Posted by Lieutenant Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in And The Tony Goes To

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in And The Tony Goes To

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in And The Tony Goes To
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

“Scott and the others will be reprimanded, both for wasting time and dragging you here…” Roman said, covering his irritation with his ensigns. He realized that they must have been well-intentioned, everyone liked having Rand in the lab, though it was entirely the wrong thing to do. He didn’t understand how being tricked into coming into the lab made Rand so upset, all he knew was that she was upset, and that somehow, his crew had caused it. “You haven’t done anything wrong,” he added. In fact, if one of the animals had been unwell, he found himself glad she cared enough to drop what she was doing and come.

She shook her head ‘no’ but that only made her more dizzy. She didn’t want to get Scott and the others in trouble. He asked what happened, she was just explaining why she was there. And they’d said come back to the lab. But she had already readjusted her schedule after she’d talked with Alden…Cmdr Alden last night. She had absolutely no influence over the man. Why would they say that? They looked at her like she was dense when she suggested they talk to Randy....no....NO....They thought he LIKED her! The sound of him talking to her again pulled her back to the present. She hadn’t done anything wrong, no she hadn’t…oh good…he wasn’t upset with her again.

Speaking of what she was doing, he noticed then that she was not in uniform. Instead, she wore yoga pants and a shirt that looked just barely long enough. It was… odd, in a way to see her wearing something other than her uniform shirt and black pants. But he wrote it off as just different. Her current outfit was a far cry from the uniforms they all wore.

~ Lt Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

She peeked up at him, oh he was concerned. There was no telling what she looked like sitting on that floor. It honestly didn’t surprise her that he was concerned. Cmdr Alden cared about the people on the crew. He just didn’t like wasting time with frivolity when there was work to do. She understood that. Oh what was she supposed to tell him? She could lie and say she hadn’t eaten and then had gone for her run…sudden drop in blood sugar causes similar symptoms, but then he’d make her go to the med bay and they would know it wasn’t that…

By this time all the other NEs had left the lab and it was just them.

Yeoman Rand

Roman couldn’t tell what was up with her. She seemed distressed, and she seemed unwilling to tell him what else had had happened. He wondered if the others had said something mean to her, perhaps. “They weren’t giving you trouble, were they?” He asked her. Carpenter was known to be a little… harsh at times, didn’t know his audience with jokes. Maybe he’d gotten them all in on something that went too far. But unless Rand told him, he’d have no proof of that.

It bothered him for her to be so upset, especially because it didn’t seem like anything he could do helped. Finally he asked, “Do you want to go to your quarters? Perhaps your brother is there?” He knew Rand was pretty close to Randy, and perhaps he could offer her more comfort… a fact that thoroughly irritated Roman, he found, for reasons he could not discern. But if it would help, he was willing to do it.

~ Lt Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

Rand breathed slow in and out. She was quiet for several minutes trying to decide what to tell him. They weren’t being mean, at all, they just overwhelmed her and she didn’t know how to respond. And Scott…she groaned, moaned maybe? Scott had recognized her. How? Well if Rand was being honest it was surprising that no one had recognized her before now. She’d just worked really hard to avoid socializing so no one really looked at her.

Finally deciding on speaking, rather than silence and condemning the poor lab team to getting in trouble over nothing…She spoke so softly and it would be obvious she was embarrassed and apprehensive but resigned to being harshly judged. “No, Cmdr. They weren’t giving me trouble. I…I…” and if possible her voice got even quieter, “suffer with extreme social anxiety…I got overwhelmed, but it’s not their fault.” She did want to go to her quarters, to get away before anyone came back. But Randy was working over night in the medical bay and Alden, oddly enough, was very calming to be around. He wasn’t pestering her non stop or trying to drag her all over the place before she was certain she could stand without falling again. She was, oddly enough, despite the full blown panic attack, comfortable right there.

Yeoman Rand

His legs getting tired from crouching, Roman instead sat on the ground. It was quite clear that she was embarrassed by the information and he didn’t want her to feel like he thought badly of her. Everyone had their problems and despite hers she did her job remarkably well. And he was glad the science team wasn’t purposefully at fault. He did like to think the best of his officers.

He considered for a moment how to reply, it was a condition he didn’t fully understand. “My lab is always open to you,” he said at last, “You do your best. You don’t let it interfere with your duties. That’s the best anyone can do.” It was the best he could come up with to say, and yet, he felt, not enough. But he hadn’t any idea what else to say so he left it at that.

~ Lt Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

She heard the soft rustle of fabric and the gentle scuff of leather soles on the metal flooring, and she knew that he had sat down near her rather than crouching in front of her. She knew that meant she’d been sitting there for awhile. Could this get any more humiliating? Not only had she drawn an excessive amount of attention to herself Alden was sitting with her, on the floor, instead of focusing on his work, on the animals. Who were all calm now that the lab was quieter and they weren’t reacting to Rand.

She smiled softly down at the floor. He sounded like Randy, but she didn’t think either of them would appreciate the comparison. Even though she meant it as a compliment. His words seemed to need a response but she didn’t know what she was supposed to say. ‘Thank you’ for being kind to her? Or she was sorry for disrupting the lab? Both reflected how she was feeling but one thing Rand had learned was that saying how she was feeling was not always the correct response in a situation. Finally she lifted her head, noticing the lab was blissfully empty. She didn’t look at him, not directly anyway. “I don’t know if I’m supposed to say thank you or I’m sorry.”

Yeoman Rand

“There isn’t anything to be sorry for,” said Roman. He had noticed, it seemed Rand was frequently apologizing when there didn’t seem to be anything that needed apologizing for. It wasn’t her fault the science team dragged her here and it wasn’t her fault they’d overwhelmed her. It wasn’t annoying or anything, just… one of her quirks.

It was still quite early and he stifled a small yawn as he sat quietly, contemplating what else to say. He decided to just wait for her to say something, listening to the slight sounds the animals around them made as they moved about their enclosures.

~ Lt Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

Rand’s thoughts were exactly the opposite. She found her anxiety annoying and disruptive and overwhelming just for itself. It wasn’t the lab team’s fault she got overwhelmed it was hers. She could make the argument that it was their fault with their implication that…that…no she wasn’t going there again, she’d panic again. And she absolutely would not think about how she felt if it could be true.

She could also blame it on that award encounter up on deck 4, but that wasn’t fair. It was no one’s fault but her own. Though she’d been told for years the anxiety and reaction wasn’t her fault. The only thing she could control was how she dealt with it after.

She heard him yawn and she looked over at him. She knew why she was up this early. She always was up this early. Then a horrifying thought occured to her..they didn’t call him down to the lab too to try and…oh please no! Maybe it was the slightly less formal conversation the night before, maybe she was just trying to find something to focus on other than her panic, but the question was out before she could stop herself, “Wh…what has you up so early?”

Yeoman Rand

No one had said anything to Roman that could indicate what the ensigns seemed to think, and he had no idea anyone might think that. Her question was easy to answer nonchalantly, oftentimes when he hadn’t anything else to do, he came to the lab. And being up at what on earth would be pre-dawn hours, counted as not having anything else to do. So, he simply gave a small shrug and said “I couldn’t sleep. Rather work than lay there and do nothing.”

In reality, as happened more frequently from time to time for him, when he slept, he’d find himself back on the Ardent, drifting aimlessly through space, desperately trying to call for help with damaged communication equipment before life support failed. He’d rather be tired and working than reliving the experience in his dreams.

~ Lt Cmdr Alden, XO/CSO

“Nothing is more intolerable than idleness (ooc: Charles Darwin).” Rand actually smiled, not a polite friendly on duty smile, but a genuine smile. She liked to work, it made sense, it gave structure to her interactions and gave her purpose. It might not fulfill the dreams she’d had or her future or make use of her talent, but it did give her focus and purpose.

Work, she had work to do. What time was it? She glanced up sharply looking for clock. 0600, “I’m late!” She launched to feet, and stumbled - getting up so fast bringing back the dizziness.

Yeoman Rand