Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in Side sim: The Report Dilemma

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in Side sim: The Report Dilemma

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in Side sim: The Report Dilemma
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
“Can you really do that?” That sounded incredible to Rand. “I mean we could make wild inaccurate speculations, but can you really make solid scientific hypotheticals on how animals or plants will evolve? Doesn’t evolution take thousands of years? Where would you even begin to make a conjecture?” It wasn’t that Rand hadn’t enjoyed science in school, but she’d never had the aptitude for the higher level classes. Then she realized that she was running on about his work. She blushed, and the corner of her mouth twitched, and she squeezed his hand quickly. “Sorry. No work right?…Umm…how old were you when you started to play the violin?”

Rand

“They aren’t guaranteed to be accurate, but it’s an attempt, especially on uninhabited planets, to decide which species might evolve intelligence, or how the ecosystem might shift overtime,” Roman explained after her questions. Then she changed the topic again and squeezed his hand and he smiled. “I was four.”

~ Roman

Four? Rand didn’t even start school till she was 5. She couldn’t imagine having the discipline to be still or even hold a violin without damaging it at 4. “Wow,” she sounded impressed and she was. “At four…I was only worried about being outside and trying to find an orphaned baby bird to raise. I would not have had the patience to learn then.” Playing any instrument took highly developed fine motor skills and those didn’t really begin to develop for another couple years. Rand was impressed and her expression and tone of voice conveyed that.

Rand

Roman shrugged almost uncomfortably. “It was expected.” When he was that young, it hadn’t sounded very good, but he could still learn the basics of the technique, how to hold the instrument and bow. As he got older, it would sound better, and he’d learn more complicated technique. His older brother played too, but when Roman had started getting good at violin, his brother had picked up piano, too, to one-up him.

~ Roman

It was expected? Of a four year old? She could see if he wanted to at that age, but expected? His voice seemed…stiff, but clipped. She’d noticed, over the course of their late night chats, he got like that when he didn’t want or wouldn’t talk about something. She sighed looking around the room, not sure what to do. Rand was hyper aware of not wanting to make someone talk about or do something that was upsetting. Probably because of her own severe anxiety. It was why she kept changing topics, trying to find something that didn’t seem to bother him but it seemed that was everything she thought of other than his work. “I…I didn’t mean to ask about things you don’t want to talk about…that…that seems to be all I keep doing. I didn’t mean to.” She was upset (obvious by the fact she wasn’t looking at him from the corner of her eye or at her lap where she was fidgiting with her skirt) because she had upset him, or she thought she had. She wondered if she should leave. The last thing she wanted to do was upset him so that he couldn’t sleep again.

Rand

Roman shook his head. “That’s not your fault, you’re not psychic.” He hated that there were so many ‘bad’ topics, but it was why he usually didn’t talk about himself at all. It was easier to just leave it in the past, and never bring it up. She was avoiding looking at him again, and she’d started fidgeting with her skirt. He’d come to know the signs she was upset. Was she upset because he didn’t want to talk about it? The only things Rand didn’t like to talk about were her anxiety and acting. Between his family and his friend, there weren’t many personal topics he did like talking about. He felt like he was accidentally pushing her away, making her want to leave. And that was the last thing he wanted. “I’m sorry.”

~ Roman

She looked up at him. “No. Nonono, don’t be. I…I understand, I really do, not wanting or not able to talk about things. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about them. I…I know…that…certain” she was being very careful how she worded what she was saying. Not because she was worried he would be upset with her, but to make sure she was clearly expressing herself, “topics make it hard for you to sleep. I… don’t want to be the cause that those things keep you awake because I was accidentally insensitive. I…I want to help not make it so you can’t sleep. Umm..uh…I mean at least not make it worse anyway.” She couldn’t handle her own bad topics, how could she possibly help him? And suddenly her chest hurt making her breath catch very softly, not in a dangerous way - just panic, at the possibility that she was hurting him, making things worse. That was why she thought she should leave, she didn’t want to but she would if it helped Roman. But she was still holding his hand tightly.

Rand

“You do help,” Roman said. He took a breath and his grip on her hand tightened. “When you showed me my reports, I hadn’t slept well in some weeks. It’s only because of you and your tea that I have been doing better.” He would’ve been found unfit for duty. Or worse, endangered someone. Rand had even talked him into letting her tell Randy about it. “I don’t think there’s a way you could make things worse.” And thankfully, his family did not keep him up at night. He didn’t like to talk about it, but it wasn’t the cause of that problem, anyway. It was the ship attack that did that all on its own.

~ Roman

Rand knew that it was the Ardent and Jay that kept him up at night. She also knew that Jay had been much more than just a friend since they were kids. So in a distant way she knew it was possible that those childhood memories could be connected to Jay and then remind him of the attack. That’s how her mind went when her anxiety kicked in, jumping from topic to topic in far-fetched but connected ways. She turned her hand in his, so that her fingers were laced with his, rather than him just holding onto hers. “I knew something was wrong when it wasn’t just once or twice. You are hate paper work but you are still very precise and meticulous. If it had been anyone else I don’t think I would have thought twice about it. It was just so unlike you.” She breathed deeply letting out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. “I’m glad I could help.” He had told her his hobbies, “So when not sipping my tea and listening to stories of a horribly precious Scottish child, what do you do to relax, to unwind?” It was probably one of his hobbies, but she was curious what helped him relax on a normal basis, or just forget about all the responsibility for awhile.

Rand