Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side - sim: Paying for Our Sins

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in side - sim: Paying for Our Sins

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side - sim: Paying for Our Sins
Posted by… suppressed (38) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Roman remembered seeing her set her PaDD down when she’d arrived at his office earlier. She didn’t have it with her when they got to their quarters, so it must still be there. He set Pipkin aside carefully, and then sat back up, carefully so he didn’t disturb Rand too much, and started to swing his legs over the edge of the bed. “My office. She left it there.” His body must not have liked being allowed to rest only to then be made to work again because sitting up made him dizzy again and his chest hurt more, he wanted to put his hand against it again but he didn’t, he didn’t want to make it look like it hurt. She needed it, he needed to get it for her. “I can get it.”

~ Roman

Pipkin was mad and thumped her back legs against the floor loud enough for everyone to hear. Which was impressive because as soon as Roman sat up it made Randy’s tricorder alarm, and Rand heard Pipkin’s protest over it. She sighed and sat up. She’d go get it. It was hers. She didn’t have to wait for the dizziness to pass. She’d been living with it long enough she knew how to get up without making herself dizzy. Randy put a hand on each of their shoulders and pushed them back down. Roman ended up reclined against the pillows, and Rand ended up being pushed half draped over him, her weight on him, hugging him. Randy laughed. “Good now stay there. Should make you both happy. Also,” he paused and waved a hand over both of them, “let’s you work out whatever all this weirdness going on with you two is. Be right back.” He grabbed the tray and left.

Rand

Roman grunted when Rand landed on him. It didn’t really hurt but with his chest aching because of his heart and still feeling short of breath, Rand’s weight felt heavy. He looked down at her. “Randy says there’s weirdness.”

~ Roman

Rand was not happy with the way Randy pushed her down, or the grunt that thrummed through her ear where it rested over Roman’s chest. She also didn’t like the sound of his heart beat. She didn’t move right away because she was trying to figure out how to get up without that initial push off of him that would be painful. In the end it was an awkward half roll and then trying to push herself up and giving up and just laying on her side next to him.

Of course Randy said there was weirdness. Of course he would notice, and of course he had to interfere. She rested her hand on his chest. She didn’t want to talk about it. And his heart didn’t sound good and the beeping of the tricorder was not as steady as it should be. Would he listen if she shushed him again? She could try. “Shhh....b b breathe.”

Rand

Her awkward half roll succeeded in not being painful. He put an arm around her as she settled next to him. Then she shushed him again. Talking was good for a lot of reasons. Clearing the weirdness was one of them. Not having to hear the unsteady, slightly irregular beeping of the tricorder was another. “Miranda… Really, what is this about?”

~ Roman

Of course he wouldn’t shush. She didn’t think he would believe she was asleep either. Not that quickly and Randy would tell on her. What was it about? What part? The weirdness? Her bad behavior? What? She sighed. She shrugged or maybe just tried to get more settled. Roman was having trouble talking and catching his breath. She was having trouble translating and then not stuttering. Besides the only weirdness was from him. Her breath was too heavy and her hands twisted in her robe. “D d d don’t kn n now. U u You avoidddded me.”

Rand

Roman gave her a confused look. “Avoided you?” He took a moment to think about that. He hadn’t been in the lab… She must have gone looking for him. And then he hadn’t come home and… Yeah, he could see how she thought that. His expression softened and he shook his head. He was back to trying to find shorter ways to phrase things. “I wasn’t avoiding you.”

~ Roman

She wasn’t sure she believed that. Roman threw himself in to his work to avoid things that bothered him. Things he didn’t want to deal with. She did it too. Maybe he didn’t know that’s what he was doing? Maybe he did but justified it by saying he was avoiding the medical stuff? But in the end he was angry and avoided her all day. “Okay…” She turned her face into him, hiding, avoiding the conversation. So she wouldn’t have to talk about it.

Rand

Roman looked down at her and then tightened his arm around her. “I wasn’t.” He insisted. “I was avoiding…” He paused, not only to breathe but also because he really, really did not want to talk about this. He didn’t even want to think about it. “Something else.”

~ Roman

Rand nodded into his shoulder. Maybe this time if she gave a non-verbal response, he would believe she accepted what he said. He would stop talking about it. How he was angry with her for doing to him the same thing he did to her. How he wouldn’t forgive her. That Randy would return with her meds and she would have to take them because he wanted her to even though she hated them. That Roman had a double standard that she couldn’t quite remember how it worked anymore.

They could stop talking about how inadequate she was and the mistakes she made. How she needed…she had to stop the train of thought before she made herself really upset. Breathe, she had to breathe and not think. Couldn’t they just stop talking about why he was avoiding her, why she ignored doc’s orders, why…? Just stop talking?

Rand

Roman had been able to avoid it all day. He’d buried himself in ‘safe’ work, he’d exercised until he couldn’t think anymore, kept going so he wouldn’t have time to stop. And then this had happened. He’d had to bring it up, for Rand, because she thought he was avoiding her.

Now all the emotion and grief he’d been hiding from hit him like a truck and once again hot tears were rolling down the sides of his face. Randy’s tricorder didn’t like it. Crying made him take shorter, shuddery breaths, that in his current state weren’t adequate, and that made his heart rate go up a little. Unsure what else to do he cried quietly, tucking his head into her.

~ Roman

Rand didn’t understand what was going on. Why was he crying? Was he that angry at her? She’d never seen Roman truly be angry or be react like this. Roman was holding - clinging onto her, hiding his face against her. She ran her fingers through the hair on his neck and hugged him tightly. She wanted to say something to make it better, but didn’t know what. She should apologize, but she wouldn’t mean it. She was sorry it hurt him so badly, but she would do it again. She would give him the hypo again. He had needed the sleep, the relief. He still did.

The tricorder was going crazy and his breathing was erratic. Where was Randy? She didn’t know what to do. Did he need his hypo? Where was it? Could she reach it? Would she really give it to him? She didn’t think she could. Why couldn’t she say anything? What would matter? Would he believe her? “Tha gaol agam ort.” She whispered, her own voice stunted and choppy.

Rand

If Roman were that angry at her, he wouldn’t be crying. He’d be giving her the same level, icy stare he gave officers, he’d be straightforward with what he was angry about and why. He clung tighter to her with her words. “I… I…” He took a longer, shaky breath, trying to get his words out. “was angry… f-for the hypo…” He had to pause again and then went on, “c-‘cause I didn’t… say yes.” Oh how was a shorter way to say this? It felt like he was giving an hour long speech with no breathing or water breaks. “But I’m not… not anymore.”

She knew he hadn’t said yes, he hadn’t said no either. Rand wasn’t playing semantics, she was weighing all the pieces. He had said he didn’t know, he couldn’t decide. She had told him if he had a nightmare she would give it to him. He hadn’t objected, in fact he had given her this hopeful look that it would help, he could avoid the nightmares, he was just afraid to admit or ask for it. Or…at least that’s what she thought the look had meant. She thought she knew him well enough to interpret. But I stead she had misunderstood, like she always did. This was why she avoided socializing of any kind. The rules and protocol were too vague and changed on her.

He took a break to cry a little more. By now he felt lightheaded and he was ignoring his chest pain. “I wasn’t… avoiding you… I was… avoiding…” His words were punctuated by sobs that hurt to cry but that he couldn’t control. He needed another longer break before he could pull himself together enough to finish his thought, he didn’t have to say it, Rand would know the importance of the date.

“Tomorrow… it’s the 19th…” The 19th of September. Four years since that event. It explained his avoidance of the lab, his need to bury himself in doing something that had driven him to put his heart at risk. Explained why he would continue to be driven to overwork himself, like he had the year before. On the day of and sometimes the days around the day of he avoided the lab as much as he could and then following those days he worked, nearly nonstop. It also explained why his nightmare last night was the worst one she’d seen. Roman continued to cry against her, trying to pull in full breaths that usually were cut short by the crying.

~ Roman

She knew. She wished she had known weeks ago it was coming, but things in her head were so scrambled, sometimes they still were. She did know now, and had for a few days. She knew it was why he was having trouble sleeping even though Roman was hiding it from her. Did he know what tonight was? Probably not, she’d never told him, so how would he know. And to tell him now maybe wouldn’t be best. His grief needed its space. “I…I....I know.” She put one hand along his jaw and made him look up at her. He was tucked and curled and it made it hard to breathe, she knew. She wiped his face with her fingertips. She kissed him, just a quick peck and then wiggled and squirmed to get up, to sit. She made him lay back against/next to her. She put one hand on his chest and the other found and started squeezing his hand. She didn’t ask him to breathe, she just sat with him, hearing the tricorder lose its mind,and wishing Randy would hurry up.

Rand

Roman looked up at her and smiled just a little bit as she wiped his face gently, Then she kissed him and he tried to curl further into her. Instead she wriggled away and he sat up a little bit to let her move. “I’m sorry… I made you think… I was angry.” The tricorder’s noisy beeping made it worse, reminded him too much of sickbay. But his chest ached, he felt lightheaded and dizzy and he still wasn’t able to breathe full breaths. Then she pulled him back so he was laying back against her, one hand in hers and the other he lifted and put over her hand on his chest. He tried to match his breathing to the rhythm she squeezed his hand with, but he still wasn’t able to.

~ Roman

Rand shook her head. He was or had been angry. “Shhh.” The tricorder’s noise was stressing her out and making it harder to think, bringing back her own memories. She hugged him tighter, resting her head on top of his. She sighed, “S…s…ssssorry.” For everything. She tried to ignore the tricorder, she would talk to him but she had a feeling understanding the Gaelic would be hard and she kept stuttering her English.

Angry, yes, a little, but not enough to want to avoid her. Not enough to want to make her so anxious she worked herself back into only speaking Gaelic. He leaned into her. “It’s okay.”

Randy arrived another couple minutes later and felt like he walked into chaos. “What?” He grabbed the tricorder and looked at it and swore and disappeared out the door and then back just as quickly with his med kit. He laid it open on the table and started going through the contents. He walked over and took another scan then turned the alarm off and the room was suddenly quieter. He laid a hand on Roman’s shoulder, “You’ve got to lay back further.” He took Rand’s hand and helped her move over a little more and add a couple pillows behind Roman. “Your heart is working too hard. You have a choice. A booster dose of your cardiac meds or a tranquillizer.”

Rand

When Randy entered Roman burrowed his face into Rand’s side, wetting her shirt with his tears. He was being embarrassed about the crying. He didn’t see Randy had grabbed a med kit, lucky because he was not going to like it. He finally looked up at Randy when he heard his footsteps coming over. It was a lot quieter with the alarm turned off. “I’m alright,” he protested but he and Rand were already adjusting around him, and he ended up leaned back. At the choice of meds he shook his head and then looked up at Rand, a silent What do I do? or maybe Help. He didn’t want meds, he didn’t want anything to do with sickbay. That was why he couldn’t say yes to the nightmare meds.

~ Roman

Rand didn’t know what to tell him. She looked at Randy who couldn’t tell her what to decide, but a small shake of his head told her, Roman had to have it or he’d end up in sickbay.. The tricorder was silenced but Randy was watching it with growing concern and his eye brows making a deep worried V on his forehead. Rand squeezed Roman’s hand hard. “D…d…don…” she moaned in frustration. “Ròmanach, na bi mar mise agus thig air ais san ospadal. Gabh an stuth-leigheis.”

Rand

Roman looked down in surprise when Rand squeezed his hand, hard enough to hurt, and then up at her. It took him a moment to focus well enough to translate the Gaelic and then his expression changed and he hugged her tight, “I can’t go back, I can’t.”

~ Roman

Rand nodded. She understood, she really did. She gave Randy a nod as she pulled the sleeve of Roman’s t-shirt up. “An uairsin tha Randy a’ dol a thoirt dhut na cungaidhean agad. (Then Randy is going to give you your meds.)” She didn’t know which one Randy would give him, she only knew Roman needed something. She squeezed his hand and tried to be calm and not appear as confused and upset as she really was.

There was a slight nod from him against her and he squeezed her hand harder. He did not specify which he was agreeing to.

Randy wanted to give Roman the tranquilizer. That would calm everything down, might even make him sleep. He’d be medically justified in giving it, but the cardiac booster might be enough. Then he could always give the tranquilizer if that didn’t work. Randy didn’t need to be there for Roman and Rand’s conversation to know that the anniversary of the attack on the Ardent was tomorrow or Jay’s death in a few days. These were things that, as Roman’s counselor, he was aware of. The man hadn’t been sleeping or eating well and it had put way too much strain on his heart. So tranquillizer it was. Roman could deal with it later. Better that than going back into sickbay. He pressed the hypo to Roman’s arm and then went and sat down at the table to wait. Rand wouldn’t be able to stay with him alone. He could tell she was fighting the dizziness and lightheadedness that over exertion had caused. And if she was even slightly confused he couldn’t let her be in charge of his care. He waited for the medicine to kick in and let Roman’s heart rest. He shouldn’t have been exercising like that, and Randy should have seen it, seen it was too much. He shook his head, this was a huge mess.

Rand

It took several minutes for the meds to start working. Roman had to stay reclined far enough back but he was hugging Rand tightly, leaning into her side. It was obvious when the effects started to work on him, the tension started to leave his muscles, his body relaxing and his breaths slowing down some. He was still hugging Rand but his grip relaxed and he leaned back against the pillows they’d put behind him. His heart rate started to slow, still beating a little irregularly but not working so hard now.

~ Roman

Rand let out a little sigh when she felt Roman relax. She looked over at Randy who was watching while appearing not to watch. In a few more minutes he would take some more readings with the tricorder. He gave her a little nod. Roman was doing better, so it seemed.

It was obvious which medicine Randy had chosen to give him, but in his relaxed state it didn’t matter so much, those actions were driven by fear which currently felt muted and distant. The meds however could only relax him, they couldn’t make him happier. He let out a shaky, cry-y sigh and settled in against Rand.

Rand changed the pattern of her breaths. Matching them to Roman’s quicker rhythm. They after a few minutes she began to slow the rhythm back down again. Trying to guide him to something more relaxed, and at a gentle pace than trying to force it all at once. If she had been thinking clearly she would have tried that earlier. She was tired, she’d over done it, but there was no way she would be able to sleep that night.

Rand

The squeezing of his hand changed rhythm and was suddenly easier to match, slowing his breathing to match the pace Rand set. He was starting to feel sleepy, but he did not want to sleep. He didn’t want the nightmares. They would be bad, they always were this night.

~ Roman

Rand kept breathing with him. She knew he needed sleep. His heart needed rest and she could tell Randy had given him the tranquilizer. The drop in stress and blood pressure was going to make him fall asleep soon. She hugged him tightly and sighed, but it was a content sound. She turned and settled down next to him so that her voice would be near his ear. She had to speak very slowly and really concentrate. Being close helped knowing Randy couldn’t hear. “D did you knnnow that today is im impor…portant for a d d different reason?”

Roman turned to look at her. “Hmmm?” He yawned and stretched a little, keeping hold of her hand. Then he blinked hard a few times. He didn’t want to fall asleep. It was getting harder not to.

“I ssssat here on your bbbed with you, and I wwwas really nervous and ssscared, but I held your hand.” Rand let go of his hand and slipped it under his, lacing their fingers together. She kissed his cheek. “The the then ssomething ter terrifying happened.” Rand paused, breathing slowly, nervous and very shy. “I hugged you. I had never....never hugged anyone but ffffamily before.” Rand had always been too shy and nervous to do anything like that before.

Rand

Roman smiled a little and rubbed his thumb across her hand. He looked at her, waiting when she paused for her to continue and then turned just a little bit and hugged her. “I needed that hug.” Then he smiled a little bit again, “It was foreshadowing.”

~ Roman

Rand smiled, “Every gggood story needs fore fore foreshadowing so people will ggguess and keep reading.” Rand laid her head down on his shoulder. “Ifff I had known I wwwould be here…” Rand paused, swallowed,and tried to make the stutter go away. She knew she could do it. She hadn’t stuttered in years. She hugged him tighter. “Be here, like th th this, I would have…have fainted.”

Roman hugged her and leaned his head against hers. “I don’t know where I’d be without you.” He let out a long sigh. If he weren’t trying to fight the sleepiness he would have already fallen asleep.

Rand snuggled in closer and shook her head. He didn’t have to think about that. She promised, even if she was upset, she’d still be there for him, even if he didn’t want her anymore.

Rand’s confession had made her nervous, and her respiration had increased slightly and she took a moment to slow back down. “I will stay awake till you fall asleep, just like then. I will wake you up if you dream.” Then quietly, embarrassing herself, “orrr you c c could dream about me.”

Rand

Roman shook his head. His voice was soft, tired. “You can’t stay awake. Your head.” He’d felt guilty about keeping her awake back then ever since Randy had told him that she would stay up until late, waiting for his knock at the door, and then Randy had called him selfish. He looked at her with her last statement and gave her a tired version of his robin hood look. “Is that what you dream about? Me?”

~ Roman

Rand shook her head gently, she wouldn’t purposely stay awake all night. Just till he fell asleep. She would try to sleep. She knew Randy had told Roman he was selfish and from Randy’s point of view it had probably seemed that way. Rand wouldn’t change any of it though, even if they had only stayed ‘almost-friends’. She didn’t get to say any of that though because Roman was suddenly giving her that look. The one that always made her stomach feel funny and made her flush from her toes all the way to her cheeks. She ducked her head into his shoulder as heat hit her cheeks, then she peeked up at him, “Tha.” She did, every time she dreamt, unless the nightmares plagued her. The medicine took care of that, but it also stopped her from dreaming at all.

Randy happened to glance over. He knew they were talking but it was too quiet for him to make out. He gave them a quizzical look. “What did you say to her that she’s trying to hide behind you now?”

Rand

Roman grinned and his look changed, from pure robin hood to robin hood/loving and he wrapped his arms around her. “That’s not embarrassing, it’s cute.” When Randy asked him what he said, he looked over at Randy, “She dreams about me.” He was avoiding sleeping still, though his eyelids drooped and his voice conveyed his tiredness both in tone and in the clearness of his enunciation.

~ Roman

Rand sighed and tried to hide the yawn that desperately wanted to escape. With Roman’s arms around her she was suddenly comfortable as a lot of the tension seeped out. “Then you be cute too.”

Roman rested his head against her. If only he could control what his dreams were about, he’d much rather dream about Rand. The idea reminded him what Randy had originally left the room for. “Did you find her hypo?”

Randy nodded and pointed to it on the table where he had dug it Ling with the wooden mouse out of the storage compartment.

Randy chuckled, “Good, she should. She is marrying you.” He got up and walked over taking scans of both of them. He went into the drawer and took out an ice pack and set it on the back of Rand’s head. “Hold that for her?” Then he scanned Roman and nodded, much much better. “You two go to sleep. I’m staying. Neither of you are in any position to watch over the other. And sleep in, neither of you will be going on duty tomorrow.” Randy pulled a blanket up, cut the lights off and then settled back into his chair. These two were going to be the death of him.

Rand

Roman pulled his free hand up and put it gently behind the ice pack, holding it in place. He was doing a lot better, though his heart was still recovering from the earlier event. He glanced back at Randy. He was what? Staying? No, he couldn’t. Roman didn’t have a problem with that besides his insecurity about people seeing his nightmares. Randy was going to be there all night… the thought bothered Roman. Then more bad news, he wanted to take Roman’s work away from him. “Not on duty tomorrow? Randy, no, you can’t. I have…” He named some mostly meaningless work that ‘needed doing’. None of it was lab work. It was all paperwork or XO stuff. But nothing urgent. “I need to work.”

~ Roman

The ice made Rand flinch right at first, the cold surprising, but it felt good, and had the unfortunate side effect of making her relax and yawn sleepily. Then Randy said no work, and her Gaelic protests blended with Roman’s posh English ones. She was already so far behind, no she couldn’t be off.

Randy looked at both of them. “Now listen here, both of you. I’ve coddled you enough. So has Elbbirt. And he knows about all this. Rand you can’t work. Helpful told Elbbirt all about your escapades today and looking at your scans, there is increased swelling where you hit your head. You aren’t hiding your symptoms very well either.”

He turned his gaze on Roman, “And you almost landed yourself in sickbay. I had to have Elbbirt’s permission to give you meds, so he knows about you too. I am more than willing to let you do desk work, here, depending on your scans in the morning. Besides if I am filling in for Rand you will have to stay here to keep an eye on her. So work from home.”

“You two are trying to make me choose between your mental well being and your physical health. Well if I let your physical health go, there will be no minds to care for.” He picked up Rand’s hypo. “Now both of you be still. You’re both getting this. Rand because you need sleep so your head will heal and Roman because your heart simply can’t take the strain. Be adults and deal with it.”

Rand

Roman, way too stubborn for his own good, and driven by the need to avoid what tomorrow was, shook his head. “I can’t not work, not tomorrow. I’m fine, honestly. These heart episodes usually get better within the day, or a few hours.” He shook his head to the meds. “It’ll be fine. Nightmares are… scary, not physical events. I won’t be running any marathons in my sleep.”

~ Roman

Randy glared at him. “Did I ask your opinion? No I did not. Your head and your heart don’t know it’s not real. And it’s been several hours and your heart still hasn’t settled.” Rand started to protest on Roman’s behalf. She didn’t for herself because she knew neither of them would let her have a say so about that. Randy stopped her. “No, just no.” Randy reached over and gave Rand the hypo and then dialed up the new dose. “Now you, mister master of evasion. Now you can be mad and hate me or accept it. I want you to wake up tomorrow with a rested and normal heart rate that is strong and steady. The alternative is an irregular weak heart that gives out and you don’t wake up. I am not exaggerating.”

Randy

Roman gave Randy a look and then glanced at Rand. Why did he have to say that? Now if he said no, Rand would panic about him dying in his sleep. Roman thought he was exaggerating at least a little. His mind refused to believe it was that bad. Or he’d be in sickbay, wouldn’t he? He was not going to sickbay. “You don’t have to scare Rand.” He commented and then sighed. He was still very relaxed by the tranquilizer. Otherwise they might never get him to say yes. But relaxed like he was his fears seemed less than normal, not really a problem. He nodded reluctantly. “Fine.”

~ Roman

Randy shook his head, “I am not scaring her. She knows this already. Why do you think she told you not to be like her? She knows the consequences quite well.” Rand pressed into his side and kissed his cheek. She knew, she could tell from the sounds of the tricorder. If he hadn’t let Randy give the tranquilizer he would be in sickbay. There was a fine line of a few seconds between managing and emergency. Roman had been very very close.

Roman tightened his arm around Rand when she pressed up to him and shrugged uncomfortably. “I took that one.” He said, meaning the tranquilizer. It was one of those things where he hated having to take it, but the effects were nice. He felt more relaxed than he had in months.

His agreement shocked them both but Randy didn’t wait. He gave the hypo and set the tricorder up to monitor silently and then Randy disappeared in the dark next to the table. “Both of you go to sleep.”

Randy

Roman settled back against Rand, relaxing like he had been before. He tucked his head against her and took a long, slow, deep breath. “Now I can’t be cute.” It was a comment on her earlier of him being cute too and dreaming about her, the meds would keep him from dreaming.

~ Roman

Rand shushed him, but this time there was a little laugh. “We cccan be cute…later.”

Randy not k owing what they were referring to just rolled his eyes and picked up Pipkin who was wandering around and gave the rabbit a look like ‘Your parents are weird.’

The ice was doing its job and despite her best effort to stay awake until Roman fell asleep, the relief was quickly making her body give in to sleep.

Rand

Roman could tell when she fell asleep. He smiled a little. So much for staying awake with him. But it didn’t matter for too long because soon he was asleep, too. Sleepy and relaxed he could never have lasted much longer.

~ Roman

The moment Roman fell asleep Rand yawned and stretched a bit. “Night Randy.” She wasn’t sure what Randy would do. A tricorder was almost as good as a biobed but he had to stay in the room to hear it. But then she was asleep and Randy would have to figure that out himself.

Rand’s sleep was quiet and deep as it usually was with the meds. The scans Randy ran over night showed the ice helped but there was likely to be some mild side effects the next day. Randy still wasn’t sure what was going on with those two. He would have to talk to them and find out, later. After a couple hours and more scans Randy went and got himself a pillow and a blanket and stretched out in two chairs, head back against the wall and dozed off and on. He was used to it. That was how he had slept the while time Rand had been in the hospital and then both of them in sickbay. It was almost weird to sleep in a bed now.

Rand

Roman’s sleep was quiet and uneventful, the meds made sure of that. He woke once or twice, briefly, not due to nightmare, just regular sleep trouble. By morning, when Rand’s alarm went off, his scans were looking decent. His heart rate was more normal, not so fast. A little irregular but not as irregular as the previous night. He stirred to the alarm, but, still tired from the weeks of poor sleep, did not want to fully wake.

~ Roman

Randy cursed silently and hurried to quiet the alarm. Of course the alarm had already been set. Randy checked and turned Roman’s off as well. Rand had started to stir as well but when things went quiet she settled back down. Randy left a note on Rand’s PaDD next to the bed for them to stay put, he would be back later. He needed a cold shower to help him wake up. Then medical reports to file and Rand’s morning rounds. He wanted to get done what he could early. He was going to crash in a couple of hours.

Rand

Roman settled back in, cuddling into Rand. When he did wake, he tried to go straight back to sleep, not wanting to be awake. If he was asleep, he didn’t have to think about anything. Not the date, not that event, not his heart. He didn’t know how long the meds lasted. When the nightmares would start again. He was going to make the most of the time he had.

~ Roman

Rand didn’t know either. Randy would tell him it was a once a day medication. It’s primary use was for blood pressure so the effects would last close to 24 hours. Roman had time and could sleep as long as he wanted. When he cuddled back into her, Rand sighed in her sleep, slipping her arms back around him and murmured his name. Obviously she wasn’t dreaming, but even in her sleep she was aware of him.

It was a couple hours later when Rand woke. Her hand reached up to gingerly touch the back if her head. She blinked awake and looked around. She didn’t recognize where she was. This wasn’t her room was it? Someone was next to her. No one should be in bed with her. She turned to look and was stunned…Cmdr Alden???…no Roman. It was Roman. He was supposed to be here. It all flooded back very quickly and shockingly. Where she was and why and all the events of the last few months. Then she began to cry. She hadn’t woken confused like that in a few weeks…why now. She turned back into Roman’s arms and tried not to wake him even though she was soaking his shirt.

Rand