Posted by Lieutenant Natasha Daye (Doctor) in Starfleet Academy - Daye’s Fourth Class Flashback - Spring Term

Posted by Captain Dante Knight (Commanding Officer) in Starfleet Academy - Daye’s Fourth Class Flashback - Spring Term

Posted by Lieutenant Natasha Daye (Doctor) in Starfleet Academy - Daye’s Fourth Class Flashback - Spring Term

Snip

Dante watched her leave for just a moment before turning to Ashley. He found that at that moment he just wanted to be with Nat, as awkward as the conversation had been and with what they had done, Dante hadn’t wanted her to just walk out like that. He knew, though, that it was for the best right now. “Ash we need to go. Walk, back to mine, whatever. We can’t talk here.” Dante found that he was deeply angry at the way that Ash had treated Nat, okey so things had happened that really shouldn’t have, but that didn’t give her the right to try and deliberately make Nat uncomfortable and frustrated. Dante knew that he did care for Nat, and letting someone make her feel like less was not going to be ok no matter what excuse Ashley had for it. No matter what the future held for them both, Dante wouldn’t let Ash treat Nat like she was not important or special to him, including snide little comments and swipes.

Dante headed for the door himself, a different one than Nat had left by. If Ashley wanted to talk, she would walk with him. Stopping outside on the sidewalk, he turned to Ash. “You want to talk?” He asked her, “About what Ash, graduation? The Wellington? John? Or do you want to take more immature shots at Natasha?”

Cadet Dante Knight

Ashley looked at Dante with an expression of deep hurt. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Instead she blew out a long steadying breath between her pursed lips. “I want to know that you love me?” The tone was sincere. Ashley’s face lost the hard edge of anger and softened to the face he had fallen in love with almost three years ago.

“Of course I love you.” His own tone of anger and combativeness had dropped with the question and with the expression on Ashleys face. “I have loved you for three years, and I never had any reason before to question if I loved you or if you loved me. Neither did you Ash.” He worked hard to keep his voice level, and he was shocked at how calm he suddenly felt.

“I want to know we can survive any bump or bomb in our relationship,” she said on the verge of tears. “Was I harsh to Daye? Probably but you have no idea what a gut punch it was to see you looking at her the way you were. You used to look at me that way. As if nothing in the world mattered but me. So yes I was jealous. Insanely jealous,” Ashley’s voice was beginning to take on that higher pitch women moved to right before their emotions took over from logic.

“You were jealous?” Dante stated more than asked, slightly incredulously after what she had pulled with John and after she knew how Dante felt about her ‘friend’.

“That half smirk is my smirk. The way you raise your one eyebrow and stare at me critically right before you break out laughing at something I said is my eyebrow raise,” Ashley reached up and gently traced his eyebrow with the tip of her finger.

He didn’t pull away, but he was confused inside. Part of him wanted to step in closer to her, his girlfriend and the woman he loved, planned to marry in fact for the last three years. They had been perfect for each other, found each other when neither expected to and the simple fact that they had matched so well was a rare treasure that Dante had never imagined he would find. Another part of him wanted to move his head though, to recoil at her touch. That part suddenly sickened him.

“Everyone thinks I will get a commission and a ring when we graduate but right now all I want is to know that if I reach for your hand you will take it. Yes we do need to talk but not here. Not on some street corner.”

Looking up and down the street Ashley saw where they needed to go. “We have an all night liberty. Come with me,” she reached out her hand but waited for Dante to take it. “Let’s spend the night over there and for the next few hours lets just be Ashley and Dante. I don’t want to be cadet Madison and cadet knight. Nothing we have to say can’t wait until morning but if we don’t stop for a second and remember why we love each other we could be lost. I…I just need to be with you,” Ashley said almost begging. “Please. Come with me.” Ashley had no idea what Dante was going to do. So she waited in front of him on a street corner with her hand out ready to folllow his lead.

Cadet Ashley Madison.

He was quiet for a few moments, only seconds but to him those seconds were the slowest he had ever experienced in his life. In amongst them, moments of utter clarity collided and fragmented into explosions of chaos where he was simply conflicted and confused. as those seconds faded Dante looked at Ashleys hand, and reached up his own and took it then stepped closer to her and took her other hand. Feeling her fingers in his, remembering how they had loved, touched, laughed and explored each others very souls, Dante looked up and into Ashleys eyes. She was a beautiful and amazing woman, and a smile crept onto his lips at those memories.

“I do love you Ash, you have no idea how much I do” he said to her, his voice was low, and he kept his eyes looking into hers. “Nothing in this world did matter to me except you. You made me better, stronger and more driven to succeed simply by loving me the way you did, and I loved you more than anything. I trusted you, opened my soul and heart to you, told my mother I had found the woman I was going to marry.”

He looked at her and breathed out slowly, feeling everything he was saying. “And then you lied to me about being with John. You didn’t trust me, had something to hide, and felt like you couldn’t talk to me. It wasn’t even something that serious, you met with your friend, a guy I can’t stand, and said he needed to talk but you lied about it. Ashley something you never do is lie to the people you love, to the people that trust you. That was the start of our troubles, when I suddenly felt that you were hiding something and your weren’t being honest with me. Maybe it was just me, but you lied about having to work and were with John instead, then you looked at me like I had betrayed you when Natasha and I found you two together at that little romantic cafe.” He still held onto her hands, he did love her, and he needed her to know he did.

“I forgave you for it, but after that everything was awkward and we couldn’t connect like we used to. Something had changed Ash and I don’t know what it was. You felt distant to me, I had to make myself believe everything was fine, and because we couldn’t talk about it Natasha listened. Today with the whole graduation mess and you going to the Wellington, getting angry at me for being upset about it, I had to think. Today has been a whole big mess and you verbally attacked the one person who listened and tried to help me understand it. I don’t even know where you went and what you did while I was at class.” Dante’s words faltered a bit here, he knew what he needed to do now, and he wanted to soften the blow. What had happened between he and Natasha was wrong, and shouldn’t have happened. But it had opened his eyes in the chaos of confusion the day had brought.

“Ashley I love you more than you know, but I don’t feel like either of us trusts the other, and maybe for good reason. If you love me like you say you do, why would you lie to me? Why hide simple truths and avoid talking to me? Why get jealous of Natasha? If I trust you like I should, why do I think the worst of you and John? Why am I jealous when you get messages from him? Ash if I love you like I should, like I did, why have I got feelings for Natasha?” The admission was there, out in the open and now it had to be faced. It was the truth, and sometimes it hurt but nothing could ever be truly forgiven and forgotten without the truth.

“Ashley I love you, I do. I just don’t think I am in love with you nor you in love with me any more and you deserve better than that, better than me.” His voice was quiet, and he let go of her hands and stepped back. All he wanted to do was to reach out and hug her, hold her and not let go. He couldn’t though, not now. “I can’t do this, not now.” Dante stepped back and raised his hands in a motion of defeat. “It’s too late to remember why we love each other, and too late for you to need to be with me. We are already lost, Ash if you wanted to be with me and if I wanted to be with you, we wouldn’t have to ask each other.”

Dante turned, pushed his hands into his coat pockets and dropped his head to watch the pavement as he began to walk into the night. He didn’t know or care where he was going, but he was walking. Away.

Cadet Knight