Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Pawl Batario (Chief Engineer) in 14:00 Meeting with Mr Batario

Posted by Lieutenant Kastarak (First Officer / Navigation Officer) in 14:00 Meeting with Mr Batario

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Pawl Batario (Chief Engineer) in 14:00 Meeting with Mr Batario
Posted by… suppressed (19) by the Post Ghost! 👻
Today was the day that Kastarak would have his first one-to-one meetings with the department heads. He would do them in order of seniority. Before lunch, he had met Mssrs Grey, Symar and Dawson. Now, after lunch, Kastarak would meet with Mr Batario.

Among all the relationships Kastarak would work on with the department heads, the one with Mr Batario would be the most complicated one. There had been intimacy – physical, emotional and sexual – between them. That could no longer continue. Kastarak wondered how that might affect their relationship, and moreover, how it would affect Mr Batario and his emotions and self-identity.

He waited for Mr Batario to enter.

– Lt Kastarak (First Officer)

Pawl calmly but with some apprehension wished something would happen to keep him from this meeting. He knew this meeting was not going to be an easy one or a comfortable one either. He knew that with the change of power on the ship that would change the nature of everything they had known and started to feel special to him. He sighed hard as he exited the lift and he moved towards the office of the xo. As he closed on the doors to the office. he calmly tapped the chime and waited as calmly as he could for a response.

Lt Jg Pawl Batario - Chief Engineer

Kastarak signalled for the doors to open.

“Good afternoon,” he said, inviting Pawl to enter. He had initially decided to say Good afternoon, Mr Batario to signal the now distance, but thought it unnecessarily cruel to do so before even talking. They were intimate with one another, after all. Similarly, he could not say good afternoon, Pawl, either.

“Please come in and sit down with me,” he said. “We have much to discuss.”

Kastarak sat on one side of the desk and signalled for Pawl to sit opposite.

– Lt Kastarak (First Officer)

“Good Afternoon Sir Lt Jg Pawl Batario reporting as ordered!” Pawl said quickly in reply as he moved swiftly towards the seat as requested by Kasarak. He knew this was not going to be an easy process to deal with such an abrupt change. PAwl tried to get comfortable but it was not an easy thing for him at this moment.

Lt Jg Pawl Batario - Chief Engineer

Kastarak noticed the high formality from Pawl and was taken aback a little. He had not expected Pawl to be this cold and distant.

“How are you feeling about this meeting, Pawl?” Kastarak asked, obviously concerned about Pawl.

– Lt Kastarak (XO)

Pawl fell silent for a good minute before he spoke. “I am feeling fine Sir! ” Pawl said calmly and collected. Noticing he felt Kasarak’s concern about his formality as he entered. “I am ok Kasarak. I am still in awe of the change of command as it were sir!” inadvertly going more formal again. ” I am feeling there are going to be changes and disappointments.” Pawl said at the future observations he was feeling and seeing. As he fell silent so Kasarak had time to collect his thoughts before the reaction to his inquiry.

Lt Jg Pawl Batario - Chieef Engineer

Changes and disappointments. Kastarak agreed. He let the pause that Pawl initiated to go on for a few more seconds before speaking.

“I believe that as well,” Kastarak said in a softer voice than usual. “We need to discuss them. Do you wish that I begin, or shall we begin with your perspective?”

— Lt Kastarak (XO)

“Please proceed this is your meeting.” Pawl said calmly. Pawl thought about the words Changes and disappointments. As he waited for the man to continue but he did keep quiet.

Lt Jg Pawl Batario - Chief Engineer

“Very well,” said Kastarak. He took a deep breath.

“Pawl, we have been intimate with one another. You have become part of my identity. When I choose not to purge my emotions, I have in my heart warm feelings of affection for you. This new position, that I have accepted in the interests of crew makes it impossible for me to continue that kind of relationship with you. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one – my needs to be with you. As such, I will need us to end this romantic and sexual relationship of ours.”

– Lt Kastarak (XO)

“I understand sir!” Trying not to let the feelings hurt him or anyone in the situation. Pawk kept quiet for a long time. “I do understand but I hope we can still be friends. Sir??” Pawl asked with a slightly wavering voice. As he sat quietly as he awaited the reply. He knew it was not his fault it was the new situation and the crew was more important than one’s happiness etc pawl thought to himself. Pawl was not sure if he was projecting any of his thoughts or not. but his emotions were a bit impaired at this moment so anything is possible with he projecting or his powers were blocked by the thoughts of mind and emotions of heartache.

Lt Jg Pawl Batario - Chief Engineer

Kastarak could hear the pleading in Batario’s voice. Moreover, he could feel emotions emanating across the room from Batario’s core. It pained Kastarak.

“I hope that, too,” he replied softly, looking at the face across him that he had grown to care for and cherish – perhaps even love.

“I realize this will be difficult for the two of us. How can you seek support and help in this?”

– Lt Kastarak (XO)

Pawl knew Kasarak could feel him. He has been picking up bits and pieces from him even with the turmoil in his heart. “Pawl slipped protocol as he spoke from his mind and heart. “Kasarak. .. I should have thought this would happen to us but I did not think it would be this soon or quickly as his voice crackled a bit. “I will be fine It will take time and it will be hard to do so.” Pawl sighed hard. “Short of attempting to contact my family on Betazed which there is no guarantee that I can get through to anyone one maybe my brother. Mother monitors and blocks communications at times. Long story.” Pawl said with a cracky voice. Maybe Liam or Tanis might be able to reach them since they are not on Betazed. Yes! MY Brothers will help me. ” as Pawl tried to fight off any more unnecessary emotion as he wiped a solo tear away from his eye. “Liam lives on Pacifica and Tanis is on Risa.”Pawl said calmly and a bit more in control right now. “I will attempt to contact them both after my shift is over. Since our upcoming mission is going to be limited in crew and such they can’t visit as long as we make it back from that dangerous mission.” PAwl sighed hard. “Is there going to be any communications blackout??” Pawl asked casually to Kararak? “I can start a long log entry to them and send it before the departure of that mission.” Pawl said with a crackle in his voice again.

Lt Jg Pawl Batario - Chief Engineer

Kastarak sensed the feelings in Pawl. He pondered what this new change of relationship would mean for Pawl once the mission began. There would certainly be a communications blackout once in Klingon space – the mission was clandestine. Would Pawl be alright? Would he feel lonely and in emotional pain?

A knot developed in Kastarak’s gut. He recognized it as anguish. He did not wish for it, but out of respect for Pawl and his feelings for him, he decided not to purge the emotions, not just yet. His feelings for Pawl, no matter how painful at this moment, were something he wanted to feel – almost like a drug.

Pawl had changed the topic. It was a difficult conversation for him.

“There will likely be a communications blackout once we reach Klingon space,” Kastarak said. “Use your free time until then, should you wish, to contact those near and dear to you, so that once we go to Klingon space, you may do so with some sense of peace in your system. As your friend, and as your first officer, I will support you in whatever way I can.”

– Lt Kastarak (XO)

“Thank you sir I appreciate that.” Pawl said finally to him. Was there anything more you wish to discuss with me before moving on? feeling that Kasarak was having a much easier time with all of this change. he thought to himself. “I appreciate the time to talk with my brothers before going off the grid as it were.” Pawl said with a bit of old earth slang.

Lt Jg Pawl Batario - Chief Engineer

Kastarak sensed the emotional conflict in Pawl, and empathised with Pawl. Kastarak too felt conflict and pain, and, indeed, guilt for hurting himself and for hurting Pawl.

He wasn’t sure how to continue but he had other things to cover.

First, he needed to get the lump in his gut gone. He closed his eyes for a second and regulated his nervous system, purging all emotions for now and returning to a serene state of mind.

“Very well. We shall now discuss how you perform in your position, your aspirations and your relationship with your junior officers. Please summarise your thoughts on these matters.”

Lt Kastarak (XO)

Pawl was almost floored by the comment. “I believe I am doing well as Chief Engineer in a cool calm and collective way. Do my best to keep an open mind. I am not sure what you are asking about aspirations? As for the junior officer, I believe we are doing well. ” pawl said at a loss at this line of questioning. “Am I doing something wrong? Last I knew the captain was pleased with my performance of dealing with engineering and the ship?” Pawl said with a straight face. Pawl was starting to take things personally after a breakup no he felt he was being attacked about his being chief Engineer.

Lt Jg Pawl Batario - Chief Engineer

Kastarak noticed the defensiveness in Pawl. Kastarak had conveyed what he had meant in the wrong way. The lump of guilt in his gut returned.

“I am not questioning your place in your position, Mr Batario. I am interested how you assess your needs in your position, so that you might progress further. As for your aspirations, what do you wish to focus learning more about? Your career. I need also to know how you view your relationships in Engineering. Perhaps there is an aspect there you wish to have more help with. Or perhaps not.”

Kastarak thought of Lovejoy, knowing full well how she was constantly undermining Batario’s authority. But he could not say that right now. He regretted this. How was he supposed to be Pawl’s superior officer when there are so many emotions around.

– Lt Kastarak (XO)

“As far as I understand your question. All of my interests and assistances have been met quite well by staff and crew.” Pawl said calmly to him. “I thought of doing more with engineering along with dealing with more assignments in the helm and navigation as well.” Pawl added. Pawl hoped this clarified things with Kasarak. “As for the relationships of the crew of the engineering department and the dynamics of engineering seem to be well.” Pawll offered calmly. “I am sorry if I am not understanding as well as I should.”

Lt Jg Pawl Batario - Chief Engineer

“There is no need to apologise. I expect us both to be under some emotional stress. This was not easy for you, nor for me. Nor is the upcoming mission easy. Perhaps we should continue this conversation another time, when we might be better regulated.”

He paused.

“Do you have anything you wish to discuss before we conclude today’s meeting?”

– Lt Kastarak (First Officer)

“No KAsarak I am fine.” Pawl said kindly. “Its your choice if you wish to end the meeting sir!” pawl added as he waited for dismissal from Kasarak.

Lt Jg Pawl Batario - Chief Engineer

Kastarak could not discern if the answer from Pawl was honest. But without any evidence for dishonesty, Kastarak determined that he had no option than to end it.

Kastarak rose from his seat, and lifted his right hand, and made a Vulcan V-shaped salute.

“Pawl, parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched. I sever what was. With these words, Pawl, you are freed of our bond.”

– Lt Kastarak (First Officer)

Pawl was not ready for those words to resonate like they did in his ears and mind. “So it’s official?” pawl said with a cracked voice. Pawl returned the salute in a traditional Vulcan manner. ” Kasarak, Parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched. I sever what was. With these words, Kasarak, You are freed of our bond.” as his voice started to crackle worse at the end. As he forced himself to keep his composure. He felt like getting out of there quickly before he did fail to keep his emotions in check. He knew that Kasarak would know he would always care and love him even if the words weren’t said. He stood there still waiting to be dismissed. If felt like an eternity.

Lt Jg Pawl Batario - Cheif Engineer

Seeing Pawl choke up was not what Kastarak had expected. He felt the pain in his gut too, while he did not show it in his face. He knew that Pawl would sense it was difficult for Kastarak too. Or did he know? Perhaps it was a mere hope…

“I shall always be thankful for our time together,” said Kastarak.

He wanted to end the meeting but could not say the word ‘dismissed’. It was too harsh a word for poor Pawl.

“Please go…” Kastarak said softly, his voice cracking ever so slightly.

– Lt Kastarak (XO/NO)