Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in side - sim: Paying for Our Sins

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side - sim: Paying for Our Sins

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in side - sim: Paying for Our Sins
Posted by… suppressed (21) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Roman rubbed her back gently, knowing this was how she acted when her head made her nauseous. “Do you need anything?” He asked and then he nodded to what she said. She was trying to do the right thing, what was best for him. “It wasn’t fair to be angry. I put you on my medical forms because I knew you would do your best to balance what’s best with what I’d want… And knowing those two things would often conflict with each other.” He sighed. At least this was something else to focus on but all he wanted was to work his troubles away. It helped that he hadn’t had the intense and troubling nightmares he normally would have, but today was still a miserable day and he still just wanted away from it.

~ Roman

His hand rubbed along the length of her spine and she tried to focus on that and breathe, rather than her protesting stomach. “I’m sorry I was upset. I don’t want to fight.” They weren’t fighting…well maybe, they had been a little. She didn’t like being angry at each other, even though it was over quickly. Conflict made her more nervous and anxious. She sighed. She could feel his breath moving through his lungs under her hand. He seemed relaxed and still a little sleepy so she kissed him.

“I don’t either,” Roman said, sighing softly. Conflict didn’t make him nervous, it was just often unproductive and exhausting. His hand on her back worked its way under her shirt and rubbed her bare back, slowly and gently. His hand felt cold at first, but quickly warmed against her skin, the roughness of the scars at the lower edge of his palm apparent against her skin.

His hand was cold which made her squirm a little, but then she sighed. She could feel the scars on his palms and the reminder made her other hand curl into his hair. She came so close to losing him, she didn’t want to fight, not about taking care of each other. Just like that the worry and tension and hurt feelings were gone.

He loved when she rested her hands against his body, especially when it was under his shirt or he wasn’t wearing a shirt. It was warm and a little bit weighty and just a gentle reminder she was there. Any time her hand or fingers moved even a little against him, it sent ticklish but pleasant shivers through him. Especially near his scars, though the center most part of the deep burns had lost some feeling due to nerve damage. Then she kissed him and his other arm joined the first, moving around her, his hand pressed against her back, pulling her closer as he kissed her back. It was a welcome reprieve into momentary mushy bliss. He gave her a pouty, sad look when the kiss ended.

Roman could feel Rand relax more as he slipped his other arm around her. She loved the feel of his arms around her - strong and secure. She liked how his hands sent warm ripples up and down her back. The way his hugs made her feel calm and centered no matter what else was going on. Her hand moved slowly up to rest over his heart a moment and then moved around his waist and she hugged him tight. The kiss ended and she looked up at him…Roman pouting was irresistible and made her heart melt. She kissed him again, lingering longer.

She kissed him again, another blissful reprieve from the burden of conscious thought. Roman kept her close, his hands still against her back. This time the kiss lingered longer, and Roman hoped it wouldn’t end. When it did he tucked his head into her.

She was aware of what today was, but she didn’t want to remind him or talk about something he would want to avoid. It took her a moment to figure out what to say or do, and then she realized that Roman had asked her a question. He had asked if she needed anything. If Randy was there she might ask for something for her stomach. It wasn’t horrible, but her stomach constantly being upset was exhausting. “Crackers or ginger tea, but I don’t want you to move.”

Roman looked down at her, “I’m okay. I could make you tea… I don’t want you to feel sick all day,” his voice was soft and caring, but it was also something for him to do. He didn’t get up though, he was too comfortable there next to her, her hand still against him and his both still on her back.

Rand had her head resting on his shoulder. “Okay, not yet though.” She wanted him to stay just a little longer. It was selfish, but the fear and ache from waking and not knowing where she was, was finally leaving her and she wanted him to hold her just a bit longer. That also meant maybe he would stay relaxed and not think of other things if he was with her instead.

About that time there was a soft knock at the door, and Randy entered carrying a tray of food and a bunch of paperwork.

Rand

Roman was about to go to kiss her again when there was a knock on the door. He made no effort to move though, staying cuddled close with her as Randy entered. Randy was clearly trying to keep him here, that was a lot of paperwork. And then a tray of food. Maybe he could get away with not eating… The idea of eating still made him feel ill.

~ Roman

Randy glanced at them and hid a smile. “Awwww not snogging again. Come on.” Rand didn’t lift her head, hoping Roman would kiss her anyway, “Then go away Randy.” Randy chuckled, “Would love to do that, but lots to do. How are you both feeling today?” Rand didn’t want to say, afraid of what Randy might do. “My stomach is upset.” She wished she could hide the slight slurring.

Roman did it, just to mess with Randy. His arms still around Rand, on her back, he pulled her close and kissed her again, a long, lingering one. “She woke up confused. She… she said she didn’t know where she was.” Randy needed to know. Telling him was for her benefit. But there was a selfish motive, too. If Randy was worried about her he could get away with not answering that question.

Rand smiled as he kissed her again and hoped Randy would just leave. Rand took a turn pouting when it ended just to make Roman smile. Then Roman was telling on her. Why? She looked at him, her eyes pleading with him to stop. Then she felt the subtle roughness on his palms and she laid her head back against him. He was trying to take care of her, so she would choose to feel loved rather than stressed over what Randy might do.

Roman ran his hand down the sides of her back, from upper to lower, leaving them near her waist. He caught her pleading look and gave her an apologetic shrug. Then she lay her head back against him and he sighed a content sigh and hugged her again.

Randy raised a brow, “Rand?” She sighed and nodded. Randy walked over and retrieved his tricorder.

The food was bland. Toast with a choice of jams and peanut butter. So something to help settle upset stomachs. Randy had a feeling they would both need it. “Alright let’s see you both get up and how you do. Then breakfast, and reports for Roman and me.”

Rand

They did both need it. Roman was trying to avoid admitting it though. He squeezed Rand briefly, not wanting to get up or for her to get up and leave him there. But then he rolled over, letting her go first.

~ Roman

Randy ran the scanner over her, “How are you feeling now?” Rand slowly pushed herself up to sit. She was used to doing everything slowly now. “My stomach is upset, but I remembered everything after a minute. It was just…” Apparently she didn’t move slowly enough. The room tipped and swirled on its axis and Rand reached out to grab Roman. Randy saw her BP drop suddenly as she sat up, “Rand!” He couldn’t reach her, but hurried around the other side of the bed.

Roman reached out a hand for her to grab and help steady her. “Rand, be careful.” He let her hold on until she was ready to let go.

She gripped his hand tightly, and Randy helped prop pillows behind her. “Sorry. I I’m trying.” She didn’t mean to move too fast. She held onto Roman until she was settled back against the pillows and the room stopped spinning. “Rand?” Her brother looked at her, tipping her chin up, “Did you hit your head yesterday?” Rand’s brows drew together as she thought. “I… don’t think so. I…lost my balance once, but I don’t remember hitting my head. Why?”

“Your symptoms are just worse than I expected.”

Roman let her grip his hand as long as she needed. When she was settled back against the pillows, he cuddled up against her. At Randy’s words, “Is she okay?”

Randy nodded to reassure Rand, but he shared a concerned look with Roman. He expected Rand to be dizzy standing and walking, not just sitting in bed. Her speech was slurred even after a good sleep. She would be okay but he was worried. He just wanted to put his sister in a bubble and keep her safe.

“You sit there for a few minutes.” Randy turned his attention back to Roman. “Alright, your turn.” He motioned for him to go ahead and get up at his place.

Randy

Determined to show he was fine and could work, Roman sat up regularly. His chest was a little tight still, the movement of sitting up too quickly made it hurt a little bit, an aching pain that lasted a minute or two and then went away. Easy to hide. Unless the tricorder picked it up. “I’m fine. I feel okay today.”

~ Roman

Randy looked up from the tricorder and shook his head. “Uh huh…I have this,” he tapped the tricorder, “but I don’t need it. You don’t even sound convincing. Your readings aren’t great either. Better, but not great. When you’re ready we’ll try to stand up.” While Roman rested, Randy asked Rand all those annoying questions she hated. Name, date, what she remembered. Her memory was fine it seemed just the physical symptoms.

Rand

Roman gave the tricorder a glare like it was evil. He listened while Randy asked Rand questions, assessing her head. The date. The 19th of September… He heard it when she answered. That date… The images of his old lab flashed through his head, followed by the carnage in the aftermath of the attack. He needed to focus on something else.

Rand tried to hold onto his hand as he got up, but he was determined and moved quickly causing her hand to slip from his. Randy turned, not needing a tricorder scan to know Roman’s heart wasn’t going to like him moving that fast. “Hey slow down.”

He stood from the bed without thinking, he was going to pace, he always paced when those sorts of thoughts and images wouldn’t leave his head. The movement helped. But he stood too quickly, his heart rate going up, his blood pressure dropping. He was so lightheaded all he could hear was ringing in his ears, all he saw was fuzz. His blood pressure dropped low enough quickly enough to cause a momentary blackout. He was out a second, less even, but it was long enough to find himself on the floor.

~ Roman

Randy cursed and managed to catch him enough to stop him hitting his head. Rand started to move and he held out a very stern hand, “Stay put, I don’t need you both on the floor. I’ve got him.” Rand settled back, forced by the dizziness, but watched while she twisted the blanket in her hands. It was hard to wait for Randy to check Roman to make sure he was alright. Scans told him it was Roman’s heart rate and BP. He stayed kneeling next to him, concern etched heavily into his features. “You are not alright, so don’t tell me you are. How does your chest feel?”

Rand

Roman didn’t hear him tell Rand to stay put. It took a moment for the ringing to stop and his vision to clear. He blinked and looked around, then up at Randy. “Hurts.” Then he shook his head, tears making it down his face. He blinked hard to make them stop. “It’s fine. I’m fine.” He took a breath, trying to keep it steady, “Should’ve let me hit my head. The confusion would have been nice.” He hadn’t meant to fall and hurt himself, he honestly thought he’d be fine, but a few hours not remembering what day it was our why it was important sounded really good.

~ Roman

Rand’s heart ached. She knew what he was remembering and it had to be bad for Roman to say he would rather be confused. Randy stared at him a long moment weighing the options and Roman’s needs. He looked at him quite seriously and with compassion and care. “I can make that happen. If you want. It would be a good idea.”

Randy

Roman had been joking. Wishfully thinking, maybe. When Randy seriously offered it, he was surprised. It was part of the reason he avoided alcohol, the oblivion it offered was potentially addictive, but Randy could do it safely. For Roman to even consider it was a sign of great trust in Randy and Rand as well. He was still supine on the floor, one leg partly drawn up, Randy kneeled by his upper body. His chest hurt again, standing so quickly and then blacking out had not been good for him.

He knew himself too well, he was never going to be able to rest. Even now he just wanted to work, to move. He wished it could just stay like this morning, cuddling Rand with nothing on his mind but lovey mush brought on by kissing. But it wouldn’t be like that. Locked in his room it would only get worse, even working it got worse as the day went on. The flashbacks would get more and more vivid and intrusive, and no, they wouldn’t stop as soon as this awful day was over but they’d lessen. He nodded, a short and nervous little nod. “Okay.”

~ Roman

Luckily Roman couldn’t see Rand’s face because she looked at him like he might turn into a zombie and eat Randy’s brains. Did he just agree to take medication? Yes he did. She wanted to hug him, but Randy told her to stay put.

Randy nodded “Alright. First, let’s get you up. Then I’ll get you something.” Just like the night before, Randy got his arms under Roman and lifted till he was standing, then helped him to sit on the bed. “Alright, Rand. Do you think you want to try and get up?”

Roman felt really lightheaded and dizzy as Randy lifted but this time Randy was right there for him to lean on. Then he was sitting on the bed, waiting till he felt better. His chest was aching, so he leaned back against the pillows on the bed.

Rand did. She needed the bathroom. She waited for Randy because she didn’t want to stress Roman out more than he was. She squeezed Roman’s hand before she got up. She knew right away it was a bad idea. She was paying for her behavior yesterday. The room spun as she stood and she felt the stomach dropping out and heard the rushing in her ears as her BP went wonky and then her head throbbed making her dizzy. Randy walked her all the way to the bathroom where she promptly told him to go away.

Roman squeezed her hand back. He felt bad about this, Rand was struggling too and if he went through with it he wasn’t going to be able to be in charge of her care. Not that he was fit to be right now anyway. He hastily wiped his face, once again trying to stop tears. He didn’t want Rand to go away. Hopefully she’d be fast in there.

Randy went over to his med kit and scanned the contents before walking over and sitting with Roman. “Alright I’ve made you a little mix that will help. Do you want to know what’s in it or just let me give it to you? I will need you to eat at least 1 slice of toast after.”

Rand

Roman shook his head, he just wanted to get it over with before his fear made him change his mind. He wasn’t looking at Randy, he wasn’t really looking at anything besides the floor. “Okay.” His voice came out as a harsh, unsteady whisper, and then he took a shaky breath and closed his eyes as they prickled with fresh tears.

~ Roman

Randy quickly gave him the injection from the hypo. He patted Roman’s shoulder in a brotherly fashion and then got up. He was listening out for Rand. He didn’t want to rush her. He grabbed one of the plates and brought it over to Roman. Toast and milk. “You need to get this down.” Then he grabbed his PaDD. “I have a few things I need your approval on.” What was Randy doing? Keeping Roman occupied. There were supply and personnel requests, incident reports, and items from command. Just enough to take his mind off till he started to relax.

Randy

There was a difference after a few short minutes in Roman’s appetite, the meds settling his stomach. He finished the slice of toast and then downed the milk. Then he looked at the PaDD. They were mostly requests he’d expected, so it was quick and easy to sign off on. The incident reports took longer, and he’d have to read over the command ones and make sure he didn’t miss anything.

~ Roman

Randy was relieved to see Roman eat. In the middle of the reports he asked casually, “Want anything else?” He took things as Roman finished them and put them to the side to file.

Roman shook his head but if Randy offered something he’d probably eat it. Soon Roman was finished with that stack of reports but by then he was starting to relax, the meds taking their full effect. His heart rate was slowing, his breathing started to slow, and he was starting to feel tired and relaxed.

In between setting reports next to Riman, Randy set another slice of toast and decaf black tea. Randy could tell Roman was relaxing and getting tired. Hopefully he would eat that before sleep took him.

There was a sudden clatter as things fell from the bathroom. And a sudden call of “Roman” then “No…Randy.” Randy got up and hurried to the bathroom not even bothering to knock. Rand was half leaned half crouched against the wall. She had gotten dizzy and gotten sick. She was attempting to use her foot to push a towel around to clean up. She grabbed the counter to keep from falling and kocked some things over. Randy sat her down and then went rummaging shamelessly through their clothes and found her something clean and brought it back.

The clatter made Roman wake up a little and he started to get up to help Rand but Randy was faster. Instead he leaned back in bed and waited.

There was much sass and lecturing coming from Randy. Roman could also hear the stress and worry. Randy appeared and retrieved the hypo and changed it out before disappearing again. “Miranda Scarlett don’t you tell me no.”

“Randy I will go back to bed I don’t want those.”

“You need them. I can’t give you anything to make you sleep. I would if I could. Now, sigh Miranda…HA! Got it.” Then the sound of various things being placed back on the counter and the water running.

They appeared another minute later, Rand trying to steady herself against the wall and Randy trying to keep her next to him. “If you don’t stop trying to walk on your own, I will carry you.” Rand looked over at Roman pleading but at the same time knowing she wasn’t going to win. “I’m not. The wall is sturdy and you’re scrawny.” She was teasing Randy trying to reassure them both…it wasn’t working on Randy.

Rand

Roman shook his head at her. “If I could, I’d carry you.” He told her, then he made sure there was plenty of space on the bed for her and looked back to her. Her attempt to tease Randy didn’t seem to affect Roman either. “He’s stronger than he looks… You haven’t been punched repeatedly by him lately.” It was a joke about jiu jitsu practice. Roman looked relaxed. Sad and maybe a little lost still, but relaxed and sleepy. The meds couldn’t make him forget, but they might make it so he could sleep through more of it.

~ Roman

Rand smiled, color coming back to her cheeks. She wouldn’t admit it, but she wished Roman could carry her right now. That would just make Randy’s day. Roman looked a little better to her, relaxed and not stubborn. Randy squeezed her around the waist when Roman made a joke about their jiu jitsu sessions. It was something, and it didn’t make him upset. Randy grinned at Rand. “See, I might be scrawny looking but you shouldn’t test me, sister-mine.”

Rand rolled her eyes, and wished she hadn’t as it took a moment to focus. Then she smiled at Roman as she finally was able to sit on the bed. “You just had to agree with him. We’ll never hear the end of it.”

Roman shrugged. When she sat on the bed he reached for her, trying to pull her toward him.

Randy fussed with her pillows, “You weren’t going to hear the end of it anyway.” He got her to lay back and then brought her toast as well. “Roman, get her to eat that.”

Rand

It took Rand a few moments to get settled between Roman pulling her closer and Randy fussing with her pillows. She tried to be patient, but she was being jostled and she felt like her stomach might rebel for all the movement. Finally they stopped and she leaned up against Roman and let out a small sight.

Roman cuddled in next to her, and then when Randy told him to get her to eat the toast he pointed at it, “It’s light. Won’t make your stomach upset.” Then he looked at Randy, “Is there another slice?”

~ Roman

Rand shook her head. “Not yet.” Before Roman or Randy could argue with her. “Medicine first?” It was a question and a plea. Just let her stomach settle first.

Finished fussing over his sister, Randy was at the counter making some ginger tea for her. “Another? Try a stack. Gorshin sent a whole loaf. The man doesn’t know how not to go over board.” Randy put a couple more slices on a napkin and brought them over. He’d given Rand anti-nausea meds and an anti-inflammatory for her headache. Nothing that would put her to sleep, but she looked tired. She’d overworked, but he was worried, why were her symptoms so much worse. He was going to try and retrace her steps later and see exactly what she had been doing.

After a minute Rand started nibbling at the toast. It was still warm and tasted good. She knew she needed to eat, but what about Roman? She looked up at him, “Want half?”

Rand

Roman picked up a slice from the napkin Randy brought over. “I have one. You eat that one.” Then he started munching down on his slice. With his stomach settled and relaxed he was hungry, he hadn’t eaten well in over a week. But he was also getting tired, so he slowed down halfway through the second slice. He leaned over onto Rand and set his head on her.

~ Roman

He was eating and relaxed and being cute. Rand glanced over at Randy wondering what miracle her brother had performed. She kept eating her toast just incase Roman decided to take a page out of her play book and refuse to eat if she didn’t. It was difficult at first but as the medicine got in her system and the toast into her stomach it was easier. She even ate a second and third piece with apple butter on it. Randy gave her a glass of water and set several bottles beside the bed. “Water, lots of it. It will help your head.” Then he gave her the ginger tea and Rand thought it was wonderful.

Randy walked over, “Roman, do you..umm…need to get up before I go?” Rand was in no state to help him, and with how quickly his BP was dropping and now with the meds, he didn’t want Roman trying to get up alone.

Rand

Roman sighed and then nodded, “I better before you leave.” He felt tired and his body felt heavy, and given how standing before had made him black out, he didn’t want Rand to hurt herself trying to help him. It was another example of Roman being weirdly not stubborn. He sat up, a little bit slowly, and then waited for Randy to help him up.

Standing made him really lightheaded, like it had before, and having the meds on board didn’t help his ability to balance himself. He leaned on Randy the whole way to the bathroom. In the bathroom, Roman took the time both to do business and brush his teeth and freshen up. There was a chair in the bathroom he sat on, not wanting to copy Rand’s mistake from earlier. When he was finished, he stood, one hand on the edge of the sink area, and moved to the door, letting it open.

~ Roman

Rand hadn’t meant to knock things over, but when she’d stood up she’d just gotten really sick. It had become more important to not fall down and to be still so she didn’t get sick again than anything else. While Roman got up Rand finished her tea. Then very carefully she leaned over to place the cup on the side table. She was half on her side by then and didn’t feel like getting up again so she snuggled down into the pillow and closed her eyes.

Roman being cooperative was weird to both her and Randy. Randy, though scrawny by Rand’s standards, was able to support Roman. He didn’t really have to hold him up, just keep him steady. When the door opened again, Randy helped Roman back to the bed. He left tea and water and crackers for them. Their PaDDs nearby just in case and their communicators. “Please page me if you need something. I’ll be back around lunch. Pipkin has food and water and toys. I left her in her cage so if you do get up, and please don’t, she’s not underfoot.” He turned the lights off as he left.

Roman had neither the energy nor the fear driving his actions to be overly disobedient and combative like he normally was. Back on the bed, he pulled the blankets over himself and then cuddled tightly into Rand, resting his head against her again.

Rand huffed, “He’s impossible.” She sounded as tired as Roman felt.

Rand

Roman gave a little smile and then a big yawn. “He’s yawn trying to help.” Randy had given him both something to relax him and something that made him drowsy. With his poor quality sleep recently it was impressive he’d been awake this long. He sighed and looked up at her, a silent, loving look like he couldn’t imagine being without her. Against her it would be obvious how relaxed he was. There was little tension in his muscles. His eyelids drooped tiredly. It was clear letting Randy give him something was very beneficial to him.

~ Roman