Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side - sim: In Memory of Jay

(snip)

Roman wrapped his fingers around her hand as she laced her own fingers through his. Then he felt Rand’s warm breath on his hand as she kissed the back of it. He moved closer to her as she turned to her side. She lowered their hands onto his chest, and then began the familiar rhythmic squeezing of his hand. He was used to her doing that when he was stressed or scared, helping him control his breathing. Now, he was calm, but his breathing still started to follow hers. It was always relaxing, both laying with her and the way she squeezed his hand, and that was all he wanted to do.

~ Roman

Rand kept up the steady breaths, but stayed quiet. Letting Roman process or ignore or remember or not. She wasn’t worried about work or where they were supposed to be. She was on leave time and he was the XO, he made his own schedule for the most part. At some point though they both dozed off. Or perhaps it was more like a deep meditative state. Rand was brought suddenly awake by the feel of whiskers and a tiny twitching nose tickling her neck. She shrugged sharply away from it and suddenly the small weight on her shoulder (that she hadn’t noticed) was gone. There was a soft foop as Pipkin landed on the mattress behind her. Rand sat up quickly with a “Oh…Pipkin?” As she turned around to find her. Rand was worried she’d gotten hurt. Instead the precocious little bunny was sitting up on her hind legs, ears flapping, looking like she found the whole situation funny. Rand sighed, shook her head, and picked her up.

Rand

Ignore was definitely where Roman was. Trying his hardest not to get lost in sad memories. He was tired of being sad. It was beginning to feel like he’d lost Jay all over again and those were exactly the kinds of feelings he’d been trying to avoid all these years.

Roman, in the comfortable silence was instead contemplating what Randy had said. Not the last time they met in his office, but the time before, a little over a week prior. I won’t lie and say it will be easy or get harder for a bit, but it will get better in the end. Or you can continue as you are. Put simply Commander, you suffer from Acute Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Those words had stuck with him. Not because it bothered him, but because of the idea of it getting better. He hadn’t yet said anything about it to Randy. He didn’t want to accept that there was a problem that needed correcting. What’s wrong with how I am now? He’d said. As if the seemingly neverending nightmares weren’t problematic enough without all of the other things Randy had pointed out. You know, Rand, she has it too but she serves with distinction. His hand tightened slightly on Rand’s. He also hadn’t managed to shake that out of his mind. It wasn’t like he couldn’t serve, in fact he’d probably do his job better if he let Randy help.

His thoughts were interrupted when Rand sat up suddenly, startled by Pipkin. As soon as he felt her move, Roman sat up, taking the little pillow off his face. He felt a little better, his eyes didn’t sting so much anymore and the colour in his face had returned to normal. He saw Rand had Pipkin and figured that was what had happened. “Decided she wanted attention, did she?”

~ Roman

Rand nodded, looking guilty. “She tickled my neck and when I jerked she fell off my shoulder. She’s so light I didn’t realize she was sitting on me. I was afraid she got hurt.” She looked up at him from where she was petting Pipkin; he seemed better. His eyes were only slightly pink but not swollen and his color was normal. Rand tried to put her down but she just jumped back into her lap. “Spoiled.” Rand didn’t seem to concerned over it though. She took Pipkin with her and opened the cooler drawer and frowned. There were no treats. Had it been that long since she’d grabbed anything from the Galley for Pipkin? It must have. She put Pipkin firmly on the floor. The little rabbit was quite unhappy, stomping her back feet and then making her way back onto the bed and onto Roman’s lap. As if she thought Roman could make Rand do whatever it was she wanted.

The soup and broth was luke warm at best. Rand could fix that though. She poured the soup into the kettle to heat it and would do the same with the broth. Rand looked around the room and then rummaged in the box of Pipkin’s things. “It’s been so long since we gave her any of her favorite treats I can’t remember where I last saw them.”

Rand