Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side - sim: Paying for Our Sins

(snip)

Rand wasn’t sure what to do but she wanted to help. “Do you want to go back to sleep or we could watch a movie…” She just wanted him to feel better.

Rand

Roman settled in against her, resting his head on her, and shrugged at first but then turned to look at her, “Won’t a movie make your head worse?”

~ Roman

Rand blinked, oh…maybe. “Well it’s not right in front of me and I can close my eyes and just listen if it bothers me. That would be okay. Randy?” He looked over and nodded, “Yeah, as long as you are careful. You’ve been asleep most of the day, and rested. You could try.”

Rand

Setting aside the water bottle Randy had given him, he looked at Rand. “What about lines? We haven’t done any of your plays in months. And your head is getting better.” He knew how much she usually loved them. He also remembered she was having trouble remembering the plays and her performances. He was still sure getting her to read them would help her remember.

~ Roman

“L…l…l…lines?” No, she couldn’t do lines. No. She tried, alone, when no one knew. She couldn’t do it no matter how much she wanted to. She looked at her brother, the trepidation and sadness clear, even without hands that shook before she could hide them. “R…r…randy I…I…I can’t do that r..right? I’m not s…s..supposed to r…read or anything.”

Randy tipped his head looking at her. Like Roman he had been trying to get her to read, to practice, to remember her lines. It was such a part of her and it broke his heart that she refused to try. “You’ve slept all day and all night. You can do an hour or so. You are allowed a few hours a day.” He turned to Roman, “Just watch for signs she’s had too much. Slurring, not stuttering, dizziness even while sitting, trouble translating, saying things that don’t make sense, sudden headache. An hour or so should be fine.”

Of course Randy sided with Roman. They both wanted her to return to such a favored past time. She stared at her hands, she wanted to cry. She couldn’t remember! She tried! She did. More than anything else she wanted to remember those characters, their personas, their essence. They were cherished and priceless pieces of armor to protect the pitiful thing she was. Women who were confident, brave, intelligent, witty, persistent. Everything Miranda Farquharson was not.

She could see Roman out of the corner of her eye, watching her, the look deep in his eyes, trying not to remember what today was. Oh what a coward she was, to hide away for fear of not remembering when her beloved Roman couldn’t stop remembering, everyday, but especially today. She wanted desperately to be able to agree, to do this for him, but fear of disappointing him, of not remembering made the words stick in her throat.

Rand