Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side-sim: The Reckoning

(snip)

When the movie ended, Rand was reluctant to get up. Before Kelmao she never stayed all night, she left once Roman was able to sleep and then she had stayed because he was in sickbay and recovering. She stayed next to him for awhile and then a small little sigh escaped, “I…I guess…I should probably go.”

Rand

Roman looked half asleep by the time the movie ended. He was relaxed and comfortable, and he felt really sleepy, but he was trying to keep his eyes open. When she spoke, he seemed to wake back up and he looked at her, surprised. “Go? What for?” Before Kelmao, she always stayed in the chair and by the time he woke up, she was gone. She never stayed. Afterwards she’d stayed in Sickbay with him, because he was recovering. But she’d stayed after that too, and well, Roman liked it that way. Before he forgot and fell asleep, he took the heating pad off and set aside, within reach of the bed.

~ Roman

Rand hadn’t realized Roman was so close to being asleep until after she’d spoken. If she had, she would have just stayed quiet. When he asked ‘what for’ she just stared at him like he should know. Things were back to normal now, or close to it. He didn’t need help moving around anymore, or making sure he took his meds, nor was he having nightmares. It had been a couple weeks since he’d had one or had trouble falling asleep. While she was thinking all this, she got up, fidgeting with stacking the dishes from their meal in order to stop herself from wringing her hands or hiding them behind her back. Roman was familiar with those. “I…I don’t know if I’m supposed to stay. You don’t really need my help and things are mostly back to normal. And… and I never stayed before. That was normal. I never stay after you fall asleep.” Did they have a different normal now? “There is a whole different set of social rules and things I’m supposed to do if we’re living together, or not…What are we doing? If not, then when am I supposed to stay and supposed to leave?”

Rand

She got up and Roman’s arm kind of lingered where it was for a moment, because he didn’t want her to go. She was fidgeting, stacking dishes and though she wasn’t hiding her hands Roman recognized her anxiety. She was going on about what she was supposed to do again. Like she had in her quarters the other day. “When you feel like it,” he answered with a shrug. It really was that simple to him. When she said it, he guessed it was like they were living together but no, they weren’t really, were they? The only thing of hers here was that blanket she’d brought once and then had never ended up making it back. “I like it when you stay here,” he said, and then Roman gave a little sigh and looked down, he didn’t want to think about it, but.. “I… I sleep better. When you’re here. Even when I do wake up, you’re right there and.. I can sleep.”

~ Roman

That did not help Rand at all. It wasn’t Roman’s fault, he had probably never, not even once, wondered what he was supposed to do in any given situation. Her voice was really quiet, she was unstacking and restacking the dishes, again. “But when am I supposed to want to and supposed to not want to?” She was glad she helped him sleep, that she was useful, that he felt better. He liked for her to stay, and she liked staying. “I’m glad you sleep better.” It could be argued that Rand was tired of sleeping in her uniform. The idea of changing in Roman’s quarters made her all kinds of nervous that had nothing to do with her social anxiety, but at the same time she didn’t like walking the corridor in her robe, even though it was just next door. But she also knew if she left and came back she’d talk herself out of coming back because she didn’t know what she was supposed to do, go back or not. Stay all night or not. And maybe they weren’t living together, and she wasn’t sure she was ready for that anyway. There was a seriousness to the situation she didn’t know how to react to either. What she wanted to do and what she was supposed to do were not always the same thing.

Rand