Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in Side sim: Matters of the Heart

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in Side sim: Matters of the Heart

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in Side sim: Matters of the Heart
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
When Rand shifted so she was against his side, Roman tightened his grip, holding her tight like he did during the dance, when he’d grabbed her and held her. When she moved to sit up, he let her go so she could. She looked away from him briefly, up over his head at the monitor, and then back down at him, her hand on his cheek still gently keeping him looking at her. He started to shake his head, he wasn’t that hurt, he didn’t need that, he’d be fine. But when she finished what she was saying with your heart could stop, looking at him with concern, he knew how he would feel in her shoes. He’d want her to do anything to prevent that from happening. No matter how unlikely he wanted to think it was. Because that was how he coped, by trying to deny his problems were problems. And it did scare him, he didn’t want that to happen for himself. Even advanced medicine could only do so much to save a heart.

Rand had been through this before, too. After she had her heart problem on her birthday. She’d been through a lot of this before. So when she said it would make him tired but not put him to sleep he trusted her. He turned the hand she was holding against her chest so it was around her hand and squeezed her hand.

Rand squeezed his hand back tightly. She hoped it helped him, knowing she’d been through this herself. That she knew, or mostly knew, every medication and treatment they might use, the equipment and how long recovery was, and what it felt like. She understood, really she did, how much he wanted out of there, and how scary it was to know your heart wasn’t working right. He was already doing better than she was though. She’d been on the pulmonary support system for over a week.

At her whispered Gaelic words in his ear, he managed a little smile. He knew exactly what she meant. And he hoped Randy hadn’t heard because he would know too. It wasn’t a deal he thought he could meet his end on but he nodded anyway. “Okay.”

~ Roman

Randy was too busy watching Alden’s vitals and the door. Every time a shadow or a face passed by he was watching, his posture shifting some, as if preparing for the worst. Also Rand was using Gaelic so he figured she didn’t want anyone to know what she was saying anyway. Roman’s voice reached his ear with an Okay and Randy didn’t waste any time. He took the hypo from Elbbirt and pressed it to Alden’s neck, just over the superior vena cava, so the medicine would go straight to his heart. Randy put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. Trying to keep the atmosphere light Randy smirked slightly. “Would you like to change or try some water before you two play 20 questions?”

Randy must have been listening because nearly the moment Roman consented to the medication he felt the hypo against his neck. It was one of the fastest ways to deliver medication and it took a couple short minutes to take effect. When it did, his heart rate lowered considerably and he took a deeper breath. The monitors, still beeping along with his vitals, stopped making so much noise about them. “Water might be good.”

Randy reached behind him for a cup. He steadied it at first, more because he knew that the bandages might make it difficult to grab at first and after two days he might be a bit shaky. “Slowly, but you can have as much as you want.” Alden had been getting IV fluids, but the last thing they needed with heart damage was dehydration.

Roman wanted it more to rinse his mouth than anything. So he took a big drink and swallowed and then started taking slower, smaller sips of the water. He held the cup with both hands, and then returned his hand to Rand’s, against her chest, when he was sure he could support the cup with one hand.

Rand wasn’t sure how much to tell him. He was going to be very upset and react badly no matter what. She leaned her forehead against his. “If it gets too much, just squeeze my hand and we’ll stop, so you can think about it or we can talk about something else, okay?” It wasn’t something she would normally even say to him. But she knew that even though you could (or in her case could not) handle things well, when the heart struggled normal every day things could seem overwhelming and difficult to deal with.

He was feeling the tiredness of the meds, like Rand had promised, not so tired as to put him to sleep but certainly as if it had siphoned some of his energy away. He let his head rest against his pillow, leaning just a little bit into her. “Okay.”

She started with simple things that he’d mentioned when he first woke up. “Franks is taking care of the animals himself. Mushu isn’t exactly friendly towards him, but the way Franks describes it, Mushu is very curious about him. Nibbles seems okay. She hides from him when he opens the lid but will come out after he closes it and watch him. The Chinzillas are a bit subdued and the Goo Lizard seems unaffected. He checked all the animals carefully, himself, and none of them were hurt or affected by the power surge. He is also handling all the departmental paperwork.” Rand paused there and waited, listening to the monitors, but her eyes never left his and she continued to breathe slow and deep.

Rand

Listening to her talk about his animals seemed to relax him, though it made him long to be back in the lab where he belonged. The mention of the power surge sparked something in his memory. When he woke up, Rand said he’d been electrocuted, that was what damaged his heart. He eyed the bandages on his hands for a moment, thinking about it. Elbbirt had said he was using a machine that malfunctioned… He still couldn’t remember. But he did remember what had happened that morning, what he’d been so worried about that day. The letter, the threat. His breath caught and his heart rate went up a little. He returned his gaze to her eyes and frowned. “Was it deliberate?”

~ Roman

When his breath caught, Rand’s hand tightened around him, squeezing hard. The look on her face was enough to give him an answer. She nodded and blinked tears away. “It was. Morgan…she umm…” she swallowed hard. “She had three different engineers look at it. It was rigged.” She pressed her face into his neck for a moment, her thumb rubbing along his cheek, their hands tucked tight against her chest. Then she made herself take a deep breath. She looked over her shoulder at the door and back at him. “That’s why no one’s allowed in. Me, Randy, Elbbirt, Shrine, Grat, and Temple. No one else.”

Randy nodded, “Security detail outside the door, and also why you’re staying here until you’re better.”

Rand

Roman frowned and nodded. That wasn’t good news. As bad as things were, he’d prefer if it had been a poorly timed accident. He hugged her close when she pressed her face into his neck. “It’s a good thing it wasn’t rigged well enough, then. Some excuse for an assassin,” he said, his attempt to lighten the mood. He recognized the names of everyone on her list except Grat… But he remembered Elbbirt said that was the doctor who did the surgery so, if he’d wanted him dead, it wouldn’t have exactly been hard to finish the job. He looked up at the door and then looked at Randy. “When is until I’m better, then? How long am I stuck here?” He almost said how long do you think I’m stuck here, because typically he’d already have an escape plan.

~ Roman

Now normally a patient at such a state of recovery, Elbbirt would be all over their visitor to be careful and give them space. Rand’s presence and whatever secrets she was whispering to Alden had such a calming effect on the Cmdr, Elbbirt could only shake his head in wonder. “Hearts are tricky things, Cmdr. You’re doing very well, but it is a slow careful process.” Elbbirt pulled over a stool and sat down. “I know how much you hate visiting us down here. You’re quarters simply aren’t equipped for your current medical needs. If something went wrong, it would go wrong so fast we wouldn’t make it in time. I also looked into having engineering set it up in your quarters, but given the circumstances,” Elbbirt waved at the door, “who would we trust?”

Roman’s face turned red when Elbbirt said he hated visiting here and he looked away. Ensign Kovan, maybe. If it meant he’d get to return to his quarters. Their Andorian engineer was a bit of a jerk, and Roman wasn’t sure Kovan could be bothered to care who had how much money. The Chief Engineer would typically be a good choice, but he was so new to the ship that under the circumstances Roman couldn’t bring himself to trust him. But he knew enough about security to know Elbbirt was right, it would be impractical to trust anyone with such preparations. Not to mention impractical from an engineering perspective, to set his quarters up in such a way. But that didn’t make him like it any more. Elbbirt’s refusal to answer did not help quell his anxiety about the situation. His meds had been helping to keep him calmer, but now he was looking at Elbbirt and Randy, desperate for an answer, trying to keep his breathing under control.

Rand pressed closer, whispering to him. “Roman just keep breathing okay, for me. I’m right here.” She threaded her fingers through his. “Two weeks, at least. I’ll be right here, I promise. We can do this, together, just like we do everything else.” She could tell him all about how she had pushed herself, she’d just needed to get away, and how she’d ended up back in the hospital for longer than her first stay. That two weeks would be easy. She wasn’t sure it would be, but she would try. But she also knew he needed to wrap his head around that news. She just needed his heart to stay calm even if he got stressed or angry or afraid. She needed him to be okay.

Rand

Rand pressed closer to him, asking him to breathe, to stay calm. She was preparing him for news he wasn’t going to like. Then she intertwined her fingers through his and told him his answer, followed by a promise she’d be there. Roman felt his chest constricting again. He tried to force even breaths but he good as well have a bag of bricks on his chest. “I couldn’t do one week. I can’t do two!” He said and then he took a little breath. His heart wasn’t reacting as much as before but his heart rate was still climbing. He forced a deep breath, but it did little to help. He was trying, hard, for her. But to him, that sounded like a long time. Three years ago, there was the month on the Ardent (and that was a nightmare on its own) and then there was two weeks after that, plus PT before he could return to full duty. That was longer than this. But it had also been the hardest time of his life and like his leg, this was an unwelcome reminder of it.

~ Roman

Rand didn’t know what to say to him. It wasn’t a matter of could or could not, he was going to have to. She listened as the monitors started beeping faster. She should have told Grat to keep him under longer. Roman was going to get hurt, and it was her fault. Grat and Elbbirt had talked with her at length, answering her questions and explaining his treatment. But she knew most of it was just a matter of waiting and letting the body do what it needed to do. She rubbed her thumb across his cheek again, getting him to look at her. “I know it’s a lot. The first week is for your ribs to heal. If they should slip and puncture something, your heart isn’t strong enough to maintain. The second week is for your heart. You’re going to have to be stubborn.” She kissed him, her thumb still moving. “Stubborn ann an dòigh eadar-dhealaichte. Dèan a h-uile dad dìreach mar a tha na dotairean ag ràdh, gus am faigh thu a-mach às an seo. Mar sin faodaidh sinn a dhol dhachaigh. (Stubborn in a different way. Do everything exactly as the doctors say, so you can get out of here. So we can go home.)”

Rand