Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in Side sim: Matters of the Heart

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in Side sim: Matters of the Heart

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in Side sim: Matters of the Heart
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Rand held his hand against her own heart and Roman could feel that it was racing. It made him feel bad. He was scaring her, stressing her out. But when she turned his gaze to her she’d see how afraid he looked. Even now he was trying to cover it with stubbornness but it was there, in his eyes. He tried to take a deep breath for her but it caught in his throat and he coughed lightly again. He was going to pull her into a hug but then his stomach hurt, bad, he was so scared and upset and straining his body so much that the next thing he did was lean away from her and throw up over the side of the bed. There wasn’t much substance to it. There hadn’t been much on his stomach when it happened and it had been two days since then. He took a short shaky breath, looked at her and shook his head. “I can’t…” he took another breath, “I’m trying, but I can’t.”

~ Roman

Rand nodded, she knew. She knew that struggle and the fear. Her racing heart wasn’t just Roman and his stubbornness, but the fact someone had gotten really close to killing him. He had to get better, so he could be safe. She changed her breathing to match his, a starting point. Randy used to do that with her. When his breath was laboured and shallow but steady Rand, with Randy’s subtle help, she got Roman to lay back (reclined not flat), it would take the pressure off his chest. Any time his gaze wandered she would rub her thumb slowly across his cheek to bring his gaze back. She sat on the edge of his bed, facing him, slowly adjusting her breathing as he matched hers. It would take awhile she was sure. Rand spoke slowly, softly, intimately between them. She used Gaelic, now, because he would have to focus to understand what she was saying. “Tha mi a ‘toirt mo chridhe dhut Aig eirigh na gealaich Agus suidheachadh nan reultan. Gu gràdh agus gu urram Tro na h-uile a dh’fhaodas tighinn. Tro ar beatha gu lèir còmhla Nar beatha uile, Gum bi sinn air ar n-ath-bhreith Gus an coinnich sinn agus gum bi fios againn Agus gaol a-rithist, Agus cuimhnich (I take you my heart,At the rising of the moon, And the setting of the stars. To love and to honor, Through all that may come. Through all our lives together, In all our lives, May we be reborn, That we may meet and know, And love again, And remember)

Rand

It took a while, but Roman’s breathing started to get steadier, matching hers. “The lab. I need to be in the lab. There’s the animals…” He blubbered on, but eventually stopped, quieting. He ended up wiping his mouth on the medical gown he was wearing. Certainly not ideal but he didn’t have anything else.

When his breathing was still too fast, laboured and rapid, but steadier like hers, she started to lay him back with Randy. At first he resisted but as he started to relax he let himself be guided back. It helped the horrible pressure in his chest, which in turn lessened the pain. His chest still hurt, he was still nauseous, and his heart rate was still way too high, but it was a start.

She wouldn’t let his focus wander. If he looked elsewhere, as the panicked feeling started to come back, he’d feel her thumb, gently against his face, redirecting him back to her, speaking words he had to be paying attention to understand. He could tell what Elbbirt meant about the skin of his palms still being new and raw, as he set one against Rand’s arm and squeezed and left the other resting against her chest. The burns were healed enough it didn’t hurt, but it tingled uncomfortably and just felt weird.

When he squeezed her arm, she smiled at him and nodded a little. She was there with him, and she wasn’t going anywhere. He was coming down, but not as fast as she wished. He must have been doing okay though because Elbbirt nor Randy had snuck a dose of sedatives into him. She kept breathing with him.

It did take a while, a long while, but slowly his breathing followed hers as she kept adjusting the rate downwards and his heart rate came down some. It was still too high, strained for long enough to make it struggle again, but it was a lot better than before. Now that he was laying back, taking weight and pressure off his chest, the soreness of his healing incision and bones went down, back to a level of soreness but not pain, or if he moved too much it would hurt, the pain meds still in effect (they’d given him a dose of his medications before waking him, to avoid having that fight right away). He spoke in English accented Gaelic himself, it took effort, but that helped keep his focus where it was supposed to be, where it needed to be, “Tha mi gaol dhut cho mòr, Miranda.” (I love you so much, Miranda).

~ Roman

“Tha mi gaol dhut cho mòr, Ròmanach.” She leaned in as he laid back keeping the space between them small. Also not allowing whatever Ellbirt and Randy were doing to distract him. She continued in Gaelic because it seemed to help, but also it protected his privacy a little. Except from Randy, but Randy already knew. “I almost lost you, Ròmanach. I know you’re scared but I need you to do what they tell you. I want to grow old with you. I promise I won’t leave while you’re in here.” It had helped when he was in for his leg, so maybe it would help now if she was careful. Then she kissed him, gently and carefully. Rand was terrified and trying not to show it.

Rand

It did help, because he wanted to know what she was saying, so it forced him to focus on something other than his fears. He made the kiss short, not because he didn’t enjoy it or didn’t want it (in fact, like previously, his heart rate shot up and then dropped some when she kissed him), but because his mouth must have been foul, between however long he’d been here and having thrown up. Each time Elbbirt or Randy moved Roman’s gaze would flick over to them to see what they were doing, and then back to Rand. His breaths, at least slower now, were still shaky and his heart rate refused to drop any lower than it was, which was still kind of high.

He replied in English at first, “I want that, too.” Then he switched to Gaelic, glad to have an option to protect his privacy in front of the doctor, “I can try, but I don’t know if I can do that.” He wasn’t used to speaking the language, there were small mistakes, but he was perfectly understandable. He took a shaky breath, he knew if he started to panic, he would fight no matter what was going on.

He slipped his arm around her and pulled her closer, into a loose hug. He’d have hugged her tight, like he usually did, but he’d have to press her against his chest and he couldn’t do that right now. A new wave of fear gripped his chest, pushing his heart rate higher once again. He struggled to keep breathing slowly. In English again, “You’ll have to. How long will I be here? How long have I been here?”

The answers to both his questions were going to be distressing to him. The original emergency had occurred at just past 1500, meaning he’d been here two and a half days, coming up on three days. He’d need to be here at least two weeks, three to four weeks would be ideal. It would take a week to completely heal his ribs, the rest of the time was for his heart, because if he wasn’t here, and something went wrong, it would go very wrong very fast.

~ Roman

Rand moved slightly so she was pressed against his side rather than his chest, that way he could hold on as tight as he wanted and not hurt himself. She tried to coax his heart rate back down, but finally she sat up admitting defeat, it wasn’t working. Still having hold of his hand over her heart and one against his cheek, she looked up at the monitor and back at him. “Roman, I promise I’m going to answer all your questions. We have to do something first, though. Your heart, it’s working too hard for too long. Randy is going to give you a cardiac support drug. It will help ease the strain and keep your heart rate down. If you don’t take it, your heart could stop.” She didn’t want to scare him, but he had to understand it was important. “When your heart slows down, you’ll feel tired, but it won’t put you to sleep.” Not yet anyway. Elbbirt and Grat wanted him awake, so it wouldn’t be too high of a sedative mixed in. She leaned in and whispered in his ear, “Nì mi cùmhnant dhut. Gabhaidh tu meas do chrìdh’ gun strì, cha chuir mi romham ach satan uaine air mìos na meala.”

Rand

When Rand shifted so she was against his side, Roman tightened his grip, holding her tight like he did during the dance, when he’d grabbed her and held her. When she moved to sit up, he let her go so she could. She looked away from him briefly, up over his head at the monitor, and then back down at him, her hand on his cheek still gently keeping him looking at her. He started to shake his head, he wasn’t that hurt, he didn’t need that, he’d be fine. But when she finished what she was saying with your heart could stop, looking at him with concern, he knew how he would feel in her shoes. He’d want her to do anything to prevent that from happening. No matter how unlikely he wanted to think it was. Because that was how he coped, by trying to deny his problems were problems. And it did scare him, he didn’t want that to happen for himself. Even advanced medicine could only do so much to save a heart.

Rand had been through this before, too. After she had her heart problem on her birthday. She’d been through a lot of this before. So when she said it would make him tired but not put him to sleep he trusted her. He turned the hand she was holding against her chest so it was around her hand and squeezed her hand.

At her whispered Gaelic words in his ear, he managed a little smile. He knew exactly what she meant. And he hoped Randy hadn’t heard because he would know too. It wasn’t a deal he thought he could meet his end on but he nodded anyway. “Okay.”

~ Roman