanted you ttto ea…eat.” But it also made her sick because she knew Randy bringing food meant he was going on duty and she couldn’t pretend it was just a lazy morning anymore. Worthless Rand would have to stay locked in her quarters because she was trouble and couldn’t contribute to the crew.

Rand

“Oh. Okay.” Roman said through the door. “Randy brought you toast and oatmeal, that might be easier on your stomach.” He really just wanted her to feel better. “We’ll be out here when you’re ready.” He remembered, rather suddenly, that Randy had made him go on shift late because Randy wanted scans of him as well. Oddly, that didn’t bother him as much as it normally would. He sat back down and started munching food again.

~ Roman

“O…okay.” Of course Randy brought her something else. He thought of everything, was always prepped for everything. Not like her. (Conviently forgetting that this was a particular trait that Rand was well known for and made her so sought after as a Cpt’s Yeoman.) She felt hollow and empty and broken. She wanted Roman to come in there, hold her, she wanted to cry, sob, have a fit of terrified hysterics, she wanted someone to fix her. No one could fix her though, she was broken the day she was born and always would be.

She tried to convince herself to reach for the door control and open the door, but by the time she reached for it she heard the chair scrap slightly as Roman sat back down. Her hand dropped back to her lap and she sank onto the shower chair.

Randy knocked, but went ahead and entered, carrying another plate. Gorshin had met him at the lift. If Alden or Rand wanted more he would starve himself to make sure they got it. Not that the rotund chef hadn’t already eaten as he cooked. Rand set the plate down and frowned. “She’s still in there?”

Rand

Roman nodded. “She said the smell of the food made her ill. I offered her the toast and oatmeal, but she still hasn’t come out.” He shrugged. “Maybe you can talk to her?” He was still munching on the plate of breakfast. Finally with three quarters of the second plate gone he leaned back in his chair with a slight groan. He’d eaten too much too quickly, especially considering how little he’d been eating lately. “That was a great breakfast.” It really was nothing overly special, but Roman’s hunger made it taste better to him.

~ Roman

Randy nodded, “Chef really went all out today. He was quite pleased to send more.” Finally Randy had had enough and walked over to the door and knocked, “Rand? Come on, open the door. You can’t stay in there forever.” He didn’t even hear her moving. “Rand if you’re mad at me for telling Elbbirt come out here and yell at me, don’t give me the silent treatment.” He waited starting to worry she was hurt or really sick. He switched to Gaelic hoping to conjole her into responding. “A bheil thu ceart gu leòr?…Rand? Fosgail an doras, mas e do thoil e … roinn mi seòmar leat airson 23 bliadhna. Chan eil eagal orm dìreach coiseachd a-steach an sin.”

Rand knew he meant it; they were closer than most siblings after all. Still she didn’t open the door, it didn’t seem to matter, nothing did. She heard the soft snick as Randy pressed the controls and the door slid open. Randy looked at her sitting on the chair, bandaged head resting against the wall, arms wrapped around her stomach, she was pale. “Aww, caileag ghrinn.” Randy went into the bathroom and all Roman could hear was soft muttering from Randy. A moment later they appeared, Randy’s arm around her, and led her over to the table. “Try to eat. It will help.” He set a piece if plain toast in front of her.

He turned to Roman, maybe he could get her to try, instead of just picking at the crust of the toast.

Rand

Roman would rather not look at another bite of food just then, but he was worried about her not wanting to eat, so he leaned over by her and put his arm around her again. “I had a whole plate. You can manage a couple of bites for me, can’t you?” Then he gave her a please look, almost playfully, and smiled softly at her.

~ Roman

His arm felt so warm and steady against her back, so reassuring. She didn’t deserve it. Rand glanced at the mostly eaten plate and the empty one and then the third full plate. Roman ate a lot. Then she felt guilty. Roman hadn’t been able to eat well in weeks. He made himself because he had to. She couldn’t do any less and even be remotely worthy of sitting at the same table. He gave her such a sweet loving smile, she only felt more guilty and it knotted and churned her gut. She didn’t nod. She glanced in his direction but didn’t look at him. She picked up the bread and took a bite. Then another.

Roman smiled again when she started eating and gave her a little squeeze. “That’s better. Just a little bit so you have something in there?” And then he poked her belly.

There was no blush, not grin, no squirm. There was only a slight tightening around her eyes. A grimace because her stomach hurt, maybe? She took another bite of the toast. She was supposed to, they expected it, so she did.

Randy watched her relieved when she started to eat. She wasn’t looking at him either. She was mad at him, but she never stayed mad. He would just have to wait. He looked at Roman. “Ready for your scan so you can go to work?”

Rand

Roman froze then and nodded more woodenly, giving Rand’s hand a squeeze. “Scan. Yes.” He took a little breath. One scan and he could go work. He was going to be behind, having been off again. His scan looked better than before. Not quite 100% back to before the jiu jitsu incident yet but he would be fine to work as long as he was taking breaks when he felt like he needed one. The meds he was on helped by keeping him from being too stressed and keeping his heart calm.

~ Roman

When he squeezed her hand she did look up at him, her look curious more than confused. She hadn’t been paying attention and had no idea what had been said. She saw Randy take out his tricorder. Oh…right, medical scan. She put the toast down and held his hand, lacing her fingers through his and squeezed just a little. Randy finished his scan and smiled. “Everything looks good. No jiu jitsu yet. But you should be fine for work. Take breaks when you need it. Don’t stand or move too fast because of the meds still in your system. In other words,” Randy gave him a knowing look, “use common sense. Oh and you have to leave the lab on time according to Elbbirt, but since you are going in ‘late’ you have some leeway. You’re welcome.”

Rand

Roman squeezed her hand back and then relaxed when Randy said he would be fine for work. He nodded. “Three hours late.” That meant three hours extra later on. Roman liked that. The rest of Randy’s directions went in one ear and out the other. Roman was feeling better, which meant he wrote off precautions like “Don’t stand too fast” as overcautious. He smiled at Rand and then hugged her. “You call me if you need anything, I’ll have my comm all day.”

~ Roman

Rand nodded, hugging him back, knowing she wouldn’t call him. She started to ask him to give Nibbles some extra attention since she had missed 2 days now. She didn’t though, that was an emotional response and Nibbles was a lab animal. The mouse was supposed to get attached not her. And Nibbles had and now she’d missed more days with Nibbles.

Roman left and Randy turned to his sister. “Okay, I have all the reports you need for Rogers’ reports.” Rand got up and sat down at the computer. She sat in Roman’s chair, which was better than the stool. Randy sat on the stool and as Rand finished each report she sent it to his PaDD. Randy watched her quietly. Roman was right, something was off. Rand was quiet, which was normal, but there was something about the quiet that wasn’t right.

“Alright now before I go, your turn.” He picked up his tricorder. Rand sat there while he did what he had to do. Before he said anything, Rand sighed, “I know…rest. Go away Randy.”

When he left Rand fed the small bowl of treats to Pipkin and then laid down. She was asleep when Randy brought lunch. When she woke up she put the food away and then cried so hard she made herself sick. When Roman returned after his late shift, her dinner was untouched, she was asleep, but it was obvious she had been crying and she had a cold cloth on the back if her neck.

Rand

It was a busy day for Roman. He was behind on everything, both as XO and CSO. In the morning he took care of the XO stuff, running around the ship and dealing with things and then SO. MUCH. PAPERWORK. At least it was distracting. It was easier than it normally would be to keep his mind too busy to fixate. He was not back for lunch, in fact he forgot to eat at all. Too busy. Lucky for the big breakfast. He had a few episodes of lightheadedness that he brushed off and powered through (old habits die hard, apparently).

Then he started on the CSO stuff. Paperwork first, and that took several hours, even with him rushing through it. He was doing it again - burying himself to escape feelings he didn’t want to bother with. He was worried about Rand, but that wasn’t the problem. His memories were becoming problematic again. It was like that in the lab sometimes, this time of year. They were harder to avoid. But for part of the day he was able to fully distract himself and for him that was unusual.

He spent the last part of the day doing labwork: checking on the animals, cleaning cages that needed it, feeding them, observing them, and then some of the other lab stuff that needed doing like identifying samples or labelling and storing things. That was easiest to use to keep his memories away. He remembered Randy saying he was supposed to be out of the lab on time…

But he was already three hours late, did it really matter if he was a little later? There was just a little more he wanted to finish up. When he was done, he was an hour and a half later than he was supposed to be. By the time he was headed back to their quarters he was exhausted and a little dizzy.

He entered their quarters and was disppointed to find Rand asleep already. Then he spotted the cloth on her neck, and then he noticed it was clear she had been crying again. What was it lately? It wasn’t something like his problem, her birthday had been months ago. Was it her head? Or something else, maybe? He’d ask Randy about it tomorrow. He changed out of his uniform, opting to sleep in his underwear, and carefully settled in next to Rand trying not to wake her. He put an arm around her and gently pulled her in close. Had she had her hypo tonight? Maybe he should wake her and be sure. Good sleep would probably help her but her nightmares would only make her cry more.

~ Roman

There was a soft knock from Randy, and when Roman let him in, Randy looked like his day had been as busy as Roman’s. He held a finger to his lips and glanced at the food and gave it a scowl. He walked over with his tricorder and pointed at Rand. He had just finished his duties and hadn’t had time to come by till now. He did a scan on Rand and the scowl deepened. Her BP was still higher than normal and there was no improvement on the concussion and she was more dehydrated than the day before. She would have to stay in her quarters again tomorrow. In a whisper he told Roman that.

“Has she had her meds?” Randy reached into the drawer for the hypo and was able to answer that question. He showed Roman the counter on the side that showed how many doses were left. She hadn’t taken it. He reached past Roman and gave it to her, careful not to wake her up. “You look like you did okay today, but your scan this morning wasn’t 100%. I want to give you another booster. Was the dose last night enough?”

Roman whispered to answer each of his questions, noting how to tell if Rand had taken her dose yet. He nodded to the last question. “It was fine.” Randy looked tired. He recalled from his XO stuff sickbay was extra busy lately. He felt bad for needing him so much.

Randy gave him the same cocktail as the night before. Then with a whispered, “Page me if you need anything,” Randy slipped quietly out the door to bed.

Rand

Roman lay awake for a little while. Not for long though. Did his heart meds usually make him sleepy? He didn’t really have time to contemplate that thought before falling into another good, deep sleep, his arms gently around Rand.

~ Roman

Rand woke some time in the middle of the night with a raging headache and her stomach cramping so bad she was curled into a tight rigid fetal position. (Randy didn’t give her any anti-nausea meds.) She hadn’t eaten so there was nothing for her stomach to expel. She couldn’t have gotten up anyway. She wanted to roll over into Roman but she hurt too much to move. She laid still trying not to think, to just be. She would not wake him up. She wasn’t going to bother his sleep again. He didn’t need to worry about her. Her head and stomach hurt so much she was panting and sweating. Eventually she fell back asleep from pure exhaustion.

Rand

Roman woke to his usual alarm. It was early… He could lay in bed a little longer. He cuddled into Rand. There was no better place than snuggled in with her. When it was time he had to get up, he tried to carefully move away and stand, but he stumbled and knocked something off the night stand. Quietly cursing, he peeked at Rand to see if she had woken.

~ Roman

Rand groaned and it wasn’t her ‘I don’t want to get up’ sound. If she was awake, she didn’t move enough to seem like it. She stayed still and tried to drift off again. That is until the soft sounds of Roman moving around registered. She had to get up. She had to go back to work. What time was it? Was she late. She tried to move faster, but that was a bad idea. Her head was throbbing and she was slightly thirsty but the idea of putting food on her stomach sounded like a bad idea. She sat on the edge of the bed until everything settled and then she got up getting her clothes and uniform. She just needed to wash up and she would be okay. She had to. She had work to do, she could do it. She had to show them she was still useful before they forgot.

Rand

Roman had thought she was still asleep and gone into the bathroom. When he came back out, ready for his own shift, he noticed what she was up to and pulled her into a hug. “One more day off duty, Rand.” He looked down at her, worry in his face. “Randy said you’re too dehydrated, your head didn’t get any better.” He smiled a little and squeezed her, “So drink lots of water for me today, okay?”

~ Roman

Rand couldn’t look up at him because he was hugging her. No work? They weren’t letting her go back? But she did everything they said! Why couldn’t she go back? But why?! How could she be useful if they kept her locked in this room? She did what they wanted! He asked ‘okay’ and she just nodded her head, not even aware of anything else he had said.

She went into the bathroom while he left. He didn’t even kiss her before he left (not that she realized she didn’t give him a chance) and he didn’t ask for help with his reports either. He didn’t need her at all. And he was in such a good mood…happy to get away from her.

When Randy came by, she was back in bed, asleep. He didn’t wake her. He set the food on the table and wrote her a note to dri k plenty of water and to eat. Pipkin was making a fuss and he went over, she was out of water and probably needed food too. He took care of both quietly and then left.

Rand

It was another busy day for Roman. His morning reports reminded him of the date: three days after the ship incident. The thought brought tears immediately to his eyes and he ducked his head so the others in the lab wouldn’t see. How had it sprung up on him like that? Normally he was hyper aware of when it was, especially after the 19th had already passed. He needed to work, to keep his mind occupied.

He didn’t have time, again, to make it back for lunch, instead having a quick snack since he’d left before Randy brought breakfast and he hadn’t gone to get anything himself. His realization that morning had caused his mood to crash. But by the afternoon when he was playing with Mushu, he seemed to have already rebounded, doing his best to ignore the thing at the back of his mind. He wouldn’t normally be able to do that. Today it was working and he wasn’t going to think about it. He was just going to hope it stayed that way.

At the end of the day he was off on time, because he wanted to get back to Rand. He headed into their quarters, quietly in case she was sleeping again, with food for both of them from the galley.

~ Roman

Rand knew what day it was. She wanted to go see Roman, wanted him to know she knew today was hard. Randy didn’t give her time to ask. He came with her lunch and only stayed long enough to fuss at her for not eating and to tell her to drink more water. Roman never came at lunch either - he didn’t need her today.

She tried to drink the water. She sipped at it a little every so often. She wasn’t drinking nearly enough. And all that liquid with nothing solid on her stomach just made the queasiness from her head and nerves made it worse. Plus the dehydration was also making her stomach cramping. It was a nasty little cycle.

Rand was sitting on the bed when he came in. She looked pale and like she was in pain. Her eyes were closed and she was so still she might have been asleep. Pipkin saw him and started scrabbling insistently at the cage. She wanted his attention and would start banging if she didn’t get it. It was unusual for Rand to leave her locked up all day.

Rand

Roman bent down and opened the door to let Pipkin out, and then sat down next to Rand and hugged her. He needed that hug as much as he thought she did, judging by how she looked. He sighed against her and squeezed her a little. “I love you.” He did not seem as happy as he had that morning or the day before but he did seem better than he usually did on his bad days.

She startled when he hugged her, like she hadn’t realized he was there. Maybe she had been asleep sitting up against the pillows like that. Then she hugged him a little too suddenly. She didn’t understand why he was hugging her, but it felt good, it felt safe. “Love you too,” she whispered before her voice cracked. She hugged him a little too tightly. Holding on to him like she would never get to hug him again.

She held on to him, tight. He didn’t mind. It seemed to help. For a moment he rested his head against her.

He looked down at her, as much as he could while still hugging her, his look that caring, loving, but sad and hurt look he often gave her on bad days. Like all he could think about was that he couldn’t bear to lose her too. “How was your day? Have you been drinking your water?” Then he seemed to notice the food she hadn’t eaten and he looked at her again, “Have you eaten today? Maybe we can get dinner together, like we used to…” Anything to keep his mind off things, and to cheer her up a little.

~ Roman

She wouldn’t look at him. Was it nerves, guilt, did she just feel that sick? She shrugged her shoulders about her day. She was stuck in that room alone all day. She wasn’tallowed to do anything. Not that it mattered, even if she could she wasn’t needed. She would just get in the way. When he asked about the water, “I…I tttried.”

Pipkin had made her way onto the bed and was hopping circles and spinning and pawing at Rand incessantly. Rand didn’t seem to notice, so the rabbit turned to Roman, climbing on his lap, front paws in his arm where he was hugging Rand and almost patting him trying to make him pay attention.

He reached down and pet the bunny with one hand, trying to placate her so she’d settle down. She was incessantly asking for attention. Roman could assume Rand hadn’t played with her at all today, which was unusual.

“What uair?” She was mixing her languages. Rand shrugged again when Roman asked if she had eaten. What time was it? Was it even time to eat? He asked did she want to go get dinner. That meant leaving the room. She wasn’t dressed at all, her appearance would just embarrass him. She would make the effort for him though. She nodded and then stopped. “Thuirt Randy nach eil cead agam an seòmar fhàgail, airson rud sam bith. (Randy said I’m not allowed to leave the room for anything.)”

Rand

Roman shrugged. Apparently he was back to his old ways of ignoring medical direction. “I’ll be with you. If anything happens we can call him.” He smiled a little bit down at her, “Or I can carry you.” He was still hugging her, leaned against her like he didn’t want to let her go. Finally, he did let her go and stood, smiling a little again. “Come on. You don’t have to eat a lot, just a little bit.”

~ Roman

She shook her head, no, no he couldn’t carry her. He didn’t need do that, he did enough. Her cheeks flushed like always but all she felt was shame instead of giddiness. Standing and looking down at her, Roman would notice something very odd. Rand was disheveled. She was wearing the same pajamas for the last three days and nights. She looked frumpy in the wrinkled dingy clothes. The only reason her hair wasn’t a complete knot was the bandage wrapped around her head and her hair had been braided before Randy had put the bandage on. And she was barefoot. It was a stark startling contrast to the very put together appearance she always showed everyone. She hadn’t even looked like this when she was in sickbay. Rand would never want anyone to see her like that. Just like her character personas, her appearance was like armor, to stop from drawing attention to herself. She stood to follow him out of the room like that, like she wasn’t even aware of her appearance. Maybe she was too excited to leave the room? Maybe having her clean up and change would help her feel better?

Rand

Roman had noticed before that she didn’t look as put together as usual but it was now that he noticed the extent of it. Those were the exact same pajamas she had been wearing since the day he’d overdone it with jiu jitsu. Her hair, what was visible of it, was a frizzy mess. She was barefoot. And she was moving to go out like she was going to leave like that. Roman didn’t really care how she looked when he was with her, but he knew she cared… Or at least, she usually did. He put his hands on her shoulder. “Miranda. Don’t you want to change first?” He smiled down at her, “I could brush your hair out for you again.”

~ Roman

Rand looked down at her clothes. “Oh…yeah, okay.” She she shouldn’t go out like that. She moved carefully, her stomach hurt, until she had gathered clothes and then disappeared into the bathroom. When she came out she looked a little better in a long slacks with a blouse the color green that Roman liked so much. She sat down on the edge of the bed for him.

Rand