Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side - sim: A Secret is a Prison

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in side - sim: A Secret is a Prison

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side - sim: A Secret is a Prison
Posted by… suppressed (16) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Roman walked her back up to their quarters. On the way, he grinned at her and said, “No medical restrictions… That means I can carry you whenever I like.” Back up in their quarters he sat with her on the bed for a few minutes. “I need to go back to the lab now,” he said with a sigh. He’d stay if he could but he’d already put off hours of work.

~ Roman

Rand turned red and looked up at him from the corner of her eye wondering if that was a warning that she was about to be picked up. Rand thought if Roman had his way she’d forget how to walk because he’d carry her everywhere. Before she sat down she made her way over to Pipkin’s cage and let her out. She didn’t want to have to get up and let her out later. Then she sat down next to him and leaned against him, slipping an arm around his waist for just a few minutes. When he said he had to get back to the lab she sat up and nodded with small smile. “I know. I’m sorry I kept you gone so long.” If Rand had known she wouldn’t have asked him to come. She was glad he did because now his own evaluations were over. She kissed him before he left.

No, he didn’t pick her up this time, but her blush and the thought made him smile. He wasn’t sure why he liked carrying her, he just did. He leaned into her while they sat together and then hugged her when she apologized, shaking his head. “I wanted to be there for you.”

Rand didn’t want to get up, but she knew she should eat something after that long session. She grabbed a water and a granola bar. She sat on the edge of the bed and slipped her shoes off. Pipkin hopped onto the bed and she nosed at Rand for a treat. Rand reached into Roman’s bedside table and pulled out the container of treats Pipkin liked so much and gave her two. “No more. You won’t eat your food if I do.” She put her water beside the bed and then she slept until Randy came to check on her a few hours later.

Rand

Roman headed back to the lab. Things had piled up while he was gone and he was busy the rest of the day. He didn’t mind the distraction from everything. He was still in the lab by 2000, reading over reports from his department.

~ Roman

With Randy’s help, Rand had been able to get the reports prepared and make it to her meeting with Rogers. After Randy offered to walk her down to the labs. “No, if he’s not back already he probably has work piled up.” She sank into a chair, all the extra time on the computer had given her a mild but persistent headache. “I am going to take a shower and then go to bed.”

“Rand,” Randy shook a finger at her, “you need to eat.”

“Fine, you go get it while I shower and I’ll eat. Shoo.” Rand disappeared into the bathroom. Randy brought her food and made sure she started eating before he left. He went by the lab and found Roman. “Rand wanted me to tell you she still doesn’t feel great after earlier so she didn’t think it was safe to come see the animals. She took a shower and went was planning to go to bed.”

Rand

Roman nodded and gestured to what he was doing. “I’m nearly done. Is she okay?” Did this need doing right that minute? Probably not, but like last year he was using work to avoid his own problems and feelings. As much as he was missing the time with Rand, using work to run away and hide from things was comfortable.

~ Roman

“Oh yeah. Just spent a lot of extra time in front of the computer today. She managed to do her evening rounds and meeting with a little help. And the physical eval wore her out. I think she will be fine tomorrow.” Randy gave him a long look, but decided not to ask him, in the lab, if he was okay. “Do you need anything Cmdr before I finish my shift?”

Randy

Roman nodded, relieved she was doing okay. Randy stood over him, quiet for a moment, and then spoke and Roman shook his head. “No,” he said, and nearly added ‘have a good night, Ensign,’ at the end, but that was way too impersonal for Randy so instead he looked up, offered a little half smile, and said, “I’ll be done soon anyway.”

Being called Ensign wouldn’t have bothered Randy. He filled many roles in his interactions with Roman and understood the need for firm lines at times. “Aye, Sir.” Then he left.

He didn’t finish up for another hour, and then once he had he headed back up to their quarters. All said and done he was quietly going in the door to their quarters at 2120, and peeked to see if Rand was already asleep, because if she was he didn’t want to wake her.

~ Roman

Rand looked asleep, but the lights were on and a reader’s theatre was playing. There was a half eaten plate of food. Pipkin sat up on her hind legs from where she was cuddles against her. The movement caused Rand to open her eyes and sit up. “Hi.”

Rand

Roman smiled when she sat up, sitting next to her. “How was your day? I heard you did evening rounds.” He asked. He noticed the plate, she’d eaten decently at least. Hearing the reader’s theatre playing made him happy too - it was just such a normal thing for her to do. The hypocrisy of worrying about what she’d eaten when he hadn’t at all that day was not lost on him.

~ Roman

“I slept mostly and stayed off the computer. I did do my rounds. Randy had to help me with the reports. The screen went blurry.” It felt like a win to her. She might have needed help and slept the rest of the day, but she managed to finish her duties and that was important to Rand. She saw him glance at the table. She ducked her head a little and shrugged apologetically. “I wanted to wait for you, but Randy insisted. He reminded me you would probably work late and I shouldn’t fall asleep without eating.” Rand was being oddly compliant about following directions and behaving. She grinned as Pipkin hopped over to Roman and started sniffing. “I shared a little of my salad with her. Were you able to get everything done after my appointment?”

Rand

Roman smiled and shook his head, “I’m glad you didn’t wait. I like eating with you, but I’d rather you eat than miss out because you were waiting for me.” Then he nodded. “Everything got done, just took a little longer than expected.” Rand was being very compliant, which, again, hypocritically made Roman happy. He gave Pipkin a little pet as the bunny started sniffing him, “I hope you’re not spoiling her with treats and salads.” He said, smiling again.

~ Roman

Rand didn’t say anything. She sat there, eyes innocently wide, her cheeks slightly pink, and her accent suddenly lilting out. “Spoil her? Veggies are good for her.” She was SO guilty.

Rand

Roman gave her a playful look and shook his head. “She’ll beg every time we eat.” He said, but really, he spoiled her too sometimes, and Rand would know it. He yawned, looking tired but not wanting to go to bed. “What play were you listening to?”

~ Roman

A giggle, happy and light hearted, came from Rand. “She already begs when we eat. She knows Gorshin sends her goodies. But I was good, I didn’t feed her from the table.” No Rand had just sat on the bed with Pipkin in her lap and fed her. At his question she reached over to the controls and paused the playback. She wasn’t listening anymore anyway. “Oh, it’s a dramatic reading of ‘Gulliver’s Travels’. I wanted something… unfamiliar.” She still refused to read her old scripts or watch/listen to any production of them. If she didn’t try to read or watch them then she didn’t have to deal with how upsetting it was that she couldn’t remember. She was avoiding the unpleasantness. Rand was still being stubborn about it.

Rand

Roman looked at her and smiled a little. “Still no Brave? Or Romeo and Juliet? Or… Pride and Prejudice?” He asked. He knew she hadn’t looked at, read, watched, or listened to, her old scripts since her attack. “You know.... reading them might help things come back.” He commented. There were some books, TV shows, he didn’t watch anymore. Reminded him too much of… the past.

~ Roman

Rand looked away, at Pipkin, the table, her hands. She was avoiding her scripts the way Roman avoided talking about the Ardent. “I…I…” She supposed if Roman could get through his eval, she could try. “I guess I could try… tomorrow?”

Rand

Roman smiled at that. “I want to be there when you do. I’ll run lines with you. Like we used to.” He offered. “After my shift. I’ll be off on time tomorrow… or close to it.” He wasn’t late off shift every day, but increasingly frequently. He claimed he was just busy. He didn’t like watching her avoid her scripts. They used to make her happy, she used to love them. Now she would barely look at them. He wouldn’t let her get like he was.

~ Roman

Oh…that wasn’t what Rand was meaning. She could just try to read them alone. She did not want to run lines. They did make her happy, but now it made her anxious and sick. She couldn’t remember, it was like a piece, the most important piece of herself had been amputated. It was gone and she knew it was missing, but couldn’t remember what it was like to have it. But doing things like they used to was so incredibly tempting. To be normal again. After his shift....but…wait…”What about visiting the animals?”

Rand

“We can still visit the animals. You usually only spend an hour or two doing that.” Even if he was late, they’d have plenty of time to read a play. He looked at her and smiled. “It’ll be fun.” He was not letting her avoid it. He’d been letting her avoid it for too long already.

~ Roman

It didn’t sound like fun. It sounded like staring in the mirror and not seeing yourself. Like torture. Rand’s anxiety was rising, clearly indicated by the fact she wasn’t looking at him, and got really quiet, wringing her hands into a white knuckled grasp. Her thoughts churned and spiralled. There was only one escape and that was sleep. She yawned, and it was obviously fake. She couldn’t make it convincing,she did remember how. “I’m tired, I’m ready for bed.” She was, it had been a long day, but it was also an excuse.

She crawled into bed, under the blanket, determined to go to sleep and not deal with her scripts.

Rand

Roman crawled into bed next to her and put his arm around her. “Don’t stress about it. It’ll be okay.” He was tired but he didn’t want to sleep. Her yawn was fake but he knew she was tired. It wouldn’t help to press any more, not tonight. But he wasn’t going to let her avoid them forever. He couldn’t watch her make the same mistakes he always did.

~ Roman

Rand fell asleep quickly, she didn’t want to think about it or talk about it, and so gave herself up to sleep. She did not sleep quietly that night, she never took the hypo. No night terrors, but dark, anxious, upsetting dreams made her sleep restless. She woke in the darkness, heart racing, breath shallow. She laid quietly in the dark until her heart slowed, hoping she hadn’t disturbed Roman.

Rand