Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in side - sim: In Memory of Jay

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side - sim: In Memory of Jay

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in side - sim: In Memory of Jay
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
“No,” he said, lifting his head. She explained to him the parts she’d have trouble with and he knew she understood, he wasn’t worried about her confusing it. He was just being his typical stubborn self. Without reading the label he stuck the next disk in.

It would be the last video on the disk that was taken on the day of the attack, the two before it would be filmed just a couple of days earlier and the day before. The file named were marked with the date. Roman was familiar with about when the videos were taken, and he knew they were getting close, but he hadn’t realized how close. Rand was doing most of the notes, after all, she was dealing with the dates. The first two videos on the disk were short, four and seven minutes, the last one from the 19th was longer.

~ Roman

Rand didn’t think he would let her just go through and get the information. He had to be part of it. The first two videos didn’t take long. They wrapped up several of the studies that bad been conducted. There was the venom antidote left and the life cycle studies, but the animals didn’t survive the attack. The attack! What had been bothering Rand suddenly became clear. The final entry was the day of the attack. She ejected the disk suddenly, “We’re done,” and took the disk with her as she left.

The videos had been upsetting as they always were for him, and they’d only been more difficult the further they’d gone. He wasn’t crying as much anymore, as if he’d simply dehydrated himself out of tears over the last week, but he was quiet, and Rand would be able to tell it was hard for him. He was lost in thought in between videos when Rand jumped up and made him jump. She ejected the disk and left with it. “Rand? We’re not done! What’s wrong?”

She had to find Randy. She didn’t care how mad she was at him, she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t watch it, she couldn’t watch Roman watch it. No. Enough. She found Randy still on shift in sickbay. She marched right up to him, “You, now,” and dragged him to an out of the way to a quiet corner. Randy stamped his foot and glared at her, “Rand I’m working. You might get to be lazy this week and goof off taking your leave time, but I still have things to do.”

Rand slapped the disk into his hand. “Yes work, this work right here.” She grabbed his arm and her voice dropped very low. “It’s recorded…the attack, it’s on this disk. I can’t…he can’t.” Randy pinched his nose, “And you just snatched it away and disappeared with it.” It wasn’t a question. He took the disk, dragging Rand with him and marched her right back to Alden’s quarters. “Alright, so Rand I want you back here in an hour, go play with Nibbles or something.” He looked at Alden and then sat down. “You know why she stole the disk?” He was pretty sure Alden did.

Randy

It had taken a few minutes after she’d marched off without a real word why, but yes, he knew. The realization had set in when he looked to see which disks were left: none of them. And they’d gone by date. That meant she had the last disk, and Roman… Well, he was never able to forget.

He knew what exactly they’d been doing that day and that meant he knew what was on the disk. It had to be, to freak her out like that. But he wouldn’t have guessed that the final video would’ve been saved. He’d have assumed that with the ship damage it would’ve been corrupted, like so many other files had been.

But somehow, it wasn’t. Of course it wasn’t. Roman’s face gave it away to Randy. He knew, and he couldn’t believe it. That that was on video. After all he’d been through trying to finish the project, he didn’t think he could handle it. He was upset enough at the knowledge of its existence. The fact that Randy was here, and that he was sending Rand away, confirmed it. He nodded slowly to Randy’s question.

~ Roman

Randy saw the emotions chase across Alden’s face and then shook his head. “Let’s start with, we don’t actually know how much information is there. All we know is there is some data from that date. The only way to know for sure is to look. Now there are a couple of options. You don’t watch that file at all. I’m sure every minute of that day is vividly clear to you. You let me watch it, like fast forward, not listening not really playing, just so I can tell you whether or not it’s intact, or we just dive in and watch it and be surprised. Professionally I am not a fan of the last option. There is quite a bit of proven benefit in retelling the events from your own words. To get them out, to practice saying it, and facing it. Watching it is not the same thing. It’s too traumatic. And since we haven’t even broached the subject in conversation I highly advise against it.”

Randy

It took Roman a long moment to respond. “We don’t… we don’t know how much data is left intact. But I do know what what filmed that day, it was the only thing we planned to video that day.” It was supposed to be exactly what Rand thought, a summary of their life span observations and expectations. Obviously his animals were mostly not even close to living out their natural life spans but the video was talking about what life stages they had seen and judging by how long they were how long they expected the full life span to be. But they’d barely started the video when the attack happened and Roman didn’t know how much the of the attack the camera caught, how long it recorded for.

Roman knew he couldn’t watch that video. He already saw it, in bits and pieces, every night when he went to bed. He already relived it every time the ship shook. Every time there was a sound that reminded him of that day. To actually see it again… Roman wasn’t sure what it would do but it wasn’t good. So he shook his head again. “I can’t. I can’t… watch it. No. It… The direction the camera was pointed… It likely caught most of what happened, depending on how long it recorded for.”

~ Roman

Randy waited while Alden processed, found his words, his breath. Randy was relieved Alden wasn’t going to be stubborn about it. One day maybe, but he wasn’t ready.

“Alright, so let’s back up just a moment to the work.” Always a safe topic. “Had you already written the notes of what you were going to talk about? Did those notes survive?” Randy pointed to the PaDD.

“We wrote the notes after we shot the videos. Jay… He preferred it that way.” His voice was strained, this was still difficult for him. “They survived in parts. Everything from the last month or so worth of notes had corrupted sections.”

“I think this disk should be put away not to be examined. That said, do you need whatever data might be there or can you reconstruct it? If you absolutely without a doubt need it…I can watch it for you. Otherwise let’s aknowledge you have reviewed the project to full extent of what data was recovered and you are finished.” Randy didn’t think Alden or Rand should ever watch what might or might not be on there.

Randy

“I need that data. When Starfleet decides they need this study, there won’t be time to repeat the life cycle studies we did. The notes are vital to the project. It must be watched.” But not by Roman. He’d rather do it himself, but he valued his ability to do his job more. And he’d never, ever, let Rand see it if he could be sure of that.

~ Roman