Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in Side sim: Matters of the Heart

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in Side sim: Matters of the Heart

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in Side sim: Matters of the Heart
Posted by… suppressed (9) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Roman woke that night feeling like he’d had a bad nightmare. They must have given him something to help him sleep though, because he felt like he’d been sleeping. He started by trying to sit up, he was allowed to do that he thought, but as soon as he started moving, the monitors’ alarms went off, so he lay back down. Then he reached over for Rand’s hand. “Miranda? Was I..?” having a nightmare was the implied end of the question he didn’t want to say aloud.

~ Roman

Rand squeezed his hand, giving Shrine and Elbbirt a look. They left, leaving just Randy, she and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “Hey, you’re awake.” When the door shut behind them she shook her head. “No, not exactly. You…” she glanced at Randy. Not sure how to explain what happened. Randy came over and sat in a chair on the other side of the biobed, and leaned back in that relaxed posture he always had. “During your last treatment with the bone fuser you had an incident of psychological overwhelm that resulted in your PTSD triggering an acute flashback. You weren’t aware of your surroundings. You thought you were there rather than here on the Sentinel with us. You became extremely agitated and got out of bed, ran really, and then argued with the guards at the door. Long explanation short, your heart gave out again.”

Roman looked less surprised than maybe he should, but thoroughly embarrassed by what Randy was telling him. He remembered, at least vaguely, what he had done, as well as being convinced he was on the Ardent. That was why he thought it was a nightmare. The truth was, it had happened before, he’d had a flashback that bad. But it had been years ago, just months after the attack and had never happened since. So he had never told Rand or Randy. “I can’t believe I did that…” He tried to sit up again, more slowly than the first time, but still the alarms warned him not to do that.

Randy sighed and looked away and back. “It’s not your fault. I should have anticipated something like that could happen.” Randy took his responsibility for the crews mental health very seriously, Roman’s even more so. Roman had no record (that he knew of) of having such vivid and acute flashbacks, Randy hadn’t anticipated.

In this age before having a mandated psychologist on board, or mandated regular psych checks, it was easy for something like that to go unreported, especially if it happened off-duty, which luckily for Roman, it had. Roman shook his head again in response to Randy. “I should have better control of it. Shouldn’t let it happen.” It was similar to what he’d said about his nightmares. That he thought he could manage them, that he shouldn’t let them bother him so much.

Randy wasn’t going to argue with him. They had argued rounds with it. You couldn’t control something like that, only manage the symptoms and the aftermath. Randy didn’t think it was worth upsetting him by delving into it right now.

It was a lot for him to take in, but Randy trusted that Alden needed the information more than he needed to be coddled. A much different approach than he’d taken with Rand 5 years ago. Rand squeezed his hand again, her thumb rubbing over the back of his knuckles. “You had a severe relapse, Roman. That’s why it’s hard to get up. I can raise the bed if you want. We just need to be careful.”

Rand

Your heart gave out again… You had a severe relapse. So his heart had given out, like they had been watching him could happen. Roman remembered Rand’s story. That after her heart gave out the second time she’d been back on support, back on the meds, sedated, and had to stay longer than her first time. So that meant… “Was I out again?” And even worse… “How much longer will I be here?”

~ Roman

Rand raised the bed for him allowing him to sit up, more eye level with them, but letting the bed take the strain of sitting up. That way the alarms would stay quiet. “For several days.” It was all Rand could say and be calm about it. Her being worried wasn’t going to help him. Randy held his hands up, “Don’t know. I know you don’t like that answer. You’re on a high dose of the cardiac meds. You can leave on them, but it depends on how well you do getting up and moving around. How well your heart does.” There was more, but he wouldn’t say in front of Rand, and really Grat or Elbbirt should say.

Several more days out. Roman sighed. He felt like he was missing so much. And on top of that, they couldn’t give him an answer on when he could go. He felt like he’d never get out of Sickbay.

Rand got up and moved to the other bed messing with some container sitting there, it was hard to see, covered by a blanket, “You have a visitor by the way. Elbbirt said it would be okay, but we can’t tell.” Rand came back, fluffy white and orange fur settled in her arms. Pipkin was wearing a harness attached with a leash. She was so small Rand wasn’t worried about setting her in Roman’s lap and she excitedly climbed her way up onto his chest. With his ribs healed there should be little pain unless his heart acted up. “She missed you.”

Rand

It didn’t hurt him at all when the little bunny crawled up onto him. She was light anyway, his ribs were healed, and his incision wasn’t very sore anymore this many days after surgery. And for the moment at least, his heart was cooperating. “Pipkin!” He said, smiling, and then chuckled as the little bunny put her cold nose in his face and sniffed. He gave her a gentle hug and scratched her ears. “How did you get Elbbirt to say yes to this?”

~ Roman

“Well I had to promise to help clean and sanitize the room after.” Then she had this absolutely devastated look on her face, tears, quivering lower lip, clutched hands in her lab, “But…but Dr Elbbirt, she’s SO sad…she’s depressed, you have to let me. She’s just a bunny she doesn’t understand why he’s gooone.” Complete with quivering voice. Randy chocked like he had water go down the wrong way, but he wasn’t drinking anything.

Rand

Roman grinned at her act. There were few people anywhere that could say no to that, he was sure. He hugged on and pet Pipkin some more, baby-talking the little rabbit as he did. “She’ll have to find more reasons to sneak you down here, yes she will.” He said to the bunny. It was quite clearly a good idea, Pipkin was obviously helping keep him relaxed and making him happy.

~ Roman

Pipkin was obviously happy as her nose twitched and sniffed all over Roman, even though she was hunkered down on his chest. Rand had to grin over at Randy. Pipkin was having a good effect on him. Rand even brought her favorite treats along and handed the container to Roman.

Roman fed her several of the treats and then he started playing with her. He was being careful, both not to move too much himself, and with the rabbit. The sickbay bed was smaller than the bunk in his quarters.

After a couple of hours though, Rand had to take Pipkin back to their quarters. Elbbirt had agreed to the visit, but a rabbit, unless it was sick, was not staying in sickbay. So Rand bundled her back up and ‘snuck’ out, Morgan going with her. Elbbirt came in and sat down. “Well Cmdr. I’m sure you have quite a few questions. But let’s start with the results of what happened.” Randy thought maybe Elbbirt should have done this with the rabbit in the room. “You have some damage to your cardiac muscle that is not responding to treatment as well as we would like. It’s not so bad that you won’t be able to resume normal activities or work, but it is something that you need to make sure to let your future doctors be aware of.”

Elbbirt

Roman didn’t want to let her take Pipkin away, but he had to. She could stay in sickbay. Elbbirt had been nice to allow the visit, and Grat probably wouldn’t have done it at all. So finally he gave up the rabbit and let Rand bundle her up and take her away. Nearly as soon as she was gone, Elbbirt came in with one of those really serious looks that made him think something was wrong. “What does that mean? Why would future doctors need to know about it?” Why had they waited until Rand left with Pipkin to tell him this? He reached for her hand before he remembered she wasn’t there, she was taking the rabbit back up to their quarters. “What about my jiu jitsu?”

~ Roman

“They need to know so if something should happen again they are aware and can react accordingly. What I might do for a perfectly healthy heart that was injured is different than what I would do for one that is hurt. I don’t see why you can’t resume your jiu jitsu, once you are fully recovered. But,” he put emphasis on the word, “you will have to learn to listen to your body. If the damage doesn’t fully heal, you could have problems if you don’t. Worse than what happened to your leg.”

Roman looked sheepish at that comment. His fear of sickbay was worse, not better. He was more likely to try and ignore a problem. He wouldn’t hide them, not from Rand, but that wouldn’t stop him from ignoring them to avoid sickbay.

Randy saw him reach for her. “We haven’t told Rand. She’s already on edge and well I’m being protective.”

“The damage may fully heal,” Elbbirt said, “there is no way to tell right now. It’s just going slowly. There are options to consider. Right now I would like to continue with the dermal reginerator. I nor Grat want to do surgery again.”

Elbbirt

Roman nodded to Randy, it would be better to wait to tell her. Or at least to tell her all of it. She would at least need to know why they were doing more treatment for it. He looked at Elbbirt and frowned. The dermal regenerator was better than the bone fuser but he still didn’t like it. But he did not want surgery again. That would only add more recovery time, to an already undetermined amount of time. “I don’t want surgery again, either.”

~ Roman

“Surgery would open up some extreme but effective treatment solutions, but I feel that is premature. The dermal reginerator is a good option paired with antiinflammatories and cardiac support may be much slower, keep you on meds longer, but less invasive. But this goes back to listening to yourself. If you are in the gym and your chest feels tight, heavy, hurting, you need to stop. We can even give you a tricorder and hypo so you can check yourself to see if you need meds. Knowing when your heart has had too much and letting it rest will keep you out of sickbay.”

Randy nodded, “Rand had to do it. But she is back at running, she was even exercising with you, and passed all her PT requirements. There is no reason you can’t return to normal routines. As long as you don’t move faster than your heart is ready for.”

Randy

Roman chuckled softly. “Rand might kill me herself if she catches me trying to move too fast.” And she would love having a tricorder to check him with. He frowned and looked at Randy, then Elbbirt, “How much longer will I be here? And how long do you think I’ll be on heart meds?”

~ Roman

Randy laughed, “She might.” Rand might like being able to use the tricorder to keep an eye on him, but Roman could use it to keep an eye on her too. “Here…week and a half to two weeks. It set you back almost completely, but you know what to expect if you move too fast too soon, so that could work in your favor. No black outs, no assumptions you’re fine when you aren’t. The meds, a month at least. After that you’ll have an as needed hypo incase you find yourself struggling. Again, less invasive than surgery.”

Elbbirt

It was definitely less invasive than surgery, but still frustrating to him and he sighed. At least it wasn’t longer. “And I’ll be okay to work once I’m out of here? As long as I don’t overdo anything?” He was going to have so much to catch up on. And no way could Rand sneak Mushu in here. He’d have to check the lab feeds and see how his lizard was doing.

~ Roman