Posted by Lieutenant Sheleah Ruby (Diplomatic Officer / CNS) in Clearing Mental Cobwebs (Tag CNS)

(snip)

Brenna shook her head slightly before answering. She could make up a story, but a glance at her service record would show her early years of service were mostly redacted.
“When graduation ceremonies were over, there was a Cmdr from SFI waiting for me and the other newly graduated Intel ensigns. Gave me 16 hours to set my affairs and report for assignment. Anything more than that is above your security clearance. After that I moved from assignment to assignment.”

Atoded, CoS

There was no reason for Sheleah to accept that answer for the moment. Waving around diplomatic clearances on a first date, as it were, would set a very bad precedent but, if it became necessary, she would figure out a way to handle it.

“That must have been quite a situation for you. Do you feel you were emotionally prepared?” she asked.

• Sheleah, CNS/DO

“No, not at all. I don’t feel like it was a failing of my instructors or the psychologists that spoke with us, the veterans we mentored with. Nothing prepares you for the stark isolation, the loneliness, always glancing over your shoulder and feeling like you have a target on your back. Or the sacrifices you make. They tell you, but the reality is so much different, worse, and better than what the mind imagines and pieces together.” She’d spoken with Eleyr, the counselor on the Constellation about it, so it was probably in her file somewhere. There was no way it wasn’t coming out anyway. “Emotionally speaking there are still things I struggle with from that day.”

Atoded, CoS

“It might be helpful for you to expand on that with me here, as much as you can of course.” Sheleah said.

• Sheleah, CNS/DO

Brenna smiled. “Not a secret. As I said Richard always pushed me to be my best. We met because we were in the same co-op. We dated all the way up through the graduation ceremony. We had plans for a short leave before we shipped out. Then I got my orders and I told him I was leaving and I thought it was best we broke it off and moved on. No explanation. I said good bye to my parents before they went back to Betazed and then I went to report.” Up until that moment it had been nothing but celebration. She’d been so excited for her parents to meet Richard. “I regretted it, but it was necessary.”

Atoded, CoS