Posted by Lieutenant Symar (Chief Medical Officer) in Mutual Feelings (Tag XO)

Posted by Lieutenant Commander T’Aria (XO / Navigation Officer) in Mutual Feelings (Tag XO)

Posted by Lieutenant Symar (Chief Medical Officer) in Mutual Feelings (Tag XO)

(Snip!)

“I think..” Symar said, “I think it’s trying to tell me that the two of us should be sharing a life together. If that’s something you want of course?” He was nervous now, it had certainly been a while since he felt this way for anyone, let alone another.... a Vulcan.

-Lieutenant Symar: Chief Medical Officer-

Until then, she attributed their bond to closeness and the intense, unbridled emotions shared in confidence without the security of discretion. Their mind meld forced them to share a part of themselves that might have otherwise remained submerged. T’Aria entertained that their connection was more profound than camaraderie, but she had not allowed herself to hope for something more. They served together. She was his superior officer, and any romantic involvement could present a conflict of interest. So, she swiftly dismissed the feeling and maintained a professional front. But their bond had evolved beyond professionalism, and she knew it. There was nothing ‘professional’ about nightly visits nor the meld they shared. There was nothing ‘professional’ about how she felt for him and, in his endearingly indirect confession, he felt for her.

Besides, what did hiding behind the guise of righteousness do except bring unnecessary hurt? They were informed, consenting adults with responsibility for themselves and others. Doubtless, they possessed the self-regulation to separate their emotions from their duties as a physician and XO.

Her conflict, then, was not a matter of duty but vulnerability. Was she ready to share her life with someone?

Vulcans did not ‘date’. They did not engage in casual relationships nor welcome anyone into their private inner world. When they pursued another, it was not for the transient passion of a single night but for the promise of commitment. And there was an unspoken expectation in Vulcan society that that commitment was for life. But were his views the same? He was raised Vulcan, but that did not suggest that his caregivers bestowed upon him similar values, nor that he chose to uphold those values in his adulthood.

Did, then, ‘sharing a life’ have a different meaning to Symar than it did to her?

In any case, the permanence in ‘sharing a life’ unnerved T’Aria. Unlike past relationships, however, her dread did not go uncontested. She could not ignore how much Symar meant to her. He invited chaos into her orderly life. He challenged her (and her patience). His presence calmed her, allowing her respite from the caution she had for her expression and tone. There were no expectations between them. And, though she did not (and would not) always understand, she appreciated everything that made them different.

Above all, he made her feel seen.

Her feelings for him were not enough to dismiss the concerns from her mind, but they allowed her to entertain the thought of them moving forward with their relationship… however that looked for them.

“I admit I am hesitant,” she spoke quiet and soft. “You mean a lot to me, Symar, and I know this is the logical progression of our relationship. There is, however, a stark difference between the evenings we share and sharing our lives. I am happy to explore that difference with you, but I need to know what you expect from our relationship.”

— T’Aria

Symar sighed, then smiled, “I know I will do all I can to make you happy.”

-Symar-

T’Aria untangled her limbs from their stiff, stress-induced hold and reached for his hands.

“Symar, I…” her breath hitched and she stumbled over her thoughts, briefly at a loss for words, “…I know. Your promise honours me, and I wish to say the same, but I do not know that I can.”

“Your wellbeing and happiness are paramount,” she continued, “and I recognise we have different emotional needs. So, if we pursue this, I ask that you are open and candid with me, and I will do the same. I do not want you to ever feel unheard or unappreciated. Is this fair?”

— T’Aria