Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in Side sim: Valentine’s Day with Roman and Rand

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in Side sim: Valentine’s Day with Roman and Rand

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in Side sim: Valentine’s Day with Roman and Rand

(snip)

Between having spent so much time with her, and Randy telling him what to look for, he’d known she wasn’t comfortable when he spotted her in the crowd, so he’d just done what made sense. Finally she relaxed against him and when she spoke again she sounded sleepy. He smiled and put his other arm around her, hugging her. “We can always dance in my quarters. Any time you want.”

~ Roman

She smiled, she liked that. She switched her hands to support Pipkin, and then slipped the other one around Roman, hugging him. “Did you want to do anything else?” She really wasn’t sure if she was feeling up touch, but she would try for Roman. “Maybe a movie?” Assuming she didn’t fall asleep; he could still watch the movie even if she drifted some, right?

Rand

“If you’d like,” Roman replied. He was pretty sure he knew what happened, but he also thought it was worth talking about, so he hesitated and then asked, “Or… do you want to talk about what happened?”

~ Roman

No, nope, she did not want to talk about it. She’d rather go to sleep and pretend like it never happened. Maybe she’d wake up and find out she had dreamed the whole thing. Ugh…that was a a truly depressing thought. If this was a dream it had started out so lovely, but she’d still managed to ruin her dream with her horrid anxiety and panic attacks. Randy would remind her that avoiding talking about it would only make the incident become larger than it was. She breathed deeply as if preparing to sigh. If Roman could be brave enough to talk to her she could try to do the same, couldn’t she? She was safe here, no one else was around, no one to over hear, and Roman wouldn’t judge her. She knew that. She seemed to press closer. “I didn’t anticipate correctly.”

“There were so many people, and they were all pushing into my space, asking questions, commenting, and then more. Faster than I could answer most of them.” That hadn’t been the problem, but it had made her feel overwhelmed. “But I didn’t anticipate for Scott. I know she likes to gossip, but…” Rand paused her breathing hitching slightly. “I thought she would want to talk about everyone else. Who came with whom, who wore what, or even Randy, Morgan, and his dancing.” Not that Rand would have indulged Scott in any of those. “But…but she..” Rand shook, actually hiding her face against him again, her hand bunched in his shirt near her face.

Roman hugged her tighter when she buried her face against him, her fist crumpling his shirt. She was getting so worked up again he was thinking he shouldn’t have asked, but Rand kept going. Scott setting this off made perfect sense. He knew she didn’t mean to, she was just… very over excitable, and had little concept of personal boundaries.

“She wanted to talk about me and you…” Slowly the bombardment of questions came out. They weren’t malicious but extremely personal, but then something shifted. Roman, with his own memories that pulled him in, would realize she wasn’t really in the room with him anymore but seeing something far away, separated by time. Cameras flashing, too many people talking at her at once, questions far too personal, hands holding recorders thrust in her face. She moaned quietly. “I don’t feel good.”

Rand

Slowly, but surely, Rand told him all the (very personal) questions Scott had bombarded her with. Roman wouldn’t have answered them either, but that wasn’t the problem. He recognized the faraway look on her face, unfocused on anything that was actually there, rather seeing something from the past. He hugged her close to him, trying to make her feel better, rubbing her back again. There probably wasn’t anything he could say to make her feel better, or if there was, he didn’t know what it would be, so he just kept hold of her.

~ Roman

Anything Roman said would help, mostly. More the sound of his voice reminding her she wasn’t alone or where she was remembering. The movement of his hand on her back helped anchor her in the present. It took awhile but eventually her hand released his shirt and her breathing became slow and rhythmic. For awhile sleep allowed her to escaped the memories, but only for awhile. She slept fitfully.

Rand