Posted by Lieutenant Sheleah Ruby (Diplomatic Officer / CNS) in Side Sim - CNC Office - Walking Memory Lane ATTN Ruby on USS Saracen

Posted by 2nd Lieutenant Laju Eghimea (Security Officer) in Side Sim - CNC Office - Walking Memory Lane ATTN Ruby on USS Saracen

Posted by Lieutenant Sheleah Ruby (Diplomatic Officer / CNS) in Side Sim - CNC Office - Walking Memory Lane ATTN Ruby on USS Saracen
Posted by… suppressed (11) by the Post Ghost! 👻
Walking Memory Lane
Office of Lieutenant Sheleah Ruby
Diplomatic Officer/Counselor

It had been nearly two weeks since the events of her tragic medical check in. 2nd Lieutenant Laju Eghimea paced within the anti-chamber of Councilor Ruby’s office. Her arms were crossed around her midriff thinking back to the events of the past month or so. So much of it was a blur to her, so much of it was confusing. It was like she had woken up from one nightmare to another.

After the events of the medical check-in, the Saracen had placed a rather routine information request to the Bajoran Government. The response was something that Eghimea had not expected. They had confirmed the transfer which had been placed by the now late Colonel Zado Fanuca. The fact that the late Colonel was Eghimea’s grandfather was a piece of information she wasn’t ready to share yet.

The confirmation included the information regarding the accident within the Pycok System. An event which she was responsible for and had caused the deaths of her brother and father. Which still kept her up at nights, despite doing everything in her power to overcome it. The information contained all that Star Fleet would need regarding a new officer coming aboard. What had surprised her was the lack of information or reports regarding the trial.

Still, she couldn’t worry about events back home. She was ordered to make regular visits to the ship’s Doctor Feels prior to being cleared for duty. If she couldn’t secure the trust of the Councilor, her fate would remain up in the air. Worse, she could be sent home in disgrace.

Pulling her arms tighter around her midriff, she felt sick once more. It wasn’t like this alien woman had treated her wrong or done anything to cause her fear. In fact, for an alien, she was, well pretty nice. But it was the complete lack of control over her life, over her fate that caused her nerves to be wracked.

She focused on her breathing and her training. Her father and brother taught her well enough to resist Cardassian torture. Once more she frowned, she couldn’t do that. She needed this alien to see that she wasn’t crazy. Sadly, she herself wasn’t completely sure of her own sanity. At least not just yet. Eghimea thought of what Doctor Knight had said that she had suffered a side effect from some drug she had taken.

Looking around the room, the alien decor made her feel uneasy. She felt alone, among these aliens. The only other Bajoran on the ship refused to even speak to her. Because of the events of her check-in, she wasn’t even allowed to carry her weapons. Though she could understand why they had taken them from her. It didn’t help with the fact that she felt naked without them. Closing her eyes, she could remember the gift wrapping and even the little pink and red ribbon that was on the box that contained her blaster. Her father’s words echoed in her memory, ‘you’re a big girl now, Eghimea. One day you will need this to protect your family when the Cardassians return.’ Searching the room, she wondered if she was being watched.

She let out a sigh of frustration as she ran her hands through her short cut brown hair. Dropping her hands, she turned and walked over to a nearby chair. She half flopped and half set down, “nothing makes sense.” Her voice low and regretful.

It was true, nothing was making sense. She was without a doubt one of the best pilots in the StarGuard. She had nerves of steel, and yet now she was anxious just waiting to see a Doctor Feels. She was a leader among her cadets, and yes sure she had some issues with arrogance. But now she felt as if she was always being watched.

“It’s worse than waking to a nightmare,” she said softly leaning forward in her chair. “It’s like waking into someone else’s life.” Once more, she ran her hands over her hair while letting out a long sigh.

Sheleah didn’t mean to walk in on Eghimea’s private thoughts but, since the woman had voiced them aloud, she decided to answer.

“No, I’m pretty sure this is your life. We just need to make a little sense of it now don’t we? My apologies for being a bit behind schedule, I had to stop at home and pick up this guy.” she said leaning down to scoop up the large spotted cat that was walking beside her on the leash.

Eghimea spotted the small furry creature and frowned just slightly, “I will never understand the fascination with bringing animals into space.” Her voice was low and lacked any sense of disrespect or disregard. She spoke in a simple plain yet honest tone.

A few days after joining the Saracen, Sheleah had started letting Rex spend a few hours every day in the office with her. She didn’t like the thought of him all alone in her quarters for hours on end and, truthfully, she missed him.

Lacking clearance to do anything, or even a future from her perspective, Eghimea had plenty of time on her hands. There were days where she felt more like a prisoner in one of the fanciest prisons in the galaxy. Then there were days where she felt like the boredom was her punishment. To keep herself from going, further, insane she took up reading about these humans. She only knew what she had been taught, and that wasn’t much. So, with little else to do, reading about them seemed like a wise choice for her.

She really did want to make friends. To show these people that, despite what had happened, she could be trusted. That she could still be an asset, even if she didn’t truly believe that herself.

“Would you like to step into my parlor?” she asked Eghimea.

• Sheleah, CNS/DO

Eghimea ears perked at the statement, as her memory went into overdrive. She could remember sitting in her chair reading poems of these people. She pushed back the endless complaining of her new roommate. A petty woman who never seemed happy, or willing to clean up after herself. Pushing aside the negative memory of her roommate, she focused on the reference that Sheleah had just made.

She smiled softly hoping her offer would be warmly accepted. “Would Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever I did spy,” she said slightly quoting the poem that had been written by Mary Howitt.

2nd Lieutenant Laju Eghimea

Sheleah laughed and lead them in.

“Oh that’s very good! Well, sit down, relax, make yourself comfortable.” she said fussing about with Rex for a little bit.

There was a cat bed in one corner of Sheleah’s office and she deposited Rex there after taking of his harness and leash. He, however, had other plans. He hopped form the bed and followed his mama, climbing up into her lap as she sat down. This made Sheleah readjust the chair and resettle them both.

“I think people bring animals into space because it reminds them of home more than holos or even food but, that’s just my thoughts on the subject. So, how have you been doing these last two weeks?” she asked.

• Sheleah, CNS/DO

Eghimea followed the short blond-haired alien into her ‘parlour’. The meaning of that poem suddenly becoming crystal clear to the nervous Bajoran. During her time aboard, she had read up on the many animals that these humans often associated with and found that the Felis catus to be one of the least desirables. But that was a more personal opinion than anything of solid fact.

As Sheleah continued to speak Eghimea scanned the room. Her eyes carefully taking in every detail. From the decorations on the walls to the items that had taken up prominently displayed as points of pride. Eghimea had been taught from her early age to search for the details and pay attention. So, she listened carefully to the words that were being spoke, while her eyes took in the room around her.

‘How have I been doing,’ she heard the woman ask her. Her first words were a lie, “I have been good.” Sadly, she couldn’t catch the lie before it slipped past her tongue.

She turned her eyes to those blue green eyes. She frowned as she finally took a set across from the woman, “sorry, it’s more of an auto answer. Everyone who sees me asks me the same question. I can see in their eyes,” she said holding direct eye contact with each passing word, “they really don’t care when they ask as they move from place to place. It was a strange lesson I have picked up during my two weeks so far.”

She shrugged as she could see in the alien’s eyes that she really did want to know, “There are times I feel completely alone. There is another Bajoran on the ship, but he won’t say two words to me. Though in a way, I am grateful that your universal translator won’t translate certain words.” She smiled, “I guess more out of decency, then any malfunction.”

“I have not seen my father’s blade since the whole sick bay debacle,” she leaned back holding that eye contact. “Don’t get me wrong, I hold no ill opinion about it. Had this occurred on my own ship, I am sure my brother would have taken the same steps. So, I understand. It’s just, I feel naked without them.”

For the first time since she started speaking to the woman, her eyes drifted from Sheleah’s eyes to the woman’s left hip. “I have noticed that hardly anyone here is armed,” she stated as an observation as her eyes returned to Sheleah’s once more. “While I have noticed that there are what could only be cleverly hidden weapons lockers throughout the ship, less than ten percent of the ship is armed at any given moment. Do you not fear surprise attacks,” she asked with general curiosity.

2nd Lieutenant Laju Eghimea

Sheleah watched Eghimea as she took in the room with practiced ease. Sheleah deduced that she had probably been doing that for quite some time and it had probably come in quite handy.

“I don’t think we fear, or expect, a surprise attack but we are acutely aware that it’s a possibility in our day to day lives. Not everybody is as comfortable with weapons as it seems you are. I do hope you are able to get your father’s blade back at some point. As far as when people ask about you, I don’t think they’re not being genuine, I think it’s because they don’t know you and are still trying to make sense of past events.”

Eghimea listened carefully as her eyes remained locked on Sheleah’s. The mere idea of not being comfortable with weapons confused her. It was even more perplexing coming from someone who was part of a military force such as Star Fleet. Still, she wasn’t disrespectful or insulting in her reaction. She ensured to keep a calm and steady posture while listening. She knew that the many races viewed conflict and weapons wildly differently from one another. With a nod, she accepted this woman’s view and was prepared to move on.

Sheleah took a moment to shift Rex. She had finally gotten her office decorated in a manner she was comfortable with. Rex’s bed was in the right hand corner next to her desk which was small and functional. There were several comfortable chairs, that could be moved around the room, and a small table for larger groups. Hanging in the back left corner of her office was a set of windchimes, done in a mirror finish, that had inscribed, in several different languages, ‘Broken pieces shine.’. She had taken that as her motto and it had served her career path well.

• Sheleah, CNS/DO

Then came the comment about past events. Eghimea shifted nervously as her mind ran through the broken memories. There were black spots in her memory that made her uncomfortable. It was something she had never experienced before and truthfully; she was scared to even talk about it.

Instead, her mind shifted back to the conversation about weapons. She pressed her fears and nervousness aside as she remembered happier days. “My father used to joke that my first toy wasn’t a doll. That it was a Phase-Disruptor Rifle,” she said with a smile and hint of humor in her voice. “Of course, that wasn’t the truth. I was raised just like any other girl. I had dolls and other toys. I was just taught at a very young age how to shoot. I wasn’t as good as my brother or the other older kids.” There was a hint of pride in her eyes and smile as she spoke, “though I was easily on their level.”

“The Phaser that was,” she paused for a moment as she considered her next words carefully, “collected in the sick bay. That was a gift, given to me by my instructor when I turned thirteen. I remember how proud my father was.”

She had planned to explain how it was a big celebration for the entire village, then suddenly felt foolish. As if this woman cared about her thirteenth birthday party. She shifted, “I am sorry,” she said softly then added, “I didn’t mean to ramble.”

2nd Lieutenant Laju Eghimea.

Sheleah listened to, and watched, Eghimea carefully. It was only natural that she hold things back. Hopefully they would be able to work through some of them together.

Eghimea shifted again, though this time it was out of more discomfort regarding the conversation than anything else. She had never been really good at interacting with other races. It wasn’t that she thought little of them, quite the contrary. She had often be intrigued by them. This was even truer for the many races of the Federation. No, her inability to interact with them was more personal for her. It was just that she always felt judged within their eyes.

As her eyes remained focused on this one alien sitting across from her, Eghimea felt that she was different. She seemed genuine and well, more, friendly.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. You’re here to ramble and I’m here to listen. Your father’s opinion meant a lot didn’t it? I know my father’s certainly did.”

Eghimea nodded, “It did, Ma’am.” She tried to hold on to that military decorum that her father had taught her so well. “It wasn’t just coming from a family like mine, but his respect in general meant the world to me.” Her words echoed the pride and reverence of her heart. “My mother passed away during my birth,” hidden to all but the highly trained observer was a deep sense of remorse.

Eghimea’s eyes shifted down to her hands as she leaned forward slightly. She watched her fingers move over each other, as her memories shifted to her childhood. They were bittersweet memories of her father, her brother and herself. She remembered community events and the other children with their mothers. Her heart ached over the memories of growing up without a mother.

She hadn’t meant to fall silent as her mind wondered down the rabbit hole of these memories. Momentarily lost in her own thoughts, she remembered how she had often wondered what kind of relationship she would have had with her late mother. Eghimea wondered if her mother would have been proud of the woman her daughter had grown in to.

Without thinking, her lips curled downward in to a slight frown. She knew that her mother would have been disappointed in the failure her daughter had become. As the emotion took hold, there was no hiding the shame that seeped to the surface of her face. Despite her best efforts, the memories of the accident unfolded in her mind. Once more that horrible holo-vid drama began a new to the mind’s eyes.

The panic, fires and yelling echoed through the haze of her memories. There was a great sense of guilt that washed over her. Guilt over what she had caused, guilt over surviving while all others had died. Guilt at the shame she had brought to her community, family and friends. She bore the guilt like a weight around her neck, threatening to drag her under at any moment. Worse was her father’s biting words, ‘how can you keep getting it wrong!’

Forcing herself to sit upright once more, she continued trying to push back those memories. “I know it was hard on him,” she said referring to her father. “Balancing service within the Militia and raising two children had to be hard for him. That was until they kicked him out,” There was bitterness in her voice at that last statement. “All he ever wanted of us,” she said referring to her brother and herself, “was that we served Bajor with the same honor and bravery as everyone else in our family. To heed the wisdom of the Prophets and Emissary.”

Sheleah remembered navigating her academy years, and the years shortly after, assisting her father but not quite being ambassador material.

• Sheleah, CNS/DO

Eghimea hadn’t realized that she was still allowing her fingers to fidget as her mind tried to force the memories at bay. Her brother’s words echoed, “you can do this, find the pattern!” She frowned deeper not realizing that she had spoken the words in a whisper. The words confused her and didn’t make any sense. She hadn’t remembered him saying these words, at least not to her. And yet they still echoed in her memories and she didn’t know why.

2nd Lieutenant Laju Eghimea

Sheleah let Eghimea ramble. With some clients she noticed letting thoughts free form was better than a directed interview and that seemed to be working for the moment.

“What pattern?” she asked.

• Sheleah, CNS/DO

Further Eghimea delved into the wormhole of this mystery, the more visibly bewildered she appeared. Her eyes darted from left to right as if rapidly reading or viewing something while her mind raced. She was trying to find the memory of when or where Breeje had said that phrase. Part of her mind demanded that he had indeed said this to her, while the other part couldn’t find a memory of it. It wasn’t till a few moments when the alien’s words finally sunk in.

“Wha,” she mumbled slowly forcing her mind back to the moment. “Sorry ma’am,” she said softly as her eyes returned to Sheleah’s once more. “It is nothing, just,” she paused as if trying to decide to tell the woman or not. “I think I forgot something my brother had once said to me,” she said airing on the side of restrained information. She figured that would be the safest path, at least until she could truly trust this alien. It dawned on her that her choice of answer might have been less restrained than she had hoped for. She frowned at the sudden realization of her mistake.

2nd Lieutenant Laju Eghimea

Sheleah shifted positions and let Rex down. He padded around the room, sniffed at Eghimea’s shoe, then climbed into bed and proceeded to give himself a bath.

Eghimea eyes slowly followed the strange furry little creature. She knew what the creature was from her readings, but this was the first time she had seen one in the flesh. As it sniffed her foot, she shifted it slightly to allow the creature to do as it pleases. It was a slip of a mask, revealing a kindhearted person beneath.

“Do you have a lot of issues with remembering things your brother said? I find it can be very distressing when people that are improtant to us say something and it gets lost in our memory.”

• Sheleah, CNS/DO

It was Sheleah’s words that brought her eyes back to the lovely blond alien. She listened carefully and frowned as the meaning of the words were translated through the Universal Translator. Eghimea shook her head, “no, not me.” Her words hung in the air between them before she continued, “I remember everything,” she confessed. “Growing up, the other kids used to call me Tricorder because I could recall every little detail,” she half smiled. Though there was no joy or happiness in that smile. Instead, the tear down her cheek revealed the pain and turmoil that was just below the surface.

Drawing in a deep breath and slowly letting it slip out through her partially parted lips. ‘There was no turning back now,’ she thought as she leaned back in her chair. Her shoulders slumped in defeat, “that is what has been,” she started as her fingers went back to fidgeting. “The single most terrifying thing about all of this,” she changed up her pervious statement.

“I have never experienced anything I can’t remember,” her eyes slipped down to her fingers as she watched them crawl up to her forearms. She could see the slight white tracks her fingernails were making. It hurt but nowhere near as much as what she was saying now. “It is like someone, or something had violated me in a way that I could never possibly imagine or comprehend. And now, I am left trying to piece things back together.”

“I have been able to narrow down the black parts of my memory from just days before and the day I had arrived aboard the Saracen,” she said softly as small bits of red joined those white tracks down her arm. “The blurred memories, like at the shuttle bay or in medical were bad enough. But then there are those entire moments I can’t remember at all. And this is where the nightmares begin,” her voice trailed off leaving the air between them hollow like how she felt inside.

She opened her mouth to continue, to speak about the dreams, but nothing came out. She closed her mouth as she watched a new track of lines being drawn down her arms by her fingernails. She couldn’t bring herself to speak about the dreams. Her voice was held by fear, and that fear refused to surrender.

2nd Lieutenant Laju Eghimea

“We can talk about the dreams in a few days or in the middle of the night if you just need somebody to talk to. I’m always on call for things like that.

Eghimea shifted uncomfortably. She knew she hadn’t mentioned dream to the alien woman. Yet, SHE had brought up the very thing she was guarding. Her mind ran through all that she knew about these humans, then it dawned on her. ‘Damnit,’ she cursed herself. There was a federation member race that explains her uncanny senses. ‘Betazoid!’ she thought as her mind ran through what she knew of the telepathic race.

Now, as far as your memories go, there are some very good treatments that can help with recall. If you’re interested, Dr. Knight and I can most definitely assist you with that. We can start out as gently, or as aggressively, as you like.”

Reeling from the revelation that the alien she had been so chatty with was a telepath, Eghimea just shook her head. Doing her best to try to shield her thoughts from the alien woman as she spoke, “nothing personal against Dr. Knight, but our last encounter didn’t end very well.” She paused for a moment then slumped her shoulders in regret, “I really don’t think she would be willing to help me in that regard.” Her voice dropped to just above a mumble, “not that I would blame her. After what I have heard going around the ship, I really messed things up there.”

Sheleah tapped a button on her console and the chimes in the left corner of her office began to softly sound causing the shards of mirror to shimmer as they did so.

• Sheleah, CNS/DO

Her eyes shifted slightly before returning to Sheleah’s. She felt guilt over what had happened in the Sick Bay. Her own memory of those event was spotty at best, which caused her even more concern. She frowned again as she thought, ‘who am I kidding, this woman has probably already read me completely.’ The wave of foolishness that hit her only added to her sense of guilt and made her feel even worse.

2nd Lieutenant Laju Eghimea