Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in side - sim: Honoring the Ardent

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side - sim: Honoring the Ardent

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in side - sim: Honoring the Ardent
Posted by… suppressed (5) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Klingons were always savage, and maybe it was wrong but Roman hated them. He hoped to never see another Klingon ship in his life. He dreaded the idea that someday he might run into them on the Sentinel. He felt Pipkin’s fur, the little bunny was settled in as close as she could be. He held on to Rand, crying into her shoulder, again. He didn’t want this, he’d rather ignore it like he always did, but that didn’t seem to be an option just then, because whatever he did he couldn’t stop. Finally he let go, his shoulders shaking with his sobs. It was a much needed release of emotions held in far too long, but Roman just felt awful and sad and he wished he could go back and unsee the disks.

~ Roman

Rand wished she could go back and change it. Not give him the disks, not have made the inquiry, that there wasn’t a letter from command attached. She knew he needed to let the grief have it’s way, for a bit. Hiding it was probably causing his sleep problems. As he let go she reached out and held onto his hand. “What can I do? What do you need?”

Rand

Roman squeezed her hand when she held onto his. He wiped the tears off his face, they were making his vision blurry. And all the crying was giving him a headache. He didn’t think there was anything anyone could do, not that would really help. Rand being there with him was enough. At least he wasn’t feeling this way, and alone. So he just hugged her again, shook his head and then lay his head on her shoulder again.

Rand held onto his hand and began to squeeze his hand as she breathed. She recognized the pinched look from the headache. Deep breaths helped. Her mother used to put a vapor rub right under her nose to help, and an icy cold cloth on the back of her neck. She wasn’t going to get up to get those things though,so she just continued to squeeze his hand.

Roman tried to breathe with her, following the rhythm she set by squeezing his hand. It did help - both the headache, a little, and in calming him down. He was still hugging her, his head rested on her shoulder.

Some time later he started to calm down again, and once he’d mostly stopped crying he let her go, still leaning on her, so he could drink some of the tea she’d made for him.

~ Roman

While he sat up to drink his tea, she hugged him once and then got up and moved across the room. She lowered the lights and came back with ice water and two wet cloths. She draped one across the back of his neck and handed him the other. She started another movie, another Librarian, one they hadn’t watched yet, and then settled back next to him.

Rand

Roman didn’t seem like he wanted her to move, but he let her go. Soon she was settled back in by him and there was a new movie started. The icy wet cloth felt nice against the back of his neck. The second he didn’t seem to know what to do with. Swap it with the first one when it got warm, he supposed. He still looked sad and upset but he definitely looked better despite the obvious signs he’d been crying. Once she was settled in, he leaned up against her.

~ Roman

Roman drank the tea and then leaned back against her. His face was flushed, his eyes red, and no doubt burning. She took the second cloth and folded it, “For your eyes.” She draped it across his eyes. Not for long, just enough to take the sting out, and then he could use it to swap out with the other.

He was leaned up against her, and the cool cloth over his eyes soothed the stinging in his eyes from crying. It helped with the heat in the rest of his face a little, too. He felt comfortable and the was getting tired. After a while he took the cloth away from his eyes, swapped it for the one across the back of his neck, and then leaned back against Rand. A little while later, he was dozing off.

Rand dozed off an on most of the night too worried about Roman to sleep. Trying to figure out a way to make it better. Randy would probably tell her to stop. That she could help, but only Roman could make it better. Tomorrow was his day off but knowing Roman he would be in over his head in the labs as soon as he could get there.

Rand

Roman slept hard for the first two or so hours of sleep, and then he was having one of his nightmares. He started to kick in his sleep, tossing and turning, and crying out. Finally he woke with a start, in a cold sweat, looking around the room for several moments before settling back down into bed. His sleep the rest of the night was lighter, and he started to twitch in his sleep again in the early hours of the morning, another nightmare, not as bad as the first, but it was what woke him at 0530.

~ Roman

Rand didn’t attempt to talk to him when the nightmare started. Some times that made it worse. All she could really do was hold him and wait. She was glad that while he’d slept though, she’d replaced the wet clothes, and once he’d settled, she placed one on the back of his neck. Her alarm went off at 0430 as usual but Roman didn’t even notice. He was sleeping quietly for the moment. She didn’t have to run this morning or go to the gym. She did that because she enjoyed it, not because it was required. She got up quietly, leaving Pipkin hunkered down close to him. Unfortunately, unlike Roman, Rand did not have today off. She slipped out quietly to her quarters to get ready for her day. Randy must have slept lightly because when she entered he sat up and looked at her, the answers to whatever questions he would have asked, were clear on her face. He got up, wordlessly and hugged her - no sass this morning - and let her get ready for her day.

She dropped the offensive disks, her PaDD, and tricorder at her office before returning to Roman’s quarters. She sat quietly by the desk, brushing and pinning her hair into a bun. Pipkin wandered over, pawing her leg gently. Rand scooped her up, hugging the bunny a moment before putting her in her cage and feeding her, and refilling her water bottle. When Roman started to twitch, Rand had been attempting to quietly make tea. She put the spoon down and moved back over to him, sitting on the bed, gently rubbing his arm.

Rand

Rand’s movements around the quarters did not wake Roman. When his nightmare finally woke him, he sat upright in bed, then sighed softly. Rand was next to him, he realized, and he turned to look at her, groggily blinking his eyes. “I hope I didn’t wake you,” he said. Then he checked the time. He wasn’t usually up this early, but he wasn’t going back to sleep. He’d forgotten, as usual, that it was meant to be his day off, and he’d rather be in the lab anyway, burying himself in work, like Rand predicted he might do.

~ Roman

“No, my alarm went off an hour ago.” Rand wanted so bad to take it back, all of it. To make it better for him. To stop herself from meddling. It didn’t matter how good her intensions if it caused all this. She wanted to tell him how sorry she was, but he wouldn’t understand. Or maybe then he would realize it was her fault, truly, that she caused this and be angry with her or hate her. Their dinner tray was still untouched on the table. She knew he probably needed to eat. The body burned through a lot of extra calories when highly distressed. She knew first hand.

Roman nodded, hugged her, and then stood and went to the closet to get a fresh uniform. He hated wasting food, real food was always a premium on a starship, but there was nothing to do about the dinner now. It was his fault anyway, for letting himself get so upset. Upset over disks he still could barely bring himself to think about without his eyes welling up. And Rand had to have pulled major favours to get those disks in the first place. He felt bad he couldn’t appreciate such a nice gift. He wanted to get to work. He needed to work.

She also knew Roman preferred to keep things as normal as possible, and they usually had breakfast together. She supposed all she could was ask. “Would you like breakfast? Or tea? I was making tea.”

Rand

“Just the tea, please,” Roman replied, heading into the bathroom to change. A few moments later he was out, freshened up with his hair combed and his fresh uniform spotless as ever. But he was still on ‘autopilot’, just trying to get to the labs so he could get his mind off things with his work.

~ Roman