Posted by Lieutenant Commander Jarred Alindor (Chief Engineer) in Kalani’s Quarters

Posted by Ensign Kalani Kāne (Scientist) in Kalani’s Quarters

<snip>

*** Present Day ***

“And… here we are. I have been keeping up with my mom and my dad. Despite my past with my dad… I am somewhat eager to have him here a few days and Lizzie… well i am scared. She didn’t seemed thrilled at being here and I can tell I am not her first choice as I thought. I just… I can’t keep bucking all my past and ignoring what is in front of me. I am a dad, and… hopefully still your boyfriend. This effects us both but, with or without you I need to make things right. I need to show my daughter I care but I know nothing about children or raising small girls. Like, at all.” Jarred said, the last part seemed almost pleading for help as he stared at Kalani.

Alindor, CE

“Why would you not be my boyfriend,” Kalani said wrinkling up her nose a bit annoyed. She loved Jarred and nothing would ever change that. Not a passel of unknown kids or them being transferred to a rock that was the farthest possible distance from the bright spot in the universe. He hadn’t asked her to marry him and frankly that conversation was way in the future but the point was Kalani saw a future with Jarred. His comment about doing it with or without her was not exactly directed at her. He was not giving her an ultimatum. Jarred was simply explaining the way life was going to change.

“I don’t want to loose you for one second. I love you and, my life changed six months ago. I learned my father was dying and I was becoming a full time father. On top of that, I meet this most wonderful crazy science officer who I also fell in love with. I hid this from you not sure if you would stick around for Lizzie coming to even matter. Here we are though, six months in and… I can’t picture my life with out you, but I also understand this might be a lot for some women. I have to be a father first right now but that doesn’t mean for a second I want to loose what we have, in fact I am hoping it grows.” Jarred said as he reached over as he grabbed her hand, pulling it to his lips he gave her a soft kiss.

“I mean I do get things are going to have to change a lot when she arrives. No more impromptu slumber parties, less PDA except in that small closet storeroom thing off the back of the engine room,” she gave him a small smile. It was a bit forced as so many thoughts filled her head. Kalani had promised Jarred that she would keep a mental list of questions. That list was slowly materializing into a journal. This was not the time to add to the situation. It was time to subtract so that what they were dealing with was as small a situation and adjustment as possible.

“I know you guys are going to need to find a rhythm both with and without me. I am good with that,” she said feeling slightly icky as she spoke the words. She always felt this way when what she was saying wasn’t entirely what she felt. “I will be here through every step of the way okay? Whatever you need I am your girl. All you have to do is ask because I want to be here for you.” Kalani hoped her words sounded sincere. They were. It was just the other nagging thought filling her head that she was struggling to ignore.

Ensign Kalani Kane science

“Thank you love, I know this will be a change but you are used to adventures right? I mean what’s so different from a child and a fox?” Jarred said jokingly as he looked at Ralph as he trundled around in his sofa.

Alindor, CE

“The fact that I can stick Ralph in a cage or beat him with a newspaper and not go to jail,” Kalani looked at him with the same bewildered expression she had when Jarred began this conversation. “He also doesn’t whine to the CMO that I don’t feed him on time every night occasionally or have a parent-teacher conference indicating he is falling behind on math. He is also a guy so that means no hormonal rush about insane things like what vegetable we are eating for dinner or how a makeup palette is the best thing on the planet when it is created by some no-name Holovidbyme star,” Kalani rambled a bit. She knew the point Jarred was trying to make but still so many points of his story begged her to ask for clarification however now was not the time. Time actually was the real issue.

“She is going to be six, not sixteen. I have a few years to let her know I am not a completely useless father. She’s a good girl… she never gave my parents any grief but… I haven’t seen her in almost three years, least not in person. I holovid called her, send messages. I wasn’t completely absent but… I didn’t step foot back there and I never once set up a time to come back here. What… what if she hates me? Why shouldn’t she?” he said softly as he felt his throat get dry as a hard gulp could be heard.

“Jarred…Jarred,” she said spinning around on the couch as she watched him move about the room. Jarred seemed to be calm as he talked but his roaming about the room showed he was a bit nervous. “I am the one that is supposed to move about aimlessly,” she teased standing up and walking over to him. “How about I give you something to take your mind off things,” Kalani suggested wrapping her arms around his waist. “Soon we won’t be able to act like teenagers. We will have to be responsible adults and right now I am feeling a bit like I am sixteen instead of twenty six. So wanna pretend we have an hour before our parents get home because soon we will only have an hour before your parents come home,” she let out a small laugh and put her head on his chest. Maybe the joke wasn’t funny with all that Jarred shared but part of her did. Looking up at him she rose on her toes and let her lips brush his. It was not a real kiss but far more than she shared with anyone else on the crew. “I don’t care what we do really as long as I get to do it with you.”

Ensign Kalani Kane, science

Jarred smiled and couldn’t help but laugh as he held her close. “You know, acting like a teenager is kind of how I am in the current mess. I wasn’t that much younger than you at the time either… so maybe we take precautions otherwise in 9 months Lizzie has a sibling neither of us planned on. Though… that said… well… it would be a cute baby.” he said, feeling a bit awkward as he stood there.

Kids had never been on Jarred’s agenda with Lilly, and Elizabeth is literally the outcome of what every man is told is the worst thing that can happen when you have sex. Still, he couldn’t help but feel different at the same time. It had been 8 years since he meet Lilly and his life began to turn upside down, but right here in this moment with Kalani in his arms he felt at peace. Whatever Lilly was, a rebound from Beth his fiance’ who left him when he was 19 and someone he often suspected Lilly named Elizabeth after to taunt him, or a start that ended in flames he knew what he wanted right now.

“I am lucky, not many men can have the love of their lives after so many attempts from others and themselves to burn their own life down. Plus, I get a chance to talk to my father, something I never thought I wanted. Lastly, I get to fix the biggest mistake I ever made which was to let my parents take Elizabeth from me when I should have brought her back to the Saracen and learned I can’t let my past destroy my future.” Jarred said as he leaned in, kissing Kalani deeply as he let all the thoughts fall silent, his love was genuine and the taste of her lips caused intoxication in him as he continued to kiss her fully.

Alindor, CE

“Woah ay I av a kest un,” Kalani began to speak right in the middle of the kiss. It took Jarred a second to stop the kiss. Probably because he never had someone decide to begin a conversation ten seconds after suggesting the start a carnal conversation that required only minimal verbiage.

“I can’t do this,” she said looking up at him. “Remember that mental list I was going to make and put a pin in it for later discussion. Well, I am really confused on one point,” Kalani confessed. “I know we have never really gotten past anything further in our future than making dinner reservations two weeks in advance but until now I have never worried about anything two weeks in advance.” Kalani felt her chest tightening and a queasy feeling deep in her tummy. Darn it Jarred. Why did you have to be that detailed in your story.

Moving away from Jarred, Kalani sat on the couch and looked at him. She needed to get some space between them so that they both could think clearly. Rubbing the top of her thighs, Kalani used the momentary diversion to gather her thoughts. “Okay first off I am supporting you one hundred percent in getting Lizzie back in your life. I will say though what was more shocking than hearing your story about how you got from there to her was how many times you said you did not want kids? Do you know how many times you said kids were not on the table or some variation of that? Enough that it was not just a one-time thing,” Kalani asked Jarred looking at him with a serious expression. “Then you say I would make cute babies. Do you mean babies with you or in general? I know now is not the best time to bring this up but I need a firm yes or no on this. Will you have more kids in the future?” The longer Kalani had been with Jarred the more she had been fantasizing about their future together. How long until he would ask her to marry him? Where they would get married? How soon until she met his family past a smattering of unplanned impromptu conversations via the holonet? How many kids they would have? What kind of father would he be? The last two questions now seemed to hold far more importance than any of the other ones in her mind.

Ensign Kalani Kane science