Posted by Lieutenant Alexandra “Little Sehlat” Primage (Pilot. Grn Squad Ldr) in Pre Sim - Trying to find herself again (CNS)

Posted by Lieutenant Alexandra “Little Sehlat” Primage (Pilot. Grn Squad Ldr) in Pre Sim - Trying to find herself again (CNS)

Posted by Lieutenant Alexandra “Little Sehlat” Primage (Pilot. Grn Squad Ldr) in Pre Sim - Trying to find herself again (CNS)
Posted by… suppressed (4) by the Post Ghost! 👻

The night had been a rough one. Between nightmares of being controlled and killing Ric, and waking up crying only to find him alive and holding her, Xandra hadn’t slept much. She and Ric had finally discussed things and she’d agreed to counseling. Sure, she had been ordered to by both him, the Captain and the Doc. But No one had pressed it. She guessed it had been Ric’s doing. He knew she would eventually volunteer. And till she did, going to see the Counselor wouldn’t be productive.

Now, she stood outside the Counselor’s office, her hand coming back to her side after palming the chime. She knew she had to do something. Two times she had succumbed to mind control. She didn’t consider herself weak minded… but…

A shaky breath was inhaled and released as she shoved the thoughts behind her and murmured, “You aren’t a Counselor, Xan… don’t try and diagnose yourself. You’re already crazy enough as it is.”

Lt Alexandra Primage
“Little Sehlat”/Pilot
Red Squad Ldr

Trevor stepped up to the door to open it up. “How’s it going?” The Counselor asked as he led Alex to his office. “I’ve read over your file after the recent mission, why don’t you tell me what happened.” The Lieutenant said, pointing to an empty arm chair in front of his desk.

CNS

Ric

That’s what went thru her mind as the Counselor opened the door and invited her in with the greeting he did. Ric must have left him a message to expect her this morning. She was going to contemplate whether that was a good or bad thing and decided to brush it out of her mind. She was here as she promised, so it made no never mind one way or the other, anyway.

Shaking her head with a smile, Xandra recovered quickly and stepped inside. “I would say ‘ok’ but I’d be lieing. Though I guess that’s why I am here, isn’t it?” Moving to the armchair he had indicated. “Well either I have a weak mind that is so easily overtaken I am a magnet for mind control. The other option is my mind is so strong, I attract them anyway. So it seems I’m screwed either way.” Her final words punctuated by the heavy thud her backside hitting the chair as she all but collapses in it. “Oh yeah, and I almost killed my supervisor who is also my lover. Other than that… I’m just peachy.”

The final words were punctuated with a bit more acidity than she planned but she didn’t apologize. This wasn’t the time to be waffling about etiquette. She was mad and scared all at once. And mad was an easier emotion to deal with.

Xandra
Pilot

“Seems like you’re having quite the time, aren’t you?” Michaels asked rhetorically. The Counselor was aware of the Lieutenant’s last predicament but it wasn’t his place to tell her the ethical dilemma of dating one’s superior. Thankfully, they had the patient-counselor privilege protection working for them.

“Being angry is expected, but don’t let that consume who you are,” Trevor stated. “Mind control is more often involuntary, and it could have easily been me in your shoes if I had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, just as you were.” The Lieutenant thought back to their recent assignment and internally shuttered at the thought of how close he actually came to being victimized.

“I’d have to say you’re wrong if you try to blame yourself for your recent actions,” Trevor added. “You may have been aware of what was going on around you, but there was no way to prevent what your body did while it wasn’t under your control.

Michaels
CNS

She shook her head and scoffed. “So I’m just supposed to accept that every time I leave the ship, or hells, every time I leave my quarters, I may be taken control of and just deal with it? Somehow I don’t think that’s an order I can obey, Sir.” The final words more acerbic than necessary but she wasn’t ready to accept that she wasn’t going to have any say over possibly killing herself or her crew mates. She could accept a lot of things. This just wasn’t one of those.

“Isn’t there some beta blocker, or mind meld that can be done so my brain isn’t accessible that way? I mean, I never hear of Vulcans, or Betazoids ever being taken over and nearly killing one another. So there has to be something I can do to keep from being a risk to Ric, or anyone else again.” She was so desperate, so upset, and feeling so helpless, she wasn’t aware her CAG had suddenly become a first name significant part of her sharing.

Xandra
Pilot
(yup… not good at therapy lol)

1.8.21

The Counselor shook his head. “If there was a sort of therapy we could go through to make us less susceptible to mind control, we would have already gotten it,” Trevor said blankly. Lieutenant Michaels wasn’t sure how much progress he’d be able to make in just one session but was sure Xandra was more angry at herself for what she did to Ric, than her mind being taken over.

“Listen, Lieutenant,” Michaels said. “You’re only going to make progress if you allow yourself to, so your first step might be to talk with Commander O’Shea..... and get some closure over the incident.”

CNS